Reserved for Japanzai
Nozoki Ana Chapter 93
Chapter 93: Letter
A message from Emiru to you. // Read it.
(Kido-.san, // this is...)
Kido-san, // this is a letter you probably won't read.
I wrote it with that in mind.
Maybe you... or the meddling Terakado Makiko // might miraculously find this letter.
it'll be forever in the hole, not getting found by anyone.
If you ask me, I prefer the latter.
After all I strongly asked the landlady not to let anyone inside.
Still leaving behind a letter
shows my weakness.
You might have thought of me as a special existence. // But it's different.
You were special to me.
Two years ago, I was as good as dead.
Anger, happiness or sadness... I couldn't feel a single thing.
And then I met you and thought:
He smiles as he has no worries----
Not long after that, I found
the hole in the wall.
I saw the true appearance of my neighbour
with a sparkling smile...
At that time
my empty heart was moved---
I felt it.
That.. I was...
After our "peeping" started, // I became desperate.
So that our risky relationship
I didn't want to leave you... // I wanted to know the origin.
The origin of this feeling which I get through the hole...
For that purpose I wouldn't stop at anything--
Making that my top priority, // I became warped.
Until "that time" that is...
The moment when you lost Kotobiki-san---
I... strongly... though:
I want to
I want to cross the "peeping hole"
and hold him directly in my arms----
But everything just went wrong back then.
Even if you had ask, I wouldn't have had the courage to answer.
Because I had nothing to offer...
I'm really sorry for back then...
I wanted you to have a normal love...
And I // would watch you from the sidelines...
But I must say, you were // really mysterious.
Every time you got hurt or saddened, // when you laughed or yelled with all your might...
your radiance only seemed to grow.
I'm sure that's your "kindness". // At least I believe so.
Being besides you made me a bit kind too.
I'm happy for that.
I wanted to watch over you a bit longer,
but our "peeping" is already over...
Ah, the last peeping felt really good! // The answer was rather simple:
[The letter repeats the stuff above and below]
"I love you". // That's all it was.
I loved Emiru....
All this... // time...!
I didn't... // want to accept it...
Because we met under these circumstances...!
So... // I deceived myself...
telling myself she's a tough and strong girl... // I was always getting spoiled...
But that's wrong...!
She's a fragile... // real fragile...
...Sorry. // I'm sorry...!
(Terakado Makiko // Have you calmed down? I'll search a bit longer for any places Emiru is likely to go to!)
After that, I---
seriously wrecked my brains for 3 days.
About what to do...
What I have to do...
There's a lot to do, // but the first thing to do is obvious...
I have to settle things...
And it's gonna be quite harsh---
An unknown number... // ...Is it Emiru?
..... // Hello?
Right now... // I'm in a restaurant in your neighbourhood...
It's the one we often went to. // Do you remember?
Or do you have forgotten about me, since we // haven't met for so long?
Eh...? // This voice...!
It's been a while, Tatsuhiko-kun.
...You got time to step out for a bit?