Sket Dance 68

[TN: You see? I'M translating this series. Like I have been doing since the first goddamn chapter. So thank you so VERY much, random other translating person, for destroying my precious exclusive translation record, because I REALLY appreciate that. When I emphasised in my translator's interview that I was still working on the series, and was going to try to get it out more quickly, and that Sket Dance held a special place in my heart as the one series that I had translated exclusively from the beginning, CLEARLY that was a hint that I wanted other translators to butt in and SCREW THAT ALL UP, and it DEFINITELY wasn't the exact opposite. NOTE: Next chapter will be out SOON. As will the one after that. Et cetera. And if anybody beats me to them, then I may go on a homicidal rampage. Thank you for listening, this has been Frustrated Translator Rant.]

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Sket Dance
Chapter 68: First Character Popularity Contest Results
[Insert text: Early afternoon, with the sunlight filtering through the trees... // Once in a while, we can show our cool sides...!!]

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Nitta: Summer grass / Here lie the strong / Dreams gone by
[TN: This is a famous haiku.]
Nitta: I'm reporting to you from the air above the Tsukinoshima Multipurpose Grounds, the site where the many fierce battles of the Gachinko Vivage Battle were held. // That's right - I'm about to carry out that procedure familiar to any gag manga enthusiast... // ...the announcement of the Character Popularity Contest results! // As we announced in Shonen Jump Issue 42, when we first asked for our submissions, submissions were limited to a single postcard per person, making this a true fierce contest!!
Flashback!Himeko: You're only allowed to send one postcard per person!
Nitta: Despite this rule, we received a massive 8176 submissions!
Author: Huh...? We had a rule like that...? / It would've been more fun if people could mess about...
Editor: Well, this makes things fairer in the end.
[TN: The author's and editor's bubbles are labelled as such.]
Nitta: Who will walk away with the grand prize...?!
[BubbleSFX: thump // thump // thump]
Nitta: And I think we're all interested to see where the star of the show, Bossun, manages to place!!
Himeko: He's been like this all day...
Nitta: I, Nitta, who despite appearing at number 49 on the character listings, managed to receive a grand total of zero votes... // ...tch... // ...will be bringing you the live results today.
Himeko: We could hear that "tch", ya know!!

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Nitta: I have just arrived back at my position in the announcer's box!
People: Then why'd he bother getting in a heli...? // Hurry it up~! // Couldn't you get any other reporters...?
Nitta: I will now proceed to read out the all-important results! // As a large number of characters placed in the rankings, I will only be announcing from 30th place upward!
People: That is a lot...!
Nitta: There's going to be a lot of names, okay~?! // Well, then, let us begin!
Jougasaki: Ahh, I'm gettin' kind of nervous...
Saburou: Yeah, I get the feeling you'll be somewhere around 30th...
Nitta: In 30th place! // With thirty-eight votes... it's Abrasimovich!!
[Box: 30. Abrasimovich]
Jougasaki: Whaaa?!
Nitta: You may know her as the "King" figure of the mysterious game "Hyperion" - it's the First Princess of the Abrasimo Family, Abrasimovich, in at number thirty!!
[Box: 50. Jougasaki]
Jougasaki: Whaaat?! I got slaughtered by that thing?! / Whaaa?!
Nitta: Incidentally, her younger sister and rival for the throne, Abrasimodach, placed 33rd, with thirty-two votes.
Jougasaki: I got totally outranked by these guys as well?!! / Whaaat?!
[Box: Abrasimodach]
[Label: Also placed at 33rd]
[Box: OG-3]
[Box: Tetsu]

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Nitta: Well, then, moving on swiftly...
Himeko: I've got a bad feelin' about this...
Switch: Looks like we're starting off with the one-shot characters.
Nitta: Next up, we have a tie for 28th place! // With 41 votes each! It's Heta-Koita-kun... // ...and Master Huang!!
[Box: 28. Heta-Koita-kun]
[Box: 28. Master Huang]
Himeko: Whoa, whoa, whoa!! // Are they all gonna be like this?!
Nitta: Master Huang, famous for handing down the traditions of such unusual games as Genesis and Hyperion! / And the young student aspiring to be a manga-ka, designed by Roman-sensei, Heta-Koita-kun!!
Himeko: What's with that art?!!
Nitta: Incidentally, Roman-sensei herself, with twenty-two votes, placed at 43rd!
[Box: 43. Roman-sensei]
Roman-sensei: [aside]im - impressive...![/aside]
Nitta: She seems to be in shock from losing to her own student!
Himeko: Man, we're just dealin' with characters that don't even exist an' stuff...
Switch: Well, we do have a penchant for frame stories.
Nitta: Moving on to 27th place! // With forty-three votes, it's the sadistic realist, Magical Swindler Reality☆Maji!!
[Box: 27. Reality☆Maji]
Himeko: Enough already! Bring on the actual characters!!

