Gintama 241

>_> Seriously though, Am I going to have to get my own copies of jump to avoid Gintama raws coming out on Monday happening every week? If so....can someone tell me how to go about it?

(Top text- Last time on Gintama, ‘Read at high speed’ The otaku Tosshi set his sights on the top Idol Terakado Tsuu and her official fan club. Obviously Shinpachi the captian of the Terakado Tsuu imperial protection squadron wouldn’t stand for this and so decided to face him in combat. Coincidentally, Tsuu had announced that she would be deciding her ‘official’ fan club on Television, and that the Otaku would have a chance to duke it out for the title. The two men decided to pit themselves against each other in this contest, not knowing just how competitive Otaku in love can be. To add to Shinpachi’s worries however is the fact hat Takachin has just been involved in a car accident rendering him immobile, and setting the goal for this competition even more out of reach. What will happen to our heroes?!)

(Little text on bottom- So loooong!!)

Yamazaki: Huh? What are you doing?

Boss?

GINTAMA

Yamazaki: Don’t tell me you’re in on this fanclub thing too….?

Talk about uncanny~

(Side text- The right page of this magazine contains a Gintama Jump Fiesta 2009 sticker! If you haven’t seen it yet, make sure you check again!!)

{Ya---}

{Yamazakiiiiiii?!}

002

Otaku: Uwaaaah!!!

(Shirt- I love Otsuu)

(Sfx- Dogaaan Bakitsu gotsu *Bam! Biff! Whack!*)

Kagura: Yahooo!! Move! Move! Move! I say you move there!!!

Don’t obstruct my path! For I am Queen!!

(Sfx- Kera kera *Clatter clatter*)

Kagura: Too easy! I will get the prize!

(Sfx- Dotsu *Twhok*)

(Sfx- Meki meki *throb throb*)

???: The buck stops here little missy!

003

Kondo: No one passes me!

I’ve got first place on lock down.

(Side text- The Kondosaipen joins the fray!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 241: When in a cardboard box, one bad apple ruins the bunch.
SORACHI HIDEAKI

Kagura: You are….

Kondo: ORAAAAHHHH!!!!

(Sfx- Dogyuuun *Fwishhhh!!*)

Yamazaki: The chief’s around here some where too I’d say.

Well, it’s not like we had much of a choice…

If the vice captain fails in this, he’ll never be released from his inner otaku.

So we decided to participate in this competition to see if we can’t save him.

Not that we care about Otsuu-chan or anything like that, so don’t go getting the wrong idea.

004

Yamazaki: To be honest, while Otsuu-chan’s cute and all, I don’t get what’s the big deal about being ‘official’ or not. Does it really matter?

I just don’t get it.

{Thi---This is baaaaaaddd!!}

{Of course he’s on Tosshi’s side!!}

{Okita,Yamazaki, the Gorilla, AND Tosshi?!}

{We’re in deep Gin-sannn!! Someone’s bound to check Takachin eventually, and find out he’s out like a light!! Once that happens, we’re through!}

{We’ve got to stall him somehow….}

Gintoki: heh heh, man we’re in trouble then!

Shinpachi: Good luck Y—Yamazaki-san!

Yamazaki: Uh—hold on a sec boss!

How strange, up until now you guys seemed more lively….but now you’re so slow…

Yanno what I think? I think that the guy you’re dragging around is holding you back…and you’re trying to hide that he’s useless aren’t you?

{We can’t spill it to him!! Kagura-chan’s still up ahead, and so we don’t need to worry about losing our lead! What’s important is not letting anyone find out that Takachin’s out like a light! We’ll have to find some water, and hope splashing it on him will wake him up long enough to dash to the goal…..}

005

Television: Taking the lead is a little girl, and one hell of a guy.

They seem to be members of the Tsuusengumi, and the Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron respectively!!

Both competitors are running neck and neck. It’s an amazing spectacle! They’re not allowing each other an inch on this wide track.

With this victory is truly in the air for either team, as there’s no safe bet in this race. They’re coming to a turn…..

….huh?

(Handwritten- Uwaaaaa!!! Oraaaaaah!!)

Television: Um…no that’s the wrong way….

I’m telling you to go back…

How do I say this?! The top two are actually running straight this way!

They’re going in the wrong direction….are they running in their own race or something?!

(Sfx- Dogoo *Thwok*)

Television: They totally ran us down!! They don’t even notice they’re going the wrong way!!

I’m telling you that’s wrong! Go back! Go baaaaaack! I’m begging you!! GO BACK!!!

