Sket Dance 19

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Sket Dance
Chapter 19: Genesis Generation
[insert text: This time round, it's sports! ...Huh? Is it really sports?!]
Bossun: Huh?! // Ge... // Gene... / What?!
Yamanobe: Genesis.
Bossun: Genis?
Yamanobe: No! / Genesis!!
Bossun: Genesis! // Genesis... right?!
Himeko: So what's all this about "Genesis", anyway...?
Yamanobe: That's what I'm trying to tell you!! I want to start a Genesis Club!!!
[box: Geography Teacher: Yamanobe Kunio]
Yamanobe: I want to let everybody know about Genesis!!!

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[Text]
Genesis

The origins of this ball game are one of the biggest mysteries in modern sporting, but it can be traced back to certain ancient Chinese wall paintings.

Originally based upon the concept of long-legged demons throwing small stones at one another, the imagination of the people of that age transformed it first into a hermits' game, and eventually this developed into a sport.

However, thanks to the insular nature of the society and the way traditions were passed down, it failed to spread widely enough to be recognised as a true sport, and has today been reduced to a so-called "legendary sport", apparently only practised in a small region of China where it continues to be passed down amongst the local community.

As records are lacking on the subject, the precise materials and rules used in the game are unknown, however it has been confirmed that there are a number of players still extant somewhere in Asia, and many people live in hope that light will someday once more be shed upon this mysterious game.

- Minmin Shoboukan
"The Giant Encyclopedia of Pretend Sports"
[/Text]
[TN: I don't know whether this "Minmin Shoboukan" is supposed to be a name, or something else... I can't make much sense of it ~_~]
Bossun/Himeko: ...This sport doesn't exist!!!
Yamanobe: No, I assure you it does!!!
Bossun: Oh, come on, nobody would believe this stuff!! Somebody's having you on, Sensei!!
Yamanobe: No, no! I'm one of the actual living players!! I learnt the game back when I was a kid!!
Bossun: From who?
Yamanobe: Master Huang.
Bossun: ...I'd like you to leave now.
Himeko: Sensei, shall I haul you roughly out of the room?
Yamanobe: I'm telling you, it's true!! I use to live in China way back when!!

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Tsubaki: Gene... / Genis? // Genesis? / What on Earth is that? // Even if it is a request from a teacher, I cannot possibly approve such an obscure club request. // You would have to gather at least three members who can actually play thie "Genesis" game, and demonstrate an actual match for me. // I shall pass judgement myself based upon this match.
Bossun: Well, yeah, that kinda makes sense...
Himeko: People are just gonna think you're bored and pullin' some kind of practical joke.
Yamanobe: That's why I'm begging you!!! // I want you, the Sket-dan, to become temporary members and help me get this club established!! // I'll take all the responsibility and sort out all the coaching!!
Bossun: Right...
Himeko: Well...
Switch: Yeeeeees...
Yamanobe: All right! Well, then, if you could all change your clothes and meet me in the area next to the gymnasium!!
Sket-dan: Ehhhh?!

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Yamanobe: All right, here we go! // This isn't too difficult, / okay? // Make sure you put some enthusiasm into it, okay? // So let's give this a go! // Okay?!
Bossun: Sensei, I have a question!
Yamanobe: And what would that be, Bossun-kun?
Bossun: Do we really need these fin-things on our feet?
Yamanobe: Fin things...? / Oh, you mean the Flippers.
Bossun: "Flippers"?
Yamanobe: Of course you need them! You could say that the Flippers are the most important feature of the game!
Himeko: They kinda slap around and make it real hard to walk, though.
Yamanobe: Hahaha, that they do, that they do. // The Flippers place great restriction on the movement of the lower half of your body. // Master Huang always told me that "He who masters the Flippers, masters Genesis"!
Himeko: ...I don't really get it, but basically, we've gotta wear the stupid things, right?
Bossun: Oh, whatever, just tell us the rules already.

