Hokenshitsu no Shinigami 17

Here we go, finally got it up. School really got into swing for me this past week and even though I'm only taking four classes, I'm still just as busy as I was taking six DDD:

We got some new characters this time around. I chose to refer to them by their last name...mostly because that's what I've known them by (same as all the main characters, except for "Touya" because Kaburagi is called Kaburagi). Just making note of that ;D

As always, this is reserved for Muda Scans. See something wrong, tell me. Now, onward!

Page 1
Hades-sensei：　写真・・・？
僕の・・・？
全然かまわないけど・・・どうして・・・
A picture...?
Of me...?
I don't mind at all but...why?

Yamada：　あっ
あの・・・あれです！　ヘンなことに使おうとかそういうのじゃにです断じて
ただその・・・
が・・・
学校新聞に載せようと・・・
Ah...
Well, that's...we're absolutely not going to use it for anything weird!
Just...
It's...
It's going to be in the school paper.

Text box：　新聞部員　２年
山田可音
Newspaper club second year
Yamada Kanon

Hades-sensei：　いつでもどうぞ・・・
Go ahead at any time.

Yamada：　で・・・できればいつもの感じてお願いしたいんですけど
If you always wanted it, you could have just asked...


Page 2
Text：　翌日
The next day

Newspaper：　常伏タイムス
噂の新任養護教諭に
突撃
恐怖の顔面を見よ
至近距離での撮影に成功！
謎の液体を飲まされる生徒
Tokofushi Times
An assault on the rumored new school nurse!
Look at this scary face!
Successfully photographed at point-blank range! What mysterious liquid are the students being made to drink?

Title：　保健室　ｖｓ　新聞部
The Infirmary vs the Newspaper Club


Page 3
Ashitaba：　何これ？
What the heck!

Mimasaka：　完全に陳情扱いじゃねーか・・・
しかもオレらまで載るなんて訊いてねーぞ！
Aren't they just using this as a petition?
And even we're on it! They didn't even ask us!

Fuji：　そうか？　大してヘンなこと書いてねーじゃん
Really? They didn't really write anything weird.

Mimasaka：　藤・・・おまえ・・・
Fuji, you're so...

Ashitaba：　こんなのいくらなんでも先生がかわいそうだよ
先生ただでさえ誤解されてるのに・・・
Anyway you look at it, sensei is really pitiful.
He's misunderstood even under normal circumstances...

Mimasaka：　昨日の新聞部の仕業だな
部室乗り込んで文句言ってやろーぜ！
This is the work of the newspaper club yesterday.
We should storm into the clubroom and give 'em a piece of our mind!

Vice principal：　あー・・ハデスくん
今日の学級新聞のことだがね・・・
その・・・あまり気にせんことだ　　前々から新聞部はろくなことをしないと教員の間でも度々話題になるし・・・
あまり君に落ちこまれると職員室の空気が著しく淀んで
・・・ん？
Um, Hades-kun.
About today's school newspaper...
Um...that the newspaper club doesn't act decently has often been a topic of conversation among the staff.
When you're none too pleased, the atmosphere in the staffroom goes down considerably -
Hmm?


Page 4
Hades-sensei：　こ・・・これ全校生徒の目に触れるものなんですよね
Everyone in the school is going to notice this, right?

Vice principal：　あ？　ああ　そりゃあ・・・
Ah, yes, that is...

Hades-sensei：　す・・・凄い・・・こんなに大きく掲載してくれるなんて・・・
新聞部にお願いして１部もらえたりしないでしょうか
ちょっと行って来ますね・・・
A...amazing...that they'd publish this on such a grand scale...
If I go and ask, I wonder if they'd give me a copy...
I'll see you in a bit.

Vice principal：　君は生徒に相手にされればなんでもいいのかね？
It doesn't bother you that you're being opposed by the students?

Yodobashi：　なんだこのザマはっ？
What the hell is with this mess?

Yamada：　痛いっ！
Ow!


Page 5
Yamada：　え～っ　それダメですかあ・・・？
Ehh, it's not any good?

Yodobashi：　全っ然ダメだね
もう最悪よく掲載したなこんなの
心底才能ないよ　お前
Absolutely!
This is the worst thing we've ever published.
You have zero talent.

