Chounouryokusha Saiki Kusuo no Sainan 5

This manga was recently serialized, and I probably would never have even given it a glance if it weren't for a couple of people's comments on a Shonen Jump forum. I'd skimmed the original oneshot(s) way back when, but they hadn't really struck my interest. The serialization, however, turned out to be hilarious.

If you're looking for humor that frequently mocks the norm and breaks the fourth wall or, as one commenter put it, "a manga with a dark, pessimistic, and speechless main character surrounded by idiots", then give this a try.

Oh, and I started with chapter 5 because that's the one that got me to read the series and had me cracking up. I think chapter 6 (which also cracked me up) will be next, but I'll likely also go back and translate the first four chapters as well.

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[p001]

(top) It seems that somewhere in this world, they're selling "The Disaster of PSI Kusuo Saiki volume 0" from Jump Comics, so try looking for it!!
(left) "Be careful of sudden thunderstorms and PSI power." This week's PSI slogan model: Saiki Kusuo-san (16)
(bottom) The Disaster of PSI Kusuo Saiki
(bottom left) Chi 5: Notice! The PSIgns of Love
(bottom right) Wisdom mania | Asou Shuuichi

[p002]

(right) A manga for the sake of those who only stick their noses in when the topic is about someone else's love, romance, etc.
他人の愛だの恋だのって話題の時だけ首つっこんでくる奴のためのマンガ

???: EHH?! You got an OK from Minako?!

Boy: I...idiot! Not so loud...
Boy: So then you guys are already going out, aren't you?!
Boy: Enjoying RL, huh, you bastard!
リア充がこのやろ!

Girl: My boyfriend is sooo jealous.
(around girls) Kyaa kyaa
Girl: Ah, mine too! But that part of him is cute too~
Girl: I know, right? ♡

Boy: So today, after school... ♡
(above girl) Ufufu
Girl: Yup, got it. ♡
Box: Sheesh...

Box: Lately, everything is all about love, huh.
Students: Kyaa ♡ Kyaa ♡
Students: Ufufu ♡
Box: I'm not talking about "Jump",
Box: but rather, about "school".

Boy: I want a girlfriend too~ and summer's coming up soon...
Girl: Hiromi wants to get a boyfriend toooo~ it'll be summer after this~
Student: I want a lover~~ I mean, it's gonna be summer, after all~
Box: Geez... I don't know if it's because of summer or what, but
Box: just what's so enjoyable about liking someone and going out with someone and all that...
Box: I'll say it again, but I'm not talking about Jump.

(bottom, star) You can only read Asou-sensei's manga in Jump!! Thanks for the support!

[p003]

Box: Even Nendou over there is fully engaged in this love talk.
あの撚堂ですら恋愛トークに花を咲かせている
Nendou: Once a guy's made his choice, he just can't get distracted by another girl.
Nendou: For me, Onodera and Makura were the only options from the start, y'know?
Shun: Moron.
Box: Well, that bit was about Jump.

Boy: Hey, Teruhashi-san, are you gonna get a boyfriend?
Girl: Ehh?
Box: I don't understand such sentiments at all.

Box: For example, though Teruhashi-san over there is the most popular with the boys...
Teru: I think it's a little too early for that sort of thing~ fufufu ♡
Boy: Aww...
Box: I have absolutely no interest in her.

Box: It's because I "know" all about her.
Student: You should study at school, right?
Box: Looking at her from my perspective as a PSI user,

Box: I can hear her voice like this.
Teru: That's how you become an adult. ♡
(Teru): You're kidding, right? Like I'd really associate with you brats.

Box: I can see her body like this.

[p004]

Teru: Not having a minimum annual income of 40 million yen must be tough~
年収は最低でも4000万はないと厳しいわ~
Box: Just how would I develop feelings for something like that?

Box: By the way, this "x-ray" power doesn't work against other telepathy users.
Box, above diagram: If you continue to look at a target, your gaze will automatically permeate them.
Box, bottom right: Stopping your gaze through blinking will reset it.
(bottom) For the details, read "The Disaster of PSI Kusuo Saiki volume 0"! Seriously, the same thing is written in it!
Box, left: Therefore, you don't have "if you don't like it, then don't look!"-type situations.

