Gintama 34

01)
K: U...aah...ahh..that woman in the red kimono...
K: ...u...uu...she's going to be coming here...
K: Uguh!
S: Kondo-saaan! Take it easy!!
H: This is nonsense, he must just be talking in his sleep.
G: It must be..."that."
G: Maybe he hallucinated and saw a vision of a girl he cried over a long time ago.
H: He could've made a girl cry, but there's no way Kondo-san would cry over one!
S: Then, maybe it's "that!"
S: A girl who you made cry has come to express her undying hatred toward you.
K: Hugugu
S: I don't remember ever getting involved with that bad of a woman!

02)
S: Then what is it?
K: Like I know!!
K: All that's for sure is that there's something weird hiding in this mansion.

Chapter 34: Guys with big complexes also have big jobs to do.

S: As I thought, it's a ghost, isn't it?
G: Aaaah?
G: There's no way I'd ever believe in ghosts or anything unscientific like that.
G: But I do believe in Mu Island. (*Mu is the name of a lost land, or hypothetical vanished continent, that was once located in the Pacific Ocean but is now (like Atlantis and Lemuria, with which it is sometimes identified) believed to have sunk beneath the waters.)
G: Hanging out with these idiots is gonna get us nowhere. C'mon, guys,let's go home.
S: Gin-san...

03)
S: What are you doing?
G: What do you mean? You bastards are scared, so I'm taking that into consideration! What do you THINK I'm doing?!
K: Gin-chan, your hands are all sweaty, are you sure you're alright?
S: Ahh, the woman in the red kimono!!
S: ...What are you doing, Gin-san?
G: Er...um...the entrance to Mu Island is...

04)
S: Could you also possibly be...
G: BE WHAT?!
S: Hijikata-san, this guy is...huh?
S: Hijikata-san, what are you doing?
H: Er...um...the entrance to the Mayonaise Kingdom is...
G: Wait, wait, wait! You may be right about this guy, but not me!!
G: The real scaredy-cats are YOU guys, am I right?! I just wanted to fulfill your wishes of accompaniment!!

05)
K: We get it, we get it, so just go to Mu Island or Mayonaise Kingdom or wherever the heck you want...
G: Why are you looking at me with those dismissive eyes for?!
K: Nn?
H: What is it?
H: You better not try to scare us, or you'll get payback in the end!
H: ...Hey, I'm not kidding!!
S: Gyaaaaaaa!!
H: H...hey!!
G: ...dammit, I've had it up to here with those idiots.
G: That's why I said you kids...
G: ...are the real scaredy-cats.

06)
G: Good...
G: Good evening~
S: I-I-I-I saw it!! It really exists!! It's real!!
S: Gin-chaaaaan!!
S: Forget about those guys, they're goners!!

07)
Scream: UOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!
S: They...they busted through the wall to escape!!
S: No, wait!!
S: It's riding on their backs!?
G: The woman's on your backs, you guys!!
S: Uwabababa!!
S: They're coming this waaay!!

08)
H: HEEY, what are you running for, you bastards!!
G: Eh? Wait, hold on a second, does your back feel heavy for some reason?
G: Hey, I definitely feel like there's something on my back here!
G: Hold on a second, let me take a look, I think something's there!
H: I don't know what you're talking about!
G: Man, whatever's back there, it feels really heavy!!
H: Shut up! Just check it yourself if you're so worried!!
G: You don't think you could take a look real quick for me?
H: Hold on, let's do this!
H: When I give the word, we'll both turn around at the same time!
G: You sure as hell better look! Don't betray me! You better fucking look!!
H: Okay! One, two...
W: ...Good...
W: Good evening~

09)
S: They're dead.
S: They're definitely dead by now!
S: That settles it. The Vice-Captain's seat is definitely mine now!
S: Is this really the time to be saying that?!
S: Hey, does anyone have a light?
S: Ah, here's a anti-mosquito incense stick.
S: What the...why the hell would you have one of those?!
K: Shinpachi, is Gin-chan really dead? Did he really die?
S: The truth is, earlier, in order to kill Hijikata-san, I was using these to help summon a beast from the underworld.
S: Or wait...maybe that ritual really did do something...
S: Hey, just how black IS your heart?!
S: You're the true cause of all this, bastard! You're Gin-chan's mortal enemy now!
S: Hey, this place is too small for that, cut it out!!
S: Why do we always get stuck with you guys....
S: Nn?

10)
S: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
S: DE....DEDEDESPERADOOO!!
S: I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, please, forgive me!!
S: Quick, apologize, you idiots!!
S: If you bow and apologize from the bottom of your hearts then your feelings will be understood by anyone, morons!!

