If you'd like to use this translation, all I ask is that you send me a message letting me know, put my name in your credits as "Translation by scrubb" (or "English translation by scrubb" if you're using it as a base for some other language), and send me a link to the finished product. Enjoy.
Note (8-29-09): I've incorporated all of the updates from my comments below. If you used this TL prior to today, please check below for the differences!!
Note (9-20-09): Updated with corrections/suggestions from Amzy. Thanks also to Unproductive and Maguregumo. I'm considering this to be the final version.
Happy Negative Marriage, Chapter 01. You can find the raw here
Conventions: Names are spelled out the first time, abbreviated thereafter. Sound effects that I think are necessary to understanding the action are translated with SFX. Translation notes to the editor (not for publication) are marked with “Ed:” Other TL notes may be published if you want to edit them in.
I gave up transcribing the Japanese text after page 13 because it made the process four times slower. This author uses a lot of text variations that are tedious to type out. Hopefully 13 pages is enough starting material for anyone who wants to check their work against mine.
00 (magazine cover)
Left sidebar: Fuck dating! A loser? Shut up! Leave me alone!! We bring you that kind of new series!
Right sidebar: To celebrate the new series we're giving away book cards to 100 people! Check the advertisement on the right hand page for details!
Title: Happy Negative Marriage
SFX (little bubbles): haa (Ed: 9x on page)
SFX: SQUISH ♥
Box: This is...
Box: At this rate
Girl: Mm ♥
SFX: (little bubbles): haa (Ed: 7x on page)
SFX (yellow kana): Thump (Ed: 6x on page, heartbeats)
Box: I'll f...finally
Box: Sh-sh-she even
Box: s-seems to want...it...
SFX: thump (Ed: 2x, heartbeats)
SFX: SQUISH ♥
SFX (little): shiver♥
Girl: mm... / Ohhh♥
Box: D-does that mean th-th-that
Box: I c—c-c-c-can / do it!!!
Box: I—I-I-I can / ...Oh!?
Keitarou: Oh!! That's right!! / If I do it I gotta... / ...ma
SFX: Thump (Ed: 5x, heartbeats)
Top section (in English order)
“Love beyond age 30”
The highly-praised Volume 1 will get an additional printing!
A good-for-nothing single guy's life-sized love story
Happy Negative Marriage
Magazine cover: Change H Pink (Ed: The rest is illegible in my raw)
Pink circle: Ryuta Amazume
Color Cover and Opening Pages
New Comic Anthology
[Change H Pink]
Tagline: On behalf of the bachelor himself ♥ A drama about love and dating packed with sweetness.
Box: Uhh yesterday
SFX: chirp chrip chrip
Box: was June 15th, 2009.
Box: Keitarou Satou,
Box: Without fanfare,
Kei: It's already that late!?
Box: In my singles dorm room,
Box: Celebrated (Ed: Note that this and the next box are swapped in TL)
Cake: Happy Birthday!
Box: my 30th birthday.
Kei: Hey...you guys!! / Get up!! We gotta go to work.
Chen: It's too earlyyyyy / Honcho (TL Note: He says Ohayou gozaimasu, which means “good morning,” but Keitarou takes the phrase literally in his reply.)
Kei: Chen, it's already 8 o'clock, man!
Glasses: 8 o'clock!? / Seriously!?
Kei: Ah! / Don't we have a meeting with Takami-sempai first thing this morning?
Gla: Damn...We don't have time for breakfast. / Hey Keita, can I eat this leftover cake?
Kei: Go for it. You're the one who bought it for me.
Chen: I want some too!
Kei: Woops! / Sorry Chen
Chen: Sorry, Honcho
Kei: No, it's my fault.
Kei: Just find a tissue and wipe it up.
Kei: Huh? Last night...
Kei: I got 3 phone calls? / Hm?
Kei: Geh!! My mom?
Kei: She's persistent...
Kei: Ignore. Ignore...k.
Kei: Hey! You there
Kei: You're 30 years old, dude! / Sheesh, I can't believe it.
Box: The factory I work in / is a 15 minute walk from the dorm. (TL Note: Some Japanese companies provide corporate housing for employees.)
Box: A professor I met in college got me a job here, what...eh? 8 years ago already!!
Box: I do research and development work on plastics.
Box: It's simple work...but it suits me. / And they pay my salary, so I can't complain.
Box: I'm also surrounded by good people...I think. / I'm content. No complaints at all.
Kawakami: Morning, Keita
Box: This is Kawakami. / He's my peer...
Kei: Ahh, mornin'.
Ka: Sorry, Keita
Box: He's a nice, straightforward guy.
Ka: Yesterday was your birthday, huh. / Sorry I forgot...
