Gintama 615

It was one of those chapters that got easier as it went along despite being so very texty. I guess that's why I managed to get this out first? Maybe? (Doubt it.)



Also I have a plurk now, so feel free to friend me there and stuff.

GINTAMA
Lesson 615: All of which is named balls should be given the utmost care.
SORACHI HIDEAKI
(Sfx- Kuwaaaaah Roaaaaar)
(Side text- Prevent the attack on Kabuki cho!!)
Someone: The road...!!
Rather than hindering the enemy, it's separated our soldiers!!
They've launched a surprise attack on the rear units.

002
Solider: Should we turn back and go for assistance?
???: No need.
Something like this is child's play.
We don't need military might to counter such a trifling trick.
Think back to basics. The true essence of war is those who are few in number regaining control of those who outnumber them.
We needn't concern ourselves with the ants who come from the rear....let the armies back there stomp on them.
We will continue forth and bring that huge gun down!
Let's do this!!
(Sfx- Dooooon booooom)
003
(Sfx- Kushhh sffffhhh)
(Sfx- Dodododododo Thmpthmpthmp)
Dakini: Oh?
And here I thought your plan was simply to muddle our advance...
But it seems you really do intend to stop us...?
Rather than this being a clever scheme, it's just the action of fools.

004
Katherine: Oh? It looks like they've gotten started.
(From left: Kabuki-cho//Oniwaban//Shinsengumi//Separation//Oniwaban.)
Otose: The enemies heading toward Kabuki-cho have been divided with the back end left to the Shinsengumi...
And those up front are prey for the Shinobi. By overwhelming them like this, they hope to whittle away the enemy's power before they reach kabuki-cho.
However, they've been unable to stop that giant spear by much.
Even if they shave away their swords, or chip away at their strength....
They burst right through those obstacles...
And have made it this far.

005
Otose: The time is drawing near.
We'd best be ready.
(Sfx- Kara kara clatter catter)
???: We've got confirmation that the enemy draws near!
Their location is the third southern gate!!
Everyone: LET'S GOOOOO!!
(Sfx- Gogogogogo rmmmmmble)

006
???: The war has beguuuuuuuuuun!!!
(Sfx- Doooouuu fwoooom)
(Sfx-Gosuh THOK)

007
Shinpachi(?): Gin-saaaaaaaaaaan!!!
(Sfx- Dooshaaaah thud)
Shinpachi: Heeeeey! Time out! Time out!!
Gintoki: Oh God, ny eye fell out, my eeeeeeyee! Someone get it!
(Sfx- Goro goro rolll)
Shinpachi: We're your allies!! The yorozuya!!!
Tae: Shin-chan?!
Wait, hold on everyone!!
Shinpachi: Sister!
Tae: Oh thank goodness that you're all okay!!
Gintoki: IN WHAT WAY DOES THIS LOOK OKAY?! I look like I just had a one on one fight with a barbed wire fence and then took a bat to the head, dammit!!
Apologize to me and Gren, walking violence woman!!
(Sfx- Gooohhh Thooom)
Shinpachi: SISTEEEEEEER!! SERIOUSLY, STOP WITH THE ROCK CATAPULTS!!
Tae: It's fine, because I threw that one with my bare hands.
Shinpachi: But it's not fine?!
Gintoki: My balls fell off....could you pick 'em up?
Kagura: I do not want to, nope.
(Sfx- Koro koro roolll)

008
Shinpachi: We heard that Kabuki-cho was in danger so we came to help!!
So please let us in!! More like, someone save us!!
Tae: We appreciate the thought, but right now, Kabuki-cho is a fortress that can't allow even a mouse in!
If you don't want to be hurt, please keep some distance away from here!!
Shinpachi: IS THAT THE SORTA THING YOU SHOULD SAY TO YOUR ALLIES?! MORE LIKE, ENOUGH WITH THE ROCK THROWING!!
Tae: I'm not doing this for your sake, but for the enemies that are closing in behind you! Hurry up and get out of here!
Shinpachi: NGHOOOO!!
Kagura: We are stuck between a rock and a hard place, yes? We have to find another entrance!
(Sfx- Gasuuhh thud)
Gintoki: GAHHHH!! SOMEONE KICKED MY BALLS...!!
Shinpachi: Tetsuko-san!
Tetsuko: Hold on a sec, I'll open it up....
Shinpachi: Tetsuko-san, the enemy is already this close...!!
Tetsuko: Here we go...

