Hoshi wa Utau 38

Chapter 38

01

Box: We had only met once...
Box: before we started living together.
Box: It was at an aunt or someone's death anniversary...
Box: I've forgotten exactly what it was.
Adults: Are you okay, Kanade-kun?

Adults: He's okay. He was just up late last night studying.
Adults: Isn't that right, Kanade?
Adults: Oh, does even someone like you find college entrance exams difficult?
Adults: It's not that he finds them difficult; he's just a hard worker.
Adults: Right?

Adults: Okay, we're here.
Adults: You can rest for a bit in here.
SFX: Slide...

Margin: To Sakuya, Kanade is an "older brother", a "father", and a "precious family member". So what is Sakuya to Kanade...?

02-03

Adults: Oh, you're in here too,
Adults: Sakuya-chan.
Text: Sakuya and Kanade have a chance meeting...
Title: The One-Sided Love Diary of Stray Stars # 38
Bottom text: Takaya Natsuki
Box: Volumes 1-5 of Hoshi wa Utau are on sale now.

Adults: Sorry, but could you go somewhere else?
Adults: Kanade isn't feeling well.

Kanade: ...It's fine.
Kanade: She can stay.

Adults: ...Don't make any noise.

Adults: Okay, we're going back.
Kanade: Fine. I'll go back when I'm feeling a little better.

04

Adults: I'll come check on you later.

Adults: Hey, that girl...
Adults: was your younger brother's only daughter, right?
Adults: Yes...
Adults: I don't know much about my brother because he isn't here in Tokyo and he doesn't contact us much.
Box: Sakuya is my cousin on my mother's side.

Adults: This is the first time I've seen her in years.
Box: Since her parents don't get along, I hadn't ever actually met her.

Box: I only knew of her from rumors I heard the adults mention from time to time.
Kanade: Ahh...
Kanade: I feel sick...

Kanade: It's hard to breathe.
Kanade: Why are those relatives...
Kanade: always asking about my grades?

Sakuya: Um...

05

Sakuya: Do you...want me to get you any water or anything?
Sakuya: Or a blanket?

Kanade: I've heard she's in the 1st year of middle school...Or was it the 2nd?
Kanade: Well, she looks young for her age...Is she just too small?

Kanade: Maybe she hasn't been getting enough food.
Kanade: ...No thanks.
Kanade: I'm fine.
Box: And the rumor that her new mother hated her...
Box: had made its way around.

Book: The World of the Stars

06

Kanade: Do you...
Kanade: like stars?
Sakuya: Eh?

Sakuya: Oh...
Sakuya: Yes.
Sakuya: I love them.

Kanade: Do you want to be an astronomer?
Text at top of bubble: N-
Sakuya: No, I don't like them like that.

Sakuya: I just like...
Sakuya: staring up into the sky at the stars.
Sakuya: Because they...
Sakuya: sing for me.

07

Box: That's when it came boiling up in me.
Kanade: ...Are you an idiot?
Kanade: Stars don't sing.

Box: It was a peevish kind of irritation.
Box: Or something like that.
Kanade: It's that kind of thing...
Kanade: that probably makes people...
Kanade: hate you.

08

Kanade: You really are annoying.
Kanade: Just get lost.

Text: ...Ahh. This sucks.

SFX: ...Close.

09

Text: I wish I could just make myself disappear.

10

Chihiro: He can't find a job?
Sakuya: Right.
Sakuya: He had a part time job, but he quit.
Sakuya: And it looks like he's been looking for another one since.

Sakuya: But I don't think it's going very well.
Sakuya: He's been avoiding this area...and he hasn't been eating.

Chihiro: That's...

Chihiro: This really is a difficult subject to talk about... and I know what that's like.
Text at bottom of bubble: A man's pride can be difficult...
Sakuya: I...

11

Sakuya: I think he should relax a little bit...
Sakuya: and just take things at his own pace.
Sakuya: But I'm not sure if I should tell him that.
Sakuya: It might just make his burden even heavier.

Sakuya: So now I've been trying to be really careful about what I say.
Sakuya: and everything's just going in circles.

Chihiro: ...You're really putting a lot of thought into all this.
Chihiro: I thought the two of you were a little more open.

12

Chihiro: When...
Chihiro: did he quit?
Sakuya: Eh?
Sakuya: Oh...well...
Sakuya: Remember when you met him after we fell in the ocean?
Sakuya: It was that day.

Chihiro: I see...

Chihiro: He didn't get drunk and punch someone in an outburst of anger, did he?
Text: Eh?
Sakuya: No, he didn't!
Sakuya: Kana-chan doesn't have any vices like drinking or anything.
Chihiro: ...That's right.

Chihiro: Kanade-san...
Chihiro: is a gentleman.

13

Text in top of bubble: Um...
Sakuya: Was that...
Sakuya: a compliment?
Text in top of bubble: Ha ha
Chihiro: You're horrible. Of course it was.
Announcement: The next stop is...
Announcement: the end of the line.

SFX: Open
Sakuya: Ah...
Bottom of bubble: We're here.

Chihiro: Want me to see you to your house?
Text at top of bubble: N-
Sakuya: No, no. You don't have to.
Chihiro: Well, I'm going to be late.
Chihiro: The train is going to turn back, so I can just stay on.

Text at top of bubble: So...
Sakuya: Because I made you late, you aren't going to see me off!?
Chihiro: What are you talking about?

Text: I was serious...
Chihiro: Um...

Chihiro: I know you're worried and everything...
Chihiro: but Kanade-san has a lot on his plate right now.

