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Translations: One Piece 908 by cnet128 , Gintama 687 (2)

Needless Special : Goldilocks


+ posted by js06 as translation on Jul 10, 2013 17:59 | Go to Needless



Top: A fully original special 32 page story.
Title: Goldilocks
Credit: Imai Kami

Upper Box: Protagonist: Setsuna, Mio, Kuchinashi Enemy: Goldilocks System

Lower left box: First Published: Special Insert with Ultra Jump June 2007 Issue (This page is a reproduction of the insert's cover)

Lower right box: Chapter 17 - Goldilocks - Chapter 16


White box on the right: Author Comment - This is the mysterious Chapter 16.5. It tells the story of the three members of the girl's squad heading back to the Simeon Building after taking Eve hostage in the Iron Mountain battle. I actually designed their clothes just for this story!!

[The rest of this page is needless for anyone who has read Needless.]


SFX: Rumble rumble rumble
Setsuna: This is...

Setsuna: the Governor-General's...
Setsuna: Mansion!!


Mio: The Governor-General's Mansion?
SFX: Rumble rumble
Setsuna: Yes.
Setsuna: It was the hidden villa of Governor-General Kanematsu of the old army.

Setsuna: During the war, it was used as a a secret vault to protect the military's vast assets
SFX: Rumble rumble
Setsuna: You could say it's a giant treasure vault.

Setsuna: It escaped notice of the occupation army after the war, so it remains a mysterious untouched mansion.
SFX: Wind...

Setsuna: I have a bad feeling about this...
Setsuna: but we have no choice.

Setsuna: Let's go, Mio, Kuchinashi!!
SFX: Step forward
Kuchinashi(crossed out): Overstood
Kuchinashi: Understood
Mio: Nni!!


Setsuna: Honestly.
Setsuna: If only she hadn't fled here.

SFX: Whoosh
Box: 30 minutes ago

Box: Setsuna and the others...
SFX: Whoosh
Box: were on their way back to the Simeon Headquarters after taking Eve hostage in the Iron Mountain battle.

Mio: Setsuna, emergency!!
Mio: Eve-chan's gone!!

Setsuna: Eh!?

SFX: Dramatic!


SFX: Rumble rumble

Setsuna: Not good.
Setsuna: She used her Doppelganger ability to change her form and escape the rope!

Mio: What do we do!?
Mio: Riru-sama will be mad we let the hostage escape!!
Setsuna: I know!
Setsuna: I put a tracking device on her just in case!

SFX: Beep beep

Kuchinashi: It seems she has fled into that mansion.

Setsuna: Over there, hm?


SFX: Creak

SFX: Step step

Mio: This place...
SFX: Step
Mio: is so dark and scary.
SFX: Step

Setsuna: For being abandoned since the war...
SFX: Step
Setsuna: the inside is surprisingly intact.

Setsuna: Kanematsu, the owner of this mansion, had to have died decades ago.
SFX: Whir
Setsuna: Why is there no sign of intruders?

SFX: Beep


SFX: Zap
SFX: Flame

Setsuna: A laser!?

SFX: Smolder smolder

Voice: Weapons are forbidden in this mansion!
Voice: Please immediately remove all metal from your person!

Setsuna: D-
Setsuna: Don't tell me this is...

Setsuna: a Goldilocks system!!
SFX: Dramatic


Mio: Goldilocks?
Setsuna: Yes.
Setsuna: That's the name of an extremely top rate security company from before the war.

Setsuna: The intruder prevention systems developed by the Goldilocks Company were extraordinarily excellent...
SFX: Rumble rumble
Setsuna: so I hear they were always used for the country's most important facilities.

Setsuna: That means this mansion is protected by...
Setsuna: a Goldilocks defense system just like that impregnable Iron Mountain.

Mio: No way...
Setsuna: We have no choice. Kuchinashi, leave your gauntlet here.
Kuchinashi: Fine.

