Gintama 628

This chapter was long as fuck.

[Gintama 628 Translation by Kewl0210]
Page 1:
Insert: Evening deepens into night---
Right Insert: ☆Jump Comics Volume 68 goes on sale April 4th!!
Title: Lesson 628
When You Can't Get the Lid off a Jam Jar, Try Gripping it Tight with a Rubber Glove
Author: Sorachi Hideaki
Shin: ..........
Stepping back and taking a second look at things,
It's really impressive
that we've got this many people fighting with us.

Page 2:
Somebody: So, what?
Do you think the Liberation Army ain't comin' in the next day or two to get revenge
Box: Kabuki-Chou Four Heavenly Kings
Otose: So the town should be safe for a while?
Kon: They were cut off from their main unit out in space.
They lost their means of communication along with their chain of command.
An army that collapsed in conditions like that,
especially one as massive at the one we fought, won't regroup too easily.
Box: Shinsengumi

Page 3:
Hijikata: The group that fled are now under pursuit of the Bakufu Army and are in disarray.
If you can't even get a grip on your own army, you sure as hell don't have the ability to shift to offense.
Okita: In fact, this might be a good opportunity for us to attack. With that massive army isolated, it'll be hard for them to maintain supplies.
If we can get to their emergency supplies, then we'll beat 'em without even having to fight.
Sacchan: You intend to launch your own attack?
Do you perhaps want to kill them all?
I do believe our goal was to buy time until we can reach an armistice.
Box: Imperial Oniwabanshuu
Sa: If we corner that large an enemy any further, who knows how they'll retaliate.
Han: Also, there's the mercenary units we don't know the current status of to worry about.
Bin: We mustn't forget.
The victory we've had so far is no less than a miracle.
Box: Yagyuu Chinkage-Style
School

Page 4:
Guys: But it was costly as well.
To want anything more
is to make more sacrifices.
Tsuku: We ain't fightin' ta win.
We're fightin' ta stop tha fight.
If we go addin' any more ta tha damage,
we're as complicit as they are.
Box: Yoshiwara Defense Force
Hyakka
Guys: Seizing an opportunity is much like grasping hold of driftwood flowing in a river.
They cannot be seized easily, and if they escape, you cannot be certain that another will come floating by.
Holding back has its benefits, but this may be the last chance we arrive at to gain victory.
Box: Onmyouji
Ketsuno Group - Shirino Group

Page 5:
Ana: Elder Brother... Then are you saying we should fight?
Seimei: No. I just wish to emphasize that without careful deliberation, the sacrifices we've made thus far will be for naught.
Stopping a war requires the resolve to bear more risk than does starting a war.
Guys: That's right! Let's fight!!
No, wait!!
Gedou: ..........
Where are the members of the Yorozuya?
I'd like to know their opinion on whether we should ride this opportunity and attack the enemy or regroup?
Kagura: I am fine with getting curry.
Guys: Uh, nobody was talking about what to get for dinner, actually, Kagura-chan.
Box: Yorozuya
Shin: ---To be honest, with all of you here,
I feel that whatever direction we go with, it'll just work out somehow?
It's like there's nothing to fear.
Or well, I'm kinda touched.
Seeing so many different people fighting together like this
makes me feel glad to have been born in Edo on Earth.
S-Sorry. I know you weren't asking about that. J-Just ignore me.
Someone: No need to apologize.

Page 6:
Someone: Basically, compared to the feat of having so many humans here together under the umbrella of the same goal,
how you go about it or which direction you go in is trivial.
If ya got time for arguing with your allies, then just settle it with rock-paper-scissors osr something.
But ya made some reasonable points.
I'd rather go for a direct assault than give up on the enemy just 'cause we might need a little regrouping.
How about we sortie the Hevas?
Box: All-Purpose Oni-Shaped Decisive Weapon
Hevandorogon
SFX: GASHIN
T/N: A reference to the mechs (Evas/Evangelions) in Evangelion.
Gin: Whadda ya think, everybody?
Preparations are all complete and my synchronization rate is gettin' some sky-high numbers.
I'm ready to go whenever you are.

