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Translations: Gintama 683 by kewl0210 , One Piece 904 by cnet128

Gintama 487

An ID Photo is Proof of the Harshness of Reality

+ posted by kewl0210 as translation on Apr 1, 2014 05:26 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 487

Only for use by HWMN

This one, too. Seriously, what the fuck...

[Gintama 487 Translation by Kewl0210]
Page 1:
Gin: These suck.
These suck, too.
These ones are close... but they're no good either.
Hase: ......Hey, what's so bad about them? They all look the same to me.
I mean, they're just ID photos for job hunting.
Insert: With no unofficial offers to speak of, the Madao is operating on trial and error---
Title: "Gintama"

Page 2:
Hase: I've been thinkin' that the reason I can't get a job even with all the job-searching I do
is maybe because the picture I have in my resume isn't very good.
So I decided that I would look for a good photo-taking booth before I got back to job-searching.
Gin: First off, that whole line of thinking sucks.
Hase: I couldn't tell you what it is exactly, but I do get a feeling that there's something wrong with these photos.
Gin: I'll tell you what it is exactly, the guy that's in the photos sucks.
Hase: couldn't tell you what it is exactly, but I do get a feeling that there's something not good about what's in these photos.
Gin: I'll tell you what it is exactly, first take off the goddamn sunglasses, moron.
Why did you even decide on this identification photo in the first place? It's a horrible shot.
I mean, your complexion sucks, you've got a bad look in your eyes, and you've got the face of some criminal with several previous convictions.
Hase: Hm...
Maybe this place would be good?
Okay, yeah, I'll try here next.
Top Sign: Identification Photos
Left Sign: Quick, clean ID photos
Banner: Clear!! Distinct!!
Take a bright, cheerful photo here!!
Handwritten: Can be used for crimes as well!! [This should be so small it's pretty much unreadable.]

Page 3:
Hase: I don't have much money left, so I'm really hoping for this one.
Gin: Hey, you're pretty much wasting your time no matter how many you take.
Normally, when a person looks at himself in the mirror, he mentally see a few things as a bit better than they really are.
But the reality of it is, most people live with a 20% more convict-like face than they think they do.
And a photo just interprets that cruel reality as-is.
Gin: You're not taking bad photos.
That 20% more-ugly image that's coming out in the photos is your true form.
Sign: Dispensing Slot
Hase: ..........
Forget 20%, this is 80% a different person in this photo!!
Title: Lesson 487
An ID Photo is Proof of the Harshness of Reality
Insert: That's a face that looks like it could play a famous song, doesn't it?!!
Author: Sorachi Hideaki

Page 4:
Hase: This ain't something like a freakin' bad shot! Who is thiiiis?! Why is the hair so long?!
Gin: Like I said, there are your delusions, and then there's reality.
You've been nothing but a ghost writer in the life you've been leading up to this point.
Hase: Who're you calling a ghost writer?!!
Gin: Did you adjust to chair to make sure it was at the correct height?
Hase: The friggin' height of the chair wouldn't change something like this!
Gin: No, maybe your chair was so low that the photo captured the image of your ancestor standing behind you. Look, he's even got sunglasses.
It's your guardian spirit, Ghost Raita-san.
Hase: Who the hell is Ghost Raita-san?!
And also, my family doesn't pass down our sunglasses through the generations!
Gin: Well, anyhow, this time you'll join hands with your ancestors and put the seat higher before you take the pictures.
Hase: ......Hey, I'm in the picture, but....
But now the guardian spirit behind me has a guardian spirit showing behind him!!
Gin: That's Ghost Raita-san's ghost writer. And further behind him is Ghost Raita's Ghost Writer's Ghost Writer...
.Hase: How the hell many ghost writers were in that tiny little boooooth?!!

