Sket Dance 18

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Sket Dance
Chapter 18: Nusutto Dance: Chapter of the Falcon
[TN: "Nusutto" = "thief"]
[insert text: Not cosplay, but actual ninjas?! This week, it's a "Sket Ninja Legend"!!]

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[Text: This may be a rather sudden shift, but... // The setting is the Edo period.]

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Himeko: Bossun. // Where are we to rendezvous with the ronin?
Bossun: Don't worry. / It's just up ahead. // ...ttebayo.
[TN: That's a reference to... well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you ~_~]
Himeko: Huh?! What the hell's that?! You just stuck that on the end on purpose, didn't ya?! / Forget it! That doesn't make you sound like a ninja at all!
Bossun: Yeah, yeah... / You just never stop butting in with your smartass comments, do you... // Nin tomo kan tomo...
[TN: Another catchphrase, this time from the manga "Ninja Hattori-kun"]
Himeko: You could at least say it properly instead of muttering!!

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Bossun: A person? // You want us to steal a person?
Himeko: Chou-san, that's impossible... I mean, that's kidnapping!
Bossun: We take on missions to steal all kinds of things, but stealing a person...
Chou: No, no, this is quite the opposite. // It's my daughter who has been kidnapped. // That's why I've called upon you, the Nusutto-dan, to steal her back for me. // It seems that the idiot lord of that castle happened to see my daughter when he was in town, and took a liking to her. // Without even asking a word of consent, he stole her away right then and there.
Bossun: That lord, huh...? Well, he certainly does look like a right little scoundrel. // But hey, wouldn't you normally be happy about something like that?
Chou: This is no joke! I don't want her to end up as part of some lord's harem! I just want her to be able to have a normal life!

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Chou: But up against a man like that, I can't be too careful... / That's why I called upon you, the just and righteous thieves, the Nusutto-dan. // Infiltrating the castle should be child's play for a group of fugitive ninja like yourselves, right?
Bossun: Huh, so that's how it is... Well, it's been a while since we've had a chance to make use of our ninja skills properly!
Himeko: So what kind of girl is this daughter of yours?
Chou: Ah, yes, of course. / I still haven't shown you that. // Hey name is Roman.
[TN: Saw it coming. A mile off.]
Himeko: (A... aaaahhhhh... // Hmmmmm? What is this... this uneasiness? // I'm getting a bad feeling about this for some reason...)
Chou: I have a map of the inside of the castle to hand. After all, that lord is always up to no good... / If you could steal his fortune while you're at it, that would be excellent... // Hm? / What's wrong? // The security at the castle is very strict. I'll be sending one of my own men to assist you, so make sure to rendezvous with him.
Bossun: Right, this is where we're supposed to meet the guy...

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Bossun: Okay, let's take this opportunity to go over the plan.
Himeko: Hey, Bossun... // Why are my clothes so damn plain? / It's totally different from the picture on the front cover.
Bossun: Ehh?! Who cares about that?!! / Stop being so self-centred!! Who would go to the trouble of drawing that thing in every frame?!!
Switch: A ninja must always wear an outfit that allows him to melt into the shadows.
Bossun: Huh? / He changed his outfit?!! // What's with you, looking all cool?!!! Stop just doing whatever you feel like!!
Himeko: Ehhh... how come you get the good outfit...?
Bossun: With you in that fancy outfit, you make me look like some kind of Genin!!!
Himeko: And what the hell's with that computer?!! There ain't no way they have those in this era!!
Switch: Ah, but this is a wooden computer.
Himeko: Yeah, what about it?! What's that got to do with it?! // You think it suddenly makes sense just 'cause it's made of WOOD?!! Not a chance!!!
Shinzou: My apologies.

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[TN: And anybody who didn't see THIS one coming should slap themselves.]
Shinzou: I am a servant of the Chuuma clan... // Takemitsu Shinzou, at your service.
Bossun: Ah, oh, yeah, thanks for the help.
Shinzou: What?! / What is this, what is this now?! / What do you mean to imply by that watered-down reaction?!!
Bossun: Oh... well, you know. / We'd heard you were a ronin, so we were all pumped up to see what kind of guy you'd be... // ...but in the end, the result was pretty disappointing.
Shinzou: Ahah! Whatever could you mean by that?!! // What?! You wish to witness my skill?
Bossun: Huh?! I didn't say that!
Shinzou: As you wish!! / As you wish!! // Hm! // Haah!!
Himeko: A period piece, huh... yeah, I guess he would get caught up in it.
Bossun: Just like a fish to water...