009
Tetsuko: Hell's gate is now open!!
(Sfx- Dodododododo Thothothohooom)
Shinpachi: GYAAAHHHH!!
Tetsuko: All right!!
(Handwritten- I got 'em!)
Shinpachi: IN WHAT WAY IS THIS ALRIGHT?! WHAT EXACTLY IS HELL'S GATE?!
Tetsuko: Hell's Gate is the weapon I created to send the enemy straight to hell. I used swords that were no longer useful in it's creation.
Shinpachi: 'The hell kind of dangerous entrance is that!? Didn't you just get finished saying you were going to let us in?!
Tetsuko: Once one enters Hell's gate, they never come out again. It's a weapon that is simultaneously an entrance and not.
Shinpachi: Don't go making confusing pieces of garbage!!
Tetsuko: If you're looking for other ways in, then you might wanna try over there.
(Sfx- Kuwaaah roaaar)
Shinpachi: Where?!
(Sfx- Zuhhhh)
Tesuko: Heaven's Gate.
It's a weapon that is simultaneously an entrance, but not. It sends the enemy straight to heaven.
(Sfx- Zubooohhhh fwoooom)
(Sfx- Aaaaaaaahhh!!)
Shinpachi: IN THE END IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER?!

010
Shinpachi: Gin-saaaan!! It's no good, there are no entrances anywhere!!
W---
WAIT, YOU'RE STILL CHASING YOUR BALLS?!
Agomi: Paako, over here!
Gintoki: Y—YOure....
A---A---Antonio!!
Agomi: I'm Agomi, dammit! You basically only got the “A” part right in that!
But no need to worry, I'll open this door immediately!
(Sfx- Paakah sfft)
(Sfx- Pashiihhh dsssh)
Gintoki(?): Sorry!
(Sfx- Pataaan slam)
Agomi: Welcome back, Paako~
And with this you are now truly one of our comrades...
An unashamed Okama~
Welcome to Morocco Gate.
(TN- I sorta think this might be a runaway reference to Kyuubee's line about her gender in her introductory arc?)

011
Gintoki: THAT GATE'S THE ENTRANCE TO A DIFFERENT WORLD ENTIRELY!!
GIVE ME BACK MY SOOOONN!! IF IT'S MONEY YOU WANT I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU!!
(Sfx- Don don don Thud thud thud)
Gintoki: I'LL GET MONEY SOMEHOW!! JUST PLEASE TAKE CARE OF MY SON AND PUT IT IN A BAG IN A FREEZER!!
Shinpachi: WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING WHEN THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END?!
BEHIND YOOOOOU!! THE ENEMY IS ALREADY HERE!!
(Sfx- DOOO DOOOH THOOM THOOM)
???: Hey you bastards...
I dunno if you came to take earth or whatever, but...
(Sfx- Mishiii Grinnd)
Saigou: I'd say you look more than resolved...
To have your balls taken from you.
(Sfx- Bushaaaahhh blooorsh)
Shinpachi: There's a hell's gate over there toooo!!
Gin-saaaaan!! Hang in there!!
Kagura: Heeey! Gin-chan, Shinpachi!
If you are looking for an entrance, then I have found one, yes!
Shinpachi: Huuuuh?!

012
Gintoki: Dude, don't belt that information out in the loudest voice you can, the enemy is....
(Sfx- Kuwaaaah Roaaaar)
Shinpachi: Ah, Kagura-chan...
Gintoki: Kaguraa!!
(Sfx- Bata bata sffft)
Kagura: Oh?
And who are these children?
I do not recall calling filthy babes such as these here, Kyoushirou.
I came here expecting men of the utmost caliber to welcome me.
Kyoushirou: My deepest apologies, Kagura-sama.
Esteemed gentlemen of the Liberation front, this is Takamagahara....a host club.
A place such as this is meant to entertain women.
If you'll excuse my rudeness, I'm afraid men wielding such dangerous things are not welcome here.
Dude: What'd you say?! I'll friggin' kill you!
Kagura: It is fine Kyoushirou.
If they want entry into this place so badly, why not allow it?