Yamada：　相変わらずひどいなぁ・・・
Mean as always...

Yodobashi：　大体これほとんどが「事実」じゃないか！
いいか・・・ゴシップ記事における「事実」なんて２わり程度でいいんだよ
重要なのは「脚色」と「捏造」！　
その「事実」をどれだけおもしろおかしいスキャンダルへデッチ上げることができるかだ！
This is mostly "true".
Okay? For gossip pieces, only 2% of it can be "truthful".
This is essential for "dramatizations" and "fabrications".
Just how much of the "truth" can you fabricate to an amusing scandal?

Text box：　新聞部　部長　３年
淀橋貞夫
Head of the newspaper club, 3rd year
Yodobashi Sadao

Yamada：　あ
Ah!

Yodobashi：　ん・・・
フン・・・いつものか
モタモタするな！　さっさと配置につけ
Hmm...
Damn, it's always like this.
Well, don't just stand there! Hurry up and get to your place!

Yamada：　は・・・はい
Ye...yes!

Mimasaka：　やい　新聞部
てめーらよくもこんな血も涙もねぇ記事書きやがったな！
Hey, newspaper club.
How dare you put such blood and tears into a newspaper article!


Page 6
Mimasaka：　えっ・・・？
おい　聞いてんのか！
Huh?
Hey, you listening to me!

Yodobashi：　あっ・・・
暴力はやめて下さい　　僕たち何も悪いことしてません
これは表現の自由です　　精神的自由権です　　日本国憲法弟２１条
Plea...
Please don't get violent! We haven't done anything wrong.
It's freedom of expression, emotional civil liberties. The Japanese constitution, paragraph 21.

Mimasaka：　はぁ？
Huh?

Yamada：　「わあ大変だ　我が写真部の部長が暴力による人権侵害を受けんとしている現場を偶然にも撮影してしまったぞ」
「この写真を動かぬ証拠として然るべき所に公表しよう」
"Ah, this isn't good. We happened to photograph the very scene where the club president was having his human rights violated by violent means."
"Let's make an official announcement using this photograph as factual evidence."

Mimasaka：　な・・・
マジで殴んぞ　　テメーら！
Wha...
I'm seriously gonna beat the hell outta you!

Fuji：　つーかもう殴ろうぜ
Well, do it already.

Hades-sensei：　あれ・・・アシタバくん？
Huh...Ashitaba-kun?

Ashitaba：　あ・・・せ　　先生！
ちょ・・・大変なんです！　止めるの手伝って下さい！
Ah, se...sensei!
This is bad! Please help me stop them!


Page 7
Hades-sensei：　そうなの・・・？　あの新聞1部もらえないと思ったんだけど
やっぱりダメなのかな
Oh? I was thinking maybe the club would give me a copy.
So that's not a good idea after all?

Ashitaba：　えっ・・・
お・・・怒ってないんですか・・・？
Huh...
We...weren't you angry?

Yodobashi：　ふぅ・・・
ようやく帰ったか
ゴキブリ並にしつこい連中だったな
Phew...
Finally left, huh.
Insistent little cockroaches, weren't they.

Yamada：　淀橋さんてホント徹底してますよねー・・・（根性の悪さが）
尊敬しちゃいます・・・（いろんな意味で）
Yadobashi-san is really thorough. (His horrible nature is.)
I respect that. (In any sense of the word.)

Yodobashi：　フ・・・フン！　まぁ　　お前も見込みがなくはないぞ
よし・・・今日は特別にこの僕がゴシップの極意を教示してやろう！
We...well! There's hope for you yet.
All right, today I'm going to intruct you on the finer points of gossip!

Yamada：　さっき散々こき下ろしたくせに・・・
またハデス先生をターゲットにするんですか？
But you just criticized gossip...
So, we're making Hades-sensei our target again?

Yodobashi：　そうだ
お前の便所紙以下のゴミ新聞との比較にもなるしな
That's right.
Your piece was nothing worse than trash in the bathroom.

Yamada：　さて・・・まずは・・・
Well, then...first off -


Page 8
Yamada：　痛あっ！
なっ　何するんですか？
あ～タンコブできてる・・・
Oww!
Wha...what was that for?!
I'm going to have a bump...