Box: A real...good guy / Honestly
Kei: I appreciate the thought
Ka: Well, it's too bad you didn't come over, ya know. / We had an awesome dinner. / It's better than junk food.
Box: Almost too nice
Box: Just...once in a while
Box: I kinda wish he'd leave me alone.
Ka: Even if I say that, it's just my landlady's home cooking / But wouldn't it be nice if Miku baked a cake? / And just for you too...
Kei: I'm fine. I'm fine. / There are kids there though, so I'd rather not. / But thanks.
SFX: Tap Tap
Ka: Well, then next year!
Ka: Oh yeah! Keita
Ka: Mr. Tsuji / was looking for you. He said come by when you're free.
Box: Wh...what? Me?
Box: Did I...screw something up?
Tsuji: Well, sorry to bother you, Satou-kun!
Tsu: So next Sunday it turns out there's something I can't get out of / and I can't go with you.
Tsu: I'm really sorry. / Your parents even left it to me to handle things...
Tsu: But!! Never fear, it'll be fine!
Kei: Pa...rents // mine? Huh? // Hah?
Tsu: The other parents are extremely warm-hearted people.
Tsu: They're my relatives. They aren't that uptight at all.
Tsu: And the girl is a splendid woman as well.
SFX: Mhm mhm
Tsu: I'm sure you'll like her too.
Tsu: I'm certain I'm being helpful. / ...I really am.
Kei: So, uh...this // Ng? Uhhhh // In other...words
Tsu: We're also from the same town. It's like I've helped raise you. / This will be your coming of age. / It's a good chance.
Kei: E-Excuse me, but / Uuuuummm...
Kei: Y--Y-Y-You're talking about a
Kei: marriage interview...aren't you. / I think.
Tsu: ...Of course.
Kei: Right... / Boss
Roommate2: MARRIAGE INTERVIEW!!? / WH-WHOSE!?
R2: Satou-san!? For real!!?
R2: Hey man, this is serious!
SFX: chatter chatter chatter
ざわ ざわ ざわ
R3: The emperor of the singles' dorm...married!!?
R4: Hey!! Where's Satou-san!?
Chen: Honcho-san's in the parking lot?
Kei: The hell're ya thinking!! (TL Note: Keitarou's speech gets sloppy when he's angry.)
Kei: Settin up a marriage interview 'thout even tellin me!!
Kei: Fuckin' A!! Think ya can do whatever jus' cuz yer my mom!?
Mom: Shut cher trap!! (TL Note: He obviously learned this from his mother.)
Mom: Yer th' one who's outta line!! Ya neeeever come home 'nymore / An ya don' ev'n pick up ma phone calls!!
Mom: Yer 30 years old now...30!
Mom: Yer mom...is getting worried about ya. / I can’t possibly die in peace with the way things are... / Please listen, Keitarou.
Mom: Please think about yer mom's peace...Keitarou
Mom: This'll be my dying request...
Kei: Like I care, you hag!!
Kei: That's just dirty!! Using the boss like that!!
Mom: Besiiiides, it's not like ya can let Mr. Tsuji down like that, either. OHOHOHO
まーさか おめえ辻部長に恥かかすたりはできねェがねェ♡ うふふふ♡
Kei: FUCK!! / FUCK
SFX: Haa haa
SFX: Haa (3x)
Kei: What is it!!
R2: Er. Um.
Background: Arranged? It's true! No way! (Ed: The last one is a guess)
(no bubble): Playing a game to calm himself down
Box: And so arbitrarily
Box: All this real and perceived pressure on me
Game: Dec(ide) // Will you attempt it? // I will! // I won't // Return
Box: to get married just because I'm old enough
Box: is really just
Box: a...pain in the ass.
Box: The factory...the manufacturing industry itself is still a patriarchal society.
Box: There's a “Boys become men when they raise a family.” / atmosphere there.
Coworker: Arranged marriage / Sounds pretty sweet, Satou-kun. / This is your big chance!
Box: The more it's repeated
Box: The more it feels like they mean...
CW: Kawakami's the same age as you, but they made him group lead first.
CW: I think it's more because he's already married than because of his abilities.
Box: “Can a man without a family really manage a project!?”
Gla: Since the beginning! / Society and the company have always mistreated us single guys!!
Gla: Even the company's benefits plan has been that way from the beginning!!
Gla: All you need is a wife and kids. Stipends, vacation... / Those bastards!!
Box: The singles dorm I live in
Gla: I mean...Well, geez
Gla: Maybe we don't know quite how tough it is / to have a family...But still!!
Gla: Like taxes even. Only families get reductions!!
Gla: What!! Is it a sin to be single!?
Box: Is $300 a month for an 8-mat room with utilities, 15 minutes walk from the plant!! (TL Note: An 8-mat room is about 12'x12')
Box: What's more
Gla: Are you listening, Keita!?
