Saint Young Men 7

[1]
Delivery man: Mr Sei! A package for you!

Buddha: Oh, okay!

Delivery man: It is payment upon pickup...

Buddha: What?

Jesus: Hey, wait a sec... that's for me!!
Wait a sec! I will pay!
(Oh, dang! I hit the wall!!)

Buddha: D, don't worry, I will pay...
And how much is it?

Delivery man: 17,000 yen.

Buddha: Oh...
Right, I have the money.

Delivery man: Right, could you stamp here?
[T.N.: in Japan, you have "hanko", stamps that work as your signature.]

Buddha: Is it okay if I sign instead?
Oh, by the way, Jesus.


[2]
Buddha: Could you please shut the curtains so that light won't get out...?

(Delivery man: Light?)

Jesus: Yes, sir...

Narration: The curtains at Mr. Sei's place...
are heavy and shut any kind of light exactly because of situations like these.

Chapter 7: Buddha and Jesus in: Can I do it or not?


[3]

[side notes below:
Buddha: He prefers kotsubu natto. Add chive in and mix fiercely like 50 times. And then, add lots of ground sesame seeds, shichimi togarashi and dashi to eat. That's the way he likes it.

Jesus: He prefers hikiwari nato. Mix a little, add mayo and mix it more. Then, add in a bit of shoyu and mustard. That's the best.]

[T.N.:
Kotsubu: small beans.
Natto: fermented soy beans. A famous(?) food in Japan and abroad.
Shichimi togarashi: a popular seasoning in Japan, with seven different kinds of pepper ground and mixed together.
Dashi: kind of a Japanese seasoning.
Hikiwari natto: crushed natto.
Shoyu: soy sauce.]

Buddha: A beginner's kit for clay modeling...
17,000 yen... if we add the shipment and all, we have 20,000 yen.
Dost thou understand why I am shining?

Jesus: Heh... I wonder how many Watts you are irradiating...

Buddha: I wonder if I could sell this light to power companies and earn enough money to cover up your futile expenses, sire!
(Ahaha, we are in the end of the month!
Hahahaha, the end of the month!!)

Jesus: ... I'm sorry...
(And to think that the plan was to get those goods without Buddha knowing...)
(I really have the creeps when Buddha gets angry and starts talking like that...)

Buddha: Oh...
What is this smaller package?

Jesus: Oh, that's... uh...
I thought I'd buy you something too, and...

Buddha: WHAT?!
I HAVEN'T ---


[3]
Buddha: --- ASKED FOR---

[Beginner's kit for manga

Supporting the dream of drawing manga!!]

Jesus: I thought...
... you might be interested...

Buddha: Well, two futile expenses are still acceptable...
There is still one more Buddha's face left so...
BUT THIS IS IT!!

Jesus: Thank Father...! It was really a nice idea having bought that toghether...!!

Buddha: S... so, this is a G-pen...
[T.N.: G-pen is the most basic dip pen used in drawing manga.]

Jesus: W, well, look outside!
I was looking at the garden...
... and the leaves are all red now.

Buddha: Oh yes, it's already fall.


[4]
Buddha: Oh, so, you bought these because of the popular Japanese saying, "In Autumn, you Fall for Art".

Jesus: Yes, that's right! We have to make our lives richer with art!

Buddha: Right. Then...
They say also that "you Fall for exercise". So, could you please take care of the garbage for one week, starting tomorrow?

Jesus: (Ok, he's still angry...)
W, wow... that seems to be some nice exercise...

Buddha: ... hm...
manga....
Actually, I drew manga once when I was in the Heavenly Realms.

Jesus: (Oooh!)
Really?!
Hey, let me see it!

Buddha: N, no way!
Besides, that manga is no more, so...

Jesus: Hey, come on! How come that manga is no more?

Buddha: Believe me, it was erased by the wind!

Jesus: Hahaha, what are you talking about?

Buddha: No, I'm serious here!