Yodobashi：　うるさい　　いちいち騒ぐな
いいからお前はそのまま保健室に行って手当てを受けろ
Shut up, don't make so much noise.
Listen up, go into the infirmary just like you are now and get medical treatment.

Yamada：　へ・・・？
Huh...?

Yodobashi：　そしてハデス先生に幹部を触られた瞬間これでもかってくらい大げさに痛がれ！
僕はそれを中庭から隠し撮りする
くくく・・・こいつを脚色すれば虐待事件にまで育てられるぞ・・・
The moment Hades-sensei gets touched by the top brass, he'll be in for a world of hurt!
I'm going to be taking pictures from the courtyard.
Ku ku ku...if we dramatize him, then we can create an abuse scandal.

Yamada：　はあ・・・
ホント最低だなあの人・・・
し・・・失礼しまーす・・・
Ah...
He really is the worst...
Excuse me...

Hades-sensei：　ん・・・
Hmm?


Page 9
Hades-sensei：　やあ・・・君は新聞部の・・・
その節は素敵な新聞をどうもありがとう
Oh, you're from the newspaper club...
That piece was really amazing, thank you so much.

Yamada：　えっ？　あ　あ　ありがとうございます！
は・・・初めてほめられたー・・・！
ああ・・・でもあたしは今からこの人を陥れようとしている
Eh? Th...thank you very much!
That's the first time I've been praised...!
Ah, but, right now I'm got to try and set him up...

Hades-sensei：　それで・・・今日はどうかした？
So, what brings you here today?

Yamada：　は・・・はあ・・・あの・・・
ちょっと頭にタンコブができちゃってできれば手当ての方が・・・
Ah, well...I've got a bump coming up so if you could do something about -

Hades-sensei：　たんこぶだって・・・？
A bump?!

Yamada：　え・・・
Eh...

Yodobashi：　おっ
よし・・・！　いいぞ　　かかった！
さあやれ！　一挙手一投足えげつない改悪を施して極上のスキャンダルに仕立てあげてやる！
Ohh.
Yes...! Good, we're got him.
All right, do it! This little bit of work may lower our standards but it does create the absolute best scandal.


Page 10
Yamada：　痛いっ！
Ow!

Yodobashi：　何故こうなった？
How'd it turn out like that!

Yamada：　だ・・・だって～！
その先生行動が予測不可能なんですもん！
Bu...but...
I didn't know that's how he was going to act!

Yodobashi：　この役立たず！　メガネブス！
そのタンゴブ５倍の大きにしてやろうか！
You're useless! You ugly four-eyes!
I'm going to make that bump five times bigger!

Yamada：　い・・・痛い！
いたたた痛い痛いいた・・・
Ow...!
Oww...ow ow ow!

Yodobashi：　なんだよ・・・いつものアホ面にマヌケを10乗したような顔して・・・
What is it? Your face looks ten times more stupid than it usually does...


Page 11
Yamada：　淀橋さん・・・
おでこ・・・どうしたんですか・・・？
Yodobashi-san...
What's wrong with your forehead?

Yodobashi：　はっ？
Huh?

Disease demon：　よぉ・・・そのカメラ見てみなよ
Yo...look at the camera.

Yodobashi：　いっ？
Ahh?!

Yamada：　きゃっ！
Kyaaaa!

Yodobashi：　なっ　なんだ！　僕の声じゃないぞ！
Wha...what! That's not my voice!

Yamada：　だ・・・ダメですって淀橋さん！
触んない方がいいですよ！
This...this is bad, Yadobashi-san!
You shouldn't touch it!

Disease demon：　オレの名は「パパラッチ」
坊主・・・おめーみてェな他人の不幸が大好きなヤツの見方さ
もっぺん言うぜ・・・
そのカメラ・・・見てみなよ・・・
My name is Paparazzi.
Boy, I like seeing sorrow through the eyes of other people like yourself.
I'll tell you once again...
Look at the camera.

Yamada：　よ・・・
淀橋さん・・・これ・・・
Yo...
Yodobashi-san...this is...


Page 12
Girl：　は～助かったあ～！
Oh, man, you really saved us!

