Mon Seul 4

**This translation was requested by DFCG / Arienai! group. Please do not use this without permission! Thanks :)

Chapter 4

P84

Minami: Huh?

P85

M: What are you doing Oniichan? Where’s your uniform? / and school?
Ikeuchi: Hmm? / Do you want me to tell you? / when we’re done taking our entrance exams…us seniors…

I: Can spend the rest of our school year playing! It’s the law!

M: Weird. What about breakfast?
I: Don’t need it / I’m eating out

I: Soooo

P86

I: I’m going out so can you give me money?
Father: Ah… / yeah but… // your tuition is pretty expensive… / can’t you find a part time job…
I: WHAT

I: A part time job? I will / but you’re the one that said I should study until I’m done with my tests! // The only reason you never say anything about the family or care for us because your only job is to bring home the money so why can’t you just give me the money without saying anything…
M: I’m done

I: Oh? / Ahh Minami I’m going too so wait a sec
M: We’ll be late!

P87

M: Oniichan that’s not cool // saying stuff like that when he’s giving you money
I: I know…sorry / I just get so frustrated looking at him complain

M: Dad’s kind of been depressed lately right?
I: Nah I don’t think so! / He’s always like that!

M: I guess / I’m just over thinking it

P88

Minami-chan Minami-chan!
M: Yeah?

I got tickets to see “Junior de Pon”!
M: really? // wow!

Let’s go together, Minami-chan!
M: Eh?

Just the two of us, we’ll keep it a secret from Tajima-san and the others! / It’s 8pm tonight so after school! Ok?
M: Really? // Me? I can go?

P89

M: ehhh…what to do… / I have to make everyone’s dinner…
Come on! It’s just today / okay? // we can see Matsu-kun and Nagai-chan live!!

Sometimes my mom even buys our dinner instead of making it!
M: Ummmm
You’re always working hard! / so they’ll be okay just one day!

M: Uh… // uhh… //no I can’t!
Ehhhhhh!!
M: I’m sorry! I can’t do it!

TV: see you next week!

P90

M: Ah // yes yes

M: Hello? Dad? Are you at the station? // eh…?

M: Oh… / okay… // it’s everyday these days… / I understand it’s for work… // so you don’t need dinner…okay

M: Hello? // oniichan?

P91

I: Sorry! Sorry sorry! I’m going to be late! // dinner? // sorry! Don’t need it!

M: Fine! // bye! // I’m hanging up!

M: Everyone is so selfish!

P92

M: And that’s why

M: We have all these leftovers! // can you have some?

M: You didn’t have to walk me home! / everyone walks home this late!
K: Nope! / what are you saying

P93

M: I’m sorry / I bet the dinner you make yourself is much better than mine
K: No no / you’re supposed to appreciate the love that went into the cooking

M: Haha all it is is love!
K: Just kidding! // I am happy, really! // Ikeuchi is so stupid, missing out on his sister’s dinner

K: You’re allowed to get mad too Minami-chan! / you made dinner for them!
M: Yeah…

M: True… // they’re so terrible, I cancel my plans to make dinner… / I should say I won’t make it anymore right?
K: Yup

M: Tell them to take me out more?
K: Yup
M: And to make me my lunch for my fieldtrips?
K: Yup
M: and that mom being gone is no excuse to stop celebrating Christmas?

P94

K: You’re still so young but you’re so tough // I’m proud of you

M: I don’t really want to hold it in / but if I say anything selfish it would only cause trouble / I thought / that’s how we all stuck together

M: I thought I was okay // for a long time

P95

I: Mi…

I: Look! You’ve caused so much stress… // you left Minami behind! / what were you thinking…
M: Stop it oniichan

I: Minami…
M: Why do you think I know this place?

P96

M: I’m the one that told him // to leave us

M: You’re the only one that still thinks that // that dad left us and went missing

I: What is she saying?

P97

F: Oh?

F: So / did you find them?
K: Yes // He’s talking to Minami-chan

F: I feel bad for what I did to Masaki… / he must be so confused
K: It looks like he just couldn’t believe it so he ran… // but it’s the only thing that could have been done at that time…

P98

When Masaki just entered junior high his mother left… // and I worked so hard I didn’t even go home many days to take care of the two of them // but I made Minami take the role of the mother when she was in elementary school // I convinced myself it was for work… / but really I was just scared of Masaki’s eyes that blamed me for everything

So when I was laid off at my job… / I realized I had lost my purpose in the family

P99

The reason why their mother left in the first place was because I always put off family for my job // I knew those kids would suffer a second time of having another parent walk out on them… // but I didn’t know I was so weak…

I: He should have told me…

P100

M: You’re the one that didn’t let him
I: How?
M: He couldn’t have told you // he’d been laid off

M: “Your only purpose is to bring home money” / “I only live with you because you bring the money home”
I: Uh…
M: Who used to say that all the time?

