Chounouryokusha Saiki Kusuo no Sainan 1

I finally finished translating chapter 1! The second chapter isn't as long as this one, but I will be SO happy once I'm back to the regular 13-page chapters...

-------------------

[p001]

Box: PSI power.
???: Uwaah!! How cute!

(below panel) New serialization #2! [The Disaster of Kusuo Saiki]

Man: Can I pet him?
Man: Ooh, good boy!
???: Thank you.
Box: For instance...

Man: I really love dogs~
(Man): But I love girls muuuch more... kuhihi...
Box: Hearing other people's thoughts,

(below panel) Why don't you commit it to memory? [The Disaster of Kusuo Saiki]

Box: Or...
Woman: Ahh!!
Woman: Wait, Pochimi!!

Box: Seeing what's on the other side of a wall,

(below panel) The comic is also on sale. [The Disaster of Kusuo Saiki]

(left) This cute little puppy is in imminent danger!! ...And yet!!

People: Look out!!

Box: Or...

[p002/003]

Box: Manipulating objects through the power of will alone.
People: HAAH?!

Man: ...That car
Man: flew just now... didn't it...
(sfx) Vrooooom...
Woman: ...yeah...
Woman: It definitely flew...

Man: Ah...
Man: Ahaha...
Box: It is a power which enables one to do what normal people can't.

(bottom right) I've been able to return. | Asou Shuuichi
(right of tankobon cover) Even though it's newly serialized, it has a comic volume out?!
(below tankobon cover)
Short story collection
[The Disaster of PSI Kusuo Saiki, volume 0] is now on sale!!

Man: Well then, how about we get something to eat?
(top, star) New leaves sprout! Summer draws near! The growing expectation of a new "something" begins! New serialization #2!!
(top) The Disaster of Kusuo Saiki
Box: My name is Saiki Kusuo.
Woman: Huh?
Woman: What sort of logic is that? Get lost.
(right of Saiki) How did it end up like this!
Box: I am a PSI user.
(bottom) Chi 1: The Disaster of a PSI User
(the "chi" here is actually the Greek letter x, pronounced "kai")
(bottom, yellow) New serialization!!
(bottom, purple) With opening color and 26 pages!!

[p004]

Box: 16 years ago,
Box: A boy was born to a certain ordinary couple.

Box: However, it would be hard to say that the boy was ordinary.
Father: He's so cute~ second only to mama. ♡
Mother: He's so cute~ second only to papa. ♡
???: Oh you~ ♡

Mother: Huh? Did he say something just now...?
Father: EHHH?!
Father: Don't be hasty, mama. It's only been 2 weeks since he was born...
Box: A mere 14 days after his birth, he uttered his first words.

(Saiki): I...I'm...2nd pl...ace...?
Box: Without even speaking aloud.
Mother: See, he spoke!! Right into our minds!!
Father: H...he really did!!
Father: What the-- how strange!!

Box: Moreover,
Mother: There you go~
Mother: You're doing so well!!

Box: 1 month after his birth, he was able to walk.
Mother: Amazing!! He's already walking!!

[p005]

Mother: Uwaah, that's incredible~!
Father: It really is~ neither of us can do something like that~
Box: Even in the air.

Box: When he was 1 year old,
Mother: Huh? The bottle of mirin sake is broken.
(Mirin is sake used in cooking)

(sfx) Fwoosh
Mother: Ku-chan?

Box: He made conscious use of his powers for the first time.
はじめてのおつかいをこなす
Mother: Ku-chan?!

Mother: Ku-chan...
Box: As you would expect, this unsettled his mother.

Box: It was only natural that such a child would make her uneasy.
Box: The reaction of normal parents would be to take him to hospitals and research institutes.

Mother: Dear... this really is strange...
Father: Yeah... for now, why don't we try bringing him...
うん...一度連れてってみるか...
Box: However, this couple...

[p006]

Mother: I'm sure he shoplifted this mirin sake...
Father: Yeah... let's take him with us to the supermarket tomorrow...
Box: were considerably lax.