14

Chihiro: So how about...
Sakuya: you wait a bit longer?

Sakuya: Okay...

Sakuya: Thank you for...
Sakuya: having...
Sakuya: this chat with me.
Chihiro: Just remember...

Chihiro: that Kanade-san doesn't...
Chihiro: hate you.

15

Chihiro: So you...
Chihiro: don't have to be...
Chihiro: so afraid.

16

Sakuya: ...Yeah.

17

SFX: Click

Kanade: Saku?

Sakuya: Yeah...I...
Sakuya: just got to the station, so I'll be home soon.
Kanade: Okay.
Sakuya: You don't have to stay up waiting for me.
Kanade: Okay.

SFX: Click
Sakuya: ...Thank god.
Sakuya: He answered the phone.

Chihiro: You don't have to be...
Chihiro: so afraid.

18

Sakuya: Yeah.

Chihiro: Are you the type...
Chihiro: that does nothing but sleep when they're stressed?

19

Chihiro: I'm actually the opposite.

Sakuya: Ah?
Chihiro: Good morning.
Chihiro: Even if it is the afternoon.

Sakuya: What...?
Chihiro: I was thinking, the door to this house is usually unlocked.
Chihiro: That's dangerous.
Chihiro: What would you do if there were robbers?
Chihiro: If something happened...

SFX: Wham
Sakuya: Shut up, you illegal trespasser!

20

Sakuya: Why are you here? What about school?
Text: Oh, your hair's gotten longer. Just a little.
Chihiro: I think Shiina and the others are still there...
Chihiro: but I had no choice today.
Sakuya: Then study at home. Don't you have exams?

Chihiro: What about you, Kanade-san?

Text: Ah.
Chihiro: Are you okay?

On paper: Resume

SFX: Grab

Chihiro: I heard...
Chihiro: yesterday.

21

Sakuya: Heard...
Sakuya: what?
Chihiro: That you're looking for a job.

Chihiro: And just so you know...
Chihiro: I forced her to tell me.
SFX: Place

Chihiro: Since you seemed to be acting oddly.
SFX: Sit

Sakuya: I just want to die...
Text: Since someone like you knows...

Chihiro: If you say things like that...
Chihiro: Shiina will cry.

Sakuya: Cry?
Sakuya: Why?
Chihiro: Because...

22-23

Chihiro: She cares about you.

Chihiro: I don't like finding fault in others...

Chihiro: but you're not good at relying on others.
Chihiro: You just don't know what to say.

Text: Now that you mention it...

Text: I've never studied means of communication.
Sakuya: Wait...

24

Sakuya: If you don't like finding fault, then don't do it.
SFX: Grab
Sakuya: Do you know how many times Saku's been down because of something you've said?
Text: Well!?

Text at top of bubble: Eh...?
Chihiro: I...
Chihiro: Ow ow.

Sakuya: Wake up already! There's nothing cute about you and there never has been!
Chihiro: Ow ow ow.
Box: But even he...

Box: Even he...
Box: is better...
Box: than I used to be.

Text: On that day.

25

Box: The way I was...
Box: back then.

Text: ...I wish I could make it all disappear.

Text: They were picturesque parents who aimed to be of the elite.
Text: And I was their only son.
Text: All of their hopes were placed on me.

26

Text: And my life was made up of...
Text: frustratingly obvious and common...
Text: missteps.

Box: Everything went well through middle school.

Box: My parents and those around me treated me like a prodigy.
Box: I was known as an excellent student throughout the neighborhood.

Box: I thought I was special.
Box: I thought the others were just made differently.

Text: I was a horrible kid.

Box: And then...
Box: I hit a dead end.

27

Box: When I entered high school my grades dipped a bit.
Box: I wasn't getting the results I wanted.
Box: So I started studying even more.

Box: For some reason this made my grades drop further.
SFX: Pant pant
Sakuya: Am I not studying properly?
Sakuya: Or is there a problem with how I'm being taught?

SFX: Pant
Sakuya: Should I be reviewing more of the material?

Box: When my grades dropped, my parents would get after me.
Box: It was the worst possible sign.
Father: Are you really taking this seriously?
Father: You aren't neglecting your studies, are you!?

Text: I can't see how.
Text: I'm only getting 3 hours of sleep.

Mother: ...You haven't made the wrong kind of friends, have you?

Text: After school, I go straight to cram school and when I get home I have the tutor.
Text: I have no time for fun.

28

Text: So why is this happening?
Parents: I don't know what I should tell the neighbors.
Parents: Can't you just work a little harder?
Parents: We believe in you.
Parents: Keep at it.
Parents: Try harder.
Parents: Keep going.
Parents: Keep trying.

Text: ...I can't breathe.
SFX: Pant

Sakuya: Why is it so hard to breathe?
Sakuya: It's not like the oxygen around me could be thinner than everywhere else.
SFX: Pant pant pant
Sakuya: I can't breathe...I feel sick.

Sakuya: It feels like...
SFX: Pant
Sakuya: thick walls...

Sakuya: are closing in on me from all sides.
Text: I want to...

Text: just scream "I can't".

29

Text: But I'm afraid.
Text: I'm afraid of betraying their expectations.
Text: I'm afraid they'll give up on me.
Text: I'm afraid they'll abandon me.
Text: I'm afraid they'll deny me.
Text: I'm afraid they'll just leave me behind.
Text: I'm afraid of having people think that this is all I can do.

30

Text: I'm afraid of becoming the kind of person who's looked down upon.
Text: I'm afraid.
Margin: He couldn't run away. He didn't know to ask to help him. His heart was being destroyed...