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translation-needs-proofread

Gamaran 4

en
+ posted by Lingwe as translation on Jun 16, 2009 04:34 | Go to Gamaran

-> RTS Page for Gamaran 4

Gamaran Chapter 4

I should have done this earlier, sorry Ju-da-su (*feels ashamed). I was going to do it a few days ago but then I went off to Sydney and kept on putting it off. I will try and keep up to date from now on :tem

Page 1

-Who would have thought that you would launch a surprise attack.
-However... / Once it becomes a frontal fight
-A naginata...
-Will definitely win against a sword!!
-A huge sensation already! That battle for the position of peerless!!

Page 2

-Heh, is that right?
-we won't know until we try it.
-(Title) Chapter 4
-(side) The story so far, Martial artists are gathering at the "Haunt of Demons" Unabara, the Great Unabara Competition comprised of 31 martial arts styles competeting to become unrivaled has begun. Washizu Naoyoshi has led Kurogane Gama of the Ogame style to aim for the position of the strongest!

Page 3

-(SFX)Nyah
-Begin!
-A simulatenous attack on the top, middle, and bottom from outside sword's range!

Page 4

-The right takes the head
-The left takes the legs
-Even if he moves back we pierce his chest!
-This simultaneous attack definitely cannot be avoided!
-We'll kill him from a range where he is unable to counterattack with his sword!!
-(SFX)Gaa

Page 5

-(SFX)Kin
-Kuu!
-Hoo...simple methods are no good huh...
-...He's better than I thought...
-Gama
-Owowow...the middle attack brushed me.
-I guess this won't go as I thought it would...
-He jumped up to avoid the bottom strike
-He stopped my upper strike, he could use that sort of power...
-He escaped back out of range while avoiding my middle strike

Page 6

-We'll go with "Renge"! (TN- Connected Flowers)
-Wha...
-No way...
-Using Renge against a sword opponent!?
-Using it against a naginata or spear opponent is one thing
-Hm?
-(handwritten) Renge?
-But going so far as to use it against a sword opponent with short range and weak defensive techniques!?
-That guy Gama is strong Yakushiji.
-That's why...

Page 7

-He has to die here for sure.
-Tengen Style Secret Technique "Renge"

Page 8

-Baian is collecting all of his body weight at one point
-Something close to a desperation attack will be coming
-But if I can dodge his first big swing and get up close
-The naginata's advantage will disappear and it will be my win!
-Here it is!
-A lower attack

Page 9

-Alright!
-Got him!!

Page 10

-Alright!
-Got him!!
-Since he believes Baian has over extended his naginata
-That guy has over extended himself to close combat, where the Naginata is at a disadvantage!
-Renge First Flower "Tsubaki" (TN- Camellia)

Page 11

-Wha!?
-My legs!!?
-So fast!!

Page 12

-Th-that was dangerous, my sword can't stand up to attacks like that!
-Second Flower
-"Botan" (TN-Peony)

Page 13

Page 14

-(SFX)Bushuu
-(SFX)Bushuu
-My sword...
-They were aiming for the sword!?
-Guah
-(SFX)*thunk

Page 15

-His posture and stance are ruined and there is no more sword!
-This will settle it!
-Third Flower "Kuchinashi" (TN-Gardenia)

Page 16 17

-(SFX)Gaga
-(SFX)Gagagaga

Page 18

-Renge's Three Flowers Completion
-It's our win!
-What!
-Impossible
-Th-That was tooo close~~~
-This is Bisentou's power!

Page 19

-He did that kind of thing...
-He stopped a blade moving that fast with just the sword guard!
-What concentration and skill.
-...I'm glad...that I came to the Haunt of Demons after all...
-For there to be guys that are this amazing here...

Page 20

-So then...Baian-san...
-How about this time I show you "Ogame Style",
-(bottom) Next time! Chapter 5!! Gama's counterattack starts!! Ogame's secret sword style explodes!!

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6 members and 10 guests have thanked Lingwe for this release

Mooncrow, DrunkDragon, Rena Chan, eyesotope, Trancesetter, puremadniss

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#1. by Ju-da-su ()
Posted on Jun 16, 2009
Don't worry, Lingwe...I still have yet to get my last week FT and CB Thai translations done as well...so...take your time...scanlation of chapter 3 isn't out yet as well, so I guess it's all fine if you're late...>___<"
#2. by kakashi919 ()
Posted on Jun 16, 2009
thank you again!

i was doing this series... but when i was doing it i got the blue screen of crap and lost all of it so -.- i kinda lost interest.
#3. by Lingwe ()
Posted on Jun 16, 2009
Ah the blue screen of death, how I hate it.
#4. by Amit ()
Posted on Jun 16, 2009
The blue screen of death... D:

Drove me insane while I was playing Bioshock.
#5. by kakashi919 ()
Posted on Jun 16, 2009
yeh it sucks big time.... if it was a shorter chapter i would have continued but it was 70 pages :(
#6. by Ju-da-su ()
Posted on Jun 17, 2009
Blue screen of death...? :o

*look at people with curious eyes*
#7. by Quintuple ()
Posted on Jun 17, 2009
You wanted it proofread, you get it proofread. Look for a ★, they are right ★before things I've changed.

On a general note, to me it seems you are translating a bit too literally; feel free to translate a little more freely: it makes things flow better. That's pretty much all I think can be improved in your translation :)


Page 1

-However... / Once it becomes a frontal fight
>> Once it becomes a ★direct ★confrontation

Page 2

-(side) The story so far, Martial artists are gathering at the "Haunt of Demons" Unabara, the Great Unabara Competition comprised of 31 martial arts styles competeting to become unrivaled has begun. Washizu Naoyoshi has led Kurogane Gama of the Ogame style to aim for the position of the strongest!
>> 'competeting to become unrivaled' -> it should be ★competing (English is weird like that: you compete at a competition). Also, consider 'competing to become known as the best' or something similar.

Page 3

-A simulatenous attack on the top, middle, and bottom from outside sword's range!
>> A ★simultaneous attack on the top, middle★ and bottom

Page 5

-He stopped my upper strike, he could use that sort of power...
>> He stopped my upper strike★; he ★has that ★kind of power...

Page 6

-That guy Gama is strong Yakushiji.
>> is strong★, Yakushiji.

Page 8

-Baian is collecting all of his body weight at one point
>> Consider using 'body ★mass'.

Page 10

-Since he believes Baian has over extended his naginata
>> has over★-extended his naganita
-That guy has over extended himself to close combat, where the Naginata is at a disadvantage!
>> That guy has ★put himself ★into close combat,

Page 15

-His posture and stance are ruined and there is no more sword!
>> His posture and stance are ruined and ★his ★sword ★is ★broken!

Page 19

-For there to be guys that are this amazing here...
>> For guys that are this amazing to be here...

About the author:

Alias: Lingwe
Message: Pm

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