Box: This nincomcouple, whose characters were optimistic by nature,
Mother: Ku-chan is a PSI user, isn't he~♡
(left of mother) Ahaha
Father: He must take after you, dear. You're a magician, after all...
Father: Since you put me under your spell of love...
Box: were both the type to not think that deeply about things.

Box: Due to that, they adapted to the situation without any questions.
Father: Ooh! A portrait of me!! You're very good~
Box: 2 years old
(on portrait) To dabdy
(he wrote one of the characters backward, hence the "b" there)
Box: Spirit photography
Mother: What an amazing artistic sense!
Mother: It really looks like papa~ ♡

Father: Fufu. My sense of aesthetics is the best in the world, after all.
Father: That's why I have you, the most beautiful in the world, as my wife...♡
Mother: Oh you~ geez~ ♡
Box: Years passed...

(beneath panel) Photo courtesy of Hatori Yuujirou

Box: And now it's the present day.

[p007]

Box: And that boy... in other words, me,
Box: is now a high school student.

Box: As you can see,
Box: my PSI power is still going strong.

Box: I can bend spoons without touching them,

Box: and even read cards that are face-down.

(Girl): I love you...
Box: I can also see what that girl is thinking,

Box: and even slot machines are nothing more than mechanisms for spewing money.

Box: Surely this life is like a dream!!
Box: The world's happiest man, who was blessed with everything from the moment of his birth!!
Box: That is me, Saiki Kusuo...

[p008]

Box: ...if that's what you thought, then you're gravely mistaken!!
Box: My life is completely screwed up thanks to this power.

Box: Being able to bend spoons?
Box: That just makes eating curry difficult.

Box: Being able to read face-down cards?
Box: Playing concentration is just a chore.
神経衰弱がただの作業だ

Box: Knowing what a girl is thinking?
(Girl): Uh oh, I wanna poop...
Box: I honestly couldn't care less.

Box: A money-spewing mechanism?
sfx bubble: Achoo!!
Box: For blowing my nose, tissues are just fine.

Box: The world's happiest man, who was blessed with everything from the moment of his birth?
Box: What a joke.
Box: I am the world's unhappiest man, who has had everything snatched away since the moment of my birth.

[p009]

Box: It's true that I have received powers that ordinary people do not have.
Box: Telepathy,
Box: Psychokinesis,
Box: X-ray vision,
Box: Precognition,
Box: Teleportation,
Box: Clairvoyance,
Box: etc.
Box: There are too many to count.
Box: All of them enable me to do just about anything.
全部だ 大抵の事なんだって出来る

Box: In manga and the like, there's often a generic sort of [1 person, 1 power] situation.
漫画とかによくある【1人1能力】みたいな個性もない
Man: My ability [Blizzard Zero] freezes even the air...!
Man: How about cooling your head a bit?
(center, star) His ability has been revealed at last...! Next time, the conclusion!!

Box: In that sort of manga, for example, I'd give off this sort of feeling.
Man: Th...this technique is my [Blizzard Zero]...?!
Woman: Kuh... even my [Waters]...!
Villain: Fuhaha!! I can use every single ability!! Fuhaha!!
(bottom, star) A hopeless situation...!
Box: A boss character whose appearance instantly ruins everything.

Box: 3 days.
Box: If I were to put my mind to it...

Box: I could annihilate humanity in only 3 days.

[p010]

Box: The towns would be destroyed like those in Sim City.
Box: Anyway, I'll grant that I have been given something.

Box: Still, there are times when [giving] and [taking away] happen simultaneously.

Box: For a pet dog who has been provided food...
Box: it's as if the ability to obtain food on his own has been taken away.

Box: For a spoiled child who has been given everything...
Boy: Oi, papa, where's dinner?!
Father: Coming, Taku-chan. ♡
Box: it's as if his ability to be independent has been taken away.

Box: I have had many things snatched away from me!!

Box: The sense of achievement when you accomplish something difficult through hard work, and

(phone)
From: Yoshiko-senpai
Subject: Thanks! (^o^)/
Body:
xx-kun is really kind. Aaah, if a guy like xx-kun were my boyfriend, I'd definitely be happy or something (^.^)
(Box): The feeling of excitement when you receive a meaningful e-mail from the girl you like, and

Box: Being surprised by a surprise party
Box: are all things of which I am incapable.

