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translation-needs-proofread

Kyoko to Tousan 1

The story of a father and his daughter...

en
+ posted by flunko as translation on Jun 28, 2009 13:20 | Go to Kyoko to Tousan

-> RTS Page for Kyoko to Tousan 1

Page 1
響子と父さん
Kyoko and her dad

父と娘のお話です・・・♪
A father-daughter story...♪

Page 2
お父さんまた庭でカタナ振り回してたでしょ
Kyoko: Dad, were you out in the garden swinging your model sword around again?

・・・あぁ
Dad:..Hmm

あぁじゃなくてっ
Kyoko:What do you mean "hmm"!

マンションから丸見えなんだってうちの庭!
Kyoko:I can see the whole garden from my apartment!

この変で変な事件とかあったら
Kyoko:If there's any strange incidents in the area,

疑われるよ
Kyoko:you'll be the first suspect.

なんだか監視されてるみたいだな・・・
Dad:I feel like I'm under surveillance...

Page 3
目の届く所に住んでるんだから安心でしょう
Kyoko:Aren't you glad I live close enough to keep an eye on you?

キュルルルル
SFX:Whirr... whirr...

そりゃーまぁ・・・
Dad:Well...sure...

けど
Dad:But

パン
SFX:tap

この距離じゃあまりに家賃の無だって思わんか
Dad:Doesn't it seem like a waste of rent money to live so close?

娘=Daughter, 実家=Mum and Dad, マンション=Apartments

いーのよ、私は仕事場が欲しかっただけなんだから
Kyoko:No, I just wanted a place I could do my work.

ピッ
SFX:Beep

キュルルル
SFX:Whirr...

Page 4
あのな
Dad:Anyway,

俺ぁ母さんが留守の間自炊してんだが
Dad:You know, I've been cooking while your mother's been away

パン
SFX:Tap

7泊8日 - スペイン - アンダルシアの旅
8 days 7 nights - Spain - Experience Andalucia

それで気づいたよ
Dad:which made me realise...

菜箸のすごさに・・・
Dad:how amazing cooking chopsticks are...

さいばし?
Kyoko:Cooking chopsticks?

最初、菜箸使うの面倒なんで
Dad:At first, I couldn't be bothered with them

いつもメシ食うのに使ってる箸でラーメン作ったら・・・
Dad:But when I tried making ramen with my usual chopsticks

熱いんだ手が!
Dad:I nearly burnt my hand!

Page 5
そこで次の時少し長めの箸を使ってみたがまだ熱い!
Dad:So next time I tried some longer chopsticks, but it was still hot!

結局三度目からは菜箸を使うハメになった
Dad:So the third time I finally had to use cooking chopsticks

あれは熱くなくかつ使い勝手を殺さない
Dad:It was not too hot, and not awkward to use,

ギリギリの
Dad:Just the perfect

ちょっと!!
Kyoko:Dad!!

インスタントラーメンばっかり食べてるの!?
Kyoko:Have you only been eating instant noodles!?

いや菜箸の・・・
Dad:No, but, the cooking chopsticks...

これだから男の自炊は信用できない!
Kyoko:That's why you can't trust it when men say they've been "cooking"!

さっきから壊れたプレーヤーうっとおしい!!
Kyoko:And that broken CD player is getting anoying!!

こんな音楽なんだよ・・・ラップラップ
Dad:That's just the kind of music it is... rap, rap!

うそつけ!!
Kyoko:Liar!

菜箸の長さから絶妙な距離感の話へ持っていきたかったんだが・・・
Dad:I was just about to segue from the length of chopsticks to talking about staying at the perfect distance...

Page 6
(Shop sign)浦公英 百貨店
Urakoei Department Store

おおっ
Dad:Wow!

おい響子見ろ!! これ額縁かと思ったらテレビだぞ!!
Dad:Oi Kyoko, look!! This picture frame is a TV!!

当たり前でしょ テレビ売り場なんだから!・・・も~~
Kyoko:Of course it is! This is the TV section!...Ahh...

くすくす
SFX:Giggle

Page 7
いつの間にあんなに薄くなったんだろうなぁ?
Dad:When did TVs get so thin?

え?ウチのなんてこんなだぞ
Dad:Hey? Ours is this big!

中間の厚さを飛ばしていきなり薄くなったよなぁ・・・
Dad:They went straight from huge to wafer thin with no in between...

テレビって
Dad:TVs...

まるで突然変異で首が長くなったキリンの進化の謎が
Dad:Just like the mystery of why the giraffe's long neck suddenly evolved...

あのねぇ!
Kyoko:What?!

