Sket Dance 21

1
[insert text: It's Shimada-san from the Newspaper Club!]
Takako: Hey, Bossun, Bossun!
Bossun: Oh, what's this, what's this? If it isn't our little culprit from the haunting case, Shimada Takako.
Takako: Oh, you don't have to go on about that! // I was just wondering if I could put this poster up in your classroom!
[Poster:]
Organised by the Newspaper Club
NO.1 CONTEST
Please take part in the voting!
[/Poster]
Bossun: Hm? What's this? / "Number One Contest"?
Takako: It's a class competition... a "Miss And Mister Contest". / The newspaper club are sponsoring it, and we're going to print the results in the school newspaper every month! / This month, it's Class 2-C's turn.
Bossun: Huh, you've got a ton of categories here, haven't you...
Himeko: Oh, I've heard about this! // The Captain took Miss Pretty and Miss Sportsman for Class B! // Look, she got two medals and everythin'!

2
Takako: Voting starts in a week's time!
Bossun: Ahhh! / What if I managed to get Number One Mr. Popular?!
Himeko: ...I'm not even gonna bother.
CreepyBoy: ..................
Uchida: Ah... / Sorry.
Creepy: Th - that's okay...

3
Sket Dance
Chapter 21: Producing Uchida
[side: Miss And Mister]
[Categories:]
Popular
Sports(wo)man
Cool♡Pretty
Smart
Strong
Nice-guy
Otaku
Funnyman
Nice Vocals
Super-pervert
[/Categories]
Himeko: Huh?!
Bossun: Seriously?!

4
Uchida: Yeah... // I... I want... // I want you to help me become popular.
Bossun: ............
Switch: His name is Uchida Takaaki, from Class 2-C, student number 3.
Bossun: I know who he is!!
Himeko: We're in the same freakin' class!
Bossun: Well, hm, yeah, I do know him, but we haven't ever really talked...
Himeko: He's a pretty quiet guy...
Bossun: ...So why does a quiet guy like you suddenly want to be popular and stuff?
Uchida: ............

5
Uchida: I... I just wanted to change... // I... I mean, it's just like you're saying... I never really stood out, and I don't really have any proper friends... // And I know that it's all my fault really... // I mean, I've never really got myself involved in anything... / Even if people talk to me, I... I can't really hold up a conversation... // I don't really feel there's anywhere I belong at school... // During breaks, I just sit around and read books... // Or just walk around the school... // I mean, I know that class is just full of nice people... / I'm just not really happy with my situation right now... // I... I know it's a pretty crazy request, really... // But...

6
Bossun: All right. // We'll accept.
Himeko: Yeah?
Bossun: Yeah. / We'll do it.
Uchida: Huh? // Huh?
Bossun: Switch, get me an afro from that box over there.
Switch: Okay.
Himeko: Why're you gettin' an afro out already?!!
Uchida: *sniff* // Th... / Thank you...
Himeko: Huh? / You cryin'?
Uchida: Sorry... I... I'm just really emotional... / *sniff*...
Himeko: Man, this guy's a piece of work!!

7
Bossun: First things first... right now, you're too obscure to be popular. // What we need to do is get you to make an impression on everybody, and see how things go from there, right?
Uchida: Well... I guess...
Bossun: Well, then, we've got the perfect chance right here, haven't we? // The Number One Contest! // Obviously, our real objective is "Mister Popular", but any of these will do. / You've gotta win Number One in one of these categories, and get a medal! // That'll be sure to at least get everyone's attention!
Himeko: Ahh, good idea!!
Bossun: So the first thing you have to do is decide which one of the categories you want to win, and then you'll have to put in some real effort to win it. / You up for that?
Uchida: Yeah... / After all, I was just thinking that I'd like to be able to win one of those... // I - I'll do it.