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Nitta: And placing 26th, with forty-five votes... Otakura-kun!!
[Box: 26. Otakura-kun]
Himeko: He was right there~~~~!!
Nitta: With a repository of otaku knowledge to rival Switch's, this representative of the Akiba-kei shows us what he's made of!
Himeko: This guy kinda pisses me off...
Nitta: And looks down on the competition!!
Otakura: Hm? Hm? How many people are there below me?
Himeko: He really does piss me off!!
Otakura: Ahhh, but to be honest, people like me tend to get insulted a lot, called "gross" and the like, so I wasn't really expecting a huge number of votes...
Nitta: Moving on with the results.
Yagi: The results get rather... unpredictable at this level, don't they.
Himeko: You said it... // Bring on the proper characters!
[Box: 36. Yagi-chan]
Nitta: Next up, we have a three-way tie for 23rd place! // The Demons, Obaa-nyan, and Pelorin!
[Box: Demons // Pelorin // Obaa-nyan]
Himeko: What's wrong with this manga?!!

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Himeko: Seriously, what the hell?! Is this voting really fair?
Nitta: From the revised story of Momotarou, the unlucky demon tribe who were annihilated by the invading army! And the moe heroine of the story, Obaa-nyan!
People: [aside]It's Obaa-nyan~! // Obaa-nya~~n![/aside]
Switch: It's rather unsettling seeing these fictional characters in real life.
Nitta: And the phantom gift doll, whom our heroes managed to win thanks to a ticket picked up by Jougasaki-kun, Pelorin is alongside them at 23rd!
Bossun: ............... // 22nd place next... // I wonder if it'll be me...
Himeko: Bossun!! / That ain't gonna happen! You're not gonna show for a while yet! Pull yourself together!
Nitta: In 22nd place, with forty-nine votes, we have Little Bossun!!
[Box: 22. Little Bossun]
Bossun: Huh?!! // Whaa?! Huh? I've gone all tiny!
Himeko: Aaahhhhh... it's little Bossun again~~!!
Nitta: Thanks to a concoction of Chuuma-sensei's, his body reverted to a younger age... from the chapter "Little Boss Has A Temper", it's Little Bossun!!
Bossun: Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!

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Bossun: What's all this "Little Bossun"?! Don't go around assigning names like that! / Since when was this thing even in the running, anyway?!!
Himeko: Aahhhh, just look at him acting all serious...! / I wanna take him home~!
Bossun: Besides, it's not fair if you count those votes as a separate character! // Little or otherwise, I'm still me, all right?! / So just count those votes under "Bossun", would you?!
Nitta: Request denied. Little Bossun is a separate character.
Bossun: ...The heck is that?!!! / I'm not buying this, okay?! I want a do-over!!
Himeko: What do ya think you're saying, you naughty little boy?!!
Bossun: Whaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~~?!!
Himeko: Honestly, after everyone was nice enough to put in all those votes for ya!! / Ya can't go around makin' demands like that!
Bossun: ..................
Himeko: You really are a hopeless little kid, aren't ya... // Now apologise to everyone!
Bossun: Can we at least count this "Mommy Himeko" as a separate character as well, then?!

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Dodondondodon: Hahahah... / Let the boy have a little spirit! // Children are a national treasure... / To be raised free and strong! // If you do, then one day... // They will surely become proud warriors!
Nitta: In at 21st, with fifty-four votes, it's the armoured warrior, Dodondondodon!!
[Box: 21. Dodondondodon]
Himeko: The heck is THIS guy?!!
Nitta: Ah, but this is merely his character image. Let's just return him to his ordinary game-piece form.
Himeko: What kinda logic is that?! Is this even allowed?!
Nitta: Incidentally, Dodondondodon, who just appeared... / ...outdoing the Abrasimo sisters, is the highest-ranking Hyperion piece in this contest! // Is it the dramatic fantasies he inspires? We received all sorts of comments along the lines of "He radiates manliness", and "A true fount of Hyperism"!
Himeko: I don't know what the hell you're goin' on about!!
Nitta: Now then, we're finally moving on to the top twenty, but we're going to run out of pages at this rate... // ...so we're going to breeze through the next few a little quicker!
Himeko: Why didn't ya do that with the lower ranks?!