ブラウン管と液晶じゃ規格が違うんでしょ・・・
Kyoko:CRT and LCD are completely different technology!

ところでなんでデパートなんか連れて来たんだ
Dad:So, why did you drag me out to a department store anyway?

俺は人の多い所と暗くて狭い所が嫌いなんだよ
Dad:I don't like crowds or dark and cramped places.

デパ地下で食料を仕入れるのよ
お父さんロクな物食べないから
Kyoko:To buy food at the basement shopping centre,
'cos you don't eat anything decent.

Page 8
(price tag)マッサージチェア
Massage chair

(price tag)足つぼ押し PANG-II
Foot massager

じー・・・
SFX:Stare

あ
やる?足ツボ
Kyoko:Oh!
Want to give the foot massage a go?

これ痛いんだよ
Kyoko:It hurts you know.

ほう
望むところだ
Dad:Oh
That's the way I like it.

ウィーーン
プシューーーーッ
SFX:Spin
Shoo~~

グリッ グリッ グリッ
SFX:Push push push

Page 9
グリグリグリグリ
SFX:Push push push

いっ
たぁああああい!
Dad:Ye-
oooooww!!!

お父さん!!
Kyoko:DAD!!

ガツーーン
SFX:Bang!

すみません すみません
Kyoko:I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

大丈夫ですよ
Shopperson:That's okay.

拷問器具か
Dad:Is this a torture device!?

最悪
超ハズカシー
Kyoko:Argh, this is horrible
I'm so embarassed!

どっか内臓が弱ってるから痛いんだよ
Kyoko:You know it hurts because your organs are weak.

そういや 健康診断で言われたなぁ・・・胃と肝臓をいたわらないとーーー
Dad:Actually, the doctor did mention something like that... He said, if I'm not careful of my stomach then,

い・かんぞう
Dad:I'll get a bellyful!

Page 10
あーー あっ
Kyoko:Oh--
Ah--

これ
いーな仕事場に欲しいな
Kyoko:This is great! I want one at work!

お前と二人で買い物来たの何年ぶりかな・・・
Dad:How many years has it been since we last went shopping together?

さー?
Kyoko:I dunno.

昔 お前がデパートで迷子になって
Dad:Remember when you got lost at that department store?

またその話
Kyoko:Not this again.

(announcement)青いアロハシャツに白いズボンのお父様お嬢様がお待ちです
A young lady is looking for her father wearing a blue hawaiian shirt and white pants.

俺が呼び出されて・・・
Dad:They called me out over the loudspeaker...

時間が経つのは早いな・・・
夢見てるようだった・・・
Dad:Time flies by...
It feels like I'm dreaming...

Page 11
ゴガ・・・・・・
SFX:Snore...

ホントに寝ちゃうし
Kyoko:And then you actually fall asleep.

すいません
Kyoko:Excuse me

ゴッ・・・ ンゴー
SFX:Snore... Snuffle

あのオッサン ちょっとの間寝かせておいてもらえませんか?
高いもの買いますから
Kyoko:Can I leave that old man sleeping there for a while?
I'll buy something expensive

かまいませんよ
Shop keeper:That's fine.

Page 12
何かありましたらお声かけてください
Shopkeeper:Let me know if you need anything

あっ あります あります
Kyoko:Oh! I do, I do

15万円くらいで良いCDプレーヤーあります?
Kyoko:Can I get a good CD player for 150,000 yen?

ええ 相当良いのが揃いますよ
Shopkeeper:Yes, there's a range of good models available.

父が壊れたCDラジカセずっと使ってるんで・・・
Kyoko:My dad's been using a broken CD and radio player....

あ~~~
お父様はどんな音楽聴かれます?
Dad:Ah~~~
What music does your father listen to?

・・・ジャズとかクラシック・・・?ですかね
Kyoko:...Jazz and classical, I guess...

そうしますとこちらのナンタラのカンタラがーー
Shopkeeper:In that case this blah blah blah

重低音でウンタラのカンタラで
Shopkeeper:with deep bass blah-dy blah~

へー機械でそんなにかわりますか
Kyoko:Wow... I didn't realise there was such a difference.

ラジカセと比べたらびっくりなさると思いますよ
Shopkeeper:I'm sure the difference to a casette player will surprise you!

Page 13
(announcement)ピンポンパンポン
SFX:Ding dong ding
迷子様のお呼び出しを申し上げます
Paging a lost child.

では こちらをお買い上げで・・・
Shopkeeper:So, will you buy this one?

(announcement)F市からお越しの・・・
From F~~ city

発送してもらえるんですか?
Kyoko:Can I have it delivered?

