Sexy Commando Gaiden: Sugoiyo!! Masaru-san 43

SEXY COMMANDO GAIDEN: SUGOI YO!! MASARU-SAN #43

tl by molokidan

171)
B: A long, long time ago...
B: there was a grandpa and a grandma.
B: The grandpa would go to gather firewood in the mountains,
B: while the grandma would go to the river to wash clothes.
B: However, whenever the grandma got to the river, she would always just throw down the clothes,
B: and could think of nothing but swimming.
B: After cautiously checking the surroundings,
B: the grandma would gently strip off her clothes...
B: And so, the grandma would lower her bewitching, supple body....
B: into the flowing water--and then...

Commando 43 - Monotarou (*t/l a play off Momotarou, a famous Japanese fairy tale)

172)
Commando 43 - Monotarou
B: From the head of the river, came a floating THING. (*the joke here is that mono means thing instead of momo, which means peach)

173)
B: Surprised, the grandma put on her slip,
B: and then, looking at the something, whispered...
B: That looks really tasty...
B: The drool coming from her mouth was too intense to be kept down.
B: She quickly picked up the thing and took it home.
B: Then, waited for the grandpa to come back...
B: After a bit, the grandpa soon returned.
B: For some reason, the grandpa, who should have been gathering firewood, was completely naked.
G: Again, grandpa?
B: But she was used to that.
B: She told the grandpa of what happened that day,
B: and brought out the thing from inside.

174)
B: The two of them quickly channelled their "ki" in hopes of breaking open the thing,
B: and soon, the voltage from the couples' love was on the verge of reaching its maximum.
B: However, just as they were about to release their ki,
B: the thing broke from the inside out!
B: And from the inside...
B: a cute boy
B: was born, crying!
M: GAAALIIIIILEEEEOOOOO!
B: But the grandpa and grandma paid no attention to the boy,
B: and were far too busy greedily devouring the thing.
B: And so the boy got pissed.

175)
B: Finally, after the grandma and grandpa finished eating it all,
B: they looked at the pissed-off boy and were startled.
B: Then, they gave him a name:
G: Hmmm...
G: Yoshinobu!
B: Monotarou.
B: The grandma and grandpa raised Monotarou well.
B: In response, Monotarou grew bigger and bigger.
B: And so, 3 years later,
B: Monotarou matured.
B: But he was still completely naked.
M: Grandpa, grandma, thanks so much for raising me all this way.
M: I'm going to head to Onigashima and defeat the evil oni there.

176)
G: O...
G: Onigashima?
B: Looking at Monotarou, who had suddenly started talking about something random like that,
B: Grandpa and Grandma wondered if their son Monotarou was retarded.
B: But the truth is, he wasn't.
B: Onigashima really existed,
B: and Monotarou knew this.
M: Grandpa, Grandma, I have a request.
M: In order for me to beat the oni, I first need you to make me the best millet dumpling in all of Japan, grandma.
M: And then Grandpa, as congratulations for me maturing...
M: I'd like you to make me a suit.
B: They both obeyed his orders.
B: Of course, if they had wanted to go against him, there wouldn't really have been anything they could do about it.
B: Grandma made a bunch of the world's finest millet dumplings,

177)
B: and on the other hand, Grandpa misunderstood what Monotarou had meant by suit,
B: and so he brought an anti-radiation suit.
M: Grandpa's gone senile...
B: Monotarou thought that from the bottom of his heart.
B: And so, Monotarou took the millet dumplings, wore the anti-radiation suit and an eggshell on his head, and then strapped a flag that said "Japanese" on his back.
M: Here I goooo!
B: After imitating a Portuguese man saying "Here I gooo!," he left for Onigashima.
B: After a bit of traveling, he saw a barking dog.
H: Uh, hello...
B: After walking a little together, they started telling each other about their lives.
B: About suits, Portuguese people, how he was Monotarou and how he used to be in the Tanokin Trio...(*old Japanese comedy group)

178)
B: When he turned around, he realized a pheasant and a monkey had followed him.
B: They were after the millet dumplings.
B: He said he'd give them some if they became his friends.
M: Now follow me!
B: When they ate the dumplings Grandma had made,
B: a strange power began to emit from all of them.
B: But for some reason the monkey's was full of wasabi.
B: The monkey vowed never to forget this grudge for the rest of his life.
B: Monotarou and friends crossed over the field, and continued through the mountains,
B: heading toward Onigashima.
B: Finally, they reached it...