Box: I have friends who come over and play fighting games all night.
Kei: I-I hear you Sem-pai-!!
Box: This...my beloved castle...
Gla: And as for us, we're doing just fine the way we are!!
Gla: But the company decides that a man ought to be married before he's over 30!!
Box: will kick you out when you turn 31 / in other words.
Box: So that's how it is...
Kei: Hm? / A call?
Box: And in my case
Box: My parents are hicks with antiquated ideals...
Box: who grieve over my singleness like I'm a sinner...
Kei: Who'd answer that? Shit!!
Kei: Marriage interview?
Kei: Arranged marriages and whatnot...
Box: Marriage interviews...
Box: And marriage itself...
Case: You / Tonight
Box: I don't have any real interest in them.
R2: It's not just a marriage interview. / Whoa, close one.
SFX: taptap taptap
R2: Isn't it basically sticking together two lame ducks?
R2: In other words both sides are leftovers! / Chen, the flash grenade!
R2: They're butt ugly, or have shitty personalities. Those are the kinds of people who do marriage interviews.
R2: It's a compromise since they're so unpopular. / It's basically giving up on life. / But not me! / Yes! We got his tail! (Ed: Thanks Unproductive and Maguregumo!)
R2: Even if the boss orders you to do it / finding a woman is something you do yourself, I say!!
Chen: Asakura-san, Honcho-san's right behind you.
R2: I'm sorry! My bad!
R2: I'm sorry! My bad!
Box: That's how it is. I was just bitching about it to the world.
Box: In short,
Gla: Ya know...honestly
Gla: Honestly, it's lame.
Gla: I think marriage is a choice.
Box: Problem is...
Gla: I thought that from the beginning.
Gla: It's just that I don't have a partner...
Box: We're just not popular.
Box: In 30 years time I've never tried hard to be popular.
Kei: Doesn't matter if I'm popular or not / I'm screwed anyway.
Kei: Whenever I'm in front of a girl I always tense up for some reason.
Gla: I hear that...
Box: Get married?
Box: Is this really the kind of conversation 30 year-old men have?
Gla: Even if I'm not specifically thinking / about getting her to like me...
Gla: ......you know / it's the beer talking
Gla: But can I ask a stupid question?
Kei: Like what?
Gla: So when you're married...uh / You're talking to a woman every day, right? / So you gotta talk about the same stuff...
Kei: Yeah, I guess so.
Gla: Isn't that exhasuting?
Gla: I mean...
Gla: Beyond that point / I can't imagine what marriage must be like.
Kei: I understand that sentiment / ...how sad is that.
Box: Ahh...And so / we comfort ourselves / with these lame heart-to-heart chats...
Kei: Ohhh yeah / Guess what Kawakami said to me.
Ka: It's not a matter of being popular or not!
Ka: In your case it's because you always give up right away.
Gla: Whoa...I can't believe he said that.
Kei: There's more.
Ka: When I see your buddies at the singles dorm, I think
Ka: He's probably scoring points with the ladies without trying / but they're negative points.
Ka: As far as that goes,
Ka: You should really be asking yourself “Are these sour grapes?”
Both: That dick...
Gla: I can't tell you whether or not it's sour,
Gla: But at least it's better / than the marriage interviews were.
Gla: Yeah. / Last year I had three of them. / Don't tell the guys, k?
Kei: A-And? H-H-H / How'd it go?
Gla: I told you earlier. They totally suck! / ...well
Gla: At first, well...we were on equal footing.
Gla: We were talking normally and all.
Gla: Then suddenly she started asking about my salary,
Gla: And demanding that I do the housework, / and it just became list of requirements.
Gla: Even though I was doing my best, I started mumbling and didn't give her one good response...
Gla: It was a total disaster. / ...Aah, I get goosebumps just thinking about it.
Gla: By the way, what's this girl like, anyway, Keita?
Kei: ...Oh yeah. She sent me a picture, I think. / Umm
Kei: My parents are always screaming “Marriage! Marriage!” / They sent me a packet a while back and I ignored it. / Where'd it go...
Gla: Just looking at this room, you're a long way from marriage.
Kei: Oh leave me alone.
Kei: Ah! / Here it is. / This one?...
Gla: Umm, Keita, what's that stain?
Kei: Uhhhhh the cake fell on it I think. / Gross! The pages are stuck together.
Gla: I wonder what kind of girl she is.
Gla: She's the boss's relative, right? / Maybe she looks like him?
Kei: Oh gawd...As long as it's not her face I don't care.
SFX: peel peel
Box: hottie's picture
Box: sweet, just like
Sidebar: Amidst the bitter comes the sweet...the curtain opens on his 30s.
CHAPTER 01 END