Saint Young Men
Summer jam at the community center
-> RTS Page for Saint Young Men 6
Narration: People gather where there is water.
It is said that water cleanses not only your body, but your soul as well.
... there is a traditional rite of baptism using holy water.
In Buddhism, one can train under a waterfall...
... in order to harmonize your spirit and achieve enlightenment.
Isn't it better to stop?
I think that's enough...
But wait a little, I have this feeling that now...
Buddha: I have this feeling that I am about to find another answer that leads me closer to the ultimate Truth of the Universe...
Chapter 6: Summer jam at the community center
Jesus: And I am saying that you can't be under such "waterfall" any longer!!
(Anyone can see that impossible rainbow glowing around your head!!)
Jesus: Jeez... this is really great...
[T.N.: this "Jeez" is a pun of mine. Feel free to replace with "oh my" or similar if you don't like it! XD]
Jesus: And to think that we don't have even a fan at our place...
It is fun just to stay here, floating without worries, don't you think so, Budda?
Hey! You're swimming for real!? And you are fast!!
And you swim in a weird fashion, don't you?!
Buddha: What? Are you talking about the Madar style of swimming?
Jesus: Madar?! That's the name?!
Buddha: I used to take purification baths every day.
I was called the "Rumble fish of Ganges River".
Jesus: Who would have guessed that Buddha had such an epithet?
Buddha: Since you are here, Jesus, why don't you swim as well?
Leave that floater aside and join me!
Jesus: Uh... well, that's not a possibility...
... I can't swim...
Buddha: Is that so?
You said that you were baptized in a river, so I thought that...
(you were called the "Angelfish of Jordan River"...)
Jesus: Oh, the baptism... well, actually...
[Side note: Buddha: I bought Billy's BootCamp.]
John the Baptist: Good. So, Jesus, please dive and come here!
[T.N.: The original is "John-san". I decided to adopt "Mr. John" to reflect the way Jesus and Buddha treat John the Baptist.]
Jesus: What? Do I have to swim!?
Nobody told me that! I can't do it! No!!
John: Oh, okay, then you can put just your head into the water and...
Jesus: You are telling me to plunge my head into the water!?
And what about my nose!? And my ears?! No way that I'll have that uncomfortable feeling!!
John: Oh, okay, then I will pour only a bit of water onto your head...
Jesus: S... sorry...
Oh, can I keep my eyes closed?
Jesus: I felt embarrassed at seeing that Mr. John made things easier and easier for me....
(In the end, Dad took the shape of a pigeon and actually came to see me...)
God: (Are you all right!?)
Jesus: (Y, yeah, I'm all right, Dad!)
Buddha: I see... so, the rite of baptism is actually a display of Mr. John's compassion....
Didn't you have to swim when you were preaching?
Jesus: Oh, no... there was that day when I had to help a sinking boat, but...
... I walked on the surface of the lake for 5 km...
(No way I would swim!)
Jesus (Enough of this! I will walk!)
Buddha: Why do I have this feeling that swimming would be something much easier...?
[side note: Jesus: Come to think of it, it's impossible to lose weight easily with Billy's BootCamp...]
Buddha: Hmmm... but you have talent...
Jesus: No, no! Not at all!
Buddha: Yes, you do.
Jesus: Where do you find such talent in me...?
Buddha: Jesus. Given your hair...
Buddha: you could do...
... the Samara Morgan joke.
I know that it is a beaten joke...
... but it is a must.
[N.T.: this kind of joke is calle "Ippatsugei" in Japanese. It's a really short, simple and one-man comedy skit. Having a "Ippatsugei" tends to be very useful at parties... and in Japan, Samara's name is "Sadako".]
Jesus: ... ok, I will do...
Buddha: That's the spirit! The spirit of "Long hair" from the "Punch and Long Hair Duo"...!
Right, so let's begin by putting your face into the water!
Jesus: W... well, this I can do. After two centuries, I was able to do this.
Check this out.
Buddha: Good. Then, open your eyes next.
Buddha: What?! Are you already bearing so much suffering to open your stigmata!?
Jesus: This isn't good at all! Let's mix all this so that nobody will notice!
Buddha: W, wait a sec...
Do you think that this is like pissing in the water?! I don't think mixing the water is a solution!
All right, you can stay with your eyes closed.
Shall we put all your head into the water?
Jesus: What? Isn't it too early for something too hard like that?
Buddha: Don't worry!
I think that, if you plunge your head in one single movement, you won't be afraid.
Relax and go for it!
Jesus: Y... yeah... perhaps... relax...
Relax... go for it...
Wow! You were right! I'm not frightened!
It is a miracle!
Buddha: Jesus... open your eyes...
Jesus: Oh, no! I can't do it! It's impossible!
(You are too rough on me...)
Buddha: You're doing something WAY MORE IMPOSSIBLE! So open your eyes!
Buddha: I must say that it gave me some cold sweat!
Jesus: S... sorry for making you feel embarrassed at the pool.
Buddha: Oh, nevermind.
I looked forward to enjoying the sauna as well.
Phew... the sauna is really great...
Sauna gives a peculiar feeling of union...