179)
B: There was a big gate on Onigashima,
B: and it didn't seem like it'd be easy to get in.
B: But then they got someone inside to open it up.
M: Excuse me!
T: Sure.
M: I am Monotarou, the strongest man in Japan! I've come to exterminate the oni, prepare yourself!
B: Just after having the gate opened for him, he immediately said something very rude.
B: The oni were taken aback.
T: How impolite!
B: Upon seeing the oni, without another thought, he leapt forward.
B: The millet dumplings had sped up the metabolisms of Monotarou and co., as well as increased their muscles. As a result, they became terribly strong!

180)
B: In minutes, the oni came close to being completely exterminated.
B: But one oni hurried away to go tell the oni captain what was happening.
B: In a deep room, the oni captain was being served by a wonderful woman.
B: He was drinking Don Perignon on a pile of dollar bills.
B: After hearing the news, the oni captain seemed rather reluctant to leave,
C: Tch!
B: but eventually moved out to the front.
B: The oni who came to report prayed and prayed for his captain to do well.
T: So sexy...
B: And so, the oni captain finally appeared.
B: But the oni captain was...
B: so skinny it was just pathetic.

181)
M: Sympathy is forbidden in war!
M: Sorry, but punch me three times!
B: Monotarou was the kind of man who could easily do ridiculous things.
C: Um...OK...
B: The captain was even more ridiculous.
B: But before anything could happen, he was somehow stopped by the dog, monkey, and pheasant.
M: Vow to never do any bad things again, and I will forgive you!
C: OK, I won't.
M: Bring all the sake, women, and valuables you own out here!
B: Monotarou forgave the oni out of his kind heart.
B: The oni were moved and presented Monotarou with all their treasure.
T: Please forgive us now. We won't do anything else.
M: What, seriously? This is all you have?
M: Aren't there, any, like...trapped princesses or something?
B: But Monotarou didn't need treasure. He told them to return the princess they kidnapped.

182)
B: And so, out came Princess Annojou.
B: The dog, monkey, and pheasant began drooling.
B: But Monotarou
B: got more pissed than any other man in Japan, ever.
B: So, Monotarou once again crossed over the mountains and fields to go back,
B: and was soon home safely.
B: Upon his arrival, Grandma and Grandpa came out to greet him, overjoyed.
G: Yoshinobu!
B: They began throwing the money around,
B: as if they had gone mad.

183)
B: After that, a new, happy life began for everyone.
B: There was a great feast every day.
B: The dog, monkey, and pheasant also revealed the truth, that they were merely humans wearing tights,
B: and celebrated with everyone else.
B: And soon, 20 years passed.
M: Oya? I'm already this old...?
M: Guess it's time for me to return...
B: Suddenly, Monotarou said it was time for him to return, and everyone got a little anxious.
F: To...where...?
B: This was because at the time, due to his quick maturation, Monotarou's body, soul, and brain were all worse off than anyone else's.
B: Everyone wondered if Monotarou had gone senile.
B: But at this moment--

184)
B: Light began to shine down from the sky, and then Monotarou's body began to rise upwards.
B: Behind the light, there was a gigantic, unidentified flying object.
B: Monotarou disappeared in the light with a smile on his face.
G: He really returned...
B: Everyone realized that Monotarou was not senile, and were soon comforted.
B: After Monotarou disappeared, everyone continued to live in peace.
B: But they never forgot him.
B: The monkey, too...
B: did not forget what happened 20 years ago...
B: the pain of the wasabi...
B: He never forgot it.
B: And so, everyone lived happily ever after.

185)
Book: MEMORIES
Hananakajima
M: Fufu...
M: That sure brings back memories....
M: Fufufu...
F: What's wrong, Masaru-kun? Smiling like that...
F: What is that?
M: Fufu...this?
M: What do you think it is?
F: What?
M: It's a se-cr-et!
F: You're so silly, Masaru-kuun!
B: And so,
B: it was a slightly painful Fall afternoon.

[4]People Who Go Their Own Ways(End)