Page 7:
Someone: ...Well, this is a faction I don't remember seeing before...
What is that... What is a Heva? Do you guys know about this?
Gin: I'd like to ask the Yorozuya for their opinions, too.
Shin: You're part of the Yorozuya ya know!
Gin: Would it be best to sortie the Heva, or keep the Heva on standby? What do you think we should do with the Heva? Ya think it's cool?
Shin: SInce when did the choice all revolve around the Heva?
Gin: What do you think, Heva?
Heva: ...........
Gin: Hey, Heva!
Heva: ............
Someone: Um, Hedoro-san.
Hedoro: Oh, me? I think it could work.
Shin: Uh, it kinda looks like the Heva itself doesn't know what a Heva is.
Hiji: What do you think? I think it's still too soon... Kondou-san?
Kon: Mm. Yeah, I'd say the same thing.
Sa: Well, if he's saying he wants to go, I don't see why we don't just let him.
Right, Tsukky?
Tsu: Mm. I'm gotta go with her.
Jiro: Hmph. Guess we're relying on the youngsters.
Otose: Go do what you want with your Eva.
SOmeone: It''s not Eva, it's Heva, right?
Wait, I thought he said Nova.
Uh hold on...
what is an Heva?
Shin: Does nobody knooooow?!!

Page 8:
Shin: You joined into the conversation so quickly, I thought everybody but me knew what was going on.
Hiji: Same here.
Gin: Oh, didn't ya know? I thought everybody knew already.
Shin: How the hell would we know that?!! You haven't even explained anything!!
Gin: Well even without an explanation, you can pretty much tell what a Heva is.
Basically, in incidents separate from the Liberation Army, the world is nearly ended by Hedoro-san 7 times. And in the end, he becomes Heva, so it all works out nicely.
Shin: I wouldn't have guessed that even if I was psychic!! Where the hell did this complicated scenario come from?!
Gin: Basically, there's this devil inside Hedoro-san capable of destroying the world called Hedora.
But Hedoro-san is stopping him in an attempt to protect the world.
And after I saw hell 7 times, it dawned on me that my only choice is to make use of this power that could either save or destroy the world.
So basically, I'm gonna use the Hedoros' power against the Liberation Army to save the world.
Humanity's greatest enemy has been turned into its ultimate weapon.
And that is the All-Purpose Oni-Shaped Decisive Weapon, Hevandorogon.
Shin: What the hell kind of whacked-out monster did you creaaate?!!
Gin: It's okay. Through trial and error, I found a way to fully utilize Hedoro and Hedora's power.
Using these two flower-shaped levers, I can freely control the Heva.
It can even play the straight man. Go ahead, just try saying something funny.
Shin: Wait, I can't think of anything off hand. I'm usually the straight man!

Page 9:
Heva: Why don't I end humanity for ya?!
Shin: AAAUUUUUHH!
Gin: Okay, so if I work the right lever like that, the destructive devil Hedora personality comes out.
I mostly just use it for straight-man acts and when I've got a jam jar and I can't get the lid open.
Shin: That's what you use the power of the devil foooor?!! I'm gonna have to play the straight man for humanity here! I haven't surrendered to destruction yet!! That thing's way too dangerous!!
Gin: And then if I work the left lever, he follows that up.
Hedoro: You're not hurt, are you, Shinpachi-kun? I'm so sorry Hedora just ran wild like that.
Shiin: !
H-Hedoro-san.
Hedoro: Look oooout! There's a ladybuuuuuug!!
Shin: This is just the same thiiiiing!!
SFX: DOOON

Page 10:
Gin: Using this ability to switch between angel and demon, I'll protect mankind.
That's the whole of my Human Instrumentality Project.
Handwritten: Thank goodness you're all right.
Shin: The demon part is all I'm seeiiiiing!! Are you sure you don't mean Ladybug Instrumentality Project?!!
Heva: Why don't I end humanity for ya?!
Shin: He's doing a straight man act on the straight maaaan!!
SFX: GOFUH
Gin: You're blurting out incorrect things, so in other words you're the idiot to my straight man.
You'd better watch your mouth or I'll deem you the idiot and straight-man you something good.
Shin: Oh crap, the devil's got a devil riding on top of it!
Kon: Get away, Yorozuya, it's too dangerous!!
That's no just some straight man! It's butting-in to humanity itself, rather than to an idiot!
Before long, that straight man
won't just be going after the Liberation Army, it'll go after you, too!
Gin: Still...
I have no choice but to keep being the straight man, right?
Doomsday won't get any laughs... So until this world stops playing the idiot...
Kon: Then... butt-in to me!!
If you're still gonna go, then push right ahead and make comments about me!!
Gin: You're in the way, move.
Kon: Go right ahead!!
Gin: Move.
Kon: GOoooo!!

