Sket Dance 48

1
[insert text: The handicrafts room... tonight, something seems to be going on in this minor classroom...?!]
J-Son: Friday the Thirteenth. // Today, we begin work on making products out of wood. // When you need to cut your wood, you can use the handheld saws. But if you feel the need to cut through a particularly thick piece, you just ask me. // I'll cut it for you with the electrical circular saw.
Yabasawa: J-Son-sensei's face really is kind of awful... / I just can't get used to it... // ...and he has that nasty black fog hanging around him...
Switch: Yes, it looks like he's wearing a mask, but that's actually his real face.
J-Son: While we're at it, let me show you just how the circular saw is used. // Everybody, make sure to pay close attention.
[sFX: BZZZZZZZZZZ]

2
[sFX: (all over the page) BZZZZZZZZZZZZ]
Yabasawa: TOO GAWFUL!!! // (That was so awful that I even accidentally went and used an extra-special-awful word to describe it!!)
J-Son: The electric circular saw is one of the most dangerous power tools. It is incredibly important to take extreme care as all times when using it. // Most dangerous of all is the kickback effect. If you place the spinning blades under too much pressure... // ...the saw itself can shoot backwards, straight into the person using it. // An arm or two could easily get ------ by it.
[TN: The missing words are covered up by the SFX.]
People: Hey... what did he say just then...? // Could you please stop turning it on and off like that...?
J-Son: Kickback is particularly likely to occur if the blades of the saw get caught in the wood and become unable to move. // If that happens, the thing to do is to carefully turn off the saw without applying too much pressure. / And you have to be careful when you're turning the saw back on to continue cutting. Don't just turn the switch back on, or...

3
Sket Dance
Chapter 48: The Great Marriage Interview Opera-son
[TN: That's a combination of "Operation" and "Jason", in case you can't figure ~_~ And for the record, he has an annoying habit of ending words in "son" or "so", which doesn't translate. At all. So I'm going to ignore it. Except for one instance which seems to be particularly common. But I'm getting ahead of myself.]
[insert text: So this time we're going for a horror feel...?!]
J-Son: !!!
People: !!!
J-Son: AAAAAAGHHH!!!!
People: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

4
Bossun: Hey... / That's good! // They're not half bad, Himeko, these cookies of yours!
Himeko: Really?!
Bossun: Yeah. // You wouldn't think they're home-made.
Switch: And the Sket mark is rather well-made there, as well. For Himeko, that is. // She's a good cook, and very motherly... I think Himeko will make a great housewife someday.
Bossun: Yeah, she sure will! // Why don't you marry me in ten years or so? Hahahah!
Himeko: Wh... What the hell?!! Whaddaya think you're sayin'?! Are you tryin' to be funny or somethin', huh?!!
Bossun: Hm? What? Of course it's a joke...
Himeko: Oh, so it's a JOKE?!!

5
Himeko: Ugh, the little brat... he really pisses me off sometimes... / You just don't say stuff like that to a girl!
Switch: Oh, look, now she's doing the cleaning, lol.
Bossun: Oi! No brushing dust around the place when people are trying to eat, you stupid woman!!
Himeko: What was that, you damn moron?!! / You've got a funny idea of delicacy!! Are you TRYIN' to start something?!! // That's it. You're comin' with me.
Bossun: Ahh - ! / Ah - ! / No... no...! I don't wanna!
Himeko: I'm gonna beat you around along with that damn dust! // Switch! Get me Cyclone!! Now!!!
Bossun: Aaaghhhhhhhh!!!

6
Bossun: Guaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!
Himeko: Aaaaaaaaaghhhhhhh!!!
Switch: J-Son-sensei?
Bossun: J...? ......... / "Sensei"?!
J-Son: I'm very son-rry... // ...if I frightened you.
Bossun/Himeko: N - no... we're the ones who should be... son-rry...

7
Switch: Bossun and Himeko, you wouldn't know him, of course, since you don't study Handicrafts. / This is the Handicrafts teacher, Son Jun'ichi-sensei. // But most of the students affectionately refer to him as J-Son-sensei.
Himeko: I'm real sorry about back there.
Bossun: I just kind of... got terrified out of my wits or something...
J-Son: Oh, no, it's all right... I'm used to it. // It doesn't bother me at all...
Bossun: Huh?! / He's gone all depressed!
Himeko: He ain't "used to it" at all!!
Switch: J-Son-sensei has a heart of fragile glass. His feelings are incredibly easily hurt, so be careful.
Bossun: Okay, there's a limit to "not judging a book by its cover"!!
J-Son: Incidentally, I just can't stand horror movies.
Himeko: The hell is that?!! // Try takin' a look in a freakin' mirror sometime!!
J-Son: ............
Bossun: Ahh... / Look, you hurt his feelings.
Himeko: I'm son-rry. I'm really, really son-rry...

