Sket Dance 46

1
[insert text: Finally we're back to the clubroom! Feels good to be home...]
Takako: ...So basically... // I told my father, who works as a newspaper reporter, about you guys, and he seemed pretty interested. / He says he wants to write an article on you! // It's only a small article, in a local newspaper, but he wants to get photos and conduct an interview! // In fact, we already went and got permission from the school - he'll be coming straight here to this room at five o'clock. / It's not a bad deal, so you'll work with us, right?
Bossun/Himeko: Ahh...
Bossun: Of course we'd like to help you out with your article!
Himeko: But man, that's a Newspaper Club member for ya... she managed to tell us the whole thing all nice and concise-like...
Takako: Thank you. / I do think tempo is important.
Bossun: But now we're one panel short! // ...........
Himeko: ... / What, we're just gonna do nothing?!

2
Sket Dance
Chapter 46: A Hundred Hairstyles In The Clubroom
[insert text: Ah, we haven't seen a pose like this for a while, either!! This really is what the Sket-dan is all about... wait, is it?!]

3
Himeko: ...............
Bossun: Right!
Himeko: Whaddaya mean, "Right!"? You're standin' way too far forward!! / Can't we just line up straight or somethin'?
Bossun: Ah, quit complaining! I'm the leader! You're just the small fry! // Hell, I could've just taken the shot on my own!
Himeko: Like hell you could! Hell, you should put the lone lady out front! / Now move it!
Bossun: Aw, no!
Himeko: Switch.
Bossun: I don't wanna! // NOOOOO!! // STOP THAT!!
Switch: Now, now. Why don't we make a nice compromise and have me in the centre?
Himeko: THE HELL KINDA COMPROMISE IS THAT?!!
Bossun: And why the hell should YOU get centre stage?!
Switch: ...Because I have glasses.
Himeko: ...Yeah, so what?! What's that got to do with it?!
Bossun: That only works for The Alfee, okay?!!
Switch: ...Gyaruru.
Bossun: No! The glasses-girl in Gyaruru ISN'T in the centre!!

4
Bossun: Surely Gal Sone is always in the centre!
Himeko: ......... // Bossun... // Your hair's really grown.
Bossun: Huh? // Huh... / I guess I haven't had it cut in a while...
Himeko: That's terrible... / And just when we're gonna have a photoshoot an' all!
Bossun: I don't see what's wrong with it! The frontman in The Alfee has the longest hair of all of them!
Himeko: THAT'S TOTALLY THE GUY ON THE RIGHT!!
Himeko: C'mon, let's see you without the hat!
Bossun: Hey - // Stop - / STOP THAAAAT!
Himeko: Whoa!!!

5
Himeko: That's terrible!!! // So much hair!! / So black!! // And it's all so messed-up!!
Bossun: Hey, shaddup!!!
Himeko: Get it cut!! / I'll give you some cash, just go down to the barber's on the corner an' sort it out now!
Bossun: Hell no! I don't need to do that! / What are you, my mother?! // Listen, okay, it's still okay at this sort of length. // It's when it gets a bit longer that the hair starts to get out of control. // Even if you curl one side up... // ...the other side just droops straight down. / That's when it needs cutting.
Himeko: Oh, just cut it already!!
Bossun: Nope! I make an art out of leaving it to the very last minute! / After it's been cut, I look down at how much hair has fallen on the barber's floor, and I claim it for myself.
Himeko: Screw that!! That's not art, that's just weird! / Now you go an' get that hair all nice an' cut by five o' clock! / If you don't go... then I'll have to hunt it myself.
Bossun: "Hunt"?! / Isn't that an... odd choice of word?!

6
Bossun: ......... // So why the hell are you actually cutting my hair, again?
Himeko: What's wrong with that? I'm good at this kinda stuff.
Bossun: Yeah, you always say stuff like that!! And then it turns out you actually suck copious amounts of ass!!
Himeko: So, are you a student? A high-school student perhaps? / And what kind of style would you like today?
Bossun: Oh, come on!! Am I meant to play along with your stupid act, too?! / Stop trying to get the "atmosphere" right and just do it!!
Switch: There we are~! / Manager, I'm done with the shampooing!
Himeko: Oh, good job!
Bossun: Stop playing along!! / Honestly... ah, whatever, I can't even be bothered. / Not with both of you messing around.
Himeko: Now, don't worry - just keep real still and keep your mouth shut, okay, dumbass?!!
Bossun: Owww! Owwwww! // You are going to do a decent job of this, aren't you?! It's my hair, I can't have you screwing it over completely!!
Himeko: I said don't worry! I'm just gonna trim the bits that are getting out of hand! // Now, then...

7
Himeko: (Gotta start with those... // Ugh... // ...kinda pisses me off... // These aren't even just sticking-out bits... they're freaking monsters... // Gotta cut 'em off. // Aghh... // I went and made it all short... // Crap... gotta make the other side match!! // Gahhh!!! // I've failed already!!!)