Box: If I were to go to see a Miss-something contest, it'd be like this.
(sign) Miss Mirin Girl Auditions
(Mirin is a type of sweet sake used in cooking)
Box: "Ahh, number 2 has pretty healthy-looking innards" would be the only sort of thoughts I'd have about it.

Box: Well, that's the reason I won't fall in love with anyone during my lifetime.
Box: As a result...

Box: Right now, I am extremely troubled.

Box: That's right...
(Girl): Siiigh...

(Girl): What a wonderful profile...

[p005]

(Girl): You're just as cool today as always... Saiki-kun... ♡
Box: By you, Yumehara Chiyo.

(Chiyo): Saiki-kun...

(Chiyo): Even though I haven't spoken to you even once yet...
(Chiyo): I always end up thinking about you like this...

(Chiyo): And if you should notice me watching you...

(Chiyo): Saiki-kun...

(Chiyo): Toward you, I...

Chiyo: EHH?!!

(Chiyo): What?! Just now?! ...ehh??
(Chiyo): I... just imagined it, right...?
Box: Nope, that won't work...

[p006]

(right) Summary of last chapter: A turbulent ramen wind.

Box: Even assuming that this way of going about it would result in her disliking me, I would once again attract attention as an "oddball."
Box: I keep saying this, but I don't want to stand out.

Box: I have nothing against her, but I can't return her feelings and above all, I want to avoid being confessed to.
(Chiyo): I wonder what Saiki-kun is always thinking about...
(Chiyo): My head is filled with thoughts of him...
Box: My head is also filled with thoughts about you.

Box: For my own good, I'll just have to make her give up on me.
Box: In order to accomplish that...

(Chiyo): I want to know more about Saiki-kun...!
(Chiyo): In order to accomplish that...

Box: I will keep away from her!!
(Chiyo): I'll get close to him!!

(Chiyo): Ahh.♡
(Chiyo): There he is!!

[p007]

(Chiyo): Saiki-kun is alone! This is my chance!
(Chiyo): Alright... I'll review my strategy!!

(Chiyo): First, Saiki-kun and I collide at the corner.
Saiki: Whoops.
Chiyo: Kyaa!
(left of Chiyo) Yeah, yeah.
(Chiyo): Then, the printouts I'm carrying will fall all over the floor...

(left, top box) Characters
(below Saiki)
Saiki Kusuo
A PSI user.
Taciturn.
(below Chiyo)
Yumehara Chiyo
A girl.

Saiki: Are you alright? I'll help you pick those up.
Box: Saiki
(Chiyo): the two of us will pick them up...
Chiyo: Ah... yeah, thanks...

(Chiyo): and then our hands happen to touch.
???: Ah!

Saiki: S...sorry!
Chiyo: Ah- no, it's fine!!

(Saiki): You... really have... such small hands...
(Chiyo): Perfect. ♡
(right of Chiyo) Kyufufu

(Chiyo): Okay... here we go!!

(Chiyo): Have courage!

(Chiyo): Eii!!

[p007]

Chiyo: Ehh?
Chiyo: H...huh...?

(Chiyo): Huh?!
(Chiyo): When did he get over there?!

(Chiyo): Hrm... I don't know why I failed earlier, but
(Chiyo): I definitely can't fail the next time, so

(Chiyo): My next strategy is...

[p008]

(Chiyo): This handkerchief!!
(Chiyo): First, I drop this handkerchief near Saiki-kun's feet...
(sfx) Plop

(Chiyo): And then, Saiki-kun notices it...
Box: Saiki
Saiki: You dropped your handkerchief.

(sfx) Inhale

(Saiki): Yep!
(Saiki): It's the fragrance of a princess!
(Chiyo): Ufufu... if it's like this, then... ♡

Chiyo: If by any chance he doesn't notice the handkerchief, then it'll be fine if I make a show of searching for it and talk to him. ♡
Chiyo: Umm... did I drop a handkerchief around here?
Saiki: No wonder a princessly fragrance has been wafting up from my feet.

