Undercurrent 11

NCIS
１
結末は知りたいけどずっとよんでいたかった。応援感謝です。
I wanted to know the ending, but I also wanted to keep on reading it. Thank you for your continual support.

現実と向かい、大切な人々と日々を過ごしてきたら結論は出ていた。
Heading towards the truth, passing through the days with the people most important to us, we reach the conclusion.

最終話
The Last Chapter

２
失踪した夫が見つかった。嘘で固めた彼の真実は何なのか。おそらく最後になる対面へ向かう、かなえ。
The husband who had disappeared has been found. What is the truth behind his web of lies. Kanae heads towards what could perhaps become her final meeting with him.

。。。彼はどこにいたんですか
Kanae: ... Where was he?
はっきりとしたことはこたえられないんですが。。。　島です
Yamazaki: I can't really answer that clearly but... an island
島？
Kanae: An island?

そう しかも　一応東京都なんですよね
Yamazaki: Yup, and what more he was even once in the Tokyo metro area
。。。どうしてわかったんです？
Kanae: ... How do you know all this?

これいっちゃっていいのかなあ。。。　まあいいや
Yamazaki: I wonder if it's okay to tell you this but... Whatever
あのね　彼も探偵を雇ってたんですようちの社じゃないけど
Yamazaki: Well, he hired a detective too. But it wasn't from my agency

ええ！？
Kanae: Huh!?
まあ　彼も消えたもの　のあとのことがきがかりだったんでしょうなあ
Yamazaki: He must have been worried about what would happen after he disappeared
あなたの身辺をウロチョロしてた奴に気づきませんでした？
Yamazaki: Didn't you notice a guy sneaking about around you?

３
いえ全然。。。
Kanae: No, not at all...

前に遊園地で待ち合わせしたでしょう　あの時変な奴にきがついたんですよ　それであちこち歩いてもらったんです
Yamazaki: We met at an amusement park before, right? I noticed someone weird then, so I had you walk around a bit
そしたら案の定　あなたを尾行していたわけです　あなたと別れたあと　そいつをとっ捕まえたらやっぱり同業でした
Yamazaki: And just as I expected, he was tailing you. After we parted I caught up to him and sure enough he was in the same business

まあ雇い主　訊いたって　フツー教えちゃくれませんけど　そこはまあ　いろいろとナニしてですね。。。　なんとか　つきとめたわけです
Yamazaki: I asked him who hired him and, normally you wouldn't give it out, but, well... I have my ways and worked my magic and was able to find out anyhow.
手の内明かしちゃうとナンてことないでしょう？
Yamazaki: When I reveal all my secrets, it's really not that impressive is it?

。。。怒りました？
Yamazaki: ... Are you angry?

。。。心中お察しします
Yamazaki: ... I sympathize with you

５
僕の知り合いのやってる店でしてね　定休日なのをちょっと借りたんです
Yamazaki: This is a shop that an acquaintance of mine runs. They're on holiday so I'm just borrowing it for a bit.

ちょっとここで待っててください
Yamazaki: Wait here please
コーヒーでいいですか？
Yamazaki: Would you like some coffee?
はい。。。
Kanae: Please...

７
髪伸びたね
Kanae: Your hair grew out
うん
Satoru: Yeah
それからひげも
Kanae: Your beard too

８
なんだかこのごろ男の人はみんなヒゲ生やしてるみたい
Kanae: Somehow it seems like recently all the men have been growing beards.

元気？
Satoru: You've been alright?

まあね　元気よ
Kanae: Yeah, I've been okay.
おばさんは？
Satoru: And Auntie?
変わりないよ　クラも元気
Kanae: Same as ever, Kura's fine too
でもそんなこと全部しってるんじゃないの？　報告書で
Kanae: But you know all that already didn't you? From the reports

あっ
Satoru: Ah-

えー　お待たせしました　当店特製のブレンドです
Yamazaki: Ah, sorry for the wait, this is our special house blend.

９
ではごゆっくり
Yamazaki: Please enjoy

。。。あの変わった探偵さんは君が雇ったの？
Satoru: ...Is that weird detective the one you hired?
うん　まあ　なりゆきでね　菅野の薦めなの
Kanae: Yup, well, that's what ended up happening, Kanno recommended him
ああ。。。　よう子ちゃん元気？
Satoru: Ah... and is Youko-chan well?
元気よ １歳になる子供がいるの
Kanae: She's well, she's got a kid who's about to turn 1

あたしたちにも子供がいればこんなことにはならなかったのかな
Kanae: I wonder if this sort of thing wouldn't have happened If we had kids

どうして黙って消えたの
Kanae: Why did you leave without saying anything?