[p011]

Box: While there is neither anger nor sorrow,
Box: there is also no happiness or joy.
Box: That has been my life up to this point.

Box: Still, I don't really have any complaints now that it's this late in the game.
Box: I don't think I'd want to become a normal person, either.

Box: Living a quiet, peaceful life isn't so bad.
平穏な人生もそれほど悪くない
(???): Kusuo...

Box: This [voice] is...
(???): He's pretty late...
(???): He should probably be home soon, though.
Box: Telepathy.
Box: An ability that enables one to hear other people's thoughts.

???: Oh?
Box: Just as I thought.

[p012]

Father: Welcome home, Kusuo-kun!
Father: You sure took a while, didn't you!
Box: Dad,
Box: What are you doing? Sitting in front of the house.

Father: Dad's been waiting here for 2 hours, you know!
(small text) Hahaha
(Father): Actually, it's only been about 15 minutes.
Box: You realize I can tell that you're lying to me, right?

Box: That aside, what are you doing?
Father: Ahh, I'll cut straight to the chase, Kusuo...

Father: Could you unlock the door for me?

Father: I mean... I just can't get in~
Box: Sheesh. ...again?

[p013]

sfx bubble: Kachink
Father: Oooh!!

Father: As expected of a PSI user! That's really a clever trick~
Box: Don't call it a [trick].
(Father): Hmmm... but y'know...

Father: It's amazing~ Yep...
(Father): Kusuo-kun could easily open up a vault...
(small text) Kufufu...
(Father): The actual problem would be finding a place where we'd be free to steal as much as we'd like...
実際問題どこでも泥棒し放題だよな...コレ...
Box: Just what are you thinking in front of your child.

Father: Kusuo...
Father: That power... don't you think there's an even better use for it...?
Box: I already heard that in your thoughts.
心の中までにしとけよ

Mother: Ku-chan, are you home?
Father: Ah!!

Father: We'll talk later, Kusuo!
Box: Here we go again...

[p014]

Box: By the way, there is one aspect of my life which is not peaceful...

Box: That would be...

Father: Stop screwing around already!!

Father: You locked me out again, dammit!!
Mother: Ku-chan, welcome home~
Box: the relationship between my parents.

Mother: Tonight's dinner will be tonkatsu, Ku-chan.
Father: Don't ignore me! Moreover, today is steak day, isn't it!!
Mother: Ara? Is that so? I'm sorry.
Mother: I wonder if you'd be fine with leather boots?
Father: Leather boots are footwear, though!?
Box: Where did those 2 from back then go...

Box: Even though they were so madly in love in the past...
Father: It's as if my love for you is as large as Tokyo Tower...
Mother: I love you the most in the world.
???: Oh you. ♡

Box: Now it's a completely different sort of madness.
Father: It's as if my hatred toward you is as large as Tokyo Skytree...
Mother: I hate you the most in the world.
???: YOU!!

???: Time to eat~

[p015]

Mother: Be sure to eat a lot, okay~
Father: Oi...

Father: Oi!
Father: UOOI!!
Father: UOOOIII!!
Father: Do you really think there's anyone who would?!
本当に出す奴がいるか?!
Mother: Is it good, Ku-chan?

Mother: There are seconds for you, too.
Father: I don't want them!!
Father: And you've got the other one right there!!
っていうかもう方っぽだろそれ!!

Mother: Here, seconds.
Father: Why the heck is it a different shoe!!
Father: You're extravagantly overusing the ingredients, aren't you!!
食材を贅沢に使い過ぎだろ

Box: What was the cause of this fight...
Father: And on top of that, a sneaker isn't even a cow anymore!

Box: One thing after another for half a year led to the current situation.
(right door, top sign) Papa's room
(right door, right sign) No entry without permission!! No mama allowed!!
(right door, left sign) Absolutely no forgiveness for those who enter without permission!!
(left door) Gangsters, unauthorized persons, as well as those with tattoos (including stick-ons), and those who are dead drunk are strongly urged to enter papa's room.
Box: With this continuous daily strife, they live separate lives under the same roof.
毎日争いが絶えず家庭内別居中だ

Box: Honestly... what are they doing, at such an age...
Father: Kusuo-kuuun...

