Sket Dance 11

1
Sket Dance
Chapter 11: Awful Snow White
[TN: The chapter title is a pun... The Japanese name for Snow White is "Shirayuki-hime" (literally, "Princess White Snow"). The chapter title is "YABAyuki-hime", (literally, "Princess Awful Snow", but obviously it sounds much closer :p) The "YABA" = "awful" is, of course, Yabasawa-san's annoying catchphrase.]
[box:]
Last Time's Awful Events
[TN: It's another "YABA" pun. This time, they've turned "arasuji" (recap/summary) into "YABAsuji".]
So, like, if you wanna know just how totally AWFUL it all was, I'd say, like, 2000 awfuls, maybe? / Basically, the, Sket-dan got, like, closed down by the Student Council, you know... / But then Bossun and the Vice-President, Tsubaki-kun, they had this verbal battle, and it was totally awful... / And in the end, they decided to have a battle to to my request, to put on a show for the kindergarten children...! / But Bossun's, like, so totally clueless maybe it's more like 2200 awfuls...
Bubble: What are you even talking about?!!
[/Box]
[insert text: The birth of a magnificent star...?!!]

2
Bossun: Right, so we've got to put something good together here, even if we have to just scrape together a cast out of our own acquaintances! // The real issue is going to be sorting out the costumes and scenery. / It's gotta be good, or the Student Council will wipe the floor with us!
Himeko: But how are we going to pull that off? We don't have the money to rent costumes or anything...! // And we can't just make amateur costumes ourselves, they'd look terrible!
Switch: Time for "That's Our Switch!!" Corner~~~~☆

3
Bossun: ............... // What's with you acting all calm?! / This is a serious meeting, all right?!!!
Himeko: Like anybody is gonna remember a "Corner" like that! / Gawd, can't you at least pay attention?! I just wanna hit ya!!!
Switch: Making full use of my information network, my investigations have uncovered that a certain amateur theatre group recently disbanded. All the necessary equipment for performing "Snow White" is still laid out in their storehouse. // I sent them an email informing them of our current situation, and they have responded saying that we are entirely free to make use of whatever we need.
Bossun/Himeko: Ahhhh... // THAT'S OUR SWITCH!!!
Bossun: I just want to hug you!!! / I beg of you, bestow your loving embrace upon my undeserving person!!
Switch: Are you sure?
Himeko: I'm stayin' out of this. / Totally not gettin' involved.

4
[sign: Student Council Executive Office]
Tsubaki: Peter Pan?
Masaya: It's the most suitable for children out of the musicals we think we should be able to prepare. / And when we put on the show at last year's school festival, I was extremely well-recieved in the leading role, eheheh...
Tsubaki: Hmmm...
Masaya: If we make the direction more flashy, and make a big thing of the heroics, I'm sure the kids will love it!
[box: Theatre Club Chief: Kitaooji Masaya]
Tsubaki: I see. All right, we'll go with that. / I'll be overseeing the whole thing, all right?
Masaya: I don't think that should be a problem. // By the way, er... in the event that we win you this "battle" of yours......... // You'll be increasing our club's budget, right?
Tsubaki: But of course.

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Tsubaki: All right, Unyuu?
Mimori: Yes!
Masaya: (Heheheh... our Student Council is crazy when it comes to managing finance. // If I play this right, we should be able to get ourselves a ton of cash...)
Tsubaki: And we'll need a complete overhaul of the lighting systems.
Mimori: Yes!
Masaya: Huh?
Tsubaki: And don't forget we have to install a levitation system.
Mimori: Yes!
Masaya: Levitation?! // Huh? You don't mean... using wires and stuff, to fly?
Tsubaki: We're talking about Peter Pan. Of course there will be wires.
Masaya: No way... I mean, we're just putting on a show for kids...
Tsubaki: If we do not win this battle, then the entire effort is meaningless!!
Masaya: O - okay...