１１
おや　お出かけかな？
Sabu: Oh, are you going out?

それとも旅立ちか。。。
Sabu: Or are you setting off on a journey...

どれ　ひとつ　見送るとするか
Sabu: Whichever it is, shall I see you off once?

１２
ぼくはうそつきなんだ
Satoru: I'm a liar.

小さいころ両親が死んだというのも嘘なんだ　２年前まで生きてたずっと会ってなかったけど
Satoru: I lied about my parents dying when I was young. They were alive until 2 years ago, though I hadn't met them in a while.

そのことは知ってる　山崎さんが調べてくれたの
Kanae: I knew that. Yamazaki-san looked into it for me.

僕は子供の頃から大嘘つきでね　なんの罪悪感もなく　スラララと　口からでまかせばかりでるんだ
Satoru: Every since I was a child I've been a huge liar. Nonsense would just come spouting out of my mouth with even the slightest feeling of guilt.
外面がいいから　はじめのうちは皆　信じるでもそのうち　おかしいと思う奴が一人二人　出てくる
Satoru: I carried myself well so in the beginning everyone trusted me, but sooner or later, there would be 1 or 2 guys who would start to suspect

１３
でもそういう奴は僕より　口が立たないことが多いから早めにつぶしておくんだ
Satoru: But there would be many things those guys wouldn't be as eloquent as I would be about so I would be able to deal with them early on
でもそんなことは　いつまでも　続かない　一つの嘘をつき通すのに　さらに１０も２０も嘘をつき続けなきゃならないからね
Satoru: But I couldn't continue doing that sort of thing forever, because to sustain one lie, I would have to continue telling 20 or 30 lies

。。。やがて　破綻が来るそしてその場から逃げていく
Satoru: ... Eventually the bubble would burst, and I would run away from wherever I was

ずっとこれの繰り返しだよ
Satoru: That's what's repeated for a long time.

会社を辞めて銭湯の仕事に就いたのも　本当は会社にいられなくなったからなんだ
Satoru: Quitting the company and working at the bath house was one too. The truth was that I couldn't remain in the company.
会社の子の不祥事を僕が　肩代わりしたように見せかけたけど　本当は僕が全部やったんだ
Satoru: I made it look like I was taking the fall for my co-worker's scandal but actually I was responsible for all of it

ひどい男だろう？　なんでこんなひどい男のいうことを皆信じるのかって思うよね　でも人を信じさせることなんて簡単なんだ
Satoru: I'm a cruel man, aren't I? You must be wondering why everyone would trust such a cruel person, but it's easy to make people trust you
僕はその人が何を信じたがっているか　何を言ってもらいたいかが　手に取るようにわかる　そしてそれを与えることができる
I understand what those people want to believe in and what they want to be told as if they were in the palm of my hand. And I was able to give those things to them.

１４
人は本当のことより心地いい嘘のほうが好きなんだよ
Satoru: People prefer pleasant lies rather than the truth
皆　本当のことなんか知りたくないんだ　騙されたがっているんだよ
Satoru: Nobody wants to know something like truth. They all want to be deceived.
あたしのこともそう思ってたの？
Kanae: Did you think that way about me too?

あたしと結婚したのも会社の嘘をごまかすためだったの？
Kanae: Was getting married to me just so you could deceive people about the lies you told at the company.

あたしにいったことや二人で話し合ったことも 何から何まで全部嘘だったの
Kanae: Were the things you told me and the things we talked about together -from the beginning to the end- all lies?

１５
この間の連れ去り事件 無事 子供が戻ってよかったのう
Sabu: It's a good thing that the kid came back unharmed from that kidnapping case that happened a bit ago.
本当に昨今は子供にとって生きづらい時代になった
Sabu: It truly has become, in the past years, a tough time to be alive for kids.

このあたりじゃそんな物騒な事件はついぞおこったことなかったんだがなあ
Sabu: Around here, an incident that dangerous has never occurred before but

。。。そういえば　昔似たようないやもっとひどい結末の事件が起こったことがあったなあ
もう２５年くらい前のことだが
Sabu: ... now that I mention it, there was a similar- no, an incident with an even worse outcome that happened. It was 25 years ago.