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Switch: Incidentally, Bossun, I have acquired some useful information on the castle. // It seems that tonight, the Hitsuke-Touzoku Aratame have been assigned to the castle's security duties.
[TN: The Hitsuke-Touzoku Aratame (literally, Guards against Arson and Robbery) were a real-life famous group of law-enforcers in the Edo period.)
Bossun: !! / Seriously?! // (The Hitsuke-Touzoku Aratame... that means "Left-Handed Tsubaki". // Not the sort of guy I like to deal with...)
Shinzou: Hahah!! No need for worry!! // Not as long as I am here with you!!
Bossun: Shaddup...
Shinzou: Tonight, I have brought ten Frisk to ensure I fight at peak condition!!! // KUAAAHH!!! // Ahhhhhhh....
Himeko: What the hell's with this guy?!!
Bossun: Oh, forget him!! Let's just have the strategy meeting!!

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Himeko: Just a minute, all that shouting's made me thirsty. // Is there drinkable water in this well? // AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!!!
Bossun: What's wrong?!! What is it?!!
Himeko: A monster, there was a monster!!!
Switch: Something came out.
Reiko: Not that I have anything against you, but... // URAMESHIYA!!!
[TN: "Urameshiya" is apparently what ghosts say to scare people in Japan. Go figure. I found a whole manzai skit about it (the guy tries to do it properly, but keeps, er, getting it wrong :p) ...Well, I found it amusing.]
Bossun: What the?!!

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Reiko: Good evening, all... // And a good day to the fellow in glasses.
Bossun: Wait, wait up!! What's going on?!! / Huh?! Could... could you be... // A GHOST?!!
Reiko: ...I, Yuuki Reiko, will be playing that part.
Bossun: "Part"?! / Whaddaya mean, "part"?! / What's this girl think she's saying?!! // And who needs a ghost part, anyway?!!!
Reiko: Truth is, I wanted to be a ninja too, but this was the only part that I could get. / I suppose I'm just typecast.
Bossun: Right... I don't really get it, but okay.
Himeko: Yeah... I think that's enough of you.
Switch: I think the role of a semi-transparent corpse suits you rather well.
Himeko: YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT LIKE THAT!!
Bossun: Oh, forget it, let's just get on with the strategy meeting!!! // Look, we can see the layout of the castle from this map. / But we don't know in which room Roman is being held captive.
Switch: I should be able to calculate the most probable location mathematically.
Bossun: You do that, then, we need to try and get her out of there as quickly as possible. / She must be crying about now...
Roman: Save me...!
Himeko: You just wait, we'll be there to save you as soon as we can!

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Roman: Thank you! / I... I'll be waiting!
Bossun: Huh? She answered?
Himeko: No way, no way!! That's just totally impossible!!
Switch: According to my calculations, this room is the most likely location...
Roman: Oh, no, no! // I'm further in than that, a little to the right, okay?
Bossun: Hey!! Somebody stop this girl!!
Himeko: This is just too damn much fourth-wall-breakin'!!
Switch: So you're in this room, then?
Roman: No, no, that one over there... / Just a second, I'll show you...
Bossun: She's coming out?!!
Himeko: What the hell's goin' on?!! She's tearin' some kind of dimensional rift!!
Roman: There - !
Bossun/Himeko: HERE SHE COOOOOMES!!!
Himeko: Oh, NOW it turns all realistic!!
Roman: IC Screen S-614!!
[TN: Er, I think that's based on some kind of manga-drawing terminology ~_~]

