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Translations: Gintama 683 by kewl0210 , One Piece 904 by cnet128

Gintama 481

Essay manga are easy to draw.

+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on Feb 13, 2014 18:11 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 481

...But not easy to translate you lazy creature. Though I can now say I've translated an essay manga and add this experience to my non existent portfolio, so I guess you win this round archfiend Sorachi.

Hi wa mata noboru only

(Text- Aimless Universal Walk.)
(Side text- An essay manga begins!!)
(Text- Episode 50---Star of the Samurai.)
This is GINTAMA….right?
(TN- Okay so after losing my mind googling this, the best I could find is ‘Burari Sakagura Sanpo’ by Miyoko Yanno which is a travel book. I’m pretty sure that isn’t right. I’m also not sure what Kasei Jin refers to, but ‘Kasei’ is Mars, and while the ‘Jin’ here has a different reading for ‘benevolence’, it can also be read as ‘person’. So Kasei Jin could literally mean ‘Martian’. ….I can tell I’m going to hate this lesson.)
{Greetings readers from all parts of the universe.}
{I’m the galaxy essayist, Kasei Jin.}
{Now, where in the Galaxy will my dart pierce and take us for this time…the 50th episode of this manga?}
{The choice for this commemorative 50th episode is…}
(Sfx- Dosuhh *thok*)

{Earth is a planet which is located in the Solar system.}
{With a large amount of water in the atmosphere and it’s being blessed with natural resources and various creatures, it is a beautiful planet.}
{However because there are so many creatures there the amount of competition is harsh.}
Kase Jin: I do wonder what kind of creatures are in control of earth right now?
{My editor who accompanies me on this trip, N-san.}
N: There are mobs of creatures on that planet…so you have to know that the one who could reign victorious must be a fearsome one indeed.
Kase Jin: What kind of creature….?!
N: For example, 60 million years ago, the Earth had these kinds of creatures in control.
Kase Jin: Eeeh?! We’re going to be eaten!!
(Sfx- Gyaasuuu *rooooar*)
N: And then you had creatures like this and that running about…
Kase Jin: Eeeeh?! We really are gonna get eaten!!
(Sfx- Oooooooh)
N: And the creatures currently controlling earth are…

N: It’s Exile.
Kase Jin: Eeeeh?! They’re gonna eat us!!
(TN- Japanese band. Sorachi talks about them pretty much every week so lets move on.)
N: Hahahah. There’s no need to worry. They may look savage, but they primarily feast on female actresses and models.
Besides EXILE has to consider their own attractiveness and don’t needlessly eat other creatures. That’s the kind of dazzling beasts they are.
(Earth’s creatures over the last 46 billion years.}
{Exile era (10 years ago)//Titan era (6500 years ago) Dinosaur era (4 million years ago)
Kase Jin: Eeh? So despite looking scary they’re pretty nice?
N: Yes, they’re quite gentle.
{True enough as soon as we disembarked on earth there were lots of these EXILE creatures.}
Kase Jin: Aah! It’s EXILE!!
There’s EXILE there too! And over here!!
{I then decided to make contact with one of these EXILE.}
Kase Jin: Excuse me? You there…the extremely beautiful young lady?
Are you EXILE?

Tae: I’m B’z dammit!!
(Sfx- Gonnn *thoooook*)
Kase Jin: N-shiiii!! I Thought you said these EXILE creatures are gentle?!
{So we decided to do some investigating…}
Otose: Hahah. It might look like it, but that isn’t EXILE.
{While wandering we stopped at a bar where the female owner helped us in various ways.}
Otose: Living on Earth are various other creatures besides EXILE.
(Top text – Earth’s creatures// EXILE/WANDS/W-inds/B’z/SADS/Sada Masashi)
Kase Jin: I don’t get it! Other than Sada Masashi, aren’t they all basically the same?!
(TN- Sada Masashi is a singer, composer, actor and novelist who specializes in Folk pop….which is a little different than the groups pictured.)
Otose: I guess writing it might make it harder to understand. Here, lets use a picture instead…that should make things easier.
(Written- Sada Masahi//SADS//WANDS//B’Z)
Kase Jin: I still don’t understand any of this other than Sada Masahi!!