[p016]

Father: Turn this into a steak for me with your power, won't you?
Box: This pitiable man is my father, Saiki Kuniharu.

Father: It would be easy for you, wouldn't it~ pretty please~
Box: Enough with the sleaziness. You immediately come crying to me.
Father: Make it medium rare from a domestic cow, please~
Box: Furthermore, you're absolutely shameless.

Box: Ultimately, I try not to listen to dad's requests.
Father: ...Kusuemon...
(I think he's combining Kusuo's name with -emon, which is occasionally used in boys' names. It comes from "emonfu", the word for the gate guards of the imperial palace.)
Box: It won't do any good to spoil him further. He's fully capable of acting like an adult, after all.

Father: What the heck!! Even you're on mama's side?!
Father: I'm the breadwinner of this household, you know?!

Father: Even the food you're eating comes from money I earned by licking my boss' shoes, you know?!
Father (gray, top): Ehehe~ I can't meet this month's quota either...
Father: Despite all that!! What's with this treatment?!
Father (gray, bottom): Expensive shoes sure have a different taste to them~
Box: What the heck, that's your favorite food, isn't it?

Father: I don't care anymore!! I'll eat it...
Father: Uegh!! It stinks!!
Father: What's with this smell?! What'd you do to this?!
Box: That's the natural taste of raw materials.

Box: Honestly...
Mother: Ku-chan, you don't have to do that.

[p017]

Box: That isn't the sort of thing to use your power on.
Box: This seemingly kind woman is my mother, Saiki Kurumi.

Mother: You'll use your power for the sake of...

Mother: reaaally troubled people, and very kind people, right?
Box: Her personality is, as you can see, quiet and kind.

Mother: And also, to kill papa by dropping an iron hammer on him...
(left of mother) Fufufu...
Box: However, it seems she isn't limited to that today.

Box: Still, usually she is very gentle.
Mother: Come!
Mother: Eat up, eat up! The food will get cold~
Box: She has played an important part in my not becoming power-crazy and falling to the dark side.

Mother: I made today's meal a delicious one, ufufu ☆
Mother: See! It's so well-roasted...

Father: Hmph.
Father: I give it... 62 points.
Box: It's just that once in a while...

Box: Only on rare occasions...

[p018]

Mother: Bastard, what are you doing eating other people's things, huuuuh!!!
Mother: You putrid foooool!!
Box: She becomes unnaturally enraged.
尋常じゃない程ブチ切れる

Box: This is already unnatural, though.
Mother: So you've decided on your last meal, huh, bastaaard!!
Mother: Spit it out, why don't yaaa!!
Father: A...ahh...?! N...not really...
Box: It doesn't involve me, but even I feel somewhat fearful.

Mother: Enough already, get out dammit!!
Father: N...no way! I don't wanna follow your orders...!!
Box: Stopping this fight would be a simple matter for me.

Box: But I have no intention of stopping it.

Box: This is a problem between the two of them.
Box: I mustn't recklessly use my [powers] on others' problems.

Box: I don't like having my peace disrupted, but...
???: You can't!! Violence isn't the answer!!
???: Shut up!!
Box: If I were to involve myself in people's problems every time, I'd be so busy that...
Box: ---!! This is...
(label) Genuine coffee jello

[p019]

Box: Coffee jello, huh...
Mother: Then I'll kill you right here!!
Father: Ouch!! Hold it... what's with this?!
Father: Ow!! Oww!!
Box: Hrm. I don't dislike such things.

Box: The deeply fragrant smell and essence of coffee beans.
Mother: URYAAA!!
Father: What the?! OWOWOWOW!!
Box: A flavor which makes you feel the sense of refinement enclosed within...
それをそのまま閉じ込めた気品を感じさせる味...

Box: Furthermore, where it encounters the milk, it allows yet another facet of flavor to reveal itself.
さらにミルクとの出会いでまた違った顔を覗かせる
Mother: SHORYAAAA!!
Father: Stoooop!!
Father: It'll break! It'll break!!
Box: Sinful enough to be a luxuriously rare gem...