Kuchinashi: Bye bye, Red Hot Iron Roll.
Setsuna: You gave it a name?


SFX: Beeeep beeeep
Voice: I repeat!
Voice: Please immediately remove all metal from your person!!

Setsuna: Eh!?
Setsuna: The alarm is still going off!

Setsuna: Does anyone have a metal weapon?
Kuchinashi: Maybe the studs in my boots?
Setsuna: No, I can't imagine it would react to something that small.
Text: I can't figure it out, nyah.

Text: Contents: Steel, etc.
Mio: Bye bye, Bunny-chan.
Setsuna: I still don't see how it's a rabbit.


Mio: Um...
SFX: Step step

Mio: No entry? We're forcing our way inside without consent?
Sign: No entry
Kuchinashi: Sexy

Setsuna: That doesn't matter.
Setsuna: She's in here, so we have to go.
SFX: Step

SFX: Beeep
SFX: Beeep

SFX: Open

SFX: Spray!!

Setsuna: Poison gas!?
Setsuna: Everyone, get back!!!


SFX: Rumble rumble
SFX: Disperse

Setsuna: I see.
Setsuna: If an intruder goes through, it shoots gas out.
Mio: You're right. There are holes on the wall.

SFX: Rumble rumble rumble

Setsuna: What should we do?
Setsuna: I can get through with my Speed.
Mio: We can't, though.
Kuchinashi: I could blow it away if I had my Red Hot Iron Roll.

Setsuna: There are about 12 gas ejection points.

SFX: Slide


SFX: Pull off

Mio: Setsuna! What are you doing?
Setsuna: I can stop the gas by jamming these buttons in the ejection points.
Mio: You can do that?

Setsuna: These are custom made buttons for special missions!
SFX: Whirr
Setsuna: They're made to cause a gun to explode if you stick them in the barrel.

Setsuna: But...
Setsuna: I can't block all of them.

Setsuna: I'll go on ahead with my Speed and block the ejection points...
Setsuna: so you run as fast as you can on my signal! Got it?

Mio: Nni!!
Kuchinashi: Undersat

SFX: Dash


SFX: Place
SFX: Spray

SFX: Place place place

Setsuna: Okay!! Run!!

SFX: Dash

SFX: Beep!

SFX: Boom boom boom
SFX: Spray spray


SFX: Boom

Setsuna: Are you all okay!?
Mio: Somehow!

SFX: Beep

SFX: Open

Mio: Eh?
Setsuna: Oh, no!
Mio: Kyaaaaaah!


SFX: Wind...

Setsuna: Now we're in a pitfall.

Setsuna: This is a problem.

Setsuna: Mio, can you climb out?
SFX: Slide slide
Mio: Nope.
Setsuna: My Speed won't help either.

Setsuna: Hmm...

Setsuna: I know!
Setsuna: Do you two have anything like strings?
SFX: Slide
Mio: Eh?


Setsuna: We can tie them all together to make a rope!
Mio: Oh! You're so smart, Setsuna!
Kuchinashi: I see.

Mio: Ohhh! My clothes have plenty of ribbons.
Setsuna: You just noticed that?
Text: Yay yay
Mio: Oh, thanks, Kuchinashi!

Setsuna: Okay!
Setsuna: Done!!
SFX: Tah dah
Box: Kuchinashi's strings + Mio's head, chest, and waist ribbons + Setsuna's necktie, arm covers, and boots.

Setsuna: Mio! It's up to you!
Mio: Okay!

Mio: Mio-chaaaan...
SFX: Spin spin

Mio: Fast Ball!!!
SFX: Whoosh


SFX: Fly

SFX: Bang
SFX: Spin spin

Mio: Yay!!
SFX: Tight
Setsuna: We can climb out now!!

Setsuna: W-wait!!
SFX: Creak creak
Text: Kyaaaah!
SFX: Nfuu
Setsuna: Kuchinashi! Too close!! Too close!!