[5]
Buddha: I drew with sand...
so, the drawing vanished at the same time I was working on it...
When I was wondering whether I should show the manga to anyone...
(the first gust of spring wind blowed, so...)
The manga was erased by the wind, starting with the climax panel I had put so much effort into...
So, I understood how transitory and ephemerous the world is...

Jesus: Stop making everything a practice full of suffering, Buddha!!

Narration: It's got to be the saddest 4-koma manga.
[T.N.: 4-koma (yonkoma) manga is similar to comic stripes published in newspapers, and is the most basic form of manga. Azumanga Daioh is an example of 4-koma manga.]


[6]
Buddha: By the way, talking about art...
(Hm... what am I going to draw...?)
those religious images come to my mind.
Personally speaking, I must say that I am not too satisfied with them...

Jesus: Eh? What do you mean?

Buddha: You see...
Why on Earth, those artists...
... tend to choose the fattest period of my life as their inspiration?!
That period is a dark period of my life !
I really get depressed when they choose it so many times!
(I know that even nowadays I am not that slender, but...)

Jesus: Oh, so you were disturbed about that, Buddha...

Buddha: Not to mention that they choose to depict my face with closed eyes, like in a failed picture...
(I can't bear looking at them myself...)

Jesus: Oh, I know what you feel!
To begin with, I...


[7]
Jesus: ... would like to be depicted in a more lively fashion!
(Ouch...)

Buddha: Oh, yes, sometimes you are bleeding in those figures, right?

Jesus: Right. They choose the wrong scenes, to begin with...
(Sheesh...)

Buddha: So, what kind of depiction would you like of yourself?

Jesus: Let's see...
How about holding a bowl in one hand and saying: "Gimme more!?"

Buddha: People would engage in fierce debate about the meaning of that bowl!
Not to mention that it looks like a protagonist of a shonen manga.

Jesus: And what's the problem with that?

Buddha: That's not good, Jesus.
If you get striken on your left cheek, it will look like you will strike their left cheek back...
(How dare you deny me thrice!!)

Jesus: Oh, I see...


[8]
Jesus: So, what do you suggest?

Buddha: How about using something more generic?
Like a depiction of the upper part of the body, without any background...

Jesus: Hey, that's cool! It looks like a bromide!
[T.N.: in Japan, "bromide" are commercial photographic portraits of celebrities, kind of a pin-up photography.]
Even we have that one good pose and angle to be depicted, right?

Buddha: Uh... I don't have such an angle, but...
(What are you talking about...?)
But just making a pose is not enough.
You need to make a face that gives you an aura of responsibility and proactivity...

Jesus: Hey, that hand sign is nice!
Then, if you add in some cool words, you can bet you will be able to spread your message!

Buddha: You're right...! If we take all that into account...


[9]
[Poster, from right to left, top to bottom]
If you strike me on my right cheek
I will turn to you my left cheek
Jesus Christ

Buddha: ... this is rather an election poster...
(in my case, it would be...)

[Poster, from right to left, top to bottom]
My first words were
"I am the only one who exists from the highest heavens to the lowest hell."

Jesus: No good, then...

Narration: Have to say that we'd like to see them.


[10]
Jesus: Great! It really rotates!

Buddha: Wow! That's nice!
It makes me think that 17,000 yen was cheap, after all...
(I want to play with it too)

Jesus: Don't you think so?!
Not to mention that you can bake this in the toaster!

Buddha: You got to be kidding! Even in our toaster...
... that can only bake bread?

Jesus: Yes! We can use our toaster, left by the previous resident to bake it!

Buddha: But... I'd rather buy a microwave oven than a potter's wheel...
(That toaster takes two minutes just to get hot...)

Jesus: Hey, it's turning out really nice...!
It's something very dear to me, a symbol representing me...

Buddha: Oh, you are molding a cross? That's really nic---


[11]
Jesus: No, I'm molding a notebook.
(Done!
I will use this as a lunchbox!)

Buddha: Is THAT your symbol?!

Jesus: All right, I will upload the molding process to my blog...

