Sket Dance 73

Dear Lord, I don't think I've ever translated so much Sket Dance in such a short space of time. And just so you know, it nearly killed me, but at least I did it (which is more than I thought I was going to manage), so I guess you could say one good thing came out of a certain bunch of evil assholes coming out of nowhere and trying to steal my series in a surprise attack of unprecedented bastardliness. Don't bother thinking this takes them off my death list, because they're still on there until every trace of those goddamn scanlations is wiped clean off the internet, but if they would stop releasing the series RIGHT NOW, then that would at least be a nice start ^^

Now, without further ado, I present translation number two of my fifteen-Sket-Dance-translations-in-about-three-days marathon.

Guidelines For Using My Translations

1
[Insert text: For once we're seeing the gang in lessons... but...?!]
Remi: And so, whilst the various states battled furiously around him... // ...one man chose to aim higher - to aim for true supremacy. And that man's name was... // ...that's right... / Oda Nobunari, hero of the ice.
[TN: luls. I think the name she was actually looking for is Oda Nobunaga, famous historical conqueror, rather than his descendant Oda Nobunari, master figure skater ~~]
Remi: The year, 1560. Imagawa-yaki, said to be the greatest archer in all the East, led his army of daifuku on the attack.
[TN: It's actually Imagawa Yoshimoto, not Imagawa-yaki, which is a kind of cake. Not entirely sure where this army of "daifuku" (another confection) came from; could be a play on the alternate meaning of "daifuku" ("great fortune")]
Remi: Though greatly outnumbered, Oda Yuuji chose his moment carefully and led his forces in a sudden attack in the rain!
[TN: Getting further and further away from Oda Nobunaga... Oda Yuuji is a Japanese actor.]
Remi: This surprise plum attack was wildly successful!
[TN: Er, I think the plum is a pun on "kishuu" meaning surprise attack, and "kishuu-ume", a type of plum.]
Remi: And thus... // ...they were able to drive back the enemy!

2
Remi: This battle is known as the "Showdown of OK-Hazama"!
Students: YOU'VE GOT IT COMPLETELY WRONG!!
[TN: It's actually the Battle of Okehazama.]
[Sket Dance]
[Chapter 73: Onee-san Doing Her Best!]
Bossun: Come on... misreading stuff is one thing, but this is on a totally different level, you know?
Remi: I'm sorry... I'm just such a screw-up, I misread things so easily...
Himeko: Like he said, this ain't even on the same level as "misreadin' stuff"!!
Remi: But I'm not going to let a little mistake get me down! // Itadakima~~~su!!

3
Bossun: Okay, it's the rice today! // Everybody, could you lend us some rice?!
Switch: Everybody! I need your rice and I need it now!
Himeko: Oh, for the love of...!
Remi: No! No! Don't worry! / As long as I have my side dishes, I can eat all the rice I want!
Himeko: ...I think that was the point...
Remi: *cough* *cough*...!
Bossun: Himeko! Water, stat!!
Remi: I really am... // ...hopeless, aren't I...
Bossun: ............... / ...Well... yeah... you kind of are...
Himeko: I can't help thinkin' of your poor brother, stuck with two boxes of rice...
Remi: I've been like this as long as I can remember... // I've always loved History, and I finally managed to become a teacher like I always wanted, but I'm just causing trouble for everyone... / Even I can tell I'm not cut out for this...

4
Bossun: But you know, I actually really like Remi-oneesan's lessons... / Sure, they make you want to butt in with a comeback every other sentence, but they do kind of draw you in... / You know?
Himeko: Yeah. / I never can stop listenin', though Lord knows why.
Remi: R... // Really?
Bossun: Yeah. / I mean, the way you read the textbooks is great...
Remi: Really?
Bossun: ...even if you do get it all wrong.
Himeko: Your handwriting's great, an' all, real pretty an' easy to read.
Remi: Really?
Himeko: ...even if ya do get it all wrong.
Switch: And you're popular with the students, as well.
Remi: Really?
Switch: ...the male otaku, anyway. lol
Remi: That's so wonderful!
Bossun: Yeah! You're a real enthusiastic teacher!
Himeko: Yeah, so don't get yourself down!
Remi: Thank you for the food~~~~!!
[SFX: gulp gulp gulp]
Bossun: Onee-san - that's my tea you're drinking!!