5
Bossun: What the heck's this net thing for?
Yamanobe: Morning Star.
Bossun: Huh?
Yamanobe: It's called a "Morning Star".
Bossun: Morning...? Oh, who cares what the thing's called? / What do we use the thing for?
Yamanobe: That's what I'm about to explain!! Can you just let me explain these things in the proper order?!! / Guys like you are the first to get injured, you know!! // All right, so listen up. / When playing Genesis, you use the Morning Star to catch or not catch the ball.
Bossun: Huh?! // Which one is it?!!
Yamanobe: All right, let's start from the proper way to hold it! // Let's start by having everybody hold them however feels most natural!!! // Ah... // Ahhh... // Oh my, oh my, that's very good, you three!!! / You must have played Genesis before, haven't you?!!
Himeko: What's with this guy?!! / He's getting freakin' annoying the way he gets all excited and stuff!!

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Bossun: There's one other thing that's been kinda bothering me... / There's this thing stuck on the end of my Morning Star...
Himeko: Yeah, there's one stuck here on my Morning Star too...
Yamanobe: Hahaha... very well spotted, you two. // That is called the Tail.
Bossun: Tail?
Yamanobe: Ah, you have the intonation a little wrong there. If you put the accent on the initial "te", you sound like a real amateur. / If you want to sound like a real veteran like myself, you should say it with a kind of rising intonation. / Like the word "Shibuya".
Himeko: Who even cares?!!
Bossun: And by the way, if this is meant to be a Chinese game, why're all the terms in English?
Yamanobe: I'll explain the rules regarding the Tail later, but I'd just like you to take a look at this fashion point. / As you can see, my Tail has a thread of gold lame braided into it. // The Tail can be styled to reflect the personal tastes of the individual Genesist...
Himeko: I thought we said we don't care!!

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Yamanobe: The recent fashion is to use similar coloured material for the grip and the Tail, so that they match. / I call this style, where I have a gold theme across both the Tail and the grip, the "One Piece Fairy Tail".
[TN: Fairy Tail? Man, that's not even a Jump property... :p]
Himeko: WHO GIVES A SHIT?!!! JUST HURRY IT UP!!!
Yamanobe: Ahh... So, basically... / Genesis is a ball game encompassing these three main points - the Morning Star, the Flippers, and the Volleyball.
Bossun: ...Did he just say "Volleyball"?
Himeko: Oh, let's not even go there... / It doesn't really matter.
Yamanobe: Right, so, now that we have that sorted, I'll explain the rules! // Okay, so, this is the court. / I drew out the lines on the grass in advance using quicklime.
Bossun: ...Are you sure you should be going around doing things like that...?
Yamanobe: It's roughly the same size as a dodgeball court. / In a pinch, you can just use a dodgeball court as an easy substitute.
Himeko: Why the heck is this part so much simpler than all the rest?
Bossun: I guess he went overboard on explaining all the different tools and couldn't be bothered with this part...

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Yamanobe: All right... first of all, I shall teach you the pre-match dance!
Bossun: DANCE?! // We don't have to do some stupid dance!!! Why don't you try teaching us how to actually play Genesis?!!
Yamanobe: Huh?! What's with that attitude?! / Are you trying to insult the Warcry Dance?! // Muay Thai kickboxing has the Wai Kru, and the All Blacks rugby team have the Haka! // Just like those, the Warcry Dance is a sacred ritual of Genesis that must be performed prior to every match!! And you have the nerve to...!!
Bossun: All right, all right...
Yamanobe: Al right... so, everybody in a nice straight line. / When playing doubles, all four players line up together and face towards the spectators. // Okay! Now, raise both hands! / Ri~ght up, that's it! // Make sure you stretch your fingers right out! // One, two, three, four, and wave your arms right and left!! / Right! Left! Right! Left! That's it! // At the same time, you have to swing your hips in the opposite direction! / Left! Right! Left! Right!

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Yamanobe: And on 5 - 6 - 7 - 8, you have to hop on one leg! // Ton-ton-ton-ton... that's excellent!!! // Right, so you just repeat that over and over! / The rhythm is "Hai-hai-hai-hai, ton-ton-ton-ton"! / Got that?!
Bossun/Himeko: ............
Yamanobe: I said, you got that?!!
Bossun/Himeko: Yessir!
Yamanobe: All right, here goes!! It's the Genesis Warcry Dance!!! // And go!!! // Ha~i-ha~i-ha~i-ha~i...
Bossun: Hai hai hai hai...
Yamanobe: Stop right there!!!!
Bossun: Huh?!
Yamanobe: If you don't put your heart into it, you're bette off giving up!!! // Do it louder!!! You have to really belt out the "Hai-hai-hai"s!!! // And then when you get to the "ton"s, you let it drop!! / You let the tension drop a little!
Bossun: Who cares?!!