6
Bossun: Right, so we've got this room booked out for a week. // We've got all the costumes and stuff that we need... // ...so all that's left is to rehearse like hell.
Himeko: By the way... if we're puttin' on Snow White, aren't we gonna need more people than this?
Bossun: Heheh... don't worry! I've got everything sorted!
Shinzou: My deepest apologies for the wait!
Himeko: Who the hell's this?!!!
Shinzou: H - how rude!! It is I, Shinzou!
[box: Introduced in Chapter 4, Takemitsu Shinzou]
Himeko: The hell are you doin' wearin' a uniform?!! I though you were meant to be a samurai!!
Shinzou: Ah, well... hahahah... there are complicated reasons...
Bossun: Hm... guess he's not as into all that as we thought...
Himeko: Hm? Who is it this time?

7
Himeko: Aaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Reiko: It's coming!!! It's here right now!!!
Bossun: What the...?!
Himeko: She's too damn scary!!! Why did you call her?!!
[box: Introduced in Chapter 3, Yuuki Reiko]
Bossun: Well, I just thought she'd be perfect in the role of the witch...
Reiko: It is no mere "role"! / In truth, I am descended from real witches! You should look it up, Switch-kun!
Himeko: Seems to be tryin' not to go near her...
Bossun: I guess he's really "paying attention" in his own sort of way...
Himeko: All right!! If that's everybody, we should get on with the rehearsal!! // Which is the Snow White outfit?!!
Bossun: Whoa, whoa... you're not going to be playing Snow White.
Himeko: Huh?! Really?! / You've got someone else coming?

8
[TN: YAAAAAAAAAAY! (I <3 Roman)]
Somebody: She's heeeeeeere!!!!
Roman: I have arrived as per your invitation.
[box: Introduced in Chapter 7, Saotome Roman]
Himeko: Roman-chan...?!! // Well... I mean, I guess she does have the right sort of... / No! She's too damn dangerous!!
Bossun: I've decided to bet on Roman's sense of femininity, romance, and fairytale beauty! / Don't let me down!
Roman: That... makes me so happy, my prince!! // (Truly...)
Himeko: Uhh... / Whatever... you're just wearin' me out...
Bossun: Right! / Now we should have all the actors assembled! // I'll be dealing with the directing, so everybody needs to do as I say!

9
Bossun: Momoka, you'll be handling the narration.
Momoka: Huh?! / I'm doing this too?! / But why?
Bossun: "Why"? Because you have a great voice, of course! / Here, have a script.
Momoka: I - I won't do it unless Nee-san tells me to!!
Himeko: Do it, then.
Bossun: Now, let's make this snappy! We have a lot of people here, so we've gotta make sure we don't get too held up! // Right, first things first... Roman!! We're going from Snow White's first appearance! / Don't worry too much about getting your lines totally accurate, the important thing is that you get in character!!
Roman: Roger that!
Himeko: Huh, Bossun's really kinda cool when he gets into this!
Bossun: Right, so, Act 1! / Let's give this some real energy, everyone! // And... go!!
Momoka: Once upon a time, in a certain castle, there lived an incredibly beautiful princess.

10
Roman: My name is Snow White!
Bossun: CUUUUUUUUT!!! // Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute!! / There are just too many things I could butt in and say here!! // First of all, could you hold back on the whole fluffy-sparkly atmosphere a little?! / It makes me completely lose track of what I'm meant to be doing!
Roman: I - I'm very sorry.
Bossun: And another thing... I kinda thought I saw some really incredible scenery just now... [aside]A castle, and stuff...[/aside]
Roman: Ah, yes, I did that.
Bossun: You did?!
Himeko: Yeah, like we can just be satisfied by an explanation like that!!
Bossun: Maaaan... today is really wearing me out, it's just one thing after another!! / Next scene!! Enter the stepmother queen... go for it, Himeko!!!
Himeko: All right!!

11
Himeko: Mirror, Mirror, on the wall...
Bossun: Ahh! I like that, Himeko! I knew it was a good idea to make you the queen!
Himeko: Who is the fairest... / ...of them all...?
Switch: That would be me.
Bossun: CUUUUUUUT!!! // Could you please NOT screw around?!! / I'm sorry, but today I just don't have time to deal with your little games, okay?!! // Just take a look over there, right?!! / I have enough to deal with already, right?!!
Himeko: Aw, this is useless. It's just turnin' into a pattern, we can't go on like this...
Bossun: Next scene!! / Enter the hunter!! Where have you got to, Shinzou?!!