M: Oniichan
I: What…

M: To continue that story… // I started to bring Kanda-kun dinner / a few times after that too

P101

M: How I came to love Kanda-kun // and how he came to love me

And how we feel now

Listen to me // oniichan

I’m sorry / I know I’m hurting you // I’m doing something cruel… // but listen a little bit more / about dad and about me

P102

Listen!

P103

K: Hey!

K: That’s so dangerous / ignoring the red light! // you can’t complain if you get hit!
M: Ahh I’m sorry!

K: Ohhh…
M: Sorry…

K: At least nothing happened… / but if you had gotten in an accident right in front of my eyes, what would I tell Ikeuchi…?
M: What you’re just worried about making excuses?

P104

K: Of course not!
M: Ow oww sorrrryyy

K: You’re like a sister to me too / so please be careful from now on
M: Okay

M: A sister…

K: So? // where were you trying to go so quickly?
M: Eh…?

My dad // should be at work at this time… // but I saw him

P105

P106

M: Dad!
F: Ah // uhh // what?
M: I don’t want to go to school today!

F: Eh?
M: Take me somewhere!
F: What are you saying…I have to…

M: Yeah // I heard // you don’t work anymore // I called… / your office…

My father // would read the newspaper to hide his face // he would pretend to go to work and he couldn’t say anything for so long // my father that I love

P107

I: Ah?

I: You better go to school before you’re late
M: Oh…yeah // I’m leaving now

I: Huh!? // what are you still doing here dad! // if you’re late you’re going to get laid off! So hurry…
M: Ah! // he’s leaving now too! Right?

I: geez…

Short-tempered and selfish // my brother that I love // he doesn’t mean to // but he keeps hurting father

P108

F: I’m scared of Masaki

He knows I just use the excuse that I’m busy to take care of you two / I can’t tell him I lost my job…he won’t forgive me… I’m suffering at home… // I can’t take it anymore // it’s my punishment for neglecting you kids…

I’m sorry… / this is too difficult for you…
M: No… / I understand…

If oniichan finds out dad lost his job / oniichan will look down on dad more // dad in his weakened state can’t live with oniichan anymore

Don’t cry

P109

I have to think // and protect them both // I can’t give in // I have to be tough…

M: It’s okay dad // you can leave us // we’ll be okay just the two of us

I: Minami! // our dad! // I can’t believe him!

I’m scared

P110

M: Oniichan…

I: What should we do… // how are we going to survive?

I: I have to give up… // going to college…
M: Eh?

Dad told me that he already paid for college // is it not enough? // I don’t know // oniichan studied so hard… // is it better to have dad come back? // but they would fight? // dad might die // did I make a mistake?

P111

What should I do // I don’t know
I: Minami!

I: Kanda…

I: Kanda said he’d help! / I might be able to go to college…! // yeah we shouldn’t rely on that father of ours… // Minami, he’s a great guy!!

M: Kanda-kun…

P112

M: Kanda-kun…
K: Oh?

K: Hello… // how are you? Is this brother of yours treating you well?
I: Whaat hey!

Kanda-kun might help me

Kanda-kun might be // someone to rely on

P113

M: Mother // I turned 10 today…

The year you made me this bunny was the best year…. / the piano and Disneyland was fun too…
I guess oniichan forgot this year… / oh well

How old I am now isn’t important to anyone anymore

P114

K: Tada!

K: Ikeuchi asked me to come / because he’s working… // he remembered your birthday!
M: Such lies…

P115

K: He’s so late… // he should at least call!
M: It’s okay, I’m glad you came

K: I’m just here in his place / I’ll get mad at him for you
M: I like you Kanda-kun

K: Hm? / me too
M: Not like that

M: Not like that… // not…

P116

M: Hm! // oh well! / can I show you a game that’s popular in my class right now?
K: Really? It might be something we used to play!

M: First close your eyes
K: Nothing that hurts okay?

K: Eh?

P117

What do I have to do // to have someone to love me more than my brother or father does // before I break down from fear // help me

P118

I: This girl here
M: I don’t regret it // the person who helped me // is not dad or you
I: Is not my sister

Who is this “woman” in front of me?