このあたりに住んどった　小さな女の子が連れさらわれた事件があったんじゃよ
Sabu: There was an incident where a little girl who lived around here was kidnapped

いたましいことにここから　離れた場所にあった池で　首を絞められた溺死体で発見されたんじゃ
もう　その池は　埋め立てられて団地になっとるが。。。
Sabu: It was a real tragedy. She was strangled and her drowned body was discovered in a pond at a location away from here. The pond's been filled up and it's become multi-unit apartment complex but...

１６
結局犯人は捕まらず　その女の子の家族はどこかへ　引っ越して行方もわからなくなった
すべては遠い昔の話じゃ
Sabu: The criminal was never apprehended and the girl's family moved somewhere unknown. It's all a story of the bygone past.

あの女の子には五つ年上の兄がいて　当時小学生だったな
Sabu: That girl had a brother who was five years older. At the time he was an elementary school student.
生きておれば３５～３６になっているであろう
Sabu: If he were alive he'd be around 35 or 36

それで今ごろ何をしに着たんじゃね、お兄さん
Sabu: So, what could he have come to do now, eh? "Brother"?

１７
嘘つきが　「それは嘘だよ」っていったらそれは本当かな？
Satoru: If a liar said, "That is a lie" would it be true?
それとも嘘かな？
Satoru: Or would it be a lie?

もう僕には何が嘘で何が本当なのか　よくわからない
Satoru: I don't really know what was a lie and what was the truth anymore
。。。でも　君には本当のことを打ち明けたかった
Satoru: ... But I wanted to confide everything in you

何もかも本当のことを打ち明けて君にわかってもらいたかった　君と一緒に本当のことをわかちあいたかった
Satoru: To confess anything and everything to you, and to have you know everything- I wanted to figure out everything together with you
きみに。。。　助けてもらいたかった
Satoru: I wanted you... to save me.

でもどうしても駄目だった、　何度も君に伝えようとしたのに
Satoru: But no matter what, I couldn't do it. No matter how many times I tried to tell you
本当のことになると怖くて何も話せなかった
Satoru: Whenever it got close to the truth I got scared and couldn't say anything

１８
。。。あなたが苦しんでたのは知ってたよ
Kanae: ... I knew that you were suffering

いや　あなたがいなくなってからだんだんとわかってきたんだけどね
Kanae: Rather, I slowly realized it after you had disappeared

あなたは私に必死にサインをだしていたんだよね
Kanae: You were desperately giving me a sign
今となってはそれがわかる
Kanae: Now, I realize that.

でもそういうことにきがつかなかったのは私が本当のあなたの姿をみようとしなかったからかもしれないね
Kanae: But perhaps I didn't notice it because I wasn't trying to see your actual 'self'
。。。　私は自分の本当の姿だってよくわからないもの
Kanae: ... I mean, I don't even really know my own actual 'self'

君は嘘つきじゃないよ
Satoru: You aren't a liar
君はそんな弱い人じゃない
Satoru: You aren't that much of a weakling

ううん　私は強くなんかないよ　弱い人間だよ
Kanae: No, I'm not strong or anything. I'm a weak person.

１９
私たちお互いのこと　何にもわかってなかったのかもしれないね
We both might have never understood anything about each other at all

。。。そうだね
... Yeah

。。。別に何かをしに来たわけじゃないんです
Hori: ... I didn't really come for any particular reason
たまたま。。。　本当にたまたまなんです
Hori: It was by chance... And I mean, really by chance.

あの事件のあと親父の田舎の九州のほうに引っ越して　そこで事件のことを忘れて新しくやり直すはずだったんですが。。。
Hori: After the incident, we moved out to the country side of Kyushu where my old man was from. We were supposed to forget about the event and start over but...
母親がずっと自分を責めつづけて精神的に参ってしまったんですね
Hori: My mother always blamed herself and it took a toll on her mentally

親父が　いくら母親のせいではないといってもだめでした
Hori: No matter how many times my old man told my mother it wasn't her fault it didn't matter
結局　家庭内はグチャグチャになって父親とおふくろは離婚しました
Hori: In the end, it was just too much for the family, and my father and mother divorced

事件というのは残された者にいつまでも影をおとすからな
Sabu: An incident always casts a shadow over those who are left behind
君はどうだったのかね
Sabu: And what about you?