It is kind of like making people feel closer...
It's great to feel that both your body and heart become warm in the sauna...
Jesus: Oh, yes, I live in the neighborhood as well...
Oh, no, my parents live a bit far from here.
Buddha: Oh, there you go, Jesus!
Did you make a new friend?
Oh, but I think it's better for you not to look too long at him, Buddha.
Jesus: After all, he seems to be a strong believer of Buddhism.....
Yakuza: Whassup? This punch guy, is he your bro?
Jesus: Uh... it's the first time anybody makes such question... but I think it would be something like that...
Buddha: A mafia guy---!!!
[T.N.: Buddha uses the word "Gokudô", which is a more polite way to saying "Yakuza" or Japanese mafia]
Buddha: And he thinks that Jesus is one of them too...?!
Yakuza: But bro, if you are from the 'hood...
What group left such scars on you...?
Jesus: Oh, you are talking to these ones?
That was because I was condemned to capital punishment by some government officers, and...
Yakuza: WHAT!? SO YOU ARE A CULPRIT COMING OUT FROM JAIL, JUST LIKE ME!!
Yakuza: I WAS SENT TO ABASHIRI! AND YOU, BRO?!
[T.N.: Abashiri is a freezing town in Hokkaido.]
Jesus: Oh, I was sent to Golgotha.
Yakuza: Oh, I see!! Hahahaha!
Buddha: Jesus, please realize that the temperature here in the sauna is plunging down really fast...
Yakuza: That time, there was this one traitor among my younger bros...
So, I spent seven years in Abashiri to pay for that blunder...
Jesus: Oh, I see... it was something similar for me as well.
Though in my case, I came back after three days.
(Seven years is a long period of time, isn't it?)
Yakuza: Y... you got your freedom after just three days!?
How did you manage that...?
I would love to know, in case I go through a similar situation in the future...
Jesus: Oh, I didn't do anything...
Yakuza: Somebody pulled you out from there?
Jesus: Oh, no, in my case...
Jesus: ... IT WAS THE WILL OF MY FATHER, SO...
Yakuza: ... bro...
... you should've told me earlier...
If I knew you were the second generation head of your group, I would have shown more manners...!
I am really sorry for speaking like that to you! Let me cut my little finger to apologise...!
Jesus: (Stop that, please!)
Eh? Why so formal all of a sudden?
Narration: Meanwhile, Buddha was thinking that it was the coldest sauna he ever had.
Buddha: I can't believe!
I got a cold sweat in a sauna!!
Jesus: Oh, so he was from the mafia...
Sorry, Buddha, for making you embarrassed in the sauna as well...
Buddha: It is a mystery how come you didn't realize that he was from the mafia...!
Jesus: (Is that a hair indeed?)
As for myself, it is a greater mystery how come you can get shampoo lather on that hair...
Buddha: Oh well. How about some ice cream after all this?
Jesus: Oh, that would be great!
Buddha: You think so too?
It makes us feel that it is summer, do---
H... how come!?
Jesus: What happened? Did you forget your underwear?!
Buddha: I didn't know this was a locker that doesn't return your 100-yen coin...!!
Jesus: ... it's amazing to see how such things make you so depressed, Buddha!
How about thinking that it was a money offering?
Buddha: Oh, but Jesus... to begin with, about the offertory boxes...
If the money offerings really reached me, do you think I would be sad with things like this?
Jesus: R... remember that we are NOT supposed to talk about that, Buddha!
Buddha: Oh, well. No ice cream today, then.
Jesus: Jeez! Well, then...
as I caused you so much trouble, allow me to pay you an ice cream!
Buddha: Eh? But...
Jesus: Don't worry!
Jesus: I would be most glad if you allow me to buy your smile for 100-yen.
Buddha: Jesus, you...
well, in that case, I'd rather like the konbini edition of Buddha that is being sold now...
[T.N.: some manga get a different edition to be sold only in convenience stores, which is called konbini edition.]
Buddha: (360 yen, paperback...)
Jesus: It's more expensive than your average Häagen-Dazs. Besides, you have all volumes of the manga, right?
Buddha: I can't help feeling this urge to buy it, since the manga is over and no new editions are planned...
Jesus: Buddha, you have become a firm believer of Tezuka, haven't you?
[T.N.: Tezuka is Osamu Tezuka, author of Buddha, Astro Boy, Black Jack and many other mangas, for those who don't know :P]
Jesus: (Let's hurry to a convenience store)
Buddha: Aaah... oh, my...
Pool is very cool, but this cool air of the convenience stores is incredibly great!
Jesus: I do agree with you!
Jesus: (Are you really going to buy it?)
Buddha: (I like this feeling of cheap paper. It makes me feel as if the manga was still being published!)
Clerk: SIR... SORRY, BUT...
Let's have our ice!
I guess we couldn't do anything about it!
That outfit matched you so much that even I didn't realize that something was wrong...
(In the Heavenly world, that outfit is standard, so it was all the more...)
Narration: Buddha, who almost got arrested by the police---
Narration: --- was so shocked that he locked himself up in the bathroom for three hours...