Page 5:
Hase: What's going on? Is there a ghost cameraman behind the machine or something?!
Gin: Hey, look at the operation screen.
Screen: Please chose a mode
For a Resume [Clockwise from the top left]
For a Passport
For a License
For Falsifying Your Personal History
Gin: Hey, look, it says it has a mode for misrepresenting your personal history!
Hase: Why the hell does it have a disturbing mode like that?!
Gin: Well, this is Kabuki-cho. Town of ruffians and scoundrels after all. Just choose that one, it'll be fine.
Computer: Taking an identification photo for a resume.
Gin: Hey, hey, I'm sure it'll be fine.
Comp: What type of workplace would you like to work in?
Gin: They divide that into even more modes.
Screen: 1 Creative Job
2 Office
3 Physical Labor
4 Sales
Hase: I guess creative job.
Comp: Please answer more specifically.
1 High Income
2 Cheerful Workplace
3 Worthwhile Job
Gin: They sure are asking for specifics, ain't they? Does the photo-taking really deal with all that?
Hase: 1, high income, I guess.
Comp: Please answer even more specifically.
1 I want it to make me popular with the opposite sex
2 I want it to protect my family or perhaps get them back
3 I want it to gain status
Gin: Hey, this thing must be pretty high-tec, huh?
Hase: 2!! I want my family back!
Comp: Please answer more specifically.
That is impossible for you.
Hase: It gave uuuuuuuuuuuup!!

Page 6:
Hase: It threw all those questions at me and then just threw in the towel!!
Take the pictuuuure!! Why did a photo ID machine give up before even taking a picture?!!
Computer: Please select a job again
1 Creative Ghost Writer
2 Office Ghost Writer
3 Physical Labor Ghost Writer
4 Ghost Writer Ghost Writer
Hase: HEEEEEEEY! It's pretty much just the job of ghost writer now, ain't it?!!
Gin: I think you're aiming too high, man. Let's go with 5 "Part-Time Ghost Writer" for now.
Hase: What is a part-time ghost writer?!
Computer: Taking photo.
Gin: Well this way you can at least take the photo.
Computer: Please sit in the seat, sit up straight, and adjust the seat so that the camera is directly in front of your face.
Hase: Like this...?
Computer: Do you think the seat is perhaps a bit too high?
Hase: Still...?
Computer: Do you think the seat is perhaps a bit too high?
Hase: .........
Computer: Do you think the seat is perhaps a bit too high?
Computer: Do you think that your head is a bit too high?
Hase: You're making fun of me, aren't yoooooou?!!

Page 7:
Hase: This thing jjust said "head" just now!! I swear it did!!
Gin: Calm down. It's just some sorta photo machine prank.
Computer: Seriously, don't you think that chair's kinda high?
Hase: Why's it talking casually now?! The moment it heard ghost writer its whole attitude changed! Is this thing discriminating against people based on their job, dammit?!!
Computer: Okay, I'm taking i~~~~t
Say che~~~se!
Hase: Hey, wait, wait, wait!
Photo: Now on the market for a job
here with sunglasses!
Hase: Why's it look like a print-club photo?!!
Hase: The photos got flashy along with the tone of its voice!!
Why is even a ghost writer flashy?!
How the hell can I put photos like this on a resumeeeee?!!
Left Photo: Sunglasses with everyone forever!
Middle: Now on the market for a job here with sunglasses!
Right: Calling on the Three Sunglasses Group
Gin: Hey, look.
Screen: Camera Settings
Gal Type
Gin: It looks like somewhere along the line we switched the camera setting to gal-mode.
Hase: Does it really need a mode like that?!
Th... There are even more types.
There's big-breasted nurse and lewd multi-unit apartment wife, too.
Screen: Big-Breasted Nurse Type
Lewd Multi-Unit Apartment Wife
Sadistic Female Teacher Type
Masochistic Yanki [These last 3 are cut off]
Tidy Librarian Type
Arrested Woman Type
Wh... what kinda place is this?

Page 8:
Hase: I don't really get this. It kinda feels like it's forcing me along in certain directions.
Screen: That Older Girl Type
Hase: I guess I'll make it that older girl.
Computer: Oh~~ You haven't worked all day and now you're holing up in this photo machine playing games?
Hurry and sit in that seat!! I'll telling your father!!
Hase: That girl is too much oldeeeeeer!!
What do you mean my father? This totally sounds like a mother!!
Computer: Sit up straight and point your eyes forward, please.
Honestly, when are you planning on getting a job?
Hase: I'm here so I can get a job!!
Masashi-kun from the Tadokoro-san's place just got a job with a major IT company...
You could always beat him in running races. I wonder when he overtook you~~
Hase: Enough passive aggressive stuff! Just take the picture already you old bat!!
Comp: I'd really like to go back to those days if I could.
Sign: Dispensing Slot
Hase: Who the hell said for you to print out a photo of some old memory?! And who is this?! Is this a ghost-written story of me as a kid?! What the hell are you photographing with other people's money?!!

