Gintama 250

.....Throws translation out to the masses and scurries away before they can ask where the raw came from.

{Hehehe}

{Soon this world will completely fall within the hands of the tapir.}

{There is no longer anything for me to fear, as there is nothing you can do to change this world's fate.}

{It is all over now. You would do well to understand this.}

King: It's not over yet.

Not as long as I the final security program exists.

I won't give up.

As long as I am the leukocyte king, I will stop your conquest of this system, and bring the world back from the brink of destruction.

002

King: I will...

Protect Tama-sama.

???: So you want to destroy me and save the world huh?

Do you really think you have what it takes?

Even if you are the leukocyte king, you can't do it alone, and I doubt a few specks of dust you gathered from the outside world can help you.

I will make you understand.

You cannot and will not defeat me.

That even hoping for anything other than defeat is foolish.

If it's pain you wish for I will grant that however.

I will show you that continuing to fight for this world is meaningless.

For it is your love of this world that will hold you back the most in a battle with me.

003

Shinpachi: Th—Thats...

King: T—This cannot be.....

GINTAMA
(Side text- Dragon quest IX will be out in stores on July 11th!!)

Lesson 250: Idiots lead idiots.

SORACHI HIDEAKI

King: TAMA-SAMAAAAAAAAA!!!

Shinpachi: W—wh---WHY?!?!

Why are you in a place like this Tama-san?! Why are you the demon king?!

King: Y....you scoundrel. Taking the shape of Tama-sama, I won't let you get away with this...

004

King: Do you think cheap parlor tricks will ward off my blade...!!!

(Sfx- Dokan throb)

(Sfx- Bishi bigi zzzt zzzt)

King: Guahhh!!

Shinpachi: Leukocyte king!!!

King: Guh...My body...

It's not listening to me....

(Sfx- gii gii grrnnd grrnd)

King: At this rate...

I won't be able to get closer to her...

(Sfx- Zaaa shffft)

Demon! Tama: I already told you. This world's system is now the property of my forces.

It should be obvious that since my form has taken this shape...

That this world has already fallen into my hands.

005

Demon! Tama: Think about it. Right now the very thing you swear you must protect

Is also the being that you must destroy to advance.
This body that you are so selflessly trying to protect is the sword that I wield to destroy you.

King: Damn....My body won't attack Tama-sama because it's been programmed to protect her....

This is such nonsense......

Demon! Tama: As I said earlier, everything ends here.

In order to save this body you will have to destroy the one you hold dear.

You can't both protect and destroy me can you?

And with that you still believe you can win?

I pity you, having to make such a difficult choice, to protect or to destroy....

Can you look at Tama and say you'll kill her?

Hehehehe.....

(Sfx- AHAHAAHAHAH)

006

Gintoki: ORRAAAAAHHH!!!

(Sfx- dogyaaaaaaa kersmaaack!)

(Sfx- Bikyuuuaaa! Bleaaaaah!)

Demon! Tama: Owowowowie! Hold up! Hold up! Time out!

Wh—Wha?! Wait a second!! Didn't you hear me? Don't you know who you're attacking?

Gintoki: Huuuh? You said you want us to hand over half of the world or something?

Even if I answer yes or no to that question, we still gotta fight right? Lets get this over with.

Demon! Tama: When did we start the story about the Dragon King?!

This man...he totally didn't listen to a word I said!!

007

Gintoki: Can you blame me? The Demon king's usually really freakin' long winded so I tend to skip over parts of the text---

(Sfx- Gotsu smock)

King: WHAT THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!

I won't forgive you if you hurt The Demon tapir king and by extention Tama-sama!!

Shinpachi: BUT IN THE PROCESS OF LECTURING HIM YOU'RE HURTING HER TOO!!!

(Sfx- Gasu gasu griind griind)

Gintoki: What does it matter asshat?! You're in the way dammit!!

King: You're the one who's in the way!!

Shinpachi: ARE YOU TWO ACTUALLY PICKING A FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DEMON KING?!

(Sfx- Dosaaa thudd.)

Demon! Tama: Guh...You fools...I thought you said you wouldn't harm this body for any reason...

What kind of heroes are you? You don't even seem to care about your friend.

Shinpachi: SHOULD THE DEMON KING CARE ABOUT THAT?!

Demon! Tama: I know that you fools are self-absorbed but,

You should take a look at the situation....nothing has changed.