{So according to our conversations after the country was opened contact with different creatures began and complex diversification occurred.}
{Just how should I begin collecting information?}
Otose: Though a long time ago humans were much simpler and easier to understand.
Kase Jin: Okay then, what kind of creatures lived before now? I’d certainly like to know.
Otose: They’ve all but been eradicated but…
At one time there were ‘Samurai’.
Kase Jin: Samurai?
{So the landlady explained how 6 million years before the dinosaurs and other fearsome beasts who once were rampant on the planet ended up dying out.}
{It was during this warring states period where people were most repressed that a certain class came and returned peace to Earth.}
{They were the Samurai.}
{They had iron bodies and iron hearts…}
{As they swung their blades bisecting the earth….creatures of legend.}

N: They sound amazing!! How could they have been eradicated?!
Was it a meteor? A change of the Earth’s crusts?
Otose: An employment ice age.
N: Ice age?! So not even the samurai could beat an ice age could they?!
Kase jin: I’d really like to collect information…
Are you saying there’s not a single samurai left on Earth?
Otose: Yes, you’d be hard pressed to find one if there are any.
But if you’d like to see a fossil of times past then I can point you in the right direction.
N: Seriously? Where is he?
Otose: There.
That’s the fossilized droppings of a samurai.

Kase Jin: That’s the (droppings) of the legendary creatures known as Samurai?
{Top right- Fuzzy hair.}
{Dirty stick.}
{Dead fish eyes.}
{Dirty stick.}
{Although he doesn’t quite live up to the legends, I assume it’s because he is merely the droppings of a samurai?}
Gintoki: Eh? Collecting info? Sure thing as long as I get paid.
{Samurai (droppings) is allowing us to shadow him to collect info.}
{Samurai (droppings) is currently not going by the name ‘Samurai’ but ‘Freelancer.’}
{He typically doesn’t go hunting, but instead uses the weaknesses of other creatures as bait.}
(Handwritten- Ma’am you went a little too far.)
(Handwritten- I sorta have to give this to your husband….but what do you want to do?)
(Handwritten- Please don’t tell him….i’ll pay you.)
{He seems to have traits similar to the hyena.}
{His nourishment intake seems to favor and only consist of sweets and alcohol.}
(Sfx- Mucha mucha *chew chew*)
{During the day he walks on two legs in a drunken stupor.}
(Sfx- Ueeeeehhh *hoooorgh*)
{Meanwhile at night he is on all fours. He certainly is a peculiar animal.}

{Day and night he sluggishly lies around without moving.}
{He can sometimes go whole days without movement…}
Kase Jin: I wonder what is going on here? I heard that samurai are hard working creatures…
(Handwritten- I have no way to gather info…)
N: I think I get it…
It’s why the other samurai besides this fellow were wiped out by the ice age…
It’s because he slacked off and went into hibernation….a situation where he had apparently died.
During the day he covets his energy and lowers his consumption to its minimum levels and it’s through doing this for emergency measures that he was able to survive the ice age.
Kase Jin: I see! That’s why his eyes look like those of a dead fish!!
N: Yup. It’s because he’s supposed to be half dead.
Perhaps even within the ranks of samurai, he managed to evolve in a strange and unique way.
{We are creatures who have gone through a shocking amount of evolution…sometimes right before our eyes.}
{However surprises don’t end there.}
{Samurai are a group who flock together and have bonds different from family and friendship.}
{What brings them together is the relationship between ‘lord and master’.}