Page 9:
Hase: This isn't the time to be looking back on the past!!
I came here for a picture so I could move towards the future!!
Comp: What...? You can still
make... a face like that?
I'm relieved... It's okay then.
So hurry and get out of this cramped little room and go grab a hold of your future with those hands.
Paper: Mom will be out all day, so heat up the omelette rice in the refrigerator and eat it with dad.
Hase: A noooooooote?!
Weren't you gonna take my picture?! Hey! This old bat ended up not taking any picture at all!!

Page 10:
Gin: It really isn't good for moms to baby their kids, you know.
We'll make you look smart with the Father Type.
Screen: Father Type
Paper: I'm tired of omelette rice.
Hase: What the hell do you mean look smart? DAAAAAAAAD!!
Hase: Why is it connected to the mom one from before!?
Computer: It isn't.
Paper: Divorce Form [Top]
Dad [Left box]
Mom [Right box]
Hase: They got divorced over omelette rice?! This dad sure is hard to please!
Nooo!! These guys aren't intending to take a picture at all! This thing's so hard to operate that you can't use it at all!!
Zura: Hmph.
Stumbling just trying to take an ID photo, are you?
Zura: Your job search has only just begun, hasn't it?!!
How do you expect to get a job when you're falling apart here?!!
Hase: Zuracchi?!
T/N: I'm pretty sure Zuracchi is just an affectionate name Hasegawa calls Katsura.
Zura: It's not Zuracchi, it's Katsura.
Gin: That recruit suit... don't tell me...
Zura: I've come to take an ID photo as well.
Gin: Zura, have you finally decided to quit the Joui Patriots?
Zura: I'm not performing job-search activities I'm performing Joui activities!!

Page 11:
Zura: I've decided that in order to derail and destroy the Shinsengumi from the inside, I would enact a plan to infiltrate enemy territory.
And accompanying that, in order to enlist in the Shinsengumi, I figured I would need an ID Photo for a falsified resume.
Hase: And you're gonna take something dicey like that at a place like this?!
Zura: It seems you two do not know the specs of this machine.
Can't you see written here that if you master it, it allows you to create any sort of counterfeit?
Handwritten: Can be used for crimes as well!!
Hase: They announced something really outlandish pretty casually!!
Zura: This is a machine is a purveyor for the Joui Patriots. Allow me to demonstrate its use.
First, for me, I've chosen the history falsifying mode...
Computer: Now taking an ID Photo for a falsified personal history.
While assuming a posture in which you can jump off the chair and run at any moment, and while adjusting yourself so the camera is aimed at your face, make sure that no one is around and ascertain an escape route in case of an emergency as well as arrange a believable alibi with a friend...
Hase: Why are there so many instructioooons?!!
I'm burnt out before the picture's even been taken!! Just how scared does the guy have to be to take a damn photo?!
Computer: Please confirm your safety.
Please confirm your safety.
Comp: Once you have confirmed your safety, please adjust the height of your seat.
It is a bit low, don't you think?
Zura: H... How about not?
Comp: It is a bit low, don't you think?
Zura: Still?
Comp: It is a bit low, don't you think?

Page 12:
Comp: Regarding your payment, I mean...
Hase: It's asking for a briiiibe?!!
Comp: With this level of payment, there is a danger of your information leaking to the outside and the police may become aware of your disguise.
I do not particularly mind, but do you think perhaps your payment is too low?
Hase: It threatened hiiiim!! It's planning on informing on him if he doesn't pay some hush money!!
Comp: You are evil indeed.
Zura: Not at all. I'm nothing compared to you, ID Photo Machine-sama.
Hase: What kind of relationship is this?!
T/N: These are cliche lines said by evil magistrates taking bribes.
Comp: Bring the liquor! This night, we feast!!
Hase: Where did the geisha come froooom?!