12
Shinzou: My deepest apologies for the wait. // Behold!!!
Bossun: Okay, CUUUUUUUUT!!! // The hell do you mean, "behold"?!!! What's with all that armour?!!
Shinzou: Ah, well... this is a suit of armour that has been passed down through the Takemitsu clan for generations -
Bossun: Like the hunter would wear getup like that!! The only part you've got right is the arrows!! // We've got all the costumes set up right here, so try wearing those!! // Can all of you stop just doing your own thing?!! / All right?!!!
Himeko: He's just stating the obvious, but he looks kinda cool...
Shinzou: My deepest apologies for the wait.
Bossun: Ah! That's much more like it!
Himeko: ...This guy really isn't a samurai at all, is he...
Bossun: Right, so the hunter helps Snow White escape through the forest!
Shinzou: The lady hath given me the task of murdering thee, fair Princess, but I cannot bring myself to commit such an offense! / Swiftly, be off!
[TN: Basically, he's talking in classical samurai-speak. Pretty much like he always does, but if anything, more blatant. As always, it's a pain to get across in translation.]
Bossun: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm... / Well, it's kinda weird, but, ah, it'll do!!!

13
Bossun: Right, next are the Seven Dwarves. // We're going to be using dolls for the dwarves. // Two of them are hand puppets, one on each hand... / And the other five are set up so that one person can operate them all at once. // So whoever's not onstage at the time gets to operate these.
Momoka: And so, the Queen created a poisonous apple, and appeared before Snow White under the guise of a pedlar...
Reiko: Young girl... // You may have this apple, if you so desire... // So deeply red... / Such glowing skin... // So beautifully plump...

14
Reiko: Just like your own pretty little lips!!
Bossun: C - CUUUUUUUUUT!!! // You're great!!! / There's nothing wrong with your performance at all!!! // But it's so scary!!!! // You'll make the kindergarteners start crying!!! / Okay?! We can see you're an incredible actress, so could you tone it down a bit?!
Reiko: But I went through the script meticulously so that...
Bossun: That's great!!! It's great that you put in all that effort!! But tone it down, okay?!
Roman: (Such a terrifying girl...!)
Himeko: Look, we're all just doing what we can - !
Bossun: Yeah, whatever!! This isn't going to work if I have to keep butting in to correct every single scene!!! // All right! So let's go from the part where the princess comes back to life!!
Reiko: You can leave that part to me...
Bossun: No, no!! / We don't need any black magic or anything, okay?!

15
Bossun: And as per Roman's heavy recommendation, I'll be taking the role of the Prince!
Himeko: No, no, for the Prince, I say Switch'd be a way better choice. // He's good-lookin' and stuff.
Bossun: Wha - ?! / That's not very... is the face really that important?! // Huh?!! / He took off his glasses? // What exactly are you trying to prove?!!! // And, I mean, you can't even talk, can you?!!! / So you've just gotta stay backstage...
Himeko: We can dub him, you know? You can do the voice, and he can do the lip-sync in real time!
Bossun: Yeah, like he could pull something like that off just like that...
Himeko: No, no, I bet with the two of ya workin' together it'll work great! / Give it a shot!
Bossun: Ahh, what a beautiful princess!
Himeko: IT'S PERFECT!!!

16
Bossun: Ehhh?! So, I'm what, stuck backstage the whole time?! / Just operating the dwarves and doing the prince's voice?!
Himeko: That's just how it's gotta be.
Masaya: (These guys... for some reason they're better at this than we are...)
Bossun: Just two more days until the big performance, huh...?
Himeko: Mmm... the whole thing's really startin' to pull together.
Bossun: Right, today we're going to run through as though it was the real thing!

17
Bossun: !! // Wh... what the hell?!!! // The... the costumes are torn to pieces... // And the scenery... // Everything...! // Who would do something like this...?!!
Masaya: Heh heh heh...

18
Masaya: And so now, there's no way we could possibly lose! / Heheheh!
Tsubaki: ...I see.
Masaya: Guaaaahh!!!
Tsubaki: Know shame, you fool.

19
Tsubaki: The plan was never to resort to such underhanded means to win!!!
Bossun: What should we do...?!!
[insert text: A foul scheme makes all hopes of victory seem useless!! At this rate, will the Sket-dan truly be... dissolved?!]