ぼくは。。。　ぼくも自分を責めました　責めるというより。。。
Hori: I... I also blamed myself. More than just blamed...
妹を守れなかった無力感にずっとつきまとわれました
Hori: I was haunted by the sense of powerlessness of not being able to protect my sister

ぼくは妹が好きでした　小さい頃はよく一緒に遊んだんです
Hori: I loved my sister. When we were young we played together all the time.
でも小学校の学年が上がるにつれ　ぼくは同い年の友だちとばかり遊ぶようになりました
Hori: But as I got to the elementary school age, I started to only play with my friends that were the same age

２１
五つ下の妹と遊んでいるのを友だちにからかわれて　距離をおくようになったのかもしれません
Hori: It might have been that I was teased for playing with my sister who was 5 years younger and distanced myself
とにかく　ぼくは妹とは別の世界をつくって　妹は家の離れた同い年の女の子と遊ぶようになったんです
Hori: Anyways, I created a separate world from my sister, and my sister began to play with a girl around her age away from our home


それがかな坊か。。。
Sabu: And that was Kana-bou...
。。。母親が離婚してから僕は母親について　あちこちを転々としました
Hori: ... After my mother got divorced, I went with my mother and moved around from here to there.
。。。新しい場所に移れば移るほどいろんなことが悪くなっていくようでした。。。　その頃の記憶はあまりないです
Hori: ... The more we moved to new places the worse things got... I don't have very many memories from around that time

このあたりにはあれ以来　ずっと近寄ってなんかったんです　でもある時仕事で近くを通りかかって。。。
Hori: After what had happened, I hadn't approached the area for a long time, but one time for work I was passing close by.

思わずこの辺をフラフラと歩いていたんですね
Hori: Without thinking I walked aimlessly around here

そのとき犬の散歩をしていた一人の女性がむこうから歩いてきて。。。
Hori: And then I saw a single woman taking a dog out for a stroll walking towards me
一目でぼくはあの女の子だとわかりました
Hori: With one look I knew that was the girl

２２
いや　その時ぼくは彼女がまるで妹に見えたんです
Hori: No, at that time I saw her completely as my sister
妹が大きくなったら　こうなっていたんじゃないか。。。　そういう想像にぴったりのすがただったんです
Hori: If my sister grew up, wouldn't she look like that...? Her appearance was exactly how I imagined it

心臓が止まりそうな思いですれ違ったんですが
Hori: I passed by her feeling like I thought my heart would stop but
もちろん　彼女はぼくに気がつきはしませんでした
Hori: Of course, she didn't notice me

その後　何度かここに来て遠くから彼女のことを見ようとしました
Hori: After that, I came by often trying to watch her from afar
一回だけ　客として銭湯に入ったこともあります
Hori: Just once, I even entered the bath house as a customer.

そうしているうちに　いつからか銭湯がずっと休業していて
Hori: While that was happening, at some point the bath house started always being closed
近所の人にきいたら旦那さんがいなくなったとのことでした
Hori: When I asked the people around, they said it was because her husband had disappeared

それで釜焚きとしてもぐりこんだのか
Sabu: And so you slipped in as the boiler manager

２３
僕は昔旅館で働いてたこともあるし　いろいろ資格も持っていましたから
Hori: I had worked at an inn before so I had the various qualifications
組合を訪ねたらすぐ紹介してくれることになったんです
Hori: When I asked the association they introduced me right away

。。。なんのためにここに来たのか自分でもよくわからないんですよ
Hori: ... I'm not really sure why I came here myself

彼女のことを妹だと思ったわけではありませんし
Hori: It's not like I think of her as my sister
ぼくのことを気がついてほしいと思ったわけでもないんです
Hori: And it's not that I think I want her to notice me
だいたい　彼女はそんな昔の事件のことは忘れているように見えました
Hori: For the most part, I viewed her as having forgotten about that incident that had happened so long in the past

。。。でも違う　忘れてなんかいない
Hori: ... But I was wrong. She hadn't forgotten at all.
彼女はずっと傷ついて苦しんできたんだと思います
Hori: I think she had been bearing the wounds and suffering the whole time

なぜ　そのことをあの子にいわない？
Sabu: Why didn't you say that to her?

どうしてそのことを伝えない？　とうして己のことをあの子に打ち明けないんだ？
Sabu: Why weren't you able to tell her? Why didn't you reveal who you were to her?

２４
それは。。。　いったところでなんにもならないし　彼女も苦しむだけです
Hori: That's... Nothing would come of it if I told her. It would only make her suffer.

そんなことわからんだろう！　それに今のままでも苦しんだから　ひとつ　ふたつ　増えたって　どってことあるかい！
Sabu: You don't know that! And she's suffering as it is now so what's one or two more things?