5
Girl: Ahh!!
Remi: Oh - I'm so sorry!!
Girl: Agh!!
Yabasawa: Oh, really! This is awful! You don't have to help out with the cleaning, Onee-san!
Remi: ............... // O... Okay, then... // I'll just go and change the water for the flowers, then!
Himeko: That's your bag you've got there!!
Yabasawa: How do you make a mistake like that?! It's just awful!
Bossun: Hm? // Hey, Remi-oneesan... that doll you've got hanging from your bag, isn't that from the TV show you used to work on?
Remi: Oh... / This?

6
Remi: That's right! I'm surprised you know! / This is a character from the puppet segment that appears in the show... // "Spectre".
Bossun: "Spectre"? ...That's what he's called?
Remi: The think about Spectre is that he just loves terrible puns.
Himeko: Uh-huh. / Well... if you say so. // He's got a nasty kinda face, though, ain't he... / I mean, he's scary! Doesn't he make the kids cry?
Remi: Spectre is a ghost, you see... for certain reasons, he ended up doomed to wander this world. / As for what those reasons are... well, you shouldn't ask...
Bossun: Right... / Yexh... I don't think we need to know all that.
Himeko: You really like this guy, then?
Remi: Well, yes... truth is, this is a special doll I was given as a present when I left the show. // It was tough sometimes, but those were really great times... // So this doll, you see... // ...is a very precious memento of mine. // A~nyway! No use getting all sentimental! / We've got cleaning to do!
Bossun/Himeko: GAAAAAHHHHHH!!! // SPECTRE~~~~~~~!!!

7
Bossun: Onee-san!! / Look!! Look what you're holding!!
Himeko: She ain't even noticed?!!
Remi: Hm? // The thing that I'm holding? ......Oh... // Don't you know? // This little thing... // ...is called a "board eraser"!
Bossun/Himeko: SPECTRE~~~~~~~~~~~!!!
Remi: You know, back in my mother's day... // We didn't even have handy little cleaning machines like this! // So what we did... / ...was open up the window... // ...and take a pole or a ruler or something...

8
Remi: ...and beat that eraser as hard as we could!
Bossun/Himeko: SPECTRE~~~~~~~~~!!! // SPECTRE~~~~~~~~!!!
Bossun: Look what you're doing, onee-san!! That's a precious memento, isn't it?!
Remi: Ahh!! // Don't come at me like that! I'm a teacher, you know!
Himeko: Freakin' notice it already!!!
Bossun: Unghh!!!
Hiraizumi: I'm sorry~! Could you get that ball for me~?!
Bossun: How do you manage to throw it through a third-floor window?!!
Remi: All right! I'll just throw it to you!
Bossun: Agh! / Wait!
Remi: Here goes~~~~~!
Bossun: Don't throw it... / Don't throw it...!

9
Remi: There!
Bossun/Himeko: SPECTRE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!
Remi: Ahhh! My precious Spectre...!!
Bossun: Oh, sure, NOW you notice! // Hey! Sorry for the trouble, but could you just get that doll for us?
Hiraizumi: Doll? // You mean that?
Bossun/Himeko: SPECTRE~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!
Bossun: ...............

10
Bossun: Ugh, where did that stupid dog run off to...? // Helloo~~? Spectre~~?
Himeko: Why so down, Onee-san?
Remi: ......... // I think I'm really not... / ...cut out to be a teacher after all.
Himeko: Ah, c'mon. / Don't start that again.
Remi: But look...!

11
Remi: My lessons are complete failures... // I'm always causing trouble for the students... // I can't even seem to earn much trust from the other teachers... // ...and I lost my Spectre...
Bossun: ............... // Oh, don't be so stupid! // If you're not cut for being a teacher, then what are you cut out for? / There aren't any jobs out there where "clumsy" works as a qualification, you know! // Have you forgotten what Chuu-san said? / It's your strong points that really matter. // Just focus on those, and you'll be fine.
Remi: ...But do I really... // ...even have any...?
Kids: Waaaahhhhh! // Aaahhhhh! // Sense~~~~i!
Bossun: What's that?

12
Suemasu: Owwwww... Ahh, I'm so very so~~~rry, little ones...
Bossun: Hm? Isn't that Suemasu-sensei from Masurao Kindergarten? / What's the matter?!
Suemasu: Oh? Why, if it isn't the Sket-dan! // Thank you again for that cha~~~rming puppet show you put on for us before! / And I must apologise for my brother, sexually harassing poor Kibitsu-sa~~n...
Bossun: No, no, forget all that!
Himeko: What's wrong with your legs?!
Suemasu: Well, it's a little emba~rrassing, but... / I was playing with the children in this park, you see... but I got a little too involved, and I seem to have sprai~~ned my leg a little... // Ahhh... // So a~~s yo~~u can se~~e, I'm i~~n a predi~~came~~~nt...
Bossun: ...Say what?
Switch: "As you can see, I'm in a predicament", I believe.
Himeko: She's really gettin' kinda stressed out, huh...