8
Bossun: Ohh? / A marriage interview, huh~?
Himeko: Sensei, you're having an arranged marriage interview?
J-Son: That's right... I'm supposed to be meeting the girl tomorrow... // But the truth is, I've had plenty of these interviews before already... / But they never seem to... uh... end very well...
Flashback!J-Son: Ahhh... Uhh... I, ah... // So, uh, do you have any h - h - hobbies...? // !!
Flashback!Girl: Oww!
Flashback!J-Son: Ahhh!!! // Ahh... / I - ah - uh - ahhh - aaahhhh... // I - I'm son-rry!!!
Flashback!Girl: Aaaaaahhhh!!!

9
Flashback!J-Son: Y - You're not hurt or anything, are you?!!
Flashback!Girl: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
J-Son: I've been through a long string of failures, but I want to make sure I succeed this time somehow... // I mean, I'm getting on a little in years now, and I'd like my parents to have grandkids someday... // W - Well, anyway, I'm sure my looks have been a factor in all those failures, but I think my nervous personality is a big factor as well... // When I get too nervous, I just lose it completely sometimes... I just don't know what I'm meant to do any more... so I thought I'd come and talk to you guys...
Himeko: I see...
Bossun: Gotcha. We'll help you out, J-Son-sensei. // Mmm, yeah... I don't think it's just your face itself that's scary. You have this scary sort of stiff expression as well. / It just doesn't seem to... move... // It really does look just like you're wearing a hockey mask... that is your real face, right?
Himeko: Yeah, just look at all those spots... and what's with the symmetry?!
Bossun: Hey, why don't you try giving us a smile?
J-Son: A... A smile?
Bossun: That's right! Smiles are important! C'mon, give it a go!

10
[sFX: smile]
Himeko: THAT AIN'T NO SMILE!!! // You just made the "smile" sound-effect!! / Hell, a smile even havin' a sound-effect is weird in the first place!!
Bossun: C'mon, you can do better than that! Give us a real smile!!
J-Son: I... I am smiling!! Look... I am! // Watch the edges of my mouth carefully. // See?
Himeko: It hardly moved at all!! // That's no good, no good at all!! No-one can even tell you're smilin'!!
J-Son: But I really am! And I'm always smiling and laughing when I'm at home! // Like when I watch those comedy programs I love so much... ahhh...
[sFX: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah]
Himeko: Agh!! What's with that scary laugh?!!!
Bossun: Aw, crap... / He's depressed again...
Himeko: This is pissin' me off!!

11
Bossun: Hey, here's something I've noticed, J-Son-sensei - your body's big and all, but your voice is pretty quiet. // It's like you're lowering your voice; it just helps make you sound scarier. // How about you try and speak a bit more clearly? You might be able to turn your "scariness" into "manliness"...
Himeko: That's it!!
Bossun: Okay, let's practice. Repeat this after me. // I'm a teacher of Handicrafts at a high school!! Would you believe it, because I look like this, all my students call me "J-Son-sensei"!! Hahahahahaha!!
Himeko: Pfft...! // That was a pretty funny little act there, Bossun! / But no, it was pretty good, y'know? A nice, manly, upbeat sort of teacher!
Bossun: Right! Go on, Sensei, you give it a go! Give it some energy!
J-Son: Okay... // I... I'm a...
Bossun: No good!! // You need to speak louder!!
J-Son: I'm...!! / I'm a teacher who chops up pieces of wood...!!
Bossun: What?!
Himeko: Dammit...! It's just a practice, but he's already getting nervous!
J-Son: And - and thanks to my accursed appearance... // ...the students have a special name for me...
Bossun: .....................

12
J-Son: They call me... "J-Son-sensei"!!!
Bossun: NO~~~~!!!
J-Son: Ahahahahahahahahah!
Himeko: No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!
Bossun: WHO'S GONNA MARRY THAT?!!!
J-Son: I... I'm son-rry...
Himeko: Hell, you'd probably have better luck at a meeting of horror-movie geeks or something...
Switch: Perhaps we could attempt to make use of the gap?
Bossun: "Gap"?
Switch: The large gap between his appearance and his personality could be treated as his own unique kind of charm. / Instead of attempting to force manliness upon him, perhaps we could approach this issue from an entirely different angle?
Himeko: That's it!!
Bossun: J-Son-sensei... do you have any special skills? / Something surprising would be good.
J-Son: A special skill... // W... Well, let's see.........