11)
S: We'll even lick the bottom of your shoes!!
K: Please spare us!!
S: I bet that I don't even taste that good...
S: Nn?
S: What the?
S: It's not there...
S: I wonder why...?

sfx at bottom of page: Puuuun puuuuun
12)
H: THAT PUN-PUN NOISE IS REALLY GETTING ON MY NERRRRVES!!!
G: So, you survived too...
H: What are you saying, you have even worse luck than me!
G: Where...where do you think it went?
H: Like I know! It probably went after the others.
G: Or maybe it ran away? The truth is, back there when it was chasing us...
G: I kept trying to cut it into pieces, you know...wonder if that worked...
H: Just shut up already, would you?
G: Well, I really was trying to pinch it...
H: You're really small-minded, you know that?

13)
Frog: Gekoh
G: Alriiight, let's wash up and get our energy back.
G: And then we'll launch our next counter-attack.
H: Hey, don't overdo it, I can hear your voice quivering.
H: Just leave that guy to me. Scaredy-cats can just go in the house and fart for all I care! (*This is a play on words that doesn't translate =P)
G: You're the scaredy-cat! C'mon, admit it, the reason you're hiding in the lake is because you pissed your pants and don't want anyone to see, right?
H: What the hell?! Forget the damn ghost, I should exterminate you!!
H: You owe me a lot, especially with all that interest piled up, so feel free to use this as a chance to pay me back in full if you want?
G: Eh? What do I owe you? I'll give it back if you want, I don't care! I already bought a new Famicom anyway! (*Japanese NES)
H: THAT'S REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING!!

14)
S: It's just...
S: ...as I thought.

15)
S: This guy,
S: this guy,
S: and this guy.
S: Everyone who's been attacked by the ghost are exactly the same.
S: They all have mosquito-bite like wounds...
S: That thing...
S: ...isn't a ghost at all!
H: Heeeeey, holy shit, is that thing flying?!
G: H-h-h-hey, s-s-s-see, I told you, you're s-scared!
H: S-s-s-shut up, d-d-dumbass! Wh-who do you think y-you're talking to!!

16)
G: W..well, that really is something.
G: A-alright...I'll let you take care of it then.
G: I have, uh...stuff to do.
H: HOLD IT!!
H: What the hell do you mean by "stuff?!" Escape?! You're trying to leave me here to die, aren't you, bastard?!
G: N-n-no way, man...I, uh...have to go get my bazooka.
H: Mind telling me WHERE you keep your bazooka?
G: Everyone has a bazooka in their hearts!
H: Whatever, there's no way I'm letting you escape alone!
G: Hey, c'mon, what are you doing, dude?!
SFX: Gobweh!!

17)
H: That's what happens when you randomly try and run away...
H: If only he'd stuck more to the Samurai way...
H: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!!
SFX: Buwoh!!
G: Preaching to me about the Samurai way...you're 100 years too early!!
H: ...Huh?

18)
M: Ummm~
M: I'm very sorry~
M: I'm a mosquito-looking Amanto living on Earth.
M: Recently, at the company I work at, I got impregnated by my boss.
M: In order to incubate the child properly, I needed energy.
M: You guys have a pretty nice garden over there, so I decided to start raising the child there.
M: One time I went wandering when I had a craving for blood, and discovered that a bunch of strong, young men live here, so it ended up becoming my favorite feeding ground...
M: I'm really sorry, but I just wanted to become strong! In order to raise my child properly, I wanted to become strong!!
H: Uh, sorry, but would you stop making that weird face already?
G: ...Geez.
G: Who cares if it's a ghost or a mosquito, this whole situation is still a pain in the ass...

19)
H: The real pain in the ass here is you! I told you already I wasn't going to give you any reward, so go get lost already!!
G: Hey, pal, you forget that I ended this entire ordeal with a single strike!
H: What are you talking about? It was my single strike right in front of you that solved all this!
H: If you had just died in the first place this would have gone a lot more smoothly.
G: You sure talk big for such a scaredy-cat.
G: To think that the fearsome, Demonic Vice-Captain would be scared of a little ghost..
H: I wasn't scared, you idiot, I was just surprised! There's a huge difference!! You were clearly scared, though.
G: That was just what I planned beforehand...the truth is, I love this kinda stuff...yeah, I might do this next weekend too...
K: Gin-chan, are you ready to get going...
K: ...What are you two doing down there?
G&H: I dropped my contacts!

20)
Top: blah blah blah everything from before except #7

<From Kanagawa-ken: Question from No-Pen-Name-San

Sensei, did you properly research your Bakumatsu (*Last part of the Tokugawa Era before it was overthrown and began the Meiji Restoration) history before writing this? Mutsu Munemitsu's (*statesman and diplomat during the Meiji Period) hometown isn't Tosa, (*Area of Japan during the Bakumatsu. Also Sakamoto Ryouma's hometown) you know.

<Answer>
Before that, I need to figure out what aliens are doing in the Bakumatsu era. Gotta keep studying!!

(8 is on page 86)