{Lord and master…or the leader of the group ‘the master’.}
{Moreover the ‘followers’ can form a group around this leader.}
{The followers work for the sake of the master for –and above all, virtue.}
{Their selfless devotion is a beauty that has a value far exceeding anything in the universe.}
{However the Samurai have been eradicated and their masters have disappeared.}
{Seeing such a thing might make us think they have given up on their dreams and hopes, but upon seeing this…}
Gintoki: So bro, how was it? Are you an ‘S’? or an M?
(Handwritten- I could hear you from outside.)
{Yes, the Samurai are still in an uninterrupted ‘lord and master’ relationship even now.}
(Sfx- Gohhh *thoook*)

Kagura: You filthy pig! Where have you been wandering around and playing huuuuh?!
{‘Followers’ are ‘pigs.’}
(Sfx- Gooshahh *thooooom*)
Gintoki: No I wasn’t playing around. I told you earlier its gathering info.
Kagura: And how will you gain money that way? If you have free time then pay the Queen of Kabukcho dammit!!
{‘Master’ has become ‘The Queen’.}
(Sfx- Gah gah *thump thump*)
Kase Jin: C—could it be…
That even the relationship between lord and master has evolved?!
{It appears Queens dominate men in the society of Samuraidom.}
{Since the country opened it seems a new creature has entered the flow.}
{It appears the declination of Samurai has to do with the sudden shake up of the hierarchy between men and woman’s stand points. Now that the roles have been reversed, it shows just how fearsome these creatures are.}
{Samurai (droppings) on the other hand have the short end of this shake up as they are merely the M pigs of these queens who have taken over. It seems their eradication has to do with the relationship of ‘lord and master’ evolving into an SM relationship. They truly are beautiful in their guardianship of these virtues.}

{The Samurai (droppings) hierarchy seems to be as such.}
{The top is the queen and then below her is her beloved animal.}
{….After this is a flock of fleas…}
{And the roaches that eat them.}
{Then the rolled up magazine that disposes them.}
{And attached to that is the Samurai (dropping.)}
{Beyond that it seems from time to time he talks to what seems to be an illusion.}
Gintoki: Yo Pattsan…you change your glasses?
Shinpachi: Oh? You noticed?
{It seems because he has such a low standing that it has driven him mad and he’s created a glasses illusion to talk to.}
N: The Samurai would allow themselves to be belittled to this extent for their masters?
Even if it meant becoming eradicated? How beautiful.
{However Samurai are not limited to their heart alone…}
{Should their master be in danger, they are more than prepared to give up their lives.}
{Without strengthening themselves they cannot carry out protection of their masters.}

{To that end the Samurai trains daily never neglecting his duties.}
{This is how he improves his body and his skills.}
{But Samurai (droppings) here…}
{He spends his days gambling and living like a corpse.}
{It doesn’t appear that he is tempering himself at all.}
{We’ve begun to resign to our feelings of doubt….is samurai (droppings) strong or weak?}
Kase jin: Just how long will he last without his training?
Could it be that samurai (droppings) is regressing from his own lack of strength?
N: Don’t say foolish things!! Samurai (droppings) can’t possibly be a creature who is that weak!
We have to show results for this new path we’ve started down!! We have to think of alternatives!!
Perhaps he is simply waiting for a chance to defend public order should it be threatened?
Kase jin: So rather than train he goes straight to combat?
However samurai (droppings)-san gives off such an aura that no one seems to approach him…
N: Hey. See that metal pipe there? Use it to test him.
Kase jin: Eeh?
N: Pick it up and use it to hit samurai (droppings)- san as hard as you can.
No need to worry. Samurai (droppings)-san is sure to have enough strength in his emergency reserves to defend himself.
I’m sure he’ll fend off your attack with no problems somehow.