Leukocyte king, Do you remember your father's fate?

Yes, your father the previous king Foltega came to fight against us but seemingly fell to his death.

(Sfx-GAHHHHHHH!!!)

Demon! Tama: However did you know that he survived?

I absorbed him into myself. Right now he is within me enduring torment beyond any comprehension.

King: It cannot be.....you.....

Demon! Tama: Fufu....it is so.

(Sfx- Bachi crackle)

(Sfx- Jiji zzzzht)

008

Father: It has been a while my so---

(Sfx- DOGO SMACK)
King: FATHERRRRRR!!!

Wait a second you morons!! You jumped in too fast!! He's still my dad you know!! At least let me talk to him! Moreover, why the hell did the three of you attack simultaneously?!

(Sfx- Gasu gasu Smack grind)

Kagura: So suddenly it was the father. We were not prepared for this. I am deeply sorry.

Shinpachi: We thought for sure he'd try another trick to deceive us like he did with Tama's face so we jumped in without thinking....

King: Do you think that an apology is going to make up for the fact that I won't have a chance to speak with my father you fools?!

Gintoki: Aw man up already. Having your dad as the final boss is so friggin' clichéd.

(Sfx- Meki meki meki throb throb throb)

(Sfx- Bakiiii craaash)

(Sfx- Gogogoshaaaaaa rnnnnnnnnddssshshh)

Gintoki: Gurgh!

Father: Gugahhh

(Sfx- Dosaaa thump)

009

Father: Crap!! The Connection's been severed!! I have to hurry and recconect!

Shinpachi: An OUTLET?! Why do you have something so common?! Aren't you the ruler of this system?!

King: This is our chance!! While the Demon Tapir king is separated from the system link-up we have a chance of defeating him!!

We've only got one shot so make it good!!!

LET'S DO THIS!!!

(Sfx- Katsu SHEEN)

Father: NOT A CHANCE YOU URCHIN!!

HAHHHHHH!!!

(SFX- DOOOUUUU FWISSSH)

010

(Sfx- Dokaka twhack)

(Sfx- Sushaaaaa sssssssh)

Kagura: Guh!

Father: I've absorbed the highest end of information from this system and have evolved.

THIS is what you get when you decide to buy second hand parts, and a second hand security system!

I'm no longer a simple virus that you can handle...

I'm now a virus beyond the comprehension of mankind....yes...

(Sfx- Meki paki paki throb throb clatter)

(Sfx- Basaa fwissh)

Dark King: I am a GOD.

On a plane of existence far above you miserable humans.

I am now an existence of pure perfection, worthy of your worship.

011

Gintoki: A god?

You sure you don't mean 'god awful' looking?

(Sfx- Gugugu shaake)

Gintoki: You're no better than some rotten bread stuck between rotting teeth washed down with some expired milk, Vikingman.

This ain't where you belong.

Shinpachi: So vacate Tama-san at once!

Kagura: We are her friends! We will not stand for you to dirty her any longer!

Gintoki: Time we did some real defragging on this bastard!! Let's hit it!!

(Sfx- Datsu dash)

Shinpachi: YEAAAH!!

012

Kagura: Huh?

Something is different. I cannot move quickly.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Gintoki: KAGURAAA CHWAAAAN?!

Shinpachi: Wh-wh-wh-why has Kagura-chan turned into a character sprite?!

Gintoki: What the hell?! Don't tell me Kagura's been infected too?!

(Sfx- Pechi pechi rub rub)

Shinpachi: That should be impossible!! Even if we're in a computer system, we're still human by nature! She can't get infected by a virus....

Dark King: Heh. I said it before didn't I?

I am no longer a simple Computer virus.

(Sfx- Gobaaaaa FWOOOOM)

Shinpachi: UAHHHHH!!!

(Sfx- Doon BLAMM)

Gintoki: Shinpachiii!!

013

(Sfx- Begaaaa Thwackkkk*)

(Sfx- Karan tunk)

Gintoki: How ya holdin' up Shinpachi?!

Shinpachi: I think I'm fine----

(Handwritten- minature....)

Shinpachi: AAAAGGH!!!

My feeeeet!!!

Gintoki: Maan...you seem to be okay.

Shinpachi: OVER HERE!! THE REAL ONE IS OVER HEEEEEEREEE!!