一人の女の子を間にはさんで　つながっとる二人だろう
Sabu: If you put yourself in between what that woman's going through, then you'll be connected as two people
お互いに苦しみをぶつけ合えばいい！　傷ついたら泣いてそのことを伝え合えばよい！
Sabu: You should deal with your suffering together! If you're injured then you should cry and talk with each other about it

それでお互いにわかりあえるとは限らんが　苦しみなんてのは内に秘めとくと身を腐らせるだけじゃぞ
Sabu: Though you might not be able to understand each other though it, keeping something like your suffering to yourself will just rot you from the inside out

。。。ぼくがかなえさんにできることは何もないと思います
Hori: ... I don't think there's anything I can do for Kanae-san.

ぼくはここに来るべきじゃなかったんです
Hori: I should not have come here.

２５
。。。今さら　こんあんこというのも偽善だけどいきなり仕事を投げだしたのは本当に悪かったと思ってる
Satoru: ... For me to say this now is also really hypocritical but, I think it was really awful of me to suddenly abandon my job
でもまじめそうな人があとに入ったみたいで少しホッとしてたんだ
Satoru: But someone who seemed diligent stepped in afterward so I was a bit relieved.

まじめな人だよ　でもいついなくなるかわからないんだ　
Kanae: He is diligent, but I don't know when he'll be leaving
でもいいんだ　あたしはもう男なんか　頼らないからね
Kanae: But it's fine, I'm not going to rely on men anymore

重油のバーナーも揃えてあたしとおばさんと二人だけでやっていくよ
Kanae: I'm getting the oil burner ready and Auntie and I will be able to do it by ourselves.

２６
ぼくはもう行くよ
Satoru: I'm going to get going

あとで離婚届をぼくの所を埋めて郵送するよ
Satoru: The divorce papers are buried at my place so I'll send it to you later

僕の物は全部処分してほしい　また勝手なこといってすまないけど
Satoru: I'd like you to get rid of all my things. Sorry for saying something so selfish again

まだとうして出て行ったのか聞いてないよ
Kanae: I still haven't heard why you left.

あたしの所では何がだめになったの？　どういう嘘でいられなくなったの？
Kanae: Was there something you couldn't stand about me? Some lie that made it so you couldn't stay anymore?

。。。僕は嘘つきだからね
Satoru: ... I'm a liar so...

２７
君のことが本当にすきでだから　一緒にいるのがつらくなった。。。っていうのでどう？
Satoru: I really loved you, and so, it became painful being together with you... How about that?

最後に思いっきりひっぱたいていい？
Kanae: Can I slap you as hard as I can one last time?
いいよ。。。
Satoru: Go ahead...

２８
カゼひかないでね　食事ちゃんと摂らなきゃだめだよ
Kanae: Don't catch a cold, and don't skip your meals
。。。うん
Satoru: ... Yeah

離婚届送るときちゃんと住所書いてね　あとで保険証とか送るから
Kanae: When you send the divorce papers make sure you write your address, I'll send you your insurance card later
いや。。。
Satoru: You don't have to...
。。。うん
Satoru: ... Okay.

あたしたち　もっと前にこんあふうに話せたらよかったのにね
Kanae: It would've been good for us if we were able to talk like this before

うん。。。
Satoru: Yeah...

２９

。。。さよなら
... Goodbye
。。。さよなら
... Goodbye

どうしても行くのか？
Sabu: You're going to go no matter what?

３０
。。。ええ
Hori: ... Yes

。。。そうか
Sabu: ... That so
ま　それもまた人生
Sabu: Well, that's life too.

おバスが来たようじゃ
Sabu: Oh, looks like the bus is here

じゃあ達者でな
Sabu: Well, stay healthy

さよなら
Hori: Goodbye

３３
アンダーカレント　完
Undercurrent End

立ち止まる。歩き出す。もといた場所へ。未来へ

Stop and pause. Walk and venture forth. Towards the place where you were before. Towards the future.


Notes:
Probably a lot of grammar mistakes since I'm tired and words dropped here and there.

In retrospect, should probably go back to chapter 5 and change Sabu calling Hori back to "bro" so it foreshadows more.

here's the 'self' issue again that i repeated here for consistency the same way i translated it in umm... 8 or 7?

I should probably find a better word for when Kanae asks if Hori is going to stay. But "I'm not going to stay forever" just sounds so much better... I forget what chapter that's in!