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Nitta: In 20th place, with fifty-seven votes, it's the intimidating Handicrafts teacher, J-son-sensei!!
[Box: 20. J-son-sensei]
Nitta: Plenty of readers mentioned that they'd like to see him married sometime over the course of the series!! // In 19th place, with sixty-three votes, we have the surprising entry of Shinba Michiru (lol)!!
[Box: 19. Shinba Michiru]
Michiru: Huh?
Nitta: In 18th place, with sixty-four votes, it's Usui Masafumi (T_T)!!
[Box: 18. Usui Masafumi]
Nitta: In 17th, with sixty-eight votes, it's Shinohara Kenta!!
[Box: Shinohara Kenta - 17th]
Shinohara: Ahhh! It's me...!!
Assistant: Something the matter? Suddenly crying out like that...
Shinohara: Ah... no... // It's nothing... here, could you shade this part for me?
Roman: I can hear a voice from the heavens...!
Himeko: This is really gettin' out of hand...

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Nitta: Moving on... / Tying for 15th place, with seventy-eight votes each, we have the airheaded ojou-sama, Unyuu Mimori...
[Box: 15. Unyuu Mimori]
Nitta: ...and the horror girl, Yuuki Reiko!!
[Box: 15. Yuuki Reiko]
Himeko: That's one crazy kinda duo!
Nitta: With her trim and tidy nature, her airheaded character and her large assets, Unyuu-san has certainly beaten out plenty of contenders! / And as for Yuuki-san, she's earned herself numerous comments from our female readers, such as "I can really sympathise with her", "I really hope things start going better for her", and "She's cute even without make-up!"
Reiko: I suppose it worked, then...
Switch: Excuse me?
Nitta: Next up, in 14th place, we have the unfortunate genius scientist, Chuu-san!!
[Box: 14. Chuu-san]
Chuu: Is there a reason my panel's so small?
Nitta: And in 13th place, with eighty-six votes, it's the Captain!
[Box: 13. Captain]
Himeko: So huge!!
Nitta: Takahashi Chiaki-san, better known as simply "the Captain", took both the title of "Miss Pretty" and that of "Miss Sportswoman" in Class 2-B's Number One Contest! / She's also number one on the list of characters the staff would like to marry!
Himeko: Is she indeed...
Nitta: Perhaps if the deadline for contest submissions had been after the Ogress arc, she would have managed to secure more votes! Hang in there, Captain!
Himeko: What, are you a fan, an' all?!

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Nitta: Moving swiftly onwards, in 12th place, with ninety-one votes... / It's everyone's favourite supporting character, Yabasawa Moe!!
Yabasawa: Awf-some!! ("Awfully awesome", apparently.)
[Box: 12. Yabasawa Moe]
Himeko: Hm? She seems pretty taken aback!
Nitta: And in at 11th, with ninety-seven votes, it's the ponytailed girl with the poison tongue who poked the Principal in the eyes... Daisy!
[Box: 11. Daisy]
Nitta: One of our more masochistic readers commented "She can walk all over me any day!"
Himeko: Has he got a death wish...?!
Nitta: And thanks to that swift pacing, we're already down to the final ten!
Bossun: D... Does that mean I'm... in the top ten?!
Himeko: 'Course you are! You're the main character!
Nitta: But before we move on to those final ten, I'd just like to mention a few of the more interesting entries that ranked below 30th. / Despite the one-entry-per-person rule, it seems that some people were dead-set on just fooling about regardless! So let's see what we have! // In at 66th, the house of cards that Bossun built, the "Bossun Tower", received eleven votes!
Himeko: Eleven?!
Nitta: Down at 75th, we have the fashion statement in which one colour-coordinates the grip and tail of one's Morning Star (one of the tools for playing Genesis) - known as the "One Piece Fairy Tail"!
Himeko: The hell is that?!!