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Yamanobe: All right, do it one more time!! // And... go!!!
Sket-dan: HA~I - HA~I - HA~I - HA~I // Ton - ton - ton - ton... // HA~I - HA~I - HA~I - HA~I // Ton - ton - ton - ton...
Yamanobe: And "HA~I HA~I HA~I HA~I"...
Himeko: I've had enough!!!

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Himeko: How long are you gonna make us do this Warcry Dance?!!! / Hurry up and teach us to play Genesis!!!
Yamanobe: Ahh... O - Okay! / All right, let's start off, then! // Okay. Let's see... // Bossun-kun. // You stand over there. // To start with, I'll be on the offensive - that is, the Attacker. / You're on the receiving side, we call that the "Defencist".
Bossun: "Defencist"?
Yamanobe: The Attacker faces the Defencist and throws the ball like so. / All right? I'm gonna throw it now! // BREAK!! // Oh, come on, what was that? Don't just stand around staring blankly like that!
Bossun: Huh? What's that? / We've started already?!
Yamanobe: Yes, we have!! / All right, I'll throw another one! // BREAK!!!

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Yamanobe: That's twice in a row, we call that a "Gimmeabreak"!!! / Come on!! We can't play Genesis like this!!
Bossun: Whaat?!! What're you talking about?! I don't know what the hell's going on!!
Yamanobe: Come ON!!! What do you think this thing is you're holding?!
Bossun: Th - the Morning Star...
Yamanobe: What's right!!! / You've got your Morning Star, right?!!! // And you use that... // ...to...?
Bossun: ............ / ...catch the ball...?
Yamanobe: That's right!!! / Although you don't have to catch it.
Himeko: I don't get what's with that!!! Which one is it?!
Yamanobe: All right, this time you're the Defencist, Switch-kun. // Here goes... // NET IN!!! // NICE NETTING! // All right, so he caught the ball in the net! This way the Defencist gets one point!
Himeko: The hell kinda sport is that?!!
Bossun: I'm starting to think this game really stinks...

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Yamanobe: Now, at this point, if the Tail is touching the ground, the Defencist gets one point... but if it isn't, then they get two points instead!
Bossun: Oh, so that's what the Tail thing's for!!
Himeko: That's a pretty weird rule...
Yamanobe: If the Defencist doesn't catch the ball, and the ball hits his or her body, that's a "Break", and the Attacker gets one point. // If the ball isn't caught but it doesn't hit the Defencist, that's a "Breakthrough". / That way, neither side gets any points.
Bossun/Himeko: ............
Yamanobe: If there are three Breakthroughs in a row, we call that situation "Read Air". / In Read Air, the Attacker has no choice but to hit the Defencist with the ball. // This means that from the Defencist's point of view, it's theoretically easier to catch the ball, so the Defencist has two choices - either to attempt a Netting or to try for a Through.
Bossun: W - wait a minute...
Himeko: I can barely understand it with all the crazy terms thrown in there... / This guy really sucks at coaching.
Switch: So essentially, an effective tactic would be to aim for a Break when the Tail is not touching the ground but it appears that the point can be taken.
Himeko: WHY THE HELL DO YOU UNDERSTAND IT?!!
[TN: Well, he may understand it, but I'm completely lost, so apologies if my translation's a little off @_@]
Bossun: I guess he's just into crappy games...
Yamanobe: Right, then, we'll move on to some practice in an actual match format. / I'll explain the proper procedure starting from the Coin Toss, so make sure you memorise it properly.
Bossun: Ahhh, there he goes with the useless rules again...

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Yamanobe: First of all, we toss the coin. // All right, now, Bossun-kun, you have to ask "Flip Or Flop?"
Bossun: ...Flip Or Flop?
Yamanobe: That's right... and now you, Himeko-kun... what do you do...?
Himeko: Hm?
Yamanobe: Flip? Flop? / You have to choose one.
Himeko: ...Flip.
Yamanobe: Okay, and now we take a look at the coin... // Heads. // That doesn't really decide anything, now, does it. // So now we toss it once more...
Himeko: OH, FORGET IT!!! // WHO CARES ABOUT THIS STUPID PART?!!!
Yamanobe: But it's very important!! It determines who's the Attacker and who's defending!
Himeko: Look, I'll just be the Attacker!!
Yamanobe: Oh, that's very nice, Himeko-kun! / You're all fired up and ready to go!!
Himeko: This is borin' the hell out of me!! Let's just get started!!