Setsuna: Ahhhn!
Setsuna: I sweated a lot today!
Setsuna: Kyahn!
SFX: Creak
Setsuna: C'mon, hurry up, hurry up.
Mio: Setsuna, don't grab me there.
SFX: Creak
Setsuna: Noo!


Setsuna: Hmm...

Setsuna: She should...
SFX: Wind
Setsuna: be up here.

Mio: Oh, is that a light switch?
SFX: Walk walk walk
Setsuna: Wait!
SFX: Nervous nervous
Mio: Eh?

Mio: But we can't go on when it's this dark.
Setsuna: Look over there.

Setsuna: It's dark...
Setsuna: but there are red lights!
Mio: Oh, you're right.

SFX: Rumble rumble
Setsuna: Those are light sensors!


Setsuna: They purposefully made the passageway dark so any intruders would use the lights.
Intruder: It's dark.
SFX: Switch
SFX: Bright
SFX: Beep
SFX: Stab
Box: Imagined Scene
Setsuna: Then the traps activate in response to the light.

Mio: Then what do we do?
Setsuna: Let's see...

Setsuna: If we cover them with large black cloths that will block out the light...
Setsuna: the sensors shouldn't detect the light.

Setsuna: But where are we going to get that?
Mio: Right there.

Setsuna: Eh?


SFX: Cover
Box: Setsuna and Kuchinashi's skirts.

SFX: Cry
Kuchinashi: That was my favorite one...
SFX: Pat pat
Setsuna: We had no choice.
Setsuna: Our mission is more important than our clothes. We can't fail again.

Setsuna: And we packed a change of clothes in the testaments, so we'll be fine.
Mio: Oh, you're right.

Setsuna: Now.
SFX: Rumble rumble
Setsuna: Let's continue on.


SFX: Wind
SFX: Kashunk

Mio: What's this place?
Setsuna: Probably...
Setsuna: Kanematsu's treasure vault.

SFX: Step

SFX: Beep

Voice: Goldilocks system activating!!
Setsuna: Eh?
SFX: Beep beep


Mio: Wh-what now!?
Setsuna: Where's the sensor.
Mio: What kind of trap is it?
SFX: Rumble rumble rumble
SFX: Beep beep

SFX: Beep
Voice: Over! over!
Voice: 30 seconds until system activation!!

Setsuna: Over?
Mio: Setsuna! Look at this!

Mio: This has the weight of someone named Kanematsu written day by day.

Setsuna: Weight?
Setsuna: So that's it!!

Setsuna: The floor itself is a weight sensor...
SFX: Rumble rumble
Setsuna: and the trap activates if anyone whose weight is different from Kanematsu's walks across it!!


Setsuna: What is Kanematsu's most recent recorded weight?
Mio: 121 kg!!

Setsuna: We need to gather in one spot!!
SFX: Beep
Setsuna: We can't be too light or too heavy!!
Setsuna: Our combined weight has to be exactly 121 kg!!

Setsuna: According to our latest measurement, I could have sworn we were about 120 kg all together.
Kuchinashi: But it said we were over!
Voice: 20 seconds.

Setsuna: Our clothes are probably putting us over!!
SFX: Beep
Setsuna: We should just need to be a little lighter!!

Setsuna: Throw your clothes off of the sensor!!
Mio: Okay!!

SFX: Beep
SFX: Toss toss


SFX: Beep
Voice: Over!! Over!! 10 seconds until system activation!!

SFX: Rumble rumble rumble
Mio: We're still too heavy!?
Setsuna: No way!

Setsuna: It should be just a few more grams...
Kuchinashi: Sorry. I had some cake yesterday.
Setsuna: What should we do? Our shoes and the sketchbook should be too much.

Voice: 5 seconds... 4 seconds...

Mio: Setsuna!!
Setsuna: Kh...

Setsuna: This is all...