13
Suemasu: But forget about me! It's the children that I'm worried about... they've all started panicking!
Bossun: You're right... this doesn't look too good!
Kids: Waaaaahhhhh! // Sense~~~~i! // Hey, mister... is Sensei going to die?!
Bossun: Of course she's not gonna die! / Don't you worry yourselves! / Yeah?!
Kids: We won't be able to get back to kindergarten...!
Himeko: D'you think we should get an ambulance over here?!
Switch: I think calling another teacher over should take priority.
Suemasu: Well, I wou~~ld... but I've go~~ne and le~~ft my mo~~bile pho~~~ne back at the ki~~nderga~~rten...!
Bossun: Man, that does suck! / Here, look, you can use mine and...
Kids: Waaaaahhh! Mister~~~~~!!
Bossun: H... Hey, guys! You're in the way! // Ahh, man! How are we meant to call anyone like this?!!
Suemasu: E... E~~veryone! I'm go~~ing to be ju~~~st fi~ne! Calm do~~wn!
Himeko: Hey... hey, stop! Ya can't go leavin' the park on your own!
Remi: Bossun...
Bossun: Yeah?
Remi: Leave this to me.

14
Bossun: !!!
Himeko: ...Wha...?!!!
Bossun: What are you playing at, Onee-san?!! Taking your tights off like that...!!
Switch: I see... so you're into that, are you?
Himeko: Ahhh, crap... I can't handle this any more!!
Sna-kun: Hey, hey, Remi-oneesan!
Remi: Hm? // Why, what is it, Sna-kun? // If it's snacks you want, you just had some, remember?

15
Sna-kun: What's with all these crying kiddies all over the place? / Is somethin' wrong?
Remi: Oh, well, you see... it looks like their teacher had a little fall and hurt herself!
Sna-kun: Maaan... that does sound pretty nasty. // I guess I'll just have to eat up all those nasty ouchies, then. / Munch munch, munch munch...
Suemasu: Oh, my...
Sna-kun: Howzat, Teach? Still hurt?
Suemasu: N... No, not at all! It feels much better!
Remi: Bossun... take this opportunity to contact the kindergarten, would you?
Bossun: R... Right!
Sna-kun: Ughhhh... I ate too many ouchies, and now I'm hurting all over...
[SFX: hahaha!]
Bossun: Hahah... man, she's something.

16
Remi: Now, then~~~~~~~~~~~!! Everybody gather round~~!! // Everybody gather round Onee-san, okay~~~~~~~~~~~?!! // That's right... I want you to all get in a bi~~g circle! // A bi~~~g circle! // Very good! Now then, see if you can clap your hands the same as me. Ready...?
[SFX: clap clap clap-clap-clap clap clap-clap-clap]
Remi: Now you try!
[SFX: clap clap clap-clap-clap clap clap-clap-clap]
[SFX: clap-clap]
Kid: I messed up...

17
Suemasu: I'm so~~ sorry for all the trou~~~ble... // If you don't mind my asking... you're Remi-onee~~san from "And Mother As We~ll?", aren't you? / To think that I'd run into you in a place like this! // Could I perhaps shake your hand? / Wh... Why, I wish we had somebody like you at Masurao Ki~ndergarten!
Remi: Oh, no...
Kid: Onee-san... are you going away?

18
Kids: Here, Onee-san... take this!
Remi: Oh, my!
Kids: And this! / It's an acorn!
AdorableLittleGirl: Onee-san... / I found this! // You can have it!
Remi: Oh? / What's this...? // Spectre... // Thank you very much! / You just made Onee-san very happy!
AdorableLittleGirl: Really~?
Remi: Really! // So happy I could cry...

19
Himeko: Now, whoever said you were no good? You were a real pro back there!
Remi: Oh, no... I'm just used to it, that's all... / It's no use when I'm working with high-schoolers...
Bossun: No, that's a real strong point you have. I think you have a talent for holding people's attention! // There are plenty of people out there who would give anything for a talent like yours. // All the popularity that you've got yourself... that's something you earned.
Remi: ............... // You guys... // ...you're always helping me out, aren't you... // All right! // I'm not going to keep worrying any more! // I feel ready for anything!! / Thank you, everyone! // I'm going... // ...to do my best!
Bossun/Himeko: SPECTRE~~!!!
[Insert text: Oh, it had to happen!☆]