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Roman: There we go!
Himeko: What's WITH this girl?!!! // Listen up, now, okay?!! / There are some things ya just can't go around doin'!! There are some rules you're not meant to break!!
Roman: I'm very sorry.
Bossun: This girl totally doesn't get it.
Roman: Well, since I'm here already, I might as well just help out the Nusutto-dan! / To tell the truth, just like the Ghost-san, I wanted to be a ninja, too...
Bossun: Huh? / How d'you know about all that?
Roman: Well, I've been reading the whole thing. I started from Page 1.
Bossun: What did we say about doing weird things like that?!!
Himeko: Stop breakin' the limits of space-time!!
Bossun: Ugh, all this thinking-out-of-the-box is making my head hurt...
Himeko: This girl's just screwin' everything up...
Roman: So, you know, I'd really like it if you'd let me be a ninja too!
Bossun: "Let you"...? // No, no, I mean, you can say you want to become a ninja and everything, but, I mean, you're just an ordinary village girl...
Roman: Oh, don't worry!

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Roman: Look!
Bossun: WHAAT?!! // She turned into a ninja?! / How?!!
Roman: Ninja page turning!
Himeko: ...Page turning?!
Roman: I skipped out the unnecessary frames to preserve the flow of the action.
Bossun: YOU CAN'T JUST SKIP STUFF!!!
Himeko: What happened while you were skippin' stuff?!!!
Roman: Oh, okay, we could put them back in if you like. Although, my training takes 136 pages...
Himeko: Oh, just forget it then!!
Bossun: How can you just skip all that?!!
Reiko: Ah... I would like to be reborn as a ninja too, but...
Bossun: Aaaagh, the ghost's still here!!
Reiko: Do you think I could become a ninja too?
Roman: Shall I try another timeskip?
Himeko: What's even goin' on...?
Bossun: Why do we have the girl who's supposed to be captured, a ghost, and a collapsed ronin all hanging around...?

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Roman: There we go!
Himeko: STOP DOIN' THAT!!!
Bossun: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!
Shinzou: ............ // It... it seems that you have some new companions!! / I... I haven't been... made redundant...?!!
Bossun: Ah, just shut up!! You just go back to sleep!!
Shinzou: Please... give me another chance!!
Soujirou: Hey, Tsubaki... you think they're actually going to show up? The Nusutto-dan.
Tsubaki: The intelligence was highly reliable. // That Fujisaki... he is a dangerous man, and thinks himself unmatched. // If we do not take this opportunity to eliminate him, he could become a formidable enemy.
Soujirou: Deadly serious as always, I see... / They're just kids, you know. I'm sure they've just gone off to have fun somewhere.
Tsubaki: You should not underestimate them so!! They will definitely come!!

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Bossun: How d'you like that?!! Did you see my awesome shuriken skills?!! // I'm not like those pretend-ninja who did all their training in the space of one panel!!
Roman: I can do that too!
Bossun: Huh?! / You can?
Roman: Well, I did train for 136 pages...
Bossun: Yeah... of course you did. // Shuriken are pretty heavy, you know? You don't want to push yourself...
Roman: I can hit it right here, okay? / Just watch! // Speech Bubble Flash!! // See!☆
Bossun: Whaddaya mean, "See!☆"?!! / But that is pretty amazing!! Seriously!!
Himeko: I never knew those things were so sharp...

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Himeko: ...Anyway, can you guys just stop messin' around?!! / We're goin' into the castle!!! // We still haven't moved an inch from this empty clearin'!! You want the chapter to end like this?!!
Reiko: Ehm... If possible, I would like to give it a go as well... / Showing my ninja skills.
Himeko: Oh, for the love of...!! / Who even cares!!
Bossun: Ugh, we finally got a crazy side-story, and it had to go like this...
Roman: I've got one I think you might be able to pull off, Yuuki-san. Do you want to give it a try?
Himeko: Who does she think she is...?
Reiko: But of course.
Roman: Raiton... // Lightning Flash!!!
Bossun: IT'S A BACKGROUND EFFECT!!!
Shinzou: AAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!
Bossun: SHINZOOOOOOU!!!!
Roman: I - I'm sorry!
Bossun: Try being a little more careful!! / Ugh, I never know what's gonna happen next in this storyline...!!
Himeko: You tryin' to get yourself killed?!!
Shinzou: My... my apologies. / *cough*