Girl：　シンヤちゃんありがと～！
いきなり出てくるんだもん超怖かった・・・
Thanks, Shinya-chan!
It just came out nowhere, I was so scared...

Kaburagi：　あは・・・ど・・・どうも
ていうかこんなことでしか役に立てなくてすみません・・・
Ah, no problem...
I mean, I'm sorry I'm only helpful for things like this...

Girl：　虫とか平気なの？
Do bugs not bother you?

Kaburagi：　得意ではないですけど・・・やっつけるくらいなら
あ　　でも唯一ダメなのが
It's not one of my strong points...but if I can just beat one down...
Ah, that's not really that good...


Page 13
Kaburagi：　いやーッ！
クモおおおおおおお！
Oh nooooo!
It's a spider!

Girl：　なんだ　　ちっちゃいクモじゃない
What? It's just a tiny little spider.

Girl：　シンヤちゃんかわいー
Shinya-chan is so cute...

Newspaper/text box：　無双女
意外すぎる
弱点
XX一匹にここまで
The unrivaled girl
She's so unexpected
Her weak point
Just how many animals...?

Senoo：　刀哉！　元気になってよかったなー！
Touya! I'm glad you're feeling good!


Page 14
Senoo：　適当にツレ集めて全快パーティしようぜ！
おまえさん家で！
Let's get some people together and have a "feelin' better" party!
At your house!

Touya：　い・・・いいよ　　そんなの！　恥ずかしい
ていうかリュウキは姉ちゃんに会いたいだけだろ
E...enough already. It's embarrassing.
Don't you just want to see my sister?

Newspaper/text box：　元不良校生徒
やめられない・・・
カツアゲ
The student originally from a delinquent school
He can't be stopped
Shakedown!

Fuji：　よっ・・・と
これで全部？
All...right.
Is that all?

Girl：　うん　　ありがとー
やっぱ藤くん背高いから超手際いいー
Yes, thank you.
You're tall so you're really good at this stuff.

Fuji：　なんでもいいけど降りたいから離れてくれねー・・・？
I don't really know abuot that but I want to get down so can you back up...?

Newspaper/text box：　まるで因幡の白兎
睡眠王子の女遊び
華麗なる・・・
Just like Hare of Inaba [T/N: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hare_of_Inaba]
The sleepy prince's womanizing
Has become magnificent...


Page 15
Text box：　翌日
The next day

One of the kids：　なっ・・・
なんじゃこりゃあああああ！
Wha...
What the hell!

Yamada：　すごいすごい！
すごい　　反響ですよ　淀橋さん！
やっぱり淀橋さんはえげつなさが普通じゃないです
もう最高に最低です！
We're really, really
Going to get a lot of flack for this, Yodobashi-san!
This kind of awful stuff isn't what we usually do.
It's absolutely the worst!

Yodobashi：　はっはっは・・・まあね・・・まあ当然の結果だね
ハデス先生を筆頭に我が校の話題の人物一斉スキャンダル・・・盛り上がらないわけがない
それも　　それも・・・
Yes, yes yes..well, that's to be expected.
Hades-sensei was just the first in line in our people of our school scandals...there's no way they'd get all fired up over this.
And...and...


Page 16
Yodobashi：　この「力」の・・・！
おかげと言ったところか・・・
It's all thanks...
To what this "power" said.

Disease demon：　なあに・・・いいってことよ
おれの力はおまえの想像を画素に換えて具現化できる
おれはおまえみてェなヤツが大好きだからな・・・
好きなだけオイシイ思いするがいいさ・・・
What...isn't it great?
My power replaces your imagination with pictures and gives them a concrete form.
I like guys like you.
Think as many delicious thoughts as you want.

Yodobashi：　言われなくてもそうさせてもらうよ
おまえの力はデッチ上げにしか使えないが・・・
僕にはそれで充分だ
僕は・・・「人気者」が大ッッ嫌いだからなあ～！
その醜聞がたとえウソでも・・・人々の心に「疑いの種」をまければそれでいいのさ
その新聞はそれの先駆けだ
Even you didn't tell me to, you helped me to accomplish this.
I can only use it for hoaxes but...
That's more than enough for me.
I reeeally hate "popular people".
Even though this scandal isn't real, it's good that it plants the seeds of doubt in everyone's hearts
This newspaper will be the forerunner.