Box: I don't dislike it at all.
Father: UOOOOOOOOOHHH

Father: Don't eat, help meeeee!!

[p020]

Father: Amazing!! You managed to eat it like that?!
Father: No, wait, you idiot!!
Father: This isn't the time for that at all!!

Father: Look at your motherrrr!!
Mother: Don't go moving around restlessly like that...
Father: She's turning into something really outlandish, isn't she!!

Father: Moreover, with a face like that, she's taking joint locking to an extreme!!
しかもあんな顔して関節極めてくんだぞ
Father: What a frightening technique!!
Father: Stop her, Kusuooo!!
Father: That thing is no longer the mother you know!!

Father: Do it, Kusuo!!
Father: Liberate your mother!!
Mother: You won't get away...

Mother: I'll crush youuuuuu!!!
Father: EEEEEEEEEK!!

(Mother): Ahh!!
(Mother): Oh no, what am I doing...!!

Father: UWAAAAAAAAH!!

Father: AA...ahh?
Box: Sheesh.

[p022]

Father: Ehh?! Uooh...
Father: UOOOOH?!!
Box: What irritating parents.

Father: O...ooh... this is...
Father: I... I see...!!

Father: So its finally awoken, has it...
Father: my PSI power...!!
Father: That's right... there's no way I wouldn't be able to use it when my son can...
Father: Kukuku... the power is coursing through me...!!
Box: Not at all.

Mother: Ku... Ku-chan, don't interfere!!
Box: Earlier, you were the one who interfered, weren't you.

Box: At this rate, I won't be able to calmly eat coffee jello, either.
Mother: Ku-chan, even you're on papa's side?!
Box: What a meaningless quarrel... stopping it is a pain as well, but...

Mother: I'm sick of this! I hate you!!
Box: Why, you ask? If you...

[p022]

Mother: I absolutely can't stand either of you!!
(Mother): It's a lie... I actually love you both very much...!
Box: could hear their inner thoughts, you would understand.

Box: Their inner thoughts, or rather, their true intentions.
Box: In other words, this anger and hatred is all a lie.
Mother: Drop dead!!
(Mother): Ahh... I said something horrible again...

Father: What was that... you just had to go and say it...
Box: And as for my father's feelings...

Father: I can't stand you either!! Aughh, I hate you!!
(Father): Juuust kidding. That was a lie, pyon~☆ I actually love you! Tehe!
Box: it's the same situation.

Mother: Wh... I hate you more!!
(Mother): But even so, I love you very much!!
Father: No, my hatred is stronger! Augh, I hate you!!
(Father): Ahh... your angry face is lovely, too...
Box: From my vantage point, their quarrel looks like this.
Mother: Someone like you is the same as dirt!!
(Father): D...dirt... but I...
Box: It is truly meaningless.

Box: However...
Box: The sin of interfering with my dessert time is a heavy one...
???: Wah! Wah! Wah!
???: Gyaa! Gyaa!
Box: I shall show you... the power of a PSI user...!!

(???): I love you...
???: Ehh?

[p023]

Father: Did... you just say you [love] me...?
(Father): I'm sure she said [I love you] just now... could it be that she also still...
Mother: H... HAAAH?!

Mother: It was you who said it, wasn't it?!
Mother: What the heck, all of a sudden...!!
(Mother): Ehh?! No way... I wonder if I accidentally let slip what I was thinking. What does that "she also" thing mean...?
Father: Wh... whaat?!

Father: It was you!!
Father: Just now you said yourself that you let it slip!!
(Saiki?): What? You're just not on the same wavelength.
(Father): Hah!! Could it be that this is an auditory hallucination produced because I love her too much...?!
Mother: You just said the same thing yourself, didn't you!!
(Mother): EHH?! What do you mean by "love her too much"?!
Father: HAAH?! What are you sa...

Father: ...um?
(Father): Can you hear me...? Right now...?
Mother: Er... yeah...
(Mother): You're talking and all...
Father: I'm not talking, though?

(Mother/Father): EHHHH?!