(Chiyo): Okay! Do your best, self!!
Chiyo: Pyuu~ pyurururu~
Box: Acting suspiciously

(Chiyo): Alright! Mission successful!!
(Chiyo): After this, if Saiki-kun notices it...!

[p009]

(Chiyo): Hrm...
(Chiyo): He's not calling out to me, huh.

(Chiyo): Well, whatever! I still have Plan B!
Chiyo: H...huh~?
Chiyo: That's strange, my handkerchief is...

Chiyo: go-
(Chiyo): Right here?!!
(Chiyo): Huh?! EHH?! HOW?!

(Chiyo): Uwaaah!! I failed again!
Box: Fufu...

Box: Don't think it will be so easy to get a flag with me as your opponent.
Box: And after that...

[p010]

(the top 6 panels are top-to-bottom, fyi)

Box: Chiyo and Saiki's battle (?) continued.
Chiyo: Aah, somebody stop that ba...

Chiyo: Uwah! It spun back.

Chiyo: My hands are full and I can't get the door open~ I'm in a real bind~

Student: Ooh, the door opened.
Student 2: Huh, what?
Student 2: It's pretty shabby, huh~

Chiyo: Umm... I baked cookies for cooking practice, but...
Chiyo: I ended up making too many, so if you'd like, Sai...

Boy: Ah, thanks...!
(Chiyo): Who are you?!
Box: However, as Saiki could read all of Chiyo's actions beforehand,

Box: all of her plans ended in failure.
(Chiyo): Why am I unable to even talk to him?!
(Chiyo): What's going on?! Is it some unseen power at work?!

(Chiyo): Maybe our fates aren't intertwined...
Chiyo: Hm?

Chiyo: Ahh! That's right! It was going to rain this evening!
Chiyo: What should I do...
Chiyo: I don't have an umbrella with me...

(Chiyo): An umbrella...!!

[p011]

(sfx) School bell ringing
Students: Seeya later~!

Students: Woah~ it's really pouring~
Students: The rainy season hasn't even started yet...
Students: See you tomorrow~
(Chiyo): Ufufu... I still have one more plan...

Student: Huh? Chiyo, don't you have an umbrella? How about sharing mine?
Chiyo: No thank you!!
(Chiyo): That's right, it's fine like this.

(right label) Murakami
(left label) Saiki
(Chiyo): I'm aiming for that, after all...!

(Chiyo): Saiki-kun will definitely have an umbrella with him! He's that type of person.
(Chiyo): I'll just wait here!

(Chiyo): And Saiki-kun will come from over there...
Saiki: Ahh... it's really coming down, huh~...

Saiki: Ah...

[p012]

Saiki: Ah...
Saiki: Erm...

Chiyo: Y...
Chiyo: Yes...!
(Chiyo): You are...

Saiki: If you'd like, how about we share it?
(Chiyo): A person with a smiling face like the sun...

Saiki: Shall we go?
(Chiyo): Under the rays of that sun, my body which had grown cold from the rain...

(Chiyo): Was gradually filled with warmth emanating from the depths of my chest...
(Chiyo): It's a perfect plan!!

(Chiyo): I wonder when he'll come~ ♡

Box: The sun.

[p013]

Chiyo: Eh? ...EHH?!

Chiyo: Wait a... EHH?! It stopped?!!
Chiyo: There was such a downpour, so how?!

(Chiyo): Ah. Saiki-kun...

[p013]

(Chiyo): Let's give up...
(Chiyo): I'm sure that my fate and Saiki-kun's aren't connected...

(Chiyo): Farewell... Saiki-kun...
Box: Farewell, Yumehara-san.
Box: Forget about me somehow and find a new guy.

Box: If it's you, I'm sure you will find a good partner soon eno...
???: Do you need an umbrella?

Chiyo: It's already stopped raining...
Boy: ...It's still coming down, though?

Boy: The rain of tears in your heart, that is.

Boy: If you're alright with me, I'll listen to your story.
Boy: I'll become the umbrella for your heart.

Chiyo: Yes. ♡
(Chiyo): This person is my fated one...♡
Box: Oi, that was way too fast.

(left side) The sun of the heart has begun to shine between these two people...!!
二人の間を照らし始めた心の太陽...!!