Sket Dance 20

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Sket Dance
Chapter 20: Momoka's Seiyuu Aspirations
[insert text: Big news for former(?) delinquent Momoka?!
Bossun: A seiyuu?!! // Huh?! / You were scouted as a seiyuu?
Himeko: What the hell?!! When did this happen?!!
Momoka: Well, I don't know about "scouted", I was just invited for an audition... // But I don't really know all that much about anime and stuff, so I'm kinda worried...
Bossun: ......... // W - well, don't look so down!
Himeko: Yeah, just tell us everything nice and slow.

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Momoka: Well, you know we did that puppet show at the kindergarten a while back? // Well, the teacher with glasses back then, apparently her brother is in the anime industry. // And it looks like the teacher really liked my voice, so she spoke to him... // And so he got in contact with me... // ...asking me if I'd like to come and audition for a part in the next anime he's working on.
Himeko: Whoa...
Bossun: Whooa... // I mean, sorry!! / I just don't really know how to react to that, you know...
Himeko: Yeah, it's just so different from your image and stuff, ya know...
Bossun: So, yeah... / What do you think about it?
Momoka: ............

3
Momoka: I think I'd like to give it a try. // I mean, I know I'm basically a good-for-nothing... // And I've never really given any thought to what I'd like to do after I graduate... / I just thought I'd end up working at some random place, you know... // When I first heard about this, I mean, I don't know anything about anime... // And I've never really thought of my own voice as anything special of anything, so I was going to turn it down straight away... // But then... // I remembered something. // The applause we got, back at Masurao Kindergarten... // The way all the kids were so happy like that... // The way I actually managed to make them all smile so much...

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Momoka: Even a person like me... I just thought, if I could get a job making kids happy like that, that would be amazing... // So... // I thought I might give it a go...
Himeko: Ahh!!! That's great, that's really great!! You should go for it!! / Man, I don't know what it is, but you made me wanna cry right there!!
Bossun: Yeah, that's great!! We'll be right behind you, Momoka!! // Okay!! / We've gotta make a flag!!
Himeko: a flag?!
Bossun: Something like "Go Momoka!!"
Momoka: Oh, you don't have to...
Bossun: Switch, go buy some cloth!!!
Momoka: Wait, wait, wait... / The reason I came here... // ...was because I want you to tell me about anime and stuff. / I don't really know anything about it. // Switch, you know a lot about that sort of thing, right?

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Switch: You want me to teach you... // ...about anime? // Switch... // That is, Usui Kazuyoshi... // You want me... // ...to teach you?
Himeko: What's with you, lookin' stuff up while you're talking?!!
Bossun: I guess he's just pleased, so there's no stopping him...
Switch: Very well... where should I begin your education...?
Bossun: Man, he's getting into this...
Switch: The Path of Anime is a long and difficult one... / Do you truly believe you are up to the journey...?
Himeko: What happened to his face?!
Momoka: I'm up to the task!!
Himeko: Ahh, she changed an' all!!
Bossun: The hell's this "Path of Anime"?!!

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Switch: First of all, what is the name of the anime director in question...?
Momoka: Ahhh... I think it was something like "Suemasu-san"...
Switch: Ah... yes, yes, yes... that must be Suemasu Arashi. // In which case, the job in question would most likely be the new Nervous series.
Momoka: "Nervous series"?
Switch: "Futari wa Nervous!" / The target audience is preteen girls, but the series is essentially a part of the superhero genre. Thanks to the high quality of the action scenes, it has received wide acclaim and popularity.
Bossun: Ahh, Futari wa Nervous... is that what I think it is?! Back in the ghost-hunting case, you gave the guy from the anime society that figure...
Himeko: Why the hell're you startin' to sound like an otaku?!
Momoka: So, about this "Nervous" thing... if you happen to have a copy, could you lend it to me?
Switch: But of course I shall. I will lend you the limited-edition special DVD box set, including special bonus interviews with the seiyuu behind the series.
Himeko: Just shaddup and hand it over!!
Switch: Ah, but simply watching the show and studying that will be insufficient. You must be properly informed about the dubbing procedures. // It's time for... // "That's Our Swi~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ // ~~tch Corner~~~~~~!☆"
Himeko: He's doin' it again!!

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Switch: Observe, if you will, my special training programme.
Momoka: Training?
Bossun: What're you doing with that TV?
Switch: First of all, we find and play an appropriate scene.
TV: Futari wa Nervous!!
Switch: Next, we play the same scene again, but excluding the vocal track.
Himeko: Ahhh!! // You can do that?!
Switch: In this way, it becomes possible to practice the dubbing procedure.
Everyone: THAT'S OUR SHATCH!
Bossun: Oh, crap! I got too excited and ended up saying "Shatch"!!
Himeko: Me too!!
Momoka: Me too!!
Switch: Me too!!
Himeko: No, NOT you too!!