(Sfx- OOOOOOOOH!! *ORAAAAAH*)

(Sfx- Gohagaaaa *Thoooom*)

006

Television: I’ve never seen anything like this!! They’re going to keep running, even if it’s out of bounds!!!

Heaven and Hell hath no fury like the two of them! Their teams had better do something, or they can consider themselves disqualified!!

(Sfx- Don *Bam*)

(Sfx- Dododododo *tmptmptmptmp*)

Gintoki&Shinpachi: WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?!!?

Shinpachi: Forget it! We have to go and stop them right now!! Even if it means leaving Takachin behind!! They’re bound to cause a scene if we leave them as is!!!

Gintoki: This is the worst!!! Why the hell did those fools have to find each other?! Remind me to never trust them again!

Yamazaki: Boss? Hate to bug you, but you might wanna turn around.

007

Yamazaki: Your buddy’s got a bit of baggage as it were.

Gintoki: NGAAHHH!!!!

(Sfx- Garaga zuru suru * Clatter clatter shsssssshhhh*)

Yamazaki: Is he going to be okay? I mean, an ordinary person would notice that he’s got all that stuff on him….right?

Gintoki: He’s absolutely fine!! In fact, he was talking about going to a stylist for his ‘do’ once he wins this contest!!

Yamazaki: Oh really? Well he’d better be careful, cause I’m sure that stray dogs would love some of those rotten foods attached to him.

They’ve got really good senses of smell too, so once they get a wiff, they’ll be coming for miles.

Gintoki: I’m telling you he’s fine! See, he’s a dog lover….can’t get enough of them! Look they’re playing together!!

(Sfx- Garururu *grrrrwwwlll*)

Yamazaki: You sure about that? I know it’s not my business or anything, but he looks really pale, like a guy at death’s door….

Gintoki: He’s ABSOLUTELY fine!! See, that’s totally not the grim reaper! It’s his dad coming back to cheer him on from the beyond!!

(Sfx- Uoriyaaaaah!! *Gyaaaaah!!*)

Yamazaki: Well that’s cool I guess, though I could swear that I saw an old lady with wings in the area….you know that means someone’s headed ‘upstairs’ if you know what I mean.

Gintoki: You mean his mom! Yeah I heard she was coming down to see him too! Families like that only come once in a lifetime!!

(Handwritten- You can’t have him morons!!!)

(TN- Shinpachi is fighting the Grim Reaper and an Angel from heaven. Seriously everyone, go and send Sorachi a thank you card.)

(Sfx- Buoooo *wifff*)

008

Yamazaki: Boooossss! His trunks totally came off!! Is this guy really feeling okay?! Heyyyy!!!

Gintoki: It’s fine!!! Sometimes he needs to air out down there! Those weren’t pants anyway! They were sun visors!!

Shinpachi: Gin-sannnnn!! This is impossible!! We can’t keep this up!!

At this rate, Takachin’s not only going to lose this contest, but his dignity, and maybe even his life!!!

Dammitall!!!

Gintoki: Dang, Well I guess I have to go ahead and use ‘that’.

Shinpachi!! Leave everything to me!

I’m going to go take Takachin to a hospital right away!

Shinpachi: Gin-sannn!!! You can’t! There isn’t a doctor in the world who can get him back on his feet in time to run again!!

We’re going to lose everything!!

Gintoki: I promise to come back and fix everything!! Just hang on for me Shinpachi!!

Shinpachi: Gin-san!! That’s not a hospital at all!! Where are you taking Takachin!!?

009

Yamazaki: It’s over Shinpachi-kun.

You did your best, but that wasn’t enough.

Well it’s not so bad, you can cheer us on! So how about you give up like a good boy and let the adults do the tough stuff?

Shinpachi: ‘Defeat’ isn’t in my dictionary!! Gin-san promised to come back and I know that he and Takachin will return!!

So until then, I’ll keep running this race and believe in the two of them!!

(Sfx- Datsu *Dash!*)

Yamazaki: Wow! What a guy. Although He should know that the Tsuusengumi’s going to crush hi---

Gintoki: I wouldn’t count us out yet, since it’s not over till it’s over.

Yamazaki: That was fast!!

Gintoki: Sorry for being back quickly then.

Yamazaki: No that’s beside the point!! What did you do? Fly over there?! More like did you abandon that guy or something?

Gintoki: Nope, he made a full recovery at the hospital, and is on his way back.

So there’s no point in counting us out, since it’s not like the race is over yet is there?

Ah, there he is.

Yo! I’m over here!!