8
Bossun: All right, then you can leave the rest to us!! // We'll be your master producers! // Now we've got that sorted...! Which one are you gonna go for?
Himeko: Gotta be this one. No. 1 Mr. Strong.
Bossun: That sounds a bit hard...
Himeko: But if I train him crazy hard for a whole week...!
Bossun: I think the kid would just die if you did that... // Oh, I've got a good plan to make him seem like a real strongman! / First of all, Himeko, you have to pretend to be being chased by a bad guy...
Himeko: We tried that one already, remember?!!
Bossun: That's why we have to spend the week practising and making sure the routine's perfect!
Himeko: I'm tellin' ya, there's no point! / We need a more natural sort of setup to pull that off!
Uchida: .........
Himeko: The important thing here is the "gap". / If an ordinary, weak-lookin' sorta guy turns out to be really strong... // That's gonna make a real impact! // Like, for instance, if he was... // A kendo master!

9
Shinzou: I accept your proposal.
Himeko: Okay, so you're gonna have a duel with Shinzou, right? / We're gonna publicise it and do it in front of everyone. // And then Shinzou's gonna lose!
Shinzou: Indeed!
Bossun: ...Why the hell was that so easy?
Himeko: You sure you can do this? You've gotta make it look natural, y'know? / If it looks forced or anythin', that'd be terrible...
Shinzou: Hahahah... To whom to you think you are speaking?
Himeko: You, I'm talkin' to you. / And man, you could stop speakin' like that...
Shinzou: Ah, since the days of my youth, many a time have I witnessed my father being cut down in his various period pieces... / Playing the losing side is my speciality!!!
Bossun: (What, he was an extra?)
Himeko: (He was an extra...?)
Switch: He was an extra? lol.
Himeko: HE SAID IT OUT LOUD!!
Bossun: All right, let's start the rehearsal!! / Go for it, Uchida!!!
Uchida: Guaaaaaahhhh!!!
Shinzou: Guaaaaaaghhhhh!!!

10
Bossun: Ahhh!!
Shinzou: Uuuuuughhhh...!! // Nnn... gh... // Ugh... // ......... /// Ngh... // Ghh... // Naaaaaay!!!
Himeko: Dammit, just fall over already!!!
Bossun: Ugh, we just can't work with this guy...!!!

11
Switch: The sort of people who are receiving a lot of attention these days seem to be those with a wide range of knowledge. // Perhaps we should focus on his mental ability, and attempt to win the Mister Otaku prize.
Bossun: How would we do that, then?
Switch: We'll use the lunchtime broadcast. // Yesterday, Yagi-san asked me if I could make an appearance on the student discussion corner broadcasting tomorrow lunchtime. / I'll be appearing alongside Otakura-kun from the Anime Society, and discussing the theme of "Animation Today and in the Future".]
Himeko: Huh, you get up to a lot of stuff!!
Switch: If we could get Uchida to appear on that broadcast, we could give the whole school an impression of him as an otaku. / Naturally, I will gather the relevant details so that he can appear knowledgeable on the subject.
Himeko: Wh... whaddaya think?
Bossun: I'm not sure if this is the sort of thing you'd want to go for...?
Uchida: No... I'll give it a go!

12
Yagi: On today's "Kaimei High School Lunchtime Show", we'd like to bring you all a special student discussion corner. // The theme is "Animation Today and in the Future". // Well, then, let's introduce today's guests...
Himeko: Doesn't look like Yagi-chan's too interested in the theme...
Bossun: Well, it's always hard to tell what she's thinking, but yeah, she really doesn't seem all that interested.
Yagi: First of all, we have the head of the Anime Club, from Class 2-D, Otakura-kun.
Otakura: Hello. / Thank you for the kind introduction.
Yagi: Secondly, from class 2-C, we have Usui-kun, of the Sket-dan.
Switch: Pleased to be here.
Yagi: And from the same class, we have Uchida-kun.
Uchida: T - thank you...
Yagi: Well, then, let us begin.
Otakura: Well, when it comes to anime, in my own personal opinion, very little has truly changed since the beginnings of the industry, although it is true that on the production side of things, attempts to cater to the fans' preferences have become more prevalent.
Switch: That's simply catering to the needs of the industry; it is only natural in a commercial system. The present circumstances in which, thanks to this phenomenon, the numbers of satisfied fans have increased, can be said to stand as a symbol of the otaku culture in Japan today.