13
J-Son: I'm good at doing vocal imitations.
Bossun: Vocal imitations?
Himeko: That IS surprising!! // But yeah, that's good, a simple thing like that could work! That's totally playing to the "gap"!
Bossun: So what, are we talking train noises, or insect noises, or something? Let's hear it!
J-Son: Okay... // Well, here goes...... // I'll do the disturbing sound-effects found in Japanese horror movies.
[side: Whaaaaaaaaa~~~~?!!!]
[TN: Yeah, okay, he does the creepy sound effects, you get the idea :p]
Bossun: WHO'S GONNA MARRY THAT?!!!

14
Bossun: Why did you have to pick a noise like that?!! / Hell, weren't you just telling us before how you can't stand watching horror movies?!
J-Son: Well, they terrify me... but somehow I end up watching them anyway...
Himeko: Well, I guess that's kinda understandable...
J-Son: Anyway, allow me to present "disturbing sound effects from Japanese horror movies, round 2"!
Himeko: Oh, give it up already!!
[Text: And so, the following day...]
OldWoman: Right, then, hohoho... I think I'll leave you young 'uns to get to know each other better, hohoho... // So... shall we just leave this to the lovely young couple, yes? / I'm sure our little intruders will just vanish in the blink of an eye, hohohohoho...

15
Woman: ............... // ............ // Ah... ehm...
Bossun: Oh, no! // Please, don't pay any attention to us! Really!
Himeko: Yeah, we just love J-Son-sensei so damn much... / ...we told him we just had to come along, no matter what...
Switch: We are certainly not here because he asked us to accompany him!
Silence: ............
Bossun: C'mon, Sensei! Say something already! Go through the pleasantries! / And keep your voice up!
J-Son: O... Okay...

16
J-Son: T - T... Today!! Today is a very fine day!!
Bossun: (Aghh! He's going crazy nervous already!!)
J-Son: And! For you have to come through this terrible weather!
Bossun: (Fine?! Terrible?! Which is it?!)
J-Son: Simply to meet with a humble man such as myself!
Himeko: (Ah, crap... that sweat just ain't normal!!)
J-Son: I must express my deepest gratitude!!!
Woman: Aaaaaaaghhhhhhhh!!! // Aaaaaaaaghhhhhhh!!
Bossun: Noooooooooooooooo!!! // This is just no good!! Time out!! Sensei, are you all right?!
Himeko: The blood's just pouring out!! The hell's up with this guy?!!
Switch: Bossun. In anticipation of an occurrence of this nature, I took the liberty of preparing a first-aid kit.
Bossun: You really are something!!
Himeko: How the hell d'you predict somethin' like that?!!
Bossun: Anyway, let's get that bleeding stopped! // We need bandages! Bandages!

17
J-Son: I... I'm son-rry... // I didn't want you to see me like that... // I mean, my frightening appearance must be bad enough...
Woman: Son-san. // You do know that I came here having already seen photographs of your face in advance, yes? // Please, do not worry about your appearance so. / I promise, I will not be afraid. // But my, it certainly does seem that your students care about you deeply. // Would you mind if I were to call you "J-Son-sensei" as well?
J-Son: ............ // ...N... // Not at all!! Please, feel free!!
Bossun: (Maybe there was nothing to worry about after all... She seems like a good match for him.)
Himeko: (Yeah, it looks like he's not even so nervous any more...)
Woman: So what exactly is it that you teach at that school of yours?

18
J-Son: I'm...!! I'm a teacher who chops up pieces of wood!!
Bossun: HUH?! // S... Sensei?!
J-Son: I...!! I have a real passion for saws!! // I... I particularly find that the sensation of using an electric saw to slice a block of wood the size of a human in two with a single stroke is simply incomparable!!
Bossun: J-Son-sensei?!
J-Son: And amongst all power tools, I have a particular fondness for the chainsaw!! Its vibrations!! Its sounds!!
Himeko: Crap! His nerves have driven him totally crazy!! What's with this guy?!!
J-Son: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!
Himeko: WHAT'S SO FUNNY, HUH?!!
J-Son: Ahh... of course... I should mention - I have this one particular special talent...
Woman: Talent?
J-Son: W... Would you care to hear it?
Bossun: Huh?!
J-Son: The sound of a chainsaw...

11
Everyone: Aaaaahhhhh!!!!
Bossun: This imitation is no good!!!
Woman: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! // SO SCARYYYYYYYYYYY~~~~~~!!!
[insert text: A true kamikaze!!]