Man, you had me worried for a minute there. Glad to have you back though..

010

Gintoki: So how about we go teach these guys a lesson? Although leave the hard work to me okay?

Takatin.

(Sfx- Kucha kucha *huff-puff*)

(Sfx- Pon *pat*)

Yamazaki: WHO THE BLUE HELL IS THAT?!?!?!

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL?! ISN’T THAT A TOTALLY DIFFERENT GUY?! MOREOVER HE’S A FOREIGNER!!!!

Gintoki: What are you going on about? Takatin is Takatin. He was born Takatin, and will die Takatin.

Yamazaki: WHAT PART OF HIM IS REMOTELY SIMILAR TO THE GUY YOU JUST TOOK AWAY?! IN FACT I’D EVEN SAY HE’S A COMPLETE 360 FROM THE ORIGINAL!!

MOROVER WHAT’S A ‘TAKATIN?!’ WHY’S EVERYTHING OTHER THAN THE ‘CHIN’ SOUND SIMILAR TO THE OTHER GUY’S NAME?! IS HE AMERICAN?!

Gintoki: Hey now, don’t go saying things you can’t take back. No matter what Takatin is, I’ve accepted him, and you should do the same. Besides, how could he be American when he’s OBVIOUSLY holding French bread?

Yamazaki: SO AM I SUPPOSED TO ASSUME THAT BECAUSE HE HAS FRENCH BREAD HE’S FRENCH?! YOUR DAMN HEAD NEEDS TO BE REBAKED!! YOU’RE JUST SAYING THIS STUFF TO PISS ME OFF NOW AREN’T YOU?!

011

Gintoki: Well, maybe the treatment changed him a little.

But that’s what it is to be a man you know? Ever changing, making new friends, growing slightly bigger, voice getting deeper…..Little Takachin’s just become big Takatin is all.

Yamazaki: WHAT MEDICAL TREATMENT CHANGES YOU INTO A DIFFERENT PERSON?! MORE LIKE, HE CAN’T EVEN FIT IN HIS SHIRT ANYMORE!!!

Takatin: TIME IS MONEY.

(Sfx- Musha musha *chew chew*)

Gintoki: You’re right about that big guy. Let’s get moving before we lose.

Yamazaki: HE TOTALLY JUST SPOKE ENGLISH!!! THAT OFFICIALLY MAKES HIM A DIFFERENT PERSON!! MOREOVER NOW HE’S EATING HIS FRENCH BREAD!!!

Takatin: For one hour It will cost 1000, and two will cost two thousand. For how long shall I resume being Takatin?

Yamazaki: YOU PAID HIM OFF?! YOU TOTALLY PAID SOME FOREIGNER TO DO THIS!!

Gintoki: Okay, okay…how about this? You work for three to four hours, and get three to four more pieces of French bread.

Yamazaki: YOU CAN’T EVEN AFFORD HIM?! WHO WOULD BE HAPPY EATING HARD FRENCH BREAD AS PAYMENT?! TAKATIN!! DEMAND AT LEAST TWO HUNDRED FROM HIM!!!

Yamazaki: Whatever! I don’t have the time to argue with you about it!! I’m out of here!

I can’t lose the race because I spent my precious time here! See you guys at the goal!!

(Sfx- Supan *Shwok*)

Yamazaki: Owie!!

He hit me!! With French bread!!

Gintoki: Leaving are we? Don’t screw with me.

After saying those things about Takachin, do you think you can go without us saying a word? Huuuh?

012

Announcer guy: Well this competition has had its ups and downs….

Starting with the appearance and disappearance of the two top runners in the race.

Since they’ve completely dropped off our radar….

We instead focus on the otaku who have slowly started to slow down…in their fifth kilometer.

Although it seems now that the Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron have completely lost to the Tsuusengumi.

The former had a strong showing at first, but has shown that even their era must end…as no one from their team seems to have appeared….

Wai---

That’s….

(Sfx- Dododododo *tmptmptmptmp*)

Announcer: Someone travels alone upon the road littered with the sweaty corpses of fallen otaku!!

This is….it can’t be!!

He’s heeeeeere!!!

(Sfx- Dododododdo *Tmptmptmptmp*)

(Sfx- Seha se-ha se-ha *hah hah hah hah*)

Announcer guy: The Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron’s hopes and dreams have been snatched from the fiery pits of hell as a lone member has appeared!!!!

013

Announcer guy: But it’s strange his team members are nowhere to be found!!

It’ll be next to impossible to claim victory on his own….