Buddha: To begin with, you didn't use the potter's wheel to mold that...
Is that all right with you?

Jesus: And what about you, Buddha?
How's the manga coming?

Buddha: Oh, well, I drew one page... want to see?

Jesus: Sure! Let me see it!

Buddha: Right, then...
Oh, but it is the first time I show this to other people, so keep your expectations low, okay?

Jesus: Okay, okay.

Buddha: And it was the first time I used G-pen, and...
I think nobody will laugh at this, and...

Jesus: Right, right...


[12]
Buddha: Just take a look at it and return it to me right away, without saying nor thinking anything, okay!?!?

Jesus: (Let it go!)
Do you want to show it or not!?
Oh, so it is a 4-koma manga...

[4-koma mnga, from right to left, top to bottom:

Get enlightened! Ananda (1)
Hey, Ananda!
Ah...
what is it?
[T.N.: There is an infamous pun in Japanese: "Ah... what is it" in Japanese is "Ah... nanda?"]

[the koma in the left]

the rib!
]

Buddha: y... yeah, my disciple Ananda was the model...

Jesus: Hm...
... heh...

Buddha: H, hey! You don't have to laugh!
I know that you are just being too kind!

Jesus: Heh...
Heheheheh...

Buddha: What?
Is it possible that you are laughing for real?!

Jesus: Hahahahahahah!!

Buddha: Hey, nobody laughs like that with a 4-koma manga!!
Stop trying to be nice and...


[13]
Buddha: I can't believe it!
The roses of your crown of thorns are blooming!?

Jesus: It was really really funny...
So funny that a even a miracle has happened...

Buddha: S, so you were laughing for real!
Wow... I am so happy!!
What am I going to do, now that I became confident in my work?
Is it better to send to a magazine for publication...?

Jesus: Oh, better not.
After all, the gag is about things that can happen in the Heavenly Worlds...
(Nobody down here will understand why a "rib dance" is so funny)

Buddha: Oh, I see...! So, nobody in the mundane realm would be able to understand this!!

Jesus: Not only that, only people who know the context would laugh.
I think it's better to take the reader into account when drawing.

Buddha: Oh, y, yeah...
Thanks, Jesus, for giving me a more accurate advice than I expected...


[14]
Buddha: Well, I think I'll send this first to Ananda and other disciples...
(since I've already drawn this manga...)

Jesus: Yes, do this and...
heh heh heh
(Man, I'm thirsty)

Buddha: ? What happened?

Jesus: Oh, I remembered again your manga and...
jeez, the "Rokko no mizu" became wine...
[T.N.: "Rokko no mizu" is water from Rokko, a water spring in Japan. It is a famous mineral water.]

Buddha: Oh, a miracle again...! I am feeling a bit embarrassed even!
Okay, now I feel like I seriously want to draw manga!
The closest step is then to make your friends laugh first, right?

Jesus: That's a good idea.
All right, I can't lose to you.
I will heat the toaster and...
Heh heh.
But really, that line from Ananda...
Oh...
Oh, no! Another miracle!!!

Buddha: Oh, my, again?

Jesus: And by the way...


[15]
Jesus: Is clay made of...
stone...?!

Buddha: Well, how about...

Jesus: ...toasting it...?

Buddha: Yes. The toaster is hot now, so...

Narration; And that night---

Jesus: J... jeez...

Narration: Yessir's blog ---

[blog content below:

Modelling diary (1)
It is a lunch box shaped like a notebook. Quite good, eh? When it is ready, I'll up the picture to the blog!

Modelling diary (2)
Lots of things have happened since then... but it was delicious ^-^
The wine tasted really great as well.

Comments (186 replies)

o.O at that. It was so unlike you!
------
WTF
------
I had expected more. What happened?
------
Now now, calm down, people. ^~^
But, yessir, please take care to avoid this kind of weird diary again...
(from A-mass) [T.N.: the original is A-men, where "men" is "noodles"]
]

Narration: --- was also toasted with many flame comments...