013
Kagura: Listen boys, I will give you 5 bottles of Oromin C.
In exchange I will take those dangerous looking things.
(Sfx- Munzuhhh sslplorc)
Kagura: Women have no need for those after all.
Saigou: Five D*cks for 5 bottles of oromin C, as ordered.
(Sfx- Bushiiaaahhh Bloroooosh)
Shinpachi: IT'S THE SAME HERE TOOOO!?
What the hell is wrong with this city?! It's like you can't enter this place if you have a d*ck atached?!
More like, why is Kagura-chan in charge of this place?!
And why the heck are you all collapsed there together?!
Gintoki: F—For some reason I can kind of understand their pain...
Shinpachi: Don't say it like it's a good thing.
???: Use this.
Shinpachi: Kozenigata-san!
Heiji: If you can't find an entrance, make one of your own.
Gintoki: What, you're telling us to climb this?
Heiji: No worries, man. The queen above me and I...No, we'll pull you up together.

014
Gintoki: ….Did you just say “queen”?
Heiji: The rope might be a little slippery, so tie it around your bodies if you must.
Shinpachi: Um, no. Why is it slippery?
Heiji: If you can, try to tie it in a tortoise shell shape. If you do that, she might give you a show too, yup.
(Sign- Height of S class)
Shinpachi: Say, where exactly are you talking to us from, and what were you doing up until now?
Heiji: Just believe in us....she and I.
Please believe in this filthy piglet!
(Sfx- Paaaan slaap)
Gintoki: Whoa, bro. Thought I heard something like an explosion up there...are you okay?
Heiji: If the rope's been connected, then pull it as hard as you can...but don't go overboard.
(Sfx- Mishiiih Grrnnnd)
Gintoki: Okay, on three.
Shinpachi: Hngh!
(Sfx- Gata gata clatter)
(Sfx-Gashaaaan crasssh)
Heiji: Guraaah!!! So heavy, it huuurts!!
Shinpachi: HEEEEY?! Are you okay up there?! Why does it seem like you're more tied down than we are?! Are you connected to this rope?!
Queen: No need to worry. I won't let go of this pig, he's died down good.
Shinpachi: Whoa, we're not talking about that kind of tied down?! That's more complicated than we'd care to know?
Heiji: My liege, this is no good after all. It's torn off already....and it isn't turning purple.
I was totally hyped to try out the best “Z” course on account the world is ending and all....
Gintoki: HEEEY! What's the Z course?! What got ripped off?!
(Sfx- Paaaan thud)
Heiji: Well I do have two sets of balls, but that doesn't mean we can go crazy with the one that's left.
Gintoki: Uh, just what exactly is this rope connected to?! What kind of set up is this?!
(Sfx- Pan pan pan slap slap slap)
Heiji: Ngh..
Ngh...
Ngh...
Gintoki: I'm hearing “slapping” and “nghing” up there....what's going on?!
Holy crap the enemy is headed this way!!
Say something!!!
(Sfx- Kuwaaaaah roaaaar)
Heiji: Oooiiinkkkk!!
Shinpachi: Something other than oinking!!

015
(Sfx- Gaashhh grab)
Saigou: I hear ya!
(Sfx- Dohhh Thooom)
Saigou: If you want 'em ripped off that bad...
THEN I'LL TEAR 'EM OFF REAAAAAAAAAAL CLEAN.
(Sfx- Goooahhh thooood)
Heiji: OOOOIIIIINK
(Sfx- Dodohhh Thuuud)
Dudes: Wha...

016
Dudes: The hell...
Is this city...
And...
The people in it?!
Dakini: We belittled the citizens protecting their town...
But it seems even without guns even soldiers who cannot fight wars still have backbone.
However tough bones...
And brittle ones...
Are all the same before us.
They will be crushed into dust.

017
Dakini: And of course that includes...
This city of steel too.
(Sfx- DOOOOOON THOOOOM)
(Side text- He strikes with a strong arm!! What is the fate of the final fortress...?!)
GINTAMA LESSON 615.............END.