{As if I’d back down in a place like this!!!}

{I’ll never admit defeat! Not here, not ever!!}

Announcer guy: And he begins to close in the gap with his devil may care attitude!!

Shinpachi: ORAAHHHH!!!

(Sfx- Futsu *fwish!*)

???: First movement…

Basalt.

(Sfx- Zazan!! *s-swif!*)

Announcer guy: Whoa! Thi—this…what is going on!!

014

Announcer guy: The street’s been completely blocked by the other teams!! The Terakado Tsuu imperial protection squadron member can’t get through at all!!!

A human wall poses in front of him!! A mound of smelly otaku flesh takes away his ability to advance one step more!!

What’s going on here!!

Why would the other teams group together to stop the advance of a single person?!

{It can’t be….}

???: Hhehe…

Did you know that these guys, my platoon, and any group of guys are all similar? They need leadership.

Sure it’s a bit different then what I’m used to, but I can still lead these guys with the promise of becoming official.

With a promise like that, even your naiieve advances can’t get through, no matter how earnest.

(Sfx- Zatsu zatsu *swif swif*)

Hijikata: I’ve got 1000 teams versus one team.

Five thousand people versus four.

Come ON. You didn’t really think with the Tsuusengumi at this size that your peon parade could win?

015

Hijikata: This competition was and is now all about otaku and nothing else.

And now these otaku are in the palm of my hand.

{Y---You’ve got to be kiddingggg!!!}

{T—This guy, he got all of these Otaku to join the Tsuusengumi, and by doing that he made them my enemy!!}

{This is unbelievable! Can I really do anything against a group this huge?}

Hijikata: Victory comes from understanding those under you.

Make sense? This competition was from the start all about becoming official.

Put two and two together.

Tosshi only had to promise them that.

Once he did, this whole party became our banquet.

And as for you, you’ve been blocked off.

It’s not a personal thing; you just didn’t want it bad enough it seems.

And you know what they say, ‘no pain no gain.’

(Sfx- Koro *roll*)

016

Announcer guy: And there you have it! The gathered Otaku part as the leader of the Tsuusengumi walks among them!

I don’t know what he talked to the captain of the Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron about, but it seems the two of them have come to an understanding as he walks away!

It’s like watching the parting of the red sea, just that the sea is of otaku!

The Tsuusengumi has snatched victory again!

The Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron…

Can’t make it through the wall of Otaku flab!!

{D---Dammit!!}

{I can’t give up!! I WON’T give up!!}

{I promised Gin-san!!}

{Gin-san won’t let our team down! I just know it!}

{I have to!!}

{There’s no other path for me other than the one of victory!!}

{If I can’t see it now…}

{It only means I have to struggle until it opens up to me! The path of light leading to the goal!!}

017

Announcer guy: The course is closing in on the 7th kilometer! Next up is a bridge!

The goal’s only 3 kilo away now!! Can the Terakado Tsuu imperial protection squadron really pull an upset?!

If they are, they’d better figure it out now, as time is running out….

{I~Found~IT!!!}

Announcer guy: WHOAAAA!! What’s this!!

He’s running on the banister?!

He’s crossing the bridge using the banister! I can’t believe the wily nature of the Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron leader! Undaunted he crosses using this dangerous method!!

(Sfx- Ooooooooooo!!! *Oraaaaaaah!!!*)

Announcer guy: With this, he can gain some head way, and perhaps even catch up!! He seems determined to do just this as he uses the other teams as stepping stools!

018

Announcer guy: They can’t stop him!! No matter how they struggle, he ducks and weaves out of their way!!

(Sfx- Oroooooo!! *Oraaaaaah!!*)

{Just a bit more!}

{I’m almost there!! I can see it!}

Announcer guy: The wall of flab is breaking apart! This boy’s overcoming all of his limits!!

{This is my last chance!!}

{I have to grab it and use it well!!!}

{For my victory!!}

{For everyone’s victory!!}

Gintoki: Nice work Pattsan.

Take it easy now.

And leave it to us.

{Gin-san…Takachi---}

019

Gintoki: All right Takatin, do your thing.

(Sfx- Bankotsu *Tack*)

Otaku: uh….

Who’s that?

(Sfx- Dozun *Kasmash!!*)

Otaku: GYAAAAAaAH!!!!

Announcer guy: The Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron’s ally has completely oblteherated the enemy forces!!

…More like…who IS that?

(Side text- Don’t mess with the god of destruction Takatin!!)

Gintoki: All right!

Takatin: Yeah!

(Sfx- Pan Pan *Pat pat*)

GINTAMA LESSON 241………….END.