Setsuna: that's left...


SFX: Beeep!
SFX: Dshuuu
Voice: System deactivated!!!!

SFX: Dshu
Voice: Welcome,
Voice: Kanematsu-sama.
SFX: Dshu

SFX: Wind

Mio: It...
Mio: It stopped...

SFX: Place


SFX: Rumble rumble rumble
Mio: Nyah
Setsuna: Three panties was the exact amount...

Setsuna: Listen, we can't gain even a single gram.
Setsuna: Let's slowly move on and find her!
Mio: Okay!!

SFX: Drip
Setsuna: Wah!!

Setsuna: Eh?

Setsuna: Wh-
Setsuna: What is this?


Setsuna: There she is!!!
Mio: Eve-chan spotted!!

Setsuna: So that's where you were!!
Setsuna: Do you have any idea what we went through for you?

Eve: I have something to report.

Setsuna: What?


Eve: I managed to escape to here...
Eve: using my Doppelganger ability.

Eve: But my energy...
SFX: Tremble tremble tremble
Eve: is about at its limit.

Mio: Eh? Wait...
Kuchinashi: You mean...
Setsuna: It can't be...

SFX: Slip
All: Ah.

Setsuna: Not good!!
SFX: Roar
Setsuna: If our weight increases now...

All: Stay awaaaaay!!!


SFX: Beep
SFX: Crash
Voice: Over!! Over!!

Voice: Goldilocks system activated!
SFX: Splash
All: Kyaaaaaahhh!

All: Ahh!
SFX: Surge surge surge
All: Ahhh!


SFX: Drip drip

Setsuna: Uuh...
SFX: Drip
Setsuna: Uuhhhn...

Setsuna: Are...
Setsuna: you two okay?
SFX: Rustle
Mio: S-somehow...

Setsuna: What about her?

Eve: Yeahhh
Eve: I'm right heeeere.

Setsuna: So...
Setsuna: where are we?

Eve: Probably in a pipe used to get rid of intruders.

Setsuna: I see.
Setsuna: By the way...


SFX: Rumble rumble rumble
SFX: Tight
Mio: Nyahh
Setsuna: We're really stuck in here good.

Mio: Nnn...
SFX: Tight tight
Mio: I can't get out.

Eve: Hey.
Eve: Nn
Eve: Don't move your hand!!
Mio: Nyah!

Eve: You're heavy. And can't anyone get out?
Mio: Don't ask the impossible!
Setsuna: Ahn!
Setsuna: Whose hand is that!?


SFX: Squeak squeak
SFX: Squeak

Mio: Auhhh...
Mio: Kuchinashi-chan.
Mio: Your pen...

Setsuna: Mio!! Can't you do something with your Power Fragment?
Mio: Nnnn...
Eve: Ah!
SFX: Thud
Eve: Are you an idiot?
Eve: Ow ow ow ow!!
Eve: If she tries too hard someone's gonna end up with a broken bone!!

Eve: What about your Speed!?
Mio: Yeah.
SFX: Tremble tremble
Setsuna: How am I supposed to move quickly when I can't move a single millimeter?

Setsuna: I know!! You use your Doppelganger to slip out!!
Setsuna: You did it with our rope easily enough.
SFX: Squish squish
Mio: Nyahh...
Eve: If I could I would have already!
Eve: I said I'm out of energy, remember?
SFX: Wham wham


Setsuna: Then...

Eve: are we...

Mio: stuck here...

Kuchinashi: forever?

All: Nooooooo!!
SFX: Dramatic

Box: It took them two hours to escape.
SFX: Squeak squeak squeak
Eve: I can't see!! I can't see what you're saying!!
Mio: Could someone scratch my back?
Setsuna: Here?
Mio: Ah, no!
Mio: I need to pee...
Setsuna: Ehhh!?

Box: End <Continued in Chapter 17...>

Margin: <Goldilocks - End>

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