8
Himeko: Switch...
Switch: Yes. // This would appear to be a desperate situation. // There is nothing for it now but to cut it all in such a way that your mistake at the sides is no longer noticeable.
Himeko: Yeah... I guess you're right. / Yeah, better do that. Here goes!
Bossun: Huh... / You're really going at it! // Maybe you're not so bad at this after all! // Yeah, you've totally got a real rhythm going with those scissors. / Maybe you should think about going into a career in this kind of thing! // Anyway, just try not to cut too much off, yeah? / After all, once you've gone too far, there's no going back.
Himeko: Th...
Bossun: Hm?

9
Bossun: What was that?
Himeko: Oh, nothing. / Nothing at all. // (Th... // There's no going back!!! // This is bad... // It's like a freakin' savannah!! // And what's this stupid baldy bit?!! // Was that even my fault?!! How did it end up like this?! // I'm so sorry, Bossun... I've screwed up... // I sure do hate my own awkwardness... // But if I give up, I'm accepting that it's all over. // I can still do this!!)

10
Switch: Himeko... / That's enough.
Himeko: (Switch...)
Switch: You've done enough.
Himeko: (No...! I'm gonna cry!!) // Wh... What do I do? / I've really gone an' done it now...
Switch: Yes. I can no longer bear to watch. / We must do something quickly before this tragedy becomes even worse.
Himeko: Well, you can say that, but now I've cut it off, it ain't gonna just come back...
Switch: Yes, well, I think I may have an idea... // Chuu-san's medicine. // That concoction of his that makes people younger was originally intended as a super-powerful hair tonic. / We may be able to use it to restore his hair to normal.
Himeko: Ahh... / Good idea. // THAT'S OUR SWITCH!! / I'm gonna go ask Chuu-san about it now!! / You just stay there and buy me a little time, got that?!!!
Switch: Roger that.

11
Chuu: Sure. / I've got some. // I just recently finally managed to adapt that youth potion into this - "Tokolotion Ten"! // It makes hair grow back just like tokoroten!
[TN: Tokoroten is a Japanese snack-dish; I think the most concise description would be "jelly noodles". But the point is the way they're made - you push the jelly through a box which has a net at the other end, so that it squirts out in noodly form. Hence the comparison. Incidentally, apparently "tokoroten" is also used as a rather worrying sexual term... but let's not go there.]
Himeko: THAT'S IT!! // It won't explode?
Chuu: Probably not.
Himeko: All right then! I'll be borrowin' this!!
Chuu: Huh? But I haven't got it quite perfected just yet -
Himeko: Oh, forget that!! I don't care just as long as it'll grow the hair back!!
Switch: ......And so... / For some reason, Bossun, you were there in the middle of my primary-school class... // And when I went out into the corridor, the shark from before came swimming through the air... / ...and it really surprised me...
Bossun: Hey! / Is this gonna go on much longer? / I can't stand listening to people talk about their dreams or whatever... it just gets weird and confusing... // Where's Himeko gone off to, anyway?!! Just leaving me here like this!
Himeko: I'm here!! Now, back to work, back to work!!

12
Himeko: (First things first... put this medicine... // ...here on that bald spot... // ...and wait...) // !!!!! // AAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Bossun: Whaaa?!!!
Himeko: SO GROOOSS!!!
Bossun: Whaaat?!!
Himeko: Aaaaghhh!! It's still growi~~~ng!!
Bossun: Growing?! What's growing?!! / What're you going on about, huh?!!

13
Bossun: Wh... What the hell is this?!!! // You must've been TRYING to royally screw up to come up with THIS crap!! And what the hell is that long bit?!! Is that even my hair?! / Ugh, that's kinda gross!! // How the hell did THIS happen?!!!
Himeko: Well, I just put Chuu-san's "Tokolotion Ten" on this little bald spot on your head and it sprouted out like this...
Bossun: What d'you think you're doing with other people's heads?!!! // I mean, seriously, give me a break already!! / What am I meant to be like this?! A Jedi Padawan or something?!! // I'm not doing any stupid articles looking like this, that's for sure!!
Switch: At any rate, if we simply apply this medicine to his entire scalp, we should be able to return his hair to its former state. // And even if we fail, we can simply grow more, so there is nothing to fear.
Bossun: Whaddaya mean "nothing to fear"...?! My head isn't some toy of yours or anything, you know...
Himeko: Right... I'm putting it on.
Switch: Apply it thoroughly all over...
Himeko: And then, we wait.

