Only for use by HWMN.
I'll just stick this here because it's not really its own manga, so it's not worth making one.
[Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan Episode 5 Translation by Kewl0210]
Top: ☆A 46 page one-shot with a center color page to commemorate "Jojo's" 25th anniversary & the opening of the original artwork exhibition!!
Title: Kishibe Rohan wa Ugokai (Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan) [It doesn't say the "Thus Spoke" part anywhere, but that's the official translation]
Episode 5 [Upper right, white]
Wealthy Village [Black]
Insert Text: Welcome, to the bizarre-------!!
Bottom: Original Story [Top Circle]
Kishibe Rohan [Yellow, next to top circle.]
Manga [Bottom Circle]
Araki Hirohiko [Yellow, next to bottom circle.]
Insert Text: Everybody... join in!!
Rohan: While maintaining my wrists at an angle of exactly 90 degrees
and maintaining all fingers pointing straight, completely unbent.
Rohan: Face palms forward.......
And while maintaining the shoulders straight forward as well, continue to hold the wrists at a right angle...
Rohan: Then bend the fingers one at a time.
Then open the fingers up again one at a time.
My "preparation exercises" for drawing manga
Izumi: By the way, Rohan-sensei.
You have that deadline for your 45 page "one-shot short story" coming up at the end of Summer.
Have you decided on what you're going to draw yet?
Rohan: Hm~~~ That's right.
Maybe a story on the "annular solar eclipse" or something?
What do you think?
Izumi: Waaah, that sounds very interesting! [Heart]
But um, if you do that~~
...You wouldn't be doing a story about buying a "villa in the mountains" for the manga?
Narration: Izumi Kyouka (25)
Manga Magazine Editor
Rohan: What'd you say just now?
Narration: Kishibe Rohan (27)
Izumi: So you're not interested in something like that, hu~~~h?
I guess no~~t Uhuhuhuhu
Rohan: Hey, wait!
Did you just say "doing something" with a villa in the mountains?
Izumi: No, no. I'm you wo~~~~n't be doing that.
I was just saying for making manga,
if the sensei goes out to do research, he might find some ideas for a short story is all---
Rohan: No! You said something about "buying", I know you di~~~d!
I'm sure i heard you say "buy a villa"!
All that about me buying a "mountain" the other day and going bankrupt did you... know about it?
Izumi: That's not what I'm saying, I mean about "research for a story".
Here, look at this.
I found it on Google Maps.
Please take a look.
There isn't a single road leading deep into the mountains. ["a single road" in italics.]
But there are over 11 "palatial mansions" standing in this "village".
Rohan: The mountain on which this place is located lies around 80 kilometers northwest of Morioh.
Beyond roads, there isn't even a single power line leading to that place............ It's truly isolated "in the middle of the forest".
Rohan: A "village" that doesn't rely on power companies or public infrastructure...
Izumi: But they have power. You can see a heliport.
The residents of this village must use a helicopter to get around.
Rohan: I guess they must......
There are "11 houses"... and they're all incredible mansions.
You can see several "segways" next to the "pool".
And... I might be mistaken here,
but this building near the tennis court...... Isn't that an "Isetan" sign?
There's a department store setup there for just 11 houses?
Izumi: You're ri~~~ght! It iiis an "Isetan"! Woo~~w!
T/N: Isetan is a Japanese department store chain.
Currently in "this village"... There's one parcel of land, a villa, up for sale. The price is 3 million yen.
Rohan: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
I told you!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you are "talking about buying" something, aren't you?! ["are" in italics.]
Izumi: I was saying that you would just be doing research, sensei.
I'm the one buying the "villa". ["I'm" in italics.]
Izumi: The plot of land is 800 tsubo in area, and the price is 3 million yen.
So I thought with my salary, I could maybe buy it if I took out a loan.
T/N: A tsubo is a measure of area equating to 3.31 square meters or 3.95 square yards. That comes to 2648 square meters or 3160 square yards.