Mother/Father: Ku-chan!! Kusuooo!!
Box: Forced telepathy.

Box: I sent those thoughts just now with telepathy.
(top diagram, right) Mom's inner thoughts
(top diagram, left) Dad's inner thoughts
(bottom diagram)
Mom's thoughts | Relaying | Mom's thoughts
Dad's thoughts | Dad's thoughts
Box: As you can see,
Box: like this, my mother's thoughts are sent to my father, and my father's are sent to my mother.

[p024]

Box: In other words, the current situation is one where their innermost thoughts are being transmitted to each other.
Mother: Ku-chan!! Stop this!!
(Mother): This is bad!! How much I love papa will be revealed!!
Mother: I'm begging you, Ku-chan!!
Father: Kusuo, make it stop!! I'll buy you some ice cream, so stop it!!
(Father): UOOOH!! Mama will find out that I'm madly in love with her even now!!

Mother: Nooooo!! It's not true!!
(Mother): Hate hate love hate hate love loooooove!!
Mother: I'm telling you, this isn't how I really feel at all!!
(Mother): Stop it!! I'm so embarrassed I could die!!

Father: I...I don't feel like this at all, either!! This means nothing!! Nothing at all!!
(Father): Mama, I... nooo!! I love you!! My heart can't lie!!
(Father): Kuh... a poem I'm composing for her came to mind at a time like this...
(Father): Mama... your smiling face is just like the sun...
Father: AHHH!!
Father: AHHHH!!

Mother: AHH!! Owowow!!
(Mother): Ehh? ...I'm the sun...?
(Mother): Then... would you be the moon...?
Mother: It hurts so much that I can't think!!

Father: Nooow then!! How about some sit-ups!!
(Father): Haha, you've got it wrong. I'm a flower that has grown quickly under your light.
(Father): The flower's name is [Anemone]. Do you know what it means? In the language of flowers...
Father: Alright, 5!!
Father: SIIIIIIX!!

Father: Haah... haah...
(Father): Mama...
(Mother): Papa...

[p025]

(Father): [I am madly in love with you...]
(Mother): [And I you...]
Box: And that's a wrap.

Father: Uooooh!! I'm sorry, mamaaaa!!
Mother: Same here, forgive meee!!
Box: Honestly...
Box: What troublesome parents.

Box: If either of you made a mistake, you'd have resolved things immediately, wouldn't you...
Mother: Wuaah ahh wuaaah!!
Father: Ooooi oi oi ooooi!!
Box: Why would it turn into a quarrel in the first place?

Box: Sheesh... ordinary people are so bothersome...
Parents: Wuaaah!
Parents: Sob sob!!
Parents: Uu.... WAAAAAAAAAAH!!
Parents: UUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHH!
Box: So noisy.

Box: ...Now then.

Box: With this, I can enjoy a quiet dessert time to its fullest.
Mother: I'm really so sorry.
Father: You don't need to apologize.

[p026]

Mother: No, let me say it properly!
Mother: Originally, this all happened because I ate your coffee jello...
Father: Heh... it's fine.

Father: It's more that I carelessly flew into a rage and smashed all the windowpanes in the house, so we're both to blame.
Mother: Ah!
Mother: That's right! Wait a second!

Mother: Here, look! I happened to buy some today!!
Mother: Please eat this as a reconciliation!!
Father: Oooh!!

Mother: How is it? Good?
Father: Mhmm. It's sinful enough to be a luxuriously rare gem... delicious!!

(left panel sfx) Sound of windows breaking in rapid succession
Father: Kusuo?!

(bottom right) Next time, the 2nd chapter of this new serialization has center color and an increase to 19 pages!!

-----------

Notes:

[page 6]
Nincomcouple - The original Japanese, バカップル (bakappuru), is a portmanteau combining "baka" (idiot) and "couple". I really wanted to do something similar with the English translation, hence why I used nincompoop instead of idiot/moron/etc.

[page 9]
Blizzard Zero and Waters - Despite these being the readings given for the abilities, the accompanying kanji are 絶対零度 (zettaireido, meaning "absolute zero") and 明鏡止水 (meikyou shisui, meaning "as serene as still water").