Sket Dance 63

[TN: No, this isn't another mega-completely-up-to-date update like I usually do after I get behind... just two chapters for the moment, since SIN caught me a little off-guard with their sudden slew of scanlations XD More to come soon (tomorrow?), hopefully.]

1
[Insert text: It's the good old clubroom! And today, it's cleaning day!!]
Himeko: *cough* // *cough* / *cough* // The hell's with all this dust?!! // It's like a freakin' afro!! / We're bein' invaded by freakin' dustbunnies! // I figure we ought to have a big clean-out for once, and I find THIS?! I can't believe we've managed to survive in this place...
Bossun: Things only get this way because you don't do a good enough job with the regular cleaning, you know. / Himeko.
Himeko: Why're you lookin' at ME?! We're ALL meant to be responsible for cleaning this place! // Ahhhh, c'mon already, whaddaya think you're doin', splashing all over like that?! // You've gotta squeeze the cloth out properly, ya can't just drip water everywhere! // Look, ya do it like this, okay? Nice an' tight. // See?
Switch: Thank you, Mother.
Himeko: Who're you calling mother?!
Bossun: Hm?

2
Sket Dance
Chapter 63: Bad Scientist
[Insert text: The forbidden cardboard box is about to be opened...?!]
Bossun: What was in this box again...? // Nnnnghhhhh!
Himeko: Oh, you're hopeless...!
Bossun: This thing's heavy!! / What the heck have you got in there?! // Switch, it's gotta be some of your junk, right?!
Switch: No, it is not. That box contains some precious possessions of mine.
Bossun: So it IS yours!!
Switch: Failed inventions, to be precise.
Bossun: Hm?
Himeko: Inventions?

3
Bossun: Come to think of it, I do see you making some weird things now and again... / Not that I've ever really seen you actually using them... // I remember you used them back in the oneshot... / But yeah, I thought that idea must've been scrapped or something.
Oneshot!Bossun: [can't read first bubble text too small] / Tobikage.
Oneshot!Himeko: That's some screwed-up taste right there...
Oneshot!Bossun: Go, Tobikage!!
Oneshot!Himeko: It's kinda gross...
Oneshot!Bossun: All right~!!!
Oneshot!Himeko: SO GROSS!!!
Himeko: ENOUGH ABOUT THE FREAKIN' ONESHOT ALREALDY!!
Switch: I wasn't sure what to do with them, so I just packed them all away into this box. / There may even be things in there we could find a use for.
Bossun: Seriously?
Himeko: That sure sounds worth a look...
Bossun/Himeko: (Urgh...)
Bossun: Uh... I just found what looks like the head of a life-sized figurine... / Should I... just pretend I never saw it...?
Himeko: THE HELL KIND OF "INVENTION" IS THAT?!!
Switch: That is not a figurine. That is "Fu-Fu-Fuuka-chan". I originally made her to give to Otakura-kun.
Bossun: ...What's he going on about?
Himeko: He's starting to piss me off...

4
Switch: Well, why don't you try her out? / Here we have an ordinary cup-ramen. // Simply place Fuuka-chan beside the cup... // And activate.
Fuuka: Ooh, that ramen looks hot! // Don't want to burn yourself now!

5
Fuuka: Is it nice and cooled down now?
Bossun: THAT'S JUST CREEPY!!! // Who needs a thing like this?!! / You really do have some pretty screwed-up taste!! // How am I meant to relax and eat my ramen with this thing staring at me?!
Fuuka: Al-dente noodles in rich soup?
[TN: That's "men-kata kotteri"... Could be a Maximum the Hormone reference? (They have a radio show and a song by that name...)]
Bossun: Aw, shaddup! Make this thing stop already!
Switch: I made it for Otakura-kun, but in the end he just called it "creepy" and gave it back.
Otakura: Sorry, no go. lol
Bossun: Wow, that's kinda nasty.
Himeko: Actually kinda pisses me off coming from him...
Bossun: But yeah... we don't exactly need this thing hanging around.
Himeko: It's so creepy that it's just a head... just throw it out!
Switch: Wait a moment. It upsets me a little to have it rejected as "creepy". / How about this one, then? // It's the second instalment of my "Head Series"!!
Bossun: "Head Series"...?
Switch: It isn't robotic this time. The idea was to make a designer-style bag; I thought long and hard about the design. // In the end I decided to combine the stylish functionality of the knapsack with the vivid colours of the mandrill, creating...