Page 17
Yodobashi：　これからはこの力をフルに発揮して
他人の足引っ張りまくりながら生きてやるんだ！
愉快痛快！
After this, I will use my power to the fullest
While everyone else is getting held back, we'll push ahead!
So delightful! So thrilling!

Yamada：　淀橋さんシビれるほど最低です
You're so drunk on power, it's awful!

Yodobashi：　ん・・・
フッ・・・来たか・・・
Hmm...
So, they've come.

Yamada：　今回ちょといつもより内容過激でしたからね・・・
みんな凄く怒ってるかも・・・
This time they're going to be more extreme than usual.
Everyone's really mad...

Yodobashi：　関係ないね　　お前もいつもの通りにやれ
ペンは剣よりも強い！
僕に暴力を振るうと言うならそれ以上のデッチあげで心を折ってやるまでだ！
Oh, I don't care about that. Just do what you usually do.
The pen is mightier than the sword!
If they're going to throw all their rage at me, I'll break their spirits with more hoaxes!


Page 18
Yamada：　よ・・・淀橋さんこれはマズくないですか・・・？
不良ですよ不良・・・
Yodobashi-san, isn't this bad?
They're delinquents, delinquents!

Yodobashi：　び・・・びびるな！　いいからカメラを構えて・・・
ひっ！
Do...don't get nervous. Listen, we're gonna use the camera -
Hi!

Senoo： よお・・・オメーいい根性してんじゃねーか・・・
それなりの覚悟はできてんだろーな・・・？
Yo, you've got a lot guts, dontcha?
That should prepare ya...

Fuji：　おい妹尾殺すなよ
Hey, Senoo, don't kill him.

Yodobashi：　ぼ・・・暴力やめびぎゃああああああ！
Sto...stop with the viole-gyaaaaaaa!

Hades-sensei：　あれ・・・アシタバくん　美作くん
Oh, Ashitaba-kun, Mimasaka-kun.

Ashitaba：　あっ！　せ　先生！
止めるの手伝ってください！　妹尾くんが・・・
Ahh! Se...sensei!
Help us stop them! Senoo-kun is going to -

Hades-sensei：　え・・・？　やっぱりこれわけてもらうのは難しいのかな・・・
Ehh...? Well, that makes it all the more harder, then...
[T/N: He's referring to wanting a copy of the paper. If the kids are pissed off about it, then it's going to be hard to get one.]


Page 19
Hades-sensei：　因果応報という言葉もあるけど・・・
こんなことばかりやっていては君の身が持たない
もう人から恨みを買うような真似は控えることだね・・・
This is what they call "karma".
If that's all you do, people won't be able to take it anymore.
Maybe you should refrain from doing things that make people angry.

Yodobashi：　ふぁ・・・ふぁい・・・
Ye...yesh...

Hades-sensei：　本当はまだあの新聞欲しいけど・・
みんなに怒られそうだし　やめておこう・・・
I really do still want a copy but...
It seems like everyone is mad...I shouldn't.

Senoo：　しっかしロクでもねー連中だな！
これにコリたら2度とこんなマネすんじゃねーぞ！
But they're good for nothing!
If they learned from this, then it took two times!

Fuji：　それにしてもおまえは殴りすぎ
Even so, you went a little too far.

Text box：　後日
Later

Ashitaba：　あっ・・・ねえ　　新しい記事ができてるよ！
Ah, hey, they've put up a new article!

Mimasaka：　全っ然こりてねーじゃん・・・
They really didn't get it, did they...

Fuji：　・・・もうほっとこう
Just leave them alone already.

Newspaper：　たこ殴り
多勢武器
ゆるされざる暴力
We were beaten.
Lots of weapons
We gave up because of the violence.
[T/N: たこ殴り is, um, one of those Japanese phrases I'm still kind of, "HUH?!" over. I Googled it and even native Japanese speakers were like, "I heard some kids saying this, what on earth does it mean?" So I chose to go with "we were beaten" but if I'm reading their explanations right, it's not a phrase that would translate into English well. I could be wrong, as I often am, but that's what I'm going with for now.]