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Switch: Now then, let us begin. // In a moment, I shall play a short clip from the series "Futari wa Nervous!" // I want you to memorise the lines, and you will be asked to perform them yourself afterwards.
Momoka: Okay.
Switch: You may find it somewhat embarrassing being asked to perform all of a sudden.
Momoka: Y - yeah...
Switch: Personally, I feel there is nothing quite so nasty as terrible amateur voice-acting. / It is painful to listen to.
Momoka: .........
Switch: However! Overcoming the obstacle of your own lack of self-confidence... I would call that the primary purpose of this training!
Momoka: ............
Switch: Are you ready? // Well?
Himeko: Quit it with all the pressurin' and just start already!!
Bossun: Man, this guy's a total sadist...
Switch: Well then, I will start the clip.
Bossun: Ah! / It started...

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TV: Nervous Nervous... // Nervous Nervous... // Nervous Nervous...
Bossun: Huh, what's this? / The opening theme...?
TV: Nervous Nervous Nervous... // Nervous! // Nervous! // Nervous // Oh, Nervous... // Cha-la-cha, Cha-la-cha-la-cha~ // Cha-la-su-la-cha, Cha-la-cha-la, Cha~cha~~ // Nervous Nervous Nervous...
Himeko: Oh, come ON, get on with it!!! // You're makin' ME "Nervous" now!! / What's with this song?!!
Bossun: And who needs the opening theme anyway?!! Play something that has actual lines!!
Switch: No... the opening is vital. If you do not watch the opening, it does not truly feel like the show has begun.
[TN: Damn straight!]
Switch: Now then, let us take a look at the famous scene from Episode 3, "Muttering Battle In Open Cafe".
Himeko: The hell kind of anime is this...?

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Character: I was really so happy when he proposed to me... // We've decided on where to hold the ceremony, and we're working on the invitations and everything... // Heheh... / You know, when we were picking out the clothes, he got so worked up, it was quite a scene... // But... // With everything coming together so quickly... / Sometimes I find myself stopping to wonder... // Is marrying this man really the right thing to do...?
Bossun: STOP RIGHT THERE!!! // What the hell IS this anime?!!! What are these girls talking about?!!
Switch: This is the scene in which the main character, Marriage Blue, confesses her inexpressible anxieties since her engagement...
Himeko: The hell's this "Marriage Blue"?!! What the hell kinda anime are we watchin'?!!
Momoka: I - I was really so happy when he proposed to me...
Himeko: Ya don't have to do it!! / This stuff's just ridiculous!!

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Himeko: And there's somethin' funny goin' on around here!! Isn't this supposed to be about superheroes?!! Why're they just ordinary twenties-ish women?!!
Switch: "Futari wa Nervous!" is a series which became highly popular despite the fact that the pre-transformation drama content accounts for 90% of the action.
Himeko: What is this, daytime TV?!!
Switch: Incidentally, the show was broadcast at 7 PM.
Himeko: Prime-time TV?!!
Bossun: Ah, come on, let's just do another scene! I mean, I know it's meant to be "Nervous" and all, but these lines are just ridiculous!
Momoka: Yes... I'm really not too sure about all this wedding stuff, and I can't really get into the mentality of a woman preparing for her wedding ceremony very easily...
Himeko: Wow... you sound kinda like a real professional there...
Switch: Well then, let us attempt a different scene, with a different character.
Bossun: And make it a good one.
Character1: Don't worry about me, Mum, I'm fine. / The doctor told me I should get plenty of exercise, remember? // (Right now, I think I can really stand tall and feel truly happy.)
Character2: Is that right? You are always a fighter, after all. / I'm just always worried that you might push yourself too hard... // You're just like I was at your age!
Character1: (And I don't have any complaints about my husband, or my mother-in-law...) // Oh, Mother...! // See you later! // (But this life that I'm carrying inside me... As it slowly gets heavier, these thoughts seem gradually to be weighing down on my mind more strongly as well...)

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Character1: (Will I really be able to raise this child...?)
Himeko: Okay, STOP!!! // WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!!!
Switch: This is the famous scene in which the other main character, Maternity Blue, frankly expresses her worries shortly before the birth of her child.
Himeko: Why're all these scenes so freakin' serious and stuff?!! And how the hell're we meant to practice dubbing with all this narration, anyway?!!
Momoka: The mindset of a pregnant woman... // The mindset of a pregnant woman...
Himeko: Ya don't have to do it!!
Switch: What exactly do you people have a problem with?
Bossun: The content!!
Switch: This anime is about how Marriage Blue and Maternity Blue manage, despite their many personal anxieties, to finally defeat the mysterious villain...
Himeko: Who even NEEDS a villain?!! // And what's with all the "blue", anyway?!! Couldn't they have some variety?!
Bossun: Ugh, forget it!! Try something else!! / A different anime!!
Himeko: Something a little more oriented towards children!
Switch: Children... I see.