Izumi: With work and this tiring city life, I really wanna get an apartment.
So I thought it would be nice to spend weekends in a villa in the middle of nature, wouldn't it~~?
Rohan: Hold on a sec.
Let me just make sure we're on the same page.
Are you gonna buy that land?
Or is Shuueisha buying it?
Izumi: No, not the editorial department. I'm buying it personally.
Rohan: And you want me to make a manga out of that?
Izumi: The "buying"
is research, sensei~~~
I just thought it could help you get ideas......
I checked up on a lot of things for this. Plot of land #1 is owned by the president of a ship building company.
#2 is the CEO of a drug manufacturer.
#3 is a printing company family.
Izumi: #4 made a cosmetics company successful...
...each one... of the 11 houses are all villas of some of the richest people in the world.
They're also blessed with beautiful wives and families...
Everyone is really fortunate.
Rohan: Hey, uh...
you said you checked up on this, right?
Now that is definitely weird!
It may be deep in the mountains, but one section of that sorta billionaire village is 3 million yen?
There's gotta be a catch!
Izumi: I don't think so, Rohan-sensei.
The most important part is this.
Of the people in those 11 houses,
they all bought land in this village when they were "25 years old".
And at first, they were all normal young people living somewhere in Japan.
Izumi: Understand...? I'll go over one more thing I investigated.
The last time land was bought in this village was in 1989, and that was area #11.
23 years ago... At the time, he was 25 and living in Tokyo as driver for a home delivery service. That man bought #11.
And now, he is the CEO of an airline company with 30 billion in assets.
Every one of them, from #1 to #11, weren't part of rich families or anything................ They were all regular "25 year olds".
It happened after they got land in this village. ["after" in italics.]
These people got rich then.
Do you think it's a coincidence?!
When they were "25"!
And right now, I'm also... "25 years old".
Sensei, won't you go to do research there?
When I buy this villa of goof fortune......?
Does the editorial department...
have a helicopter?
How do we get to that "village"?
[Aaand the answer is walk.]
There's one really important thing I forgot to mention.
The seller is the representative of this area of villas, you see.
And the people here are really stingy about "manners". Apparently they won't ever sell to someone they think is rude.
"Mannters" are going to be extremely important.
So sensei~~~ Please...
Rohan: "Please" what......?
You're the one buying the land, ri~~~ght?
Izumi: Oh, I told you~~~~
This might not go too good...
People who have bad manners in this "village" get sent away. That includes both me and you, sensei. ["and" in italics.]
...No matter how much money you have.
Even though we climbed all this way, they'll just tell us to get out.
Sensei... You sometimes have a tendency to... put yourself as number 1, don't you think?
A "me, me, me" sorta thing~~~
Rohan: What the hell are you talking about?!
Izumi: As visitors, we have to be courteous.
Please, show respect to anyone we meet from here on out.
Izumi: How about
we "practice manners" a bit...?
When visiting someone else's home......
Where would "manners" dictate would be the best place to remove this "coat"?
Rohan: ...Hmhph... ......Did you learn that in job hunting, interviews, and that sorta thing.......?
The answer is "in front of the main entrance".
Not inside, but "before" you enter the entranceway.
That's because it may be dirty or have dust stuck to it.
Izumi: Perfect, sensei! That was great! [Heart] after the "sensei".]
Anyhow, look at that... We actually haven't called on them yet, but what do you do about something like this?
Over there... it's a chick.
SFX: PIPI.... Pi... PIPI
Rohan: It probably fell... from a nest up in the trees somewhere.
I feel bad for it.
Izumi: ...What do we do? We can't just leave it here. It'll get eaten by some other animal or something and die.
SFX: PI PI
Rohan: Well, ya know... that might just be part of nature's way.
Izumi: You're in luck, little chick. We'll help you out.
I've got a candy box... right here.
Just hop in... It'll you for now.