(announcement)岩崎響子様   (small)ーー至急3階インフォメーションセ
Kyoko Iwasaki - please come immediately to the the information centre on the 3rd flo--

って
私やないかい
Kyoko:Huh?
That's me!

サンラータンメンおまちどおさまでした
Here you are, Taiwanese noodles.

Page 14
むすっ
Kyoko:Hmph!

怒るなよ・・・
起きたら響子がいないから・・・
Dad:Don't get so angry...
You weren't around when I woke up...

フン・・・もう少し寝てたらサンタが来たのに
Kyoko:Huh! If you'd stayed asleep a bit longer Santa Claus might've visited you...

・・・・・・あぁ?
Dad:...what?

CDプレーヤー買ってあげようと思ったの
Kyoko:I was going to buy you a CD player.

あー いいよ いいよ
Dad:Nah, I don't need one

なんで聴いたって同じだろ
Dad:Music sounds the same no matter what you listen to it on.

同じじゃないっ
Kyoko:It does not!

しかし なんだな ラーメンばっかり食うなと言っておいて 結局晩飯ラーメンだな
Dad:But it's funny. You tell me off for only eating ramen, and we end up eating ramen for dinner!

インスタントラーメンとは別モンでしょ!
Kyoko:This is different to instant noodles though!

野菜もいっぱい入ってるし お酢も体にいいし
Kyoko:It's got lots of veges, and the vinegar is good for you too

いやー ラーメンはラーメン・・・
Dad:Nah... Ramen is ramen.

キッ
SFX:Glare

・・・・・・そ
Dad:...Any-

それよりお前もいい歳だし
誰かいい人いないのか?(small text - なんて・・・)
Dad:Anyway, you're getting to a good age
Is there anyone special in your life? (you know...)

Page 16
別にいないこともないけど・・・
Kyoko:Well, I wouldn't say there's noone...

いるんかい!!
Dad:So there IS someone!!

どんなやつだ・・・
Dad:What's he like...?

え・・・なんもフツーの人
Kyoko:Hmm... just a normal kind of guy.

何かあるだろ 頭が悪いとか 足がクサイとか
女グセが悪いとかブサイクだとか
Dad:There must be something... He's dumb or his feet stink...
He's a ladies man or ugly or...

なんで悪い要素ばっかり・・・
Kyoko:They're all bad things!

「普通」なんてのが一番毒なんだ
あのなふだん普通に吸ってる酸素が実は猛毒という
Dad:"Normal" is the worst kind of poison.
You know, the oxygen that we normally breathe is actually deadly poisonous.

酸素と一緒にするなっ
Kyoko:Don't compare him to oxygen!

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bobrianto

Approved by Meriken

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#1. by Meriken ()
Posted on Jun 28, 2009
Wow, well done! That's a very good translation of the pun. Maybe a proofreader will see this and make some suggestions, but it's perfectly readable as is. Just one thing: The "language" option that appears when you submit a translation refers to the language you're translating into. So you should select "English" next time you submit a translation. The "Japanese" option is used for transcriptions. I've already changed this one for you :p
#2. by njt (Last Boss ♪~( ̄。 ̄))
Posted on Jun 28, 2009
Thanks Meriken for checking.

And welcome back Flunko!
#3. by bobrianto ()
Posted on Jun 28, 2009
7泊8日 <-- this was 7 night 8 days translated by google. not sure how it is when translated to english properly though
#4. by Crayola ()
Posted on Jun 29, 2009
looks interesting, i think i'll give it a scan
#5. by flunko ()
Posted on Jun 29, 2009
Wow! thanks for the quick response guys! I didn't realise things on this site moved so quickly! Is there anyway that I can set it up to get PMs or emails when people comment on translations of mine?? It'd be nice to know so I can reply promptly.

Meriken --> thanks a lot! I pretty much had no idea what I was doing with entering the translation into the database, but hopefully I'll get it right next time! After re-looking at the translation myself I see a few pretty rank errors that a proofreader could pick up, like 'classic' music and some other not exactly kosher english. cheers for checking my pun!

njt --> Cheers for the welcome back ^^ it's been a while! hope I can help out. Do I just push "edit" when I want to change something??

bobrianto --> true true, not sure why I mixed that up. Cheers!

Crayola --> wow, you guys move fast! The script could still do with a few fixups though, so maybe it would be a good idea to hold onto that thought for a little bit.

Areas to check:

The 胃・肝臓 pun... not sure what to do.
And general smoothness for the rest of it.

About the author:

Alias: flunko
Message: Pm

Author contributions

Translations: 3
Forum posts: 202

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