014

Shinpachi: My feet!! How come this is happening to me?! Am I a work in progress!!

IF THINGS WERE GONNA BE LIKE THIS HE SHOULD HAVE TRANSFORMED MY WHOLE BODY!!!

Gintoki: Huh? But I don't see any changes....you look the same as usual Guntank.

Shinpachi: WHO'S GUNTANK?!

(Sfx- Piki piki crackle crackle)

Shinpachi: Holy crap!! My body's slowly becoming a sprite!! I can't move Gin-san!!

Kagura: Gi---Gin-chan...

My body is rock solid. I cannot move...

Gintoki: Hang in there Kagura!!!

Kagura: Sa-ve me. Gi---cha---

Gintoki: Kagura!!

Shinpachi: Uaaaaaaah!! Do something Gin-san!!!

Gintoki: Shintank!!

Shinpachi: WHO THE HECK IS SHINTANK?!

(Sfx- Dotsu DOOF)

015

(Sfx- Don bam)

King: What the hell are you standing around for?

You got a death wish?

Gintoki: Guh!!

Kaguraaaa!! Shintankkkk!!

King: It's no use. Once their bodies become sprites, they're essentially useless to us!! Hurry!

It seems that he wasn't just boasting when he said that he had power above any virus.

Now that he's evolved, this problem is beyond anything that we can handle. It's no longer just this system that's in crisis, but all of mankind should he become free.

(Handwritten- Come out come out wherever you are.....)

(Sfx- Basa basa fwap fwap)

Gintoki: Don't screw with me.

Are you telling me that at any time he feels like it, this guy could come into the bathroom and turn my d*ck into a sprite?! What the hell kind of computer virus is that....?!

(Sfx- Cozo cozo russtle russtle)

016

King: It seems that the clock is ticking for you.

Hurry so that your whole body doesn't become eight bit.

Gintoki: WHY THE HEELLLLLLL?! WHY DID I HAVE TO GET INVOLVED AND THERE OF ALL PLACES?!

I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN USING IT LATELY BUT THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE..!!! I'LL KEEL THAT BASTARRRRRD!!!

FIX IT!! FIX MY JU---I MEAN SHINPACHI AND KAGURA!! WE CAN DO THAT RIGHT?!

King: Don't move from there.

I'll figure out something from here on in, and save you and your friends.

Gintoki: Hey...wait.

King: I told you not to move.

If you should end up dying here, who will be the one to protect Tama-sama?

If you should end up dying here...

Who would console Tama as she laments in grief?

017
King: I have no other purpose in my data other than to protect Tama-sama.

(Sfx- Kacha clank)

King: You fools have already done more than enough.

For Tama-sama's sake...

I should be the only sacrifice.

{Boxes- That's why I told you to go home.}

{She as is important to you as she is to me.}

Gintoki: Yanno you talk just like her....

Tama that is.

You think as long as you protect her that you don't have to live.

But she wants you to get out of here alive just like the rest of us.

That's why you gotta hear me out.

I know it isn't like me, or you for that matter since you are my copy but I'm sure you don't want to end it this way.

But to lose yourself protecting someone, or to run away doing nothing...

Both are fates worse than death.

018

Gintoki: Maybe I'm over thinking it too much...

But people tend to overuse what they really care about.

King: I'm simply your copy.

If I'm to die, and you're to live...I can be revived again.

Gintoki: Hey now. I never said I wanted to replace you or anything like that.

You have your place and I don' t intend on taking it.

Just like I have my own place, and I like it very much...so sorry I won't need you to cover for me.

No one can simply be replaced.

Because in this world there's only one of each and every person.

I don't care if your face looks exactly like mine or we were born the same way.

What matters now is that we've got to protect the one that we care about. It doesn't matter if it's you or me...

Or if you're my copy or not.....

We've got to back each other up.

There's no substitution,

for one really good friend.

019

Gintoki: If Tama's really important to you....

Then lets go in there and kick ass like it's our las chance.

And don't start talking about being useful or useless again.

We'll fight the enemy, not each other.

If this is the end of the line, lets make what's left mean something....

Bro.

(Sfx- Zatsu swiff)

King: Let's not drink any of that rotten stuff though okay?

We'll have to drink the water that comes out after six presses of the button....bro.

(Side text- And this time we head to the ending...!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 250.................END.