SFX: PI PI
Izumi: Let's look for the nest after.
Rohan: I guess it's probably in the top of onna those trees up there.
SFX: GIH GIGIG GIGI GI
SFX: GI GI GI GI
[That guy's no good. I just know, he's just no good, I tells ya.]
Creep: Good afternoon... I welcome you from your long journey. Please, come in.
Wonderful weather we're having today, isn't it?
Creep: Sir, m'am, right this way...
Please, right this way.
Izumi: My name is Izumi Kyouka.
If you could be so kind as to offer us your time to discuss the matter of purchasing the villa, I'd be most appreciative.
This man is my escort, a mangaka sensei name Kishibe Rohan.
Creep: My name is "Ikkyuu". It is my duty to escort visitors from the main entrance.
If you'd like, we have refreshments for you to enjoy.
I'll call for the owner of this area of villas right away.
Please come in and wait right here.
[And here's some stuff happening. Teaaa... You know the guy's gonna be like, a serial killer who cuts off people's feet or something.]
[I think they're looking at the tea.]
Rohan: Do you... get the feeling that...
something has already started...? Somehow...?
Rohan: The whole "manners" thing.
Do ya think this is some kinda test to see if we have the right "manners" for drinking tea, and whatnot?
I think we're being watched in this room from somewhere.
Do you know the right answer for this?
Could you maybe do a search on the web for "how do drink tea"?
Izumi: It's okay... I'm the one doing the purchase, after all!
No need to worry...
When eating or drinking, just avoid any sounds or motions that could be considered offensive.
Ikkyuu: Excuse me.
I'm terribly sorry, but..........
The owner of the area of villas
will not be able to meet you.
Please leave for today.
Ikkyuu: At this point, you've already breached "three" rules of good manners... Izumi-sama...
We will not sell land to rude people.
Please leave for today.
Izumi: What did you say......?
You mean me?
Ikkyuu: The "first" was
although you are guests, unless specifically recommended to do so, you should not shamelessly sit in the "seats of honor" which are located across from the entrance.
Ikkyuu: You should sit in the "lower seat".
Until the host arrives, it is correct manners to wait in the "lower seats".
Signs: Enrance [At the entrance]
Seat of Honor 1st [Bottom right]
Seat of Honor 2nd [Bottom left]
Lower Seat 3rd [Top right]
Lower Seat 4th [Top left]
Creepface: "Second", you should not step on the edges of the tatami mats of a Japanese-style room.
Creepface: And "third"
when one's knees are higher than the height of the table---- it is proper to drink while holding the saucer, but
there is nothing more unrefined than to hold the teacup by placing your fingers through the handle.
Creepman: Manners are either "proper" or "improper".
We do not compromise on this.
Now then, please leave for today.
Rohan: Huh~~ It's over?
Seriously... its already over?
We've gotta leave without even getting to see the host?
Izumi: Ah, um... Did you...
just say "today"?
Then you're saying there will be another chance...!!
If I could have a chance to try this again......!! I would take it in a heartbeat!! Just one chance!!
Izumi: One more try!!
If I could just take the test again from the beginning! Please, I really would like to!
You would like to "try again" to have good manners......?
Is that... what you just said?
I will convey your desire to try again... to the host, and return with a response.
Izumi: Huh? You can do that?
Please! I really would like to try again!
Rohan: Hey... Let's just go......
Something like this isn't gonna be any good for research.
Izumi: I'm really interested in the villa area!!
It makes perfect sense to have proper manners here!
I think it's actually a very beautiful place!
[I love the look on Rohan's face here...]
SFX: BURUBURU BURUBURU
SFX: BURUBURU BURUBURU
SFX: POTA POTA
Rohan: What.......... is this...?
AAA It can't be!
I... I've... got to go home right away...!!
My mother died......
I just heard... [This is the small one near her mouth]
Izumi: She was in a car accident.......... Aaah.
My fiance I was going to marry next year was in the car with her...