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Switch: How about this traditional magical-girl show?
Bossun: That's right!! // This one has young girls, right?! Not angsty women in their twenties, right?!
Switch: It's entirely oriented towards children. It's an ordinary good-versus-evil type storyline, with plenty of battle scenes.
Himeko: Good, good!!
Switch: Well, then, it's time to watch... "Mahou no Petenshi: Reality☆Maji"!
[TN: "Mahou no Petenshi" = "Magical Swindler"]
Bossun: ............ // Don't tell me... not... the one with that "Cynical Stick" thing...?
Himeko: Can she really use magic, though? I mean, it says "swindler" in the title...
Character1: So...... // What are you going to do now? // Your defeat was certain from the moment you fell for my trick. // There is no need for me to even use my magic to defeat you. // Shall I use this Cynical Stick to put you out of your misery...?
Character2: P... Please... forgive me...

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Character1: I'd like you to give me a more logical response than that. / Something more realistic. // Do you truly believe that one who has committed such evil deeds as yourself could be set free without any kind of penalty...?
Character2: ......!! // How much do you want?!
Himeko: Oh, what the hell's goin' on here?!!
Switch: Though Reality☆Maji takes place in a fantasy setting, the situations are hendled in a very down-to-earth manner, so as to present a realistic world-view to the children of today -
Himeko: Oh, forget it!! Who'd want their kids to watch this stuff?!!!
Bossun: At any rate, don't you have any simpler lines to start off with...?
Switch: Hmmm... Very well, let us rehearse catchphrases!
Bossun: Catchphrases... you mean, stuff like "In the name of the moon...!" and all that?
Switch: Here we are.
Character1: Do you wish to see the Earth from deep below the ground?
[TN: The original Japanese is "Tsuchi ni umatte, hoshi wo miru?" - it's a semi-pun on Sailor Moon's "Tsuki ni kawatte, oshioki yo!" ("In the name of the moon, I will punish you!", but I can't really get that across in English ~_~) Also, I'm not entirely sure how to translate the line in general. The natural translation of "hoshi wo miru" would be "to look at the stars", but in context, that's a little odd... "hoshi" can also mean "planet", or "the Earth", so I've gone for that angle...]
Bossun: THIS KID'S SCARY!!

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Bossun: W... well, I guess it's better than nothing...
Himeko: Whaddaya think, Momoka?
Momoka: Mmm... I'll give it a go. // YOU WANNA SEE THE EARTH FROM DEEP BENEATH THE GROUND?!
Himeko: AAAGH!!! // No, no, no, that's no good!! You're puttin' too much intensity into it!!
Momoka: It was... no good?
Bossun: No, no, it was okay, it's just... you were kinda doing that for real, you know?!! I haven't seen you look like that for a long time!!
Momoka: Gaze at the Earth from deep below the ground!
Bossun: A little less forceful!!
Himeko: And stop changin' the lines!!
Sarukawa: Momoka-san...
Kijima: [aside]Go for it...![/aside]

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[Text: The day of the seiyuu audition...]
Dude: Right, then... Number 6, Kibitsu-sa~~~~n! // Please come i~~~n!
Momoka: Y - yes!
Dude: Okay, so we have plenty of staff here today to observe your performance... / But don't be nervous, just try to relax, oka~y?
Bossun: You're really good at working under pressure, you'll be fine!
Himeko: Just keep calm and do your best!
Momoka: (I'll be okay... // I can do this...!)
Dude: Okay, and sta~~rt!

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Momoka: All... all five of you?! Ugh! What is wrong with you all?!!
Dude: Hmmm... // You're pretty damn talented for an amateur. // But your projection still needs wo~rk! // Around he~re... // You need to project your voice right from down he~re!
Momoka: Ugh... this perverted old man...!!
Flashback!Himeko: No matter what happens, you mustn't lose it in there!
Momoka: ...............I know that, Nee-san...

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Dude: And my~... you do have quite the pretty face as we~~ll... // If you're a good girl and listen to what I have to say, we may be able to make an idol seiyuu out of you~~! // Why don't you come round my place next wee~k? / I'll give you some private lessons...! // Very special lessons!♡
Momoka: Oi...
Dude: Huh?!
Momoka: You wanna see your blood from deep below the ground?!
Dude: !!!

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Dude: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! // I - I - I - I'm so sorryyyy!!!
OtherDude: ......... // She's the one!! // We've found our heroine for the new project!!
[Text: And so... // Momoka debuts as a seiyuu...!!]
[Title: Mahou no Yankee: Liberty Maji]
[TN: Mahou no Yankee = "Magical Delinquent"]
[side headline: The new highschooler heroine: // KIBITSU MOMOKA-san]
[insert text: S...... Seriously?!]
[TN: The insert text is a bit of a pun - in Japanese, it's "Maji de?!", and it uses the same unusual kanji for "maji" as in "Liberty Maji".]
Himeko: Well, that's just great!!!