14
Himeko: Whoa! // Aaaaaghhh, Bossu~~~~~~~~~n!!!
Bossun: Huh?! What? What do I look like now?! Everything suddenly went all black!!
Switch: Do not worry. There is something horror-esque about it, but it certainly has grown.
Bossun: Right! Now, first of all, I'd like you to just cut it back down to its original length.
Himeko: ...Don't do that, you look like a customer pushin' open the curtains and walkin' into a barber's... // Right... here goes!
Bossun: Don't cut it too short again!
Switch: We really aren't seeing your face very much.
Himeko: That should do it!
Switch: Yes, this is a good start. Now we just need to carefully trim it bit by bit until he looks like the good old Bossun again.
Himeko: I'm gettin' pretty used to these scissors now, so I think I can handle it.
Switch: Hearing you say that, I too feel myself suddenly brimming with an incredible confidence.
Himeko: Right, then - you handle that side. // I'll do this half.
Switch: Roger.

15
Himeko: Whew... // All done.
Bossun: LIKE HELL IT IS!!! // What part of this looks "done", huh?!!! No, I should've expected this!! I mean, you went and did the stupid cutting together!! You even split it into halves and did one half each!! // I mean, I just thought "Hmm?" and let it go at the time... / ...but I knew it would end up like this if I let the two of you do it!!!
Himeko: Well, you know, I would apologise... / ...but that was so long. / Comebacks just shouldn't drag on like that.
Bossun: Aghh...
Switch: Does having long hair make his comebacks longer as well?
Bossun: What's wrong with you people?!! // Stop screwing around and FIX IT!! // Bring back the Tokolotion Ten!!

16
Himeko: Ughh!! // I can't stand it... when it just spurts everywhere like that... it's just scary...
Bossun: Oh, just hurry up and cut it down to that "starting style" again.
Switch: We're getting used to this now, so it won't take too long. // There we go.
Himeko: That's nice an' neat. Hell, why don't we just leave it like this? // I mean, it was basically like this to start with.
Bossun: You guys are just getting worse and worse...
Switch: This time, I will do the job on my own.
Himeko: Whoa... you're gonna use two pairs of scissors?
Switch: I feel the most important thing when cutting hair is maintaining a perfect left-right balance. // I'm ambidextrous, so if I use one pair of scissors in each hand, I can ensure a perfectly balanced shape in the finished product.

17
Switch: How's that?
Bossun: Hey there! I'm Bosu! // Man... there sure are a lot of tough guys in the world... ...YOU IDIOT!!!! / Being ambidextrous doesn't have the slightest thing to do with being able to cut hair!! What are you meant to be, Scissorhands?!!
Himeko: Another giant comeback!!
Bossun: Come on, get a grip already, both of you!! / We have to get this stuff back to normal before five o'clock, remember?!!!
Himeko: I know! I know, okay?!!
Switch: We still have plenty of tonic left. We can start over as many times as necessary.
Bossun: Now, don't screw up this time...
Himeko: Aaand... CUT!!
Switch: First, back to the "starting style".
Himeko: Hey, we should time ourselves!
[box: And so...]

18
[box: The Great Bossun Haircut Operation...]
Bossun: Yeah, yeah! That's it! That's pretty damn good, actually... wait, you made the WHOLE THING OUT OF HAIR?!!!
[box: ...went through one failure after another...]
Bossun: Ahh... I must escape, no matter what, for to appease my lord's regrets... / ...You're not even TRYING to make it like it was any more, are you?!!!
Himeko: It's funny when he gets all in-character!
[box: ...and in the process, Bossun's head went through a number of extraordinary transformations.]
Himeko: That's right - put that left-over bit into a braid... // ...and then we just have to make his beard grow out as well...
Bossun: What am I, a ramen man?!!
[box: Forced to grow over and over again through the influence of the drug, Bossun's head gained newfound strength... // ...becoming harder...]
Bossun: ...Is it just me, or has this stuff gone all stiff?
[box: ...curlier...]
Bossun: Huh? Isn't it doing that a little... more than usual?
[box: ...and even simply growing and growing, forgetting to pause in between.]
Bossun: Hey, this stuff just keeps on coming!! / WHYYY?!
Himeko: E...Ew!! / So gross!! // It's creepy!! So creepy!! / Get away from me, you monster!! // SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEE!!!

19
Bossun: You got that, guys?! We decided it fairly with rock-paper-scissors, so no complaining! // I'm in the centre. Okay?!
Switch: No objections here. Let us take our positions.
Himeko: Yeah, well, you can say "positions", but we're gonna have to squat, no two ways about it...
Photographer: Right! Thank you very much! // And my, this does seem like it will be an interesting article! / I hope you all look forward to it!
[Corner: Crazy Neighbours]
[right: Introducing the Super-Gigantic-Afro-Man]
[Title: Bizarre! It's the perm that just won't stop growing!]
Bossun: Oh, yeah, this is good stuff... thanks to this crazy hairstyle... well, we certainly made an impression... / ...Wait, didn't the focus of the article kind of change?!!!
[insert text: That proud face with that hair... it's a little pathetic!]
[bottom text: Next issue, that character arrives with a request...?! And the key to it all is... a little hocus-pocus?!]