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Reiko: I wonder if I really could perform that jutsu...
Himeko: Not a chance, not a chance!! / Ya have to be a "young maiden" with a totally screwed-up imagination to pull that stuff off!!
Reiko: (A "young maiden"... // ...with a "totally screwed-up imagination"...) // I'll do it.
Himeko: What the hell?!!
Reiko: Hmmmmmmmmmm... // Hmmmmmmmmmm...
Roman: Use your imagination!! Imagine a shocking scene!!
Himeko: Don't tell her weird stuff!! / No normal person could pull off that kind of stuff!!
Bossun: ...............
Reiko: LIGHTNING FLASH!!!
Himeko: SHE DID IT!!!
Shinzou: AAAAAAGHHHHHHH!!!
Bossun: AND YOU STOP DOING THAT!!!

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Switch: UAAAAAGH!!!
Reiko: What are you doing, Switch-kun?
Himeko: What the hell d'you think you're jumpin' around for?!!
Switch: I want to act the fool too.
Bossun: What, he felt left out?!!
Himeko: What, you just couldn't stop yourself, huh?!!
Switch: Well, I couldn't just stand around and watch silently.
Himeko: That doesn't mean you have to start leapin' at people!!! That's just stupid!! // Hm? // What's up, Bossun?
Bossun: ............ // Hm?
Himeko: Huh?! / He's just spacing out?!!

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Himeko: What is it?!! What's wrong?!!
Bossun: Oh... no, it's nothing... / Just... you know. // I wonder... am I really any use...?
Himeko: Oh, crap!! / He's gone into that depressed state of his!! // Whaddaya think you're saying, huh?!! You're the leader, right? You're the main character, right?
Bossun: Yeah... but it's not like we even need to go to the castle any more really, is it? / Forget it, we can just hang around acting like idiots instead. // I think I just need... / ...a little rest. / Yeah...
Switch: Completely gone into his "depressed mode".
[TN: I'm just kind of guessing at a translation on that line... the original line was 「卑屈モードは読切以来だな」... I don't understand 読切以来 T_T Anybody?]
Himeko: He's totally lost his sense of purpose... / Poor Bossun... // Hey! Come on, let's all go to the castle, okay? We won't be able to do a thing without you!
Shinzou: That is correct! We are all relying upon you!
Himeko: How should we go about the infiltration? Everyone's waitin' for your instructions!
Switch: After all, we're like a bunch of pigs - we can't do a thing without orders.
Reiko: One should not let oneself be overcome by darkness!
Shinzou: I beg of thee, formulate a strategy, Bossun-dono!!
Roman: That's right, my Prince! I want to see that brilliant panel where you sort everything out!

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Bossun: Just a minute, okay?
Everybody: Ahhhh, Bossu~~~n!!!
Shinzou: But still... / It feels a little wrong to say this in this situation, but... / Precisely what are we intending to do once we infiltrate the castle...?
Himeko: ......... / Huh, you're right... I don't really know... // I mean, Roman's already right here... / Our mission's already basically over, y'know...
Roman: Ahh... Have I done a bad thing, then?
Himeko: Mmm... yeah. / Well, not a "bad" thing... / ...so much as an "impossible" thing, really.
Switch: But we were also instructed to attempt to steal the castle's riches.
Himeko: Ahh... yeah, that's right... / We could do that.

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Himeko: ...... / Y'know, I'm just askin', but... / Is he really okay?
Shinzou: Himeko-dono! / Just take a look at him! Bossun-dono is clearly perfecting a brilliant plan to infiltrate the castle!
Himeko: Well, I guess...
Roman: Oh, if you want the treasure, I could get it for you! I know where it is.
Himeko: Huh?! How would you get in there?
Roman: Cloud tone.
Himeko: Cloud tone?!!
Himeko: Ah! // BOSSU~~~N!!! // We're sorry! We're really sorry!!
Bossun: No... you guys don't worry about me! Forget I'm even here, I'm sorry for causing you any trouble.
Himeko: Stop talkin' like that! We're all gonna go to the castle and steal the treasure!!
Bossun: What, on top of a cloud?! You guys can just go and do it on your own.
Himeko: Bossu~n!!!
Soujirou: ...They don't seem to be coming.
Tsubaki: ............
[insert text: This Edo night is a long one...]