6
Switch: ...the "Knaprill".
[TN: ...so tempting to call it the "Mansack"... >_<]
Bossun/Himeko: SO CREEPY!!!
Bossun: Come on, that's just nasty! Is there seriously something wrong with you?!! / ...Hell, you just made it because you thought the name sounded funny, didn't you?!!
Himeko: I can't take it anymore! Get that thing away from me! / That's not a bag, that's not anything, that's just... aghh!!
Switch: I assure you, it is a bag.
Himeko: DON'T OPEN UP THE HEAD~~~!!!
Switch: Incidentally, the face is made of an elastic material, so it's very flexible.
Himeko: Please! Stop it! It's just too realistic!!
Switch: What's more... // You can even insert things from the front.
Himeko: AAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!
[TN: ...I found a thread on 2ch asking "would you actually buy one of these"...]
Bossun: SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR TASTES?!! / What kind of statement are you trying to make with a thing like this?!!
Switch: Don't worry!☆ Even I couldn't bring myself to actually use this one.
Himeko: Think about these things BEFORE you make it!!

7
Bossun: Ahhh, come on already! What's up with this box?! Isn't there anything better in there? // Honestly... "Head Series"...
Himeko: Hm? What's this? // This sure looks pretty high-tech...
Switch: Ah, you have an eye for quality, I see. // Ladies and gentlemen, behold! This is today's big item!! The "Hover Shoes"!!!
Bossun: Your voice just went high! You've gone all high-pitched, Switch!
Himeko: Oh, drop the act already!!
Switch: Now, I'm sure you're all familiar with the concept of the hovercraft, yes?! / Well, we've taken that incredible power to float above the ground using air alone... and converted it into shoe form!
Bossun: Awesome!!
Himeko: That is pretty cool, but stop talking like that!!
Switch: Observe the sleek and stylish design of the body!!
Himeko: I said QUIT IT!! // But man... this is actually pretty incredible!
Bossun: TOO incredible, if you ask me! // Do these things actually float?
Switch: But of course. // Shall we give them a test run outside?

8
Bossun: Whooooaaa...! // I'm floating!! // I'm actually floating!!
Himeko: Whoooooaa!!! That's incredible! Seriously, you could take a Nobel prize with these things!!
Bossun: Check it! // Check it out~!
Switch: No... I'm afraid there's a fatal flaw in the design.
Himeko: A flaw?
Switch: I originally envisioned this as a kind of skate, a means of gliding effortlessly forward along the ground. // However, since the shoes float in midair... // Propulsion becomes impossible.
Himeko: What kind of stupid flaw is that?!! // Oh, you really are a total dumbass! How's he meant to get anywhere like that?!!
Bossun: Check me out! // Check it! // Am I moving?
Himeko: Bossu~~~~~n!!

9
Switch: Now then, since we're outside, how about we take a look at this next item?
Bossun: Oh, come on, stop talking like everyone's waiting with bated breath or whatever...
Switch: It's the "Cheer-Up Bazooka"!
Bossun: Oh, here we go! This one just STINKS of screwiness from the get-go!
Switch: I'm sure you've all experienced the situation... // ...where you have a friend around forty to fifty metres away from you who's feeling down... // ...and you'd just love to be able to cheer him up.
Bossun: Like hell we have!!
Switch: Perhaps you are familiar with giant party crackers; well, this is like an advanced form of those.
Bossun: Ooh... // That could be kind of interesting! Let's give it a go, then!
Himeko: Wait up; this is a failed invention, right? / Is it all right to use?
Switch: Oh, it fires just fine.
Bossun: All right! / Then what are we waiting for?!
Switch: However. // This "joke product" was originally the result of a little experimentation Chuu-san and I were doing into creating a miniature rocket. / Are you both familiar with Newton's Third Law of Motion?
Bossun/Himeko: ?