Page 13:
Zura: And thus, I have quite simply created a false ID Photo.
Hase: What about that is false?! That's just a picture of you pulling some dumb stunt at a party, ain't it?!!
Zura: Okay, I will now be able to infiltrate the Shinsengumi. Just they wait!
Hase: Uh, Zuracchi! If you go there, you'll probably get killed!!
Zura: I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors as well, Hasegawa-san!!
Hase: I didn't learn anything at all from thaaaaaat!!
So, what exactly?! Is this ID Photo machine just completely useless then?!
Okita: Hey.
Guys: ?
Okita: If you're not usin' it, ya mind movin' outta the way?
Huh? Boss.
What're you doin' at a place like this.
Hase: Ah... That's...

Page 14:
Gin: What about you? What happened, they finally catch onto how corrupt you are and now you're out looking for new work?
Okita: No, I'm trying to get gain some new qualifications to get ahead in life.
I got this license for handling the universe's poisonous and hazardous substances, so I'm getting a photo ID for it.
Black Box: Universe's Poisonous and Hazardous Substance Handling License
Name: Okita Sougo
Hase: What the hell is this kid planning?!! It's pretty obvious he's up to no good!!
Okita: Hey, are you using this too, bosses?
Must 'a been tough. It's pretty good at not doing what ya say.
Want me to tell ya how to work it?
Guys: !!
Hase: The seat suddenly went all the way to the highest level!!
Comp: Please insert payme...
Okita: Sooorry, my hands can't reach.
Comp: Please adjust yourself so the camera is aimed at your fa...
Okita: Sooorry, my hands can't reach.
Comp: You can pay afterwards. I will move the camera so it aligns with the position of your chair, so please relax.
Hase: It had a system like thaaaat?!! This thing's debasing itself! It's getting overwhelmed by his sadism!!

Page 15:
Comp: Now taking photo.
Please stare straight at the camera.
Comp: S...
Hase: It threw uuuup!! It got so nervous that it vomited up ID Photooos!!
Comp: ID photos complete.
Please take the photos of the Joui Patriot and illegal worker from the slot, and I hope they will be useful for a speedy investigation.
Hase: It coughed up really easilyyyyy!!
Okita: You are evil indeed.
Zura: Not at all. I'm nothing compared to you, customer.
Okita: Bring the liquo~~r!
This night, we feast!
Okita: And that's pretty much how you do it.
Hase: It's no different from befooore!!
Okita: Okay, now I can poison both Katsura and Hijikata-san to death.
Good luck, you guys!
Hase: Hold ooooon!!

Page 16:
Hase: This ID Photo Machine is nothing but a dog for the police, ain't it?!!
There ain't any privacy with this thing at all!! I'm done! I'm not takin' an ID Photo with this thing!!
I'll try someplace else!!
Gin: Hey, no matter where you take it, it's gonna be the same. And anyhow, do you even have any money left?
Hase: ......!!
Gin: There's some left over from the money Okita put in. You should be able to take one more photo.
This is the last one.
If you're beaten by an ID Photo Machine, then you're not gonna win at the battle line of employment with the interviewer, either.
I'll be holding onto these and waiting for some good news.
Gin: That's enough of trying to hide your lack of confidence.
I know that your feelings towards making a comeback aren't that superficial.
So go get 'em buck naked.
Go burn the image of you the way you are
into that film.

Page 17:
Shin: Gin-san,
you've got some mail.
Gin: What's this?
Shin: It looks like a resume.
Gin: What? I don't remember offering any jobs...
Paper: Resume
Furigana Hasegawa Taizou [I'll go box by box here]
[Just leave the big Kanji]
38 years old
Male Female [Male is circled]
Desired Position
Ghost Writer of the Yorozuya
I'll do whatever you want, so please help me.
Bottom Chart: Year Month Education History - Job History
Education History
Kagura: Ah, Sadaharu, no!!
Do not do that, yes~~?! You are not supposed to poop here~~~
Gin: Kagura,
I've got some paper to wipe it up with here.
Insert: Survive, Madao!
Bottom: Gintama
...Lesson 487
/ End

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