Mommy had a heart attack while she was driving and............
they both died...!!
Rohan: What the hell?!
The bird in the box......
[That's all he cares about.]
Devilchild: I'm back... The owner
gave permission for a retry to mind your manners... Let's continue.
Rohan: Who the fuck are you,
Rohan: "Heaven's Dooooor!"
Paper: I guide
the front entrance.
I am person who
coveys the will of the land
Those who enter
with no respect [Feel free to break this up however you want so it fits. They're intentionally cut off, though.]
Rohan: "I guide people from the front entrance."
"I am person who coveys the will of the land."
"Those with no respect that enter this mountain land and breach manners"
"lose something precious to them."
"That is punishment from the 'mountain'."
"There are no compromises with manners."
"Will you gain something or lose something?"
"That is the rule of the land."
"That is the power of the 'mountain'."
"Those who successfully pay respect to the land shall 'gain'.
"Those who do not, 'lose' things one by one."
Rohan: This child is not a "Stand User"...
This child is just guide that's being used.
The child himself has no "ability" at all!
This is seriously bad...!!
The true identity of our enemy is "The gods of the mountain"......!!
She breached "three" manners so she lost "three" things.
And then she asked for a retry! It's conceited to ask to be tested a second time!
And also... turning a human into a "book" and reading another person's heart without asking...
lacks respect towards the other party. A "breach of manners"!
Paper: And also turning a human into a "book"
and reading another person's heart
lacks respect towards the other party.
A "breach of manners".
Rohan: Aw, man! .........This can't be true, can it?
W... We're in trouble...!!
M...... My chest.....
It... It hurts...
seems to have had a heart attack.
You committed a breach of manners, so you will lose one thing as well. ["lose one thing" in italics.]
Creepface: So... shall you be trying again?
Rohan: If we don't do something
is she going to die...?
Creepguy: Or shall you go home for today?
Rohan: We can't just go home like this...
I'm begging you, please forgive her.
She just wanted to be happy...
And she hoped to give me data for things to right about... I'm sure those were her true feelings as an editor......
Guyface: There is no "compromising" with manners.
WIll you gain something or will you lose something?
Fuckthisguy: This "corn"......
how would you go about eating it?
[Rohan's worst enemy to date.]
Fuckguy: Now... shall you try again?
Or shall you return home for today?
Rohan: I am Kishibe Rohan. Do not underestimate me...
"Forks", "knives", "chopsticks"... I can smell that those items are traps from a mile away.
They seem way too purposeful.
Rohan: You "grip it with your hands".......... And also, before that,
are stepping on something, aren't you...?
Rohan: It looks like you're the one... who's in breach of manners.
When I "made you into a book" before... I "wrote it in" for you.
The name of my ability is "Heaven's Door".
Paper: I can no longer see the edges of the tatami mats.
Rohan: Ah... You stepped on one again... with both feet.
That's the kind of "ability" I have.
Thank you... for those manners you just taught me.
It was gain something or lose something, ri~~~ght?
Izumi: HAAA HAAA
Rohan: It's my "victory".
It also looks like it was right to hold the "corn" with both hands.
I'll be taking back the things she lost.
They were her "mother" and "boyfriend", right?
Loser: This is cheating...
Cheating will incur the wrath of the gods...
Will you try again, Kishibe Rohan-sama?
Or will you go home for today?
Rohan: No. It looks like I'll be getting through this without incurring any wrath.
Because the one who's truly breached manners is you.
But I'm going home.
SFX: HAAA HAAA HAAA
Rohan: And I don't plan to ever come back.
Side: "Enigma", again sometime in the future----
SFX: PI PIPI
SFX: PIPI PI PI
SFX: PI PI
Box: "Wealthy Village" - End
Side: Manners Supervisor / Nishide Hiroko
Bottom: Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan (Kishibe Rohan wa Ugokanai)
Episode 5 Wealthy Village