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Nitta: In 80th place, with six votes, we have the "Monsters I Happened To Think Up" (Himeko's sketches of dogs, pigs and sheep)!
Himeko: YOU PUNKS ARE SO DEAD!!
Nitta: In at 81st, with four votes, it's Lethal Crusher Guy!!
[Title: Lethal Grusher GUY]
Himeko: I knew it! I knew someone would write that!
Nitta: And finally, some single-vote entries, all tied at 92nd place. / "The old guy who was defeated by Reality☆Maji"!
Bossun: I don't know how people come up with this stuff...
Himeko: That name's depressing!!
Nitta: "The owner of the restaurant Upstream ran away from without paying (if you'll let me name him, I'd go with 'Jody Kuwabara')" / Here he is - Jody Kuwabara!
Himeko: You're actually lettin' him?!!
Nitta: "Bosu"!
Bosu: Hey there!
Bossun: Dammit, that's me as well!!
Nitta: "Tsukikage-sensei"!
Himeko: Who the heck is that?!!
Nitta: "Girl with the fringe from Chapter 67"!
Bossun: WHO?!
Himeko: Chapter 67 was last week! You're makin' this stuff up!!

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Bossun: *pant* *pant* And I'm done! / Man, that tired me out!
Switch: Himeko-san, Bossun-kun, good job with all those jabs. You can rest now.
Himeko: It kinda pisses me off how you say that!
Nitta: Now then, let's finally move on to the top ten! // We're dealing with fairly large numbers of votes by this point, so I would say these rankings are to be taken more seriously. // Why don't you compare them with your predictions and see how close you were! // Here goes, then... in at number 10, it's Dante-kun!!
[Box: 10. Dante - 143 votes]
Nitta: With 143 votes! // In terms of irritating people, he'll always be number one! Still, his pure heart and his clear talents as the lead singer of his Visual-Kei band, JardiN, have earned him this spot!
Dante: Alluring Angel?
Nitta: Congratulations on taking tenth place! One of our female readers comments, "If you take a good look, isn't he actually quite attractive?" // Moving on to the next couple of entries... in ninth place, with a hundred and fifty-nine votes, it's the Last Samurai, Takemitsu Shinzou!!
Shinzou: All right!
[Box: 9th | 159 votes / Takemitsu Shinzou]
Nitta: And in eighth place, with two hundred and sixty-three votes, we have now up-and-coming young actress Kibitsu Momoka!!
[Box: 8. Momoka - 263 votes]

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Himeko: Good goin', you two!
Nitta: It looks like Shinzou-kun's fierce loyalty to the Sket-dan...
Shinzou: Oh, my... how embarrassing...
Nitta: ...and Momoka-san's loveliness and ever-shifting Cinderella story of success have won them a lot of fans!
Agata: ............... // H... Hey, Tsubaki. / Are you starting to feel a little nervous, perhaps? // Since we haven't been called yet, that means either we're in the top few... or else we're below 30th... // Wait... Tsubaki?!! // Are you all right?!! / You're pulling the same face as Fujisaki!! // For all that you usually put on the tough act, you can be really sensitive sometimes!!
Nitta: Now then... let's see who we have next! / In seventh place... // With three hundred and three votes, the figurehead Student Council President... / It's Agata Soujirou!
Agata: Ah - there we go!
[Box: 7th | 303 votes / Agata Soujirou]

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Nitta: And in sixth place, with three hundred and forty-two votes, it's the hot-blooded Vice-President...
[Box: 6th | 342 votes / Tsubaki Sasuke]
Nitta: Mr. Tactless himself - Tsubaki Sasuke!! // And dear me... just take a look at Tsubaki-kun's face!! / Is he relieved? Or disappointed that he didn't get a little higher? // It looks like these two got an awful lot of the female votes!
Michiru: Hey, don't look so down! Hell, look at me! I got stuck with nineteenth!
[Box: 81. The Shinbals]
Nitta: Now, then~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!! We're finally into the top five!! / People have been saying they'd like him to place at least fifth... what position will our protagonist, Bossun, finally take?!!
Bossun: Fifth... Fifth would be okay...
Himeko: Can ya not say that kind of thing?!! / Just look at the poor guy!
Nitta: Well, then, shall we begin?! In fifth place!! // With three hundred and forty-six votes! // It's Switch!!
Switch: !!
Himeko: Huh?!

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Nitta: ...'s Bossun!!
Bossun: Whaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?!! // Whaaaaaat?!! / It's a picture!! // That's a picture that Switch drew of me!!
Nitta: Who could have expected it?! A simple drawing has managed to beat off the competition and place in the top five~~~!! // If I remember correctly, this caricature made its debut at the farewell party when it looked like Bossun was going to be forced to leave the Sket-dan! // It then made further appearances in Enigman's quiz battle and when Switch was competing with Roman-san! / More recently, it made an appearance on the cheery message fired from the Cheer-Up Bazooka when it was stuffed into the Knaprill's mouth...
Himeko: Enough already! We get it!
Nitta: Many of the readers who voted for Switch's Bossun wrote in with comments along the lines of "Switch's feelings, Bossun's cuteness, and Himeko squeeing over the picture... it's as through it represents the whole Sket-dan in a single image." // Thank you all very much. / It's the ever-popular Switch's Bossun!
Tsubaki: I was beaten... / [aside]by a picture...[/aside]
Nitta: Now, then! There are only four places to go!!
Bossun: *pant* // *pant* // *pant*
Himeko: Aww, crap. / He's goin' totally pale...
Nitta: Here we go, then... in at fourth! // With three hundred and sixty-one votes...