Page 11:
Gin: I can't make straight man comments here.
Cause you're not part of humanity...
you're a subhuman primate...
Kon: ......S-
Straight man.
Butt iiiiiin!
Hedoro: Watch oooout, a cockroaaaach!!
SFX: ZAZAA DOGAA

Page 12:
SFX: GOGOGOGO
Guys: Did he over-butt-in?!
Otae: He was more of a god than a devil.
If it weren't for this, we couldn't get Gin-san to rest.
I said you should take it easy today at least. Look like God got a break ready for you.
So don't worry Hedoro-san.
This idiot that was fiddling with people like they're robots was the one who should be sorry.
Hedoro: I'm so very sorry. It's just that to me, both you, Sakata-san, and a cockroach are equal previous earth friends.
Gin: Otae-chan, this god that's equating my life to a cockroach's sure is nice...

Page 13:
Tae: Oh you! Please cheer up! It's okay to be lower than a cockroach!
Heva: Why don't I end humanity for ya?!
Gin: This isn't gonna help me cheer up! Stop it with your tough love that's tough not to get flattened by!!
SFX: GUIH GOH
Shin: You really should rest though, Gin-san.
Gin: Tell that to your sister!
Shin: The war is going to continue tomorrow, after all.
Thinking about it now, you've been fighting non-stop ever since we got back to Edo, haven't you, Gin-san?
No, even further than that. Even back to Rakuyou and Kokujou Island...
SFX: KOKUN KOKUN
Shin: You're always fighting till you're beaten to a mess
and keep pushing yourself on pure emotion,
but you must be totally exhausted at this point, right?
Otae: The same goes for you two, right?
He's been working you really hard.
That's sure a lot to do free of charge.

Page 14:
Otae: You di well keeping up
with this good-for-nothing boss.
But maybe thanks to such unreliable adults
you two...
have gotten stronger.

Page 15:
SFX: SUU SUUU
Otae: Looks like these two
took the futon.
If only they'd lasted a littl longer,
they'd have heard something they don't get to hear too often.

Page 16:
Gin: There's still a long way to go.
For them and for me.
SFX: GUAAAA
Okita: Hijikata-san, when the hell are we gonna get ta sleep?
Didn't we say we were gonna rest our bodies today 'n figure out a plan ta fight the Liberation Army tomorrow?
Hiji: If the world ends, we're gonna get a lot more sleep than we want.
We should enjoy this mortal coil while we can.
Okita: Well the only way to enjoy a world as dark as this one
is sleeping or you-know-what.
You ever hear how
whenever there's a big blackout in a city, there's a big population boom the next year?

Page 17:
Somebody: If Edo isn't destroyed I think it's safe to say the birth rate's gonna go up.
SFX: DOH AHA
Hiji: That is the thing I'm looking for. ["That' in italics]
Okita: Huh? You mean a partner for you-know-what?
Hiji: No!
The guy who not only shut off the electricity, but also stopped all the machines in Edo.
Hiraga Gengai.
Without that virus cannon that stopped the battleships and blocked their communications,
We're gonna need him to take some measures for us.
Paper: Please have a good rest and take in some nutrition.
Guy: OId man Gengai?
Haven't seen 'im in a while.
He definitely almost got captured by the mercenaries, but I saw him escape.
Dunno what happened to 'im after that though.

Page 18:
Somebody: Huh? Gengai-san?
Yeah, he escaped with me.
On the way he was sayin' how there was somethin' he really needed to.
He left the group and didn't come back after that.
Huh? Gengai?
He hid behind some stuff and yelled out askin' for some paper.
Dunno whose it was,
but I could hear some feeble voice from the other side 'a the wall saying,
God, please help me.
It kinda freaked me out, so I didn't get close.
SFX: HICC HICC
SFX: HYOI
Hiji: I don't mind if you're wiping while you do it, but listen up.
I've got a favor to ask you, Gengai.
Bottom: Gintama
...Lesson 628
/ End

Page 19:
Hiji: Gengai...?!
Gen: ----Hoh.
The Liberation Army wants an old dotard like me?
Yato: Well done.
Gengai, or whatever your name. You already know
why it is you are here, yes?
Gen: ...Yeah. For the things that I've done,
you want me to wipe up after myself, right?
Insert: Maybe take care of that first... ->