10
Switch: If you sit on a wheeled chair on a smooth floor and throw a heavy object forward, your body will move in the opposite direction. // In fact, the rocket engines used in the Space Shuttle and such function on the same principle. // By expelling large quantities of gaseous fuel, the reaction to this action forces the rocket itself in the opposite direction. // Now, this bazooka doesn't fire anything lethal... // ...but the reaction to the forces involved in firing it... // ...will dislocate the shoulders of the wielder.
Bossun: Let's NOT fire it, then!!! // Hell, who would fire that?!! / What's wrong with you?! Why do you make these things?!! / How much force do you even need for a "Cheer-Up Bazooka"?!!
Himeko: Yeah, who the hell wants to cheer someone up 50 metres away THAT much?!!
Switch: Well, then... // This is the real deal; a 100% authentic must-see item. // It's the Tracking Scope Scorpion!!

11
Bossun/Himeko: ............
Switch: The Tracking Scope Scorpion!!
Bossun: Yeah, we heard you.
Himeko: You can shout the name all you want; now where's the catch?
Switch: Don't be like that, now... Just try it out! / Simply equip the Scorpion on your head... // ...select your target... // ...and lock on. // If the target moves... // ...the Scorpion follows it automatically.
Bossun: Whoa - my head moved!!
Switch: And if the target moves further away... // ...the Scorpion automatically zooms in.
Bossun: That's our Switch!!!!
Himeko: This one's actually GOOD!!!

12
Himeko: Hell, you could make real money off this thing!! // This one's a real Nobel Prize-winner! / Let's go celebrate with yakiniku!
Bossun: My head! // It moves!
Switch: No... this too is a failed invention.
Himeko: Why?
Switch: Well... / If the target moves too fast...
Bossun: NGYAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Himeko: Bossu~~~~~~~n!!!
Bossun: It burns... it burns! / My neck... it burns...
Switch: ...This is the result.
Himeko: SAY THESE THINGS SOONER!!
Fuuka: Is it nice and cooled down now?
Himeko: THROW THIS THING AWAY ALREADY!!!

13
Bossun: Honestly, your inventions are just... // ......... / Hm? // What's that over there...? // Isn't that apartment... on fire?!
Himeko: What?!
Bossun: Look! / There's smoke!! // It's a fire!!
Himeko: He's right!!
Bossun: Wait a minute... // I think I just saw something moving... // Lock on!! // Ahh!! / A kid!!

14
Himeko: Oh, crap... oh, crap!! This is bad! / We've gotta help him!!
Bossun: Yeah...! // Shit... the fire's almost upon him! // .................. // !!! // Switch!! // The Knaprill!! // And that bazooka!!
Himeko: ?
Bossun: Stick the bazooka in its mouth!! // Hover on!!

15
Bossun: Rockets work through reactive force, right...? // Looks like there might be some use for this junk after all. // Here I go, then...
Himeko: Standby OK!! // Firing Cheer-Up Bazooka!! // And... GO!!!

16-17
[Banner: Cheer up! We're all cheering for you! Let's go!]
Bossun: AAAAAGHHHHH~~~~~~!!!!
Himeko: What the heck!!! // I can't believe this...!!!
Bossun: Hey!! / Are you all right?!! // JUMP!!!

18
Bossun: Good going, kid. // Are you all right?
Boy: Th... // Thank you!
Bossun: Don't thank me... thank our idiot scientist over there.

19
Mother: I simply cannot thank you enough... / I am in your debt.
Himeko: No biggie, no biggie.
Switch: Helping people out is what my inventions are for.
Himeko: I can't believe you can say that with a straight face!!
Mother: So... where is the young man who saved my son...?
Himeko: Hahahah... // He's having a little trouble stopping.
Fuuka: Is it nice and cooled-down now?
Bossun: Shaddup...! // Owww...
[Insert text: Switch's terrible incredible inventions! Maybe they'll play a role in future operations...?!]
[Bottom text: Next issue, we're taking a look at the Student Council?! What could their everyday life be like?!]