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Yamanobe: SHE TRIPPED ON THE TAIL!!!
Himeko: Ugh, do we REALLY need this thing?!!
Switch: Don't take that tone. The Tail is a Genesist's life.
Himeko: WHY THE HELL'RE YOU ACTIN' LIKE SOME KIND OF ELITE GENESIST?!!!
Yamanobe: Slow Life!! ("Match Start")
Himeko: Hahh!!
Yamanobe: Net In!!! // All right, so Bossun-kun gets one point... / Ah, but I haven't told you about the special scoring system yet, have I?! Everyone over here!
Bossun: Whaaaat, again...?!
Yamanobe: If you think about the scoring system in tennis, this is fairly similar to that.
Bossun: Tennis...?
Switch: Zero points is "love", one point is "Fifteen", two points is "Thirty", and three points is "Forty".

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Yamanobe: That's right. But you know, if you're counting in fifteens, it shouldn't really be forty - it should be forty-five, don't you think? It seems a little contrived. // So in Genesis, we use a counting system in units of seven.
Bossun: ...Isn't that a little contrived too?
Himeko: These systems are all ridiculous, why can't you just count one by one?!
Yamanobe: So, zero points is "Love". / That part's the same as tennis. // Seven points is "Lovin'".
Himeko: The hell?!!
Yamanobe: Fourteen points is "Love Generation".
Himeko: What's with all the "Love"?!!
Yamanobe: Twenty-one points is "My Generation".
Bossun: Ah, there's no "love"!
Himeko: Ya could at least stick to one theme!!
Yamanobe: Then twenty-eight is "Generation Gap".
Himeko: ...Now they're all using "Generation"...
Yamanobe: Thirty-five is "General Generator Generation".
Himeko: That's too long!!!
Bossun: What, did the guy who came up with this just like saying "Gene"?!!
Yamanobe: Forty-two points is "Geneva".
Bossun: Huh, it changed again...
Himeko: That sounds like you're just bein' lazy!!

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Yamanobe: So, yes... the first person to get all those seven points wins the game, and the first to two games wins the match!
Bossun: ...Wouldn't that make the match really, really short?
Yamanobe: All right, so, let's pick up where we left off! // Slownin Life!! ("Restart Match") // Love - Love Generation! // Lovin' - Love Generation! // Love Generation - My Generation! // My Generation - Generation Gap! // Generation Gap - General Generator Generation!
Himeko: THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!

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[Text: One week later...]
Switch: Love Generation - General Generator Generation!
Himeko: Ahhh, he got it...
Bossun: Huh?! Was the tail touching?!
Switch: It was touching.
Bossun: Huh, pretty good one there, Himeko, you actually got me in the Wake Up Zone...
Himeko: Well, anyway, that's a Reset on the Read Air, so we're Knocking on the next Ready Go Turn.
Tsubaki: ............ // To be perfectly honest, I don't understand it very well, but it would certainly appear that the game is viable. I'll allow you to start up the club.
Yamanobe: Really?!!

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Tsubaki: Just one question... what do you intend to do about finding members?
Yamanobe: Ah, well, you see, these guys can hold membership in two clubs at once, and...
Tsubaki: I can't allow that. // School regulations allow for exceptional circumstances such as lesser members who act as assistants in club matches and the like...
Mossun: Hm? Hm?
Himeko: What's goin' on?
Tsubaki: ...But as a general rule, simultaneous membership in more than one club is prohibited. // If these three are going to join the Genesis Club... // The Sket-dan will have to be dissolved completely. // I will permit you to carry out recruitment based activities at the school entrance during before- and after-school hours only. // If you do not wish for the Sket-dan to be dissolved, you will simply have to recruit members properly.
Himeko: ......
Yamanobe: ......
Sket-dan: HA~I HA~I HA~I HA~I!
[sign: Now recruiting members for the Genesis club!!!]
Himeko: What was the point in all that training...?
[insert text: Uselessness is an integral part of life...!]