Kase jin: W—when should I do it?
It’d be rude to attack him while he’s eating…
(Sfx- Kucha kucha *chew chew*)
N: When he’s done with that squid leg you can go for it.
Kase jin: Hm?
Squid leg?
(Sfx- Karararaan *clatter*)
Gintoki: This is so tough to chew.
(Sfx- Kucha kucha *cew chew*)
N: R—ridiculous!! When did he…
Y—you haven’t even hit him yet!!
C—could it be he read your intent simply using your ‘presence’, and acted first?!
Kase jin: Forget about that!! He’s eating my leg isn’t he!!
N: You’ll be fine. You’ve still got plenty after all.
Kase jin: Nooo! It takes a whole lot of time to grow another one!!
N: Moreover he was able to react by simply reading your presence… that means he must be pretty strong!

N: You’ve got plenty of legs so why not try testing him one more time?
Kase jin: Eeh?!
N: If he is able to read your movements by your presence, then we really need to find a means of putting it to the test!
If for example someone were to try to kill him via poison he should be able to read that killing intent and act accordingly.
Kase jin: That’s too dangerous!!
N: We’ll just sneak some laxative in his dinner. Earth food is repulsive anyway so it’ll be fine.
Kase jin: That’s your problem?
N: Plus with this method you won’t have to sacrifice any more of your legs.
Gintoki: Okaaay.
(Sfx- juuuhh *huffff*)
Gintoki: Here’s tonight’s meal…fried octopus.
Kase jin: Moreover when does he find the time to keep taking my legs?! How did he take them!?
Kagura: We ate this last night, yes? Why this again?
Gintoki: What do you mean ‘again’?!
Shinpachi: Yeah, I’ve had my fill of octopus too. I don’t even want to see them anymore.
Kase jin: Even the illusion eats?! More like you guys are casually eating another person’s legs aren’t you!?

Gintoki: Dudes, stop with the selfish shit all right? We’ve got food and you just eat it with less bitching.
(Handwritten- I had to desperately fish for this stuff you know?)
N: Samurai (droppings) is a fearsome creature indeed.
Could it be that he’s already a creature who has evolved onto a higher plan than us?
Kase jin: No! He’s just a hungry brute is all!!
Gintoki: Huh? Aren’t you gonna eat anything? I guess eating your kind is tough huh?
Hm? What’s up with your legs?
Kase jin: N—no! I’m sure they’re just shrunken in from the moment…
Gintoki: Ah. Well they’ll grow back soon enough anyway right?
Kase jin: Y—yes they will…
Gintoki: That’s sorta awesome.
Then as long as you’re alive we’ll have no problems having legs to eat for all of eternity, yeah?
(Sfx- Goshaaahh *Craasssh*)
Kase jin: I have to go and buy a pen!!
{I have to get away…}
{While I still have an arm to grip a pen with I have to run from here!}
{Samurai (droppings)…}
{I haven’t ascertained for sure if he is the result of superior evolution, but…}
{It is without a doubt that he is a dangerous creature…}
{Who threatens the peace of the entire galaxy!!}

{Now that I know this…}
{I have to grip my pen with the arm I have left…}
{And write my essay…}
{To the universe!!}
N: So you were able to get a pen?
Kase jin: It’s a shame we had to stop data collection in the middle and when things were getting interesting, but I won’t lie I’m fine with this.
After all I too..
Was getting tired of earth’s repulsive food.
(Sfx- Kucha kucha *chew chew*)
N: Aaah…I love the fried octopus of Oosaka star…
(Messy text- N-shi that’s…)

Shinpachi: Gin-san..
It appears this week’s Gintama is only one page.
Shinpachi: I do wonder if leaving things this way is for the best?
Gintoki: Samurai are creatures who eat their fill and hibernate.
Shinpachi: I guess…ugh. I really am tired of octopus though.
Kagura: Hm? Look Gin-chan…
TV: The man said ‘It’ll grow back again anyway’ and returned here…
And under his jacket he was bound in tortoise shell bondage…
Gintoki: Oh wow…
So there are fearsome creatures like that in out in the universe huh?
Lesson 481: Essay manga are easy to draw.
(Side text- And there are Gorilla creatures who like to take it easy too…)
(Bottom text- Next week a center color page and information on the 10th year project!)

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