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Nitta: It's the unstoppable romantic! / Saotome Roman!!
[Box: 4. Saotome Roman - 361 votes]
Nitta: That's right, folks - it's Roman-chan! / There were murmurings that she might have a shot at the prized top spot, but it looks like in the end she's settled with...
Roman: Thank you, everyone!☆
Nitta: Wait... could you stop that?! Stop sitting on top of the SFX! // "Cutely irritating" was the most common description of her, but we also had more sympathetic and positive comments such as "she's always the optimist", and "a real hard worker".
Himeko: Okay, okay, no writing words in the air, all right?!
[TN: She's written "thank you" ("sankyuu") in the air, except the "sa" is backwards, so it actually reads "chinkyuu"... render that how you wish =p]
Himeko: An' you've written it wrong, too!
Nitta: Now! // Now...! Now...! // It's just the top three left!! And what a top three this is sure to be! All three of the Sket-dan members have yet to make an appearance in the rankings!!!
Bossun: The top thirty... // I just want to be in the top thirty...
Himeko: Bossun! We're down to the top three already!
Nitta: Come tears, come laughter, there are just three names left to call out! I'll read them out one after another! // So here goes - the big finale!!!

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Nitta: In third place, with eight hundred and thirty-four votes... Himeko!
[Box: 3. Himeko - 834 votes]
Nitta: In second, with one thousand, two hundred and thirteen votes... Switch!
[Box: 2. Switch - 1213 votes]
Nitta: And right out in top, with a massive two thousand and three votes... // It's BOSSUN!!!!
[Box: 1. Bossun - 2003 votes]

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Himeko: Bossun...
Bossun: ...............!! // ...aahh... / I... / I did it... // I did it...! // WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! // WAAAAAHHHHH~~~~!!
People: All right~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!! // Waaaahhhhhhh! / Who's there? S... Somebody hold me...!
Himeko: I'm right here, Bossun!
Nitta: So there you have it! The grand prize in the first Sket Dance Character Popularity Contest...
Bossun: Waaaahhhhhh! I was so scared~~~!
Nitta: ...goes to the main character, Fujisaki Yuusuke-kun, better known as Bossun!!

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Nitta: In the end, it seems the Sket Dance members themselves accounted for almost half of the total votes! // And in addition to his magnificent showing of over two thousand votes, / we also received a number of comments regarding Bossun-kun! Certainly, there were sympathy comments such as "We've got to make sure he gets first place, or he'll get all depressed," but there were also many comments more fitting of a main character, such as "He's kind", "He cares about his friends", "He's cool" and the like. // Let's take a look at some of the submissions in detail! "Bossun may be pretty plain, servile, and mentally weak, but he's great at drawing, has a funny face, and is really kind, so I love him anyway!" / "I like the way he's always thinking about what he can do to help, supporting people when they've lost their own sense of self-worth." Everybody... *sniff* ...thank you so much for your kind submissions!
Himeko: Ah, crap...! // Why does a stupid popularity contest have to be such a damn tear-jerker?!
Bossun: I really did it...!
Himeko: You sure did.
Bossun: You were in second, huh, Switch? I'm real sorry...
Switch: Oh, no... // Truth is, I voted for you as well! #^o^#
Bossun: SWIIIITCH~!!!
Nitta: Well, then, Bossun... if you would come up to the front! // I'm sure we'd all like to hear a few words from Bossun-kun, our shining star in first place!

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Bossun: Aahhhh... ahhhh...... / I'm... only standing here... because of all of you guys... // I guess... I tried my best... and just... I...... // I... just...... // ...............
Himeko: Aw, I can't take this any more!! C'mon, everybody grab him!!
Shinzou: Bravo!!
[Text: First Character Popularity Contest / First Place: Fujisaki Yuusuke (Bossun)]
People: Heave-HO!!
Bossun: Too high!
[Text: Thank you, everyone, for all your submissions!!]
[Insert text: Good for you, Bossun... good for you!]