13
Otakura: Well, what I'm essentially trying to put forward is the question of whether, for instance, the success of the "moe" phenomenon, intentionally developed by Suemasu, should really be considered in a positive light.
Switch: Well, I feel that there is a deep significance in the way the "Nervous" series has pushed the boundaries of the superhero genre by avoiding the trap of taking it to the point where audiences can no longer empathise with the characters. Indeed, I would propose that this suggests precisely the opposite of this supposed fan-serving attitude.
Otakura: Oh, no, no, no, that is positively ridiculous! Did you even watch the sixth episode of that series?
Switch: Two hundred or so times.
Otakura: Well, then, just think of the way the highlights were integrated into that famous scene! Looking at that, one can't avoid feeling that the producers were approaching the scene with a clear sense of "Yeah, you guys like that sort of stuff, don't you?"
Switch: You need to stop clinging to the characters and develop an ability to look at the product as a whole. / That particular scene was a masterpiece wrought through a miraculous chemical reaction of pinpoint direction and production. Don't confuse the matter by trying to twist it into the moe controversy, you foolish otaku.
[box: Note: You don't actually have to read all this.]
[TN: Unfortunately, I did have to read all that. And attempt to translate it. I hope I wasn't too off @_@]
Otakura: What? What was that? Hah! I don't want to hear that as an insult from somebody who is clearly an otaku himself...!!
Yagi: All right, that's all we've got time for today. / Good day, everyone.
Himeko: You complete idiot!! / Whaddaya think you were doin' in there blatherin' like a maniac?!! Uchida didn't get a single word in!!!
Switch: Well, you know... If the other guy hadn't been quite so persistent...
Bossun: THIS WAS YOUR DAMN IDEA, SO HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION!!!

14
Uchida: No, it was all my fault, really... // You finally gave me an opportunity like that, and I...
Bossun: But either way... strength and knowledge, those things were never really your strong points in the first place, so maybe that was never going to work. // What are you really good at? Surely there's something that you have an interest in or whatever?
Uchida: I... I don't really...
Bossun: It can be anything, you know? / A school subject you're good at? Anything?
Uchida: ............... // Well, now that you mention it... I suppose I'm quite good at Geography.
Bossun: Geography...? That would be Yamanobe-sensei's area. / That's perfect.
Himeko: What do you mean?

15
Bossun: Well, whenever Yamanobe-sensei's calling on people in class, he always asks "Does anybody know?", doesn't he? // Well, nobody ever answers, though, so he always ends up calling on people by their student number or whatever. // Why don't you try putting up your hand when he calls and actually answering the questions?
Himeko: Huh? / Is that it?
Bossun: Oh, that should be plenty, I'd say. // The whole point of this is to find some way you can stand out from the ordinary. / If you can just find one thing, that can become the trigger for people to start getting a more positive impression of you. / The important thing is whether or not you have the courage to raise your hand in class like that.
Uchida: Yeah... / I'm pretty sure I should be able to manage that much. // Thank you! / I'll give it a shot.

16
Yamanobe: Okay. / So now I'd like you to take a look over here. / My, China certainly is a big place.
Bossun: You ready? / Soon as he asks a question, you have to stick your hand in the air.
Uchida: Y... yeah. // (Damn... // This shouldn't be any big thing... // So why am I getting all nervous...?)
Yamanobe: Okay. / Ahh, so, let's see... / Is there anybody here... // ...who knows the answer?
Bossun: Go for it!!

17
Uchida: (Right now! // Lift it up! // It's not a hard thing to do! // Nobody ever raises their hands, though... // If I was wrong, I'd be so embarrassed... // Everybody would be looking at me...)
Yamanobe: Doesn't look like there's anybody. // Okay, then, let's see... Student number 15...

18
Uchida: I guess I'm... / ...just useless. // I can't even raise my hand in a class. // And I'm talking about becoming popular...? // Huh, I'm disgusted with myself...
Bossun: No, we know it's a difficult thing to do. In a situation like that, being the only one to raise your hand... / Let's start with something a little easier.
Himeko: That's right! / We don't have to get all worked up over that Number One Contest, we should take this more slowly.
Uchida: ............... // No, that's... / ...just no good.

19
Bossun: Hm? // What's that?
Uchida: Ah, just a second... // Hello?
Phone: Is that Takaaki-san? / This is the Yokota Hospital. // Your mother's condition has suddenly become... // We need you to come over to the hospital immediately.
Bossun: Hey. / What's up, Uchida? // Uchida?!