Psyren
67
"Root"
-> RTS Page for Psyren 67
Edit - proof corrections added, thx
01
bold right: Ageha and Kabuto hitch a ride...what awaits them back at the "Root"!?
Call 67 - "Root"
Iwashiro Toshiaki
SUMMARY - While our protagonists Ageha and co. travel back and forth between the present and future, they fight for both their lives and a way to prevent the destruction of the world. The group would have been wiped out, were it not for their unexpected saviors--the grown-up children of Elmore Wood! The children effortlessly crush Dholaki and put Shiner on the run. We join our heroes, on their way to the "Root"...
02
-Ageha, you have to stay still!
-YEOWCH!!
-Right now, healing your leg takes priority! You can ogle Marie later!
(t/n - i always debate using words people might not understand. Just in case, ogle means "to look at with amorous intentions")
-You're such a perv!
-I WASN'T STARING!!
-What the hell's happened to your personality, anyway!?
below: I don't know what you're talking about!
-Be still...just stay inside my CURE zone
03
-I'm sure you know what Van's capable of
-So relax, you're in good hands
-Kyle
-Ngh~~~!! AGEHA! It's been like, ages!!
smaller: GNFGH!
-It's so awesome to see you again!
-Kyle, knock it off!!
-Whoops, my bad!
-M-my ribs...
04
-Well it sure is...good to see you too
-To see you guys alive, in this world...
-all grown up...!
-I can imagine, you must've had it rough
-All grown up...
-YOU HAVE NO IDEA~~!!
-Ageha-san!!
-OWOW
05 can I get a hug, too?
-Ageha-san!
-I never thought...I'd see you again...
-M-Mffgh?! (T/N - it says marie, yeah, but hey...just embellishing it)
-Hey! I hate to interrupt the reunion, but
-Eh!? U-uh...
-I hope you remember YOU'RE driving this thing!
-We're faaaaaalling!!
-A-Ah!! S-sorry!!!
06
-We're almost to the "Root"
-our hideout
07
-You sure we weren't followed? Some Tavoo might spot us!
-It doesn't matter if they do. This is just the entrance, anyway
-This is the 7th of 10 different entrances we've established
-Try as they might, no Tavoo will be able to get inside the "Root"
08
-TRICK ROOM
-Take it from here, please!
09
-Welcome to our secret base, Ageha!
-This is our base of operations, "Tenju's Root" (t/n - tenjuin's name contains tenju, which lit. is heaven's tree, perhaps a towering tree (i envision a sequoia tree(?)). That's why root is fitting, since the base is underground.)
-We've got someone critically injured! Can you ready a stretcher, please?
10
-Looks like everything worked out. I'll ditch that rock someplace else outside
-Thanks for the help!
-I doubt they'll catch on, but just to be safe, let's not use the Theta gate for a while
---Oh, that's right. Shao's group made it back a while ago.
-Woah-hoho! It's totally healed!!
-It'll be pretty hard to get around at first
-So be aware it takes some time to adjust to
-Woa--
-As for this guy here...
-I'm going to need more time
11
-We ain't the only ones livin' down here
12
-Ever since the WISE destroyed the world during their "Day of Rebirth" back then,
-There are 32 other survivors besides us who've been living down here
-There were a whole lot more before, but...some left to find a better place to live, while others gave up on living altogether...
-All sorts of stuff happened these past 8 1/2 years, leaving only a third of us
-There are even kids who were born here
-They don't even know what the surface looks like (t/n - translated this way for flavor. original line is "all they know is that the surface is 'scary'")
-How'd you manage to get a place like this, anyway?
13
-We're in Izu, right below The Elmore General Hospital, "Heaven's Tree" (t/n - ten no ki, or also the same kanji used in tenju. now you see why i didn't trans the hideout as "heavenly tree's root", sounds craptastic in english.)
-This is the underground portion of that hospital me and you were treated, remember?
-Woah...you're kidding me!?
-With cooperation from the government, the Elmore foundation developed this emergency shelter, "Tenju's Root"!
-Granny basically used all of her connections with the geezers in politics to construct this thing!
14
-Thanks to that, we've got medical care, essential goods and supplies,
-and even pure water to drink
-And it was 5 years ago that we started cultivating food with artificial illumination
-You've even got electricity down here!
-Yeah, well, I don't really know the details. Ask Shao about it
-Now it's your turn, Ageha
-Tell me, what've you been up to all this time? We wanna hear it from your own mouth!
15
-Right, Marie?
-Y-yeah...
-...wait, am I even allowed to!? The stuff about the calling card, and arriving from 10 years in the past...
-Nah...best not to risk it. But, it looks like the kids have some kinda idea what's going on...
-Hold up!! Didn't I just mention the Declaration of War by accident...?
flashback:
-W-why are you guys here!? I mean...what about the "Declaration of War"!?
-...ah, so you're already aware of that day too
---wait a minute...but that's already the past to these guys...
-Does that mean it's okay to tell them...?
16 LOL author blows past that question!
-Amamiya...!!
-They're gone...! Asaga-kun...Oboro-san...!!
17
-Eh!?
-They're...dead...
-THAT CAN'T BE...!!
-You don't know that for a fact, child
-Therefore, you musn't abandon all hope
18 PROFESSOR E!
-Granny!!
-I could hardly believe it when you two, who were supposed to be dead for 10 years, appeared in my visions...
-But it sure's a relief to see I'm not going senile yet!
right: Eh? But...the plane accident...?
left: Wait, I was sure Granny was...
-In 2008? July? ...an incident at Narita airport, you say?
19
-Perhaps he's referring to your heart attack? The plane was forced to return just before takeoff...
-Oh, NOW I remember! That blasted luggage thief!!
-Some numskull made off with my baggage, and after that I lost my cardiac medications!!
-I was nearly killed by that low-life!
-Yes, grandmother, but remember that allowed them to discover a critical engine problem and suspended the flight
white: Ageha's actions saved Elmore's life after all!!
bubble: Enough with that trivial matter! ...we have more important things to discuss!
CALL.67/END
NOT AGAIN!?!?! CLIFFHANGER OH NOES....
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Lol
When the scanlation groups have their own raw providers, they usually send the raw to the translator much before they post it (if they post it, because FH posts the raws for Eyeshield, but Binktopia doesn't post their Psyren raws...).
Take it up with him.
Besides... it's not like you have to wait 5 days for the raw to come out. We get it a few hours earlier than when Vic posts it. By then, you have the translation and the raw out at the same time. QQ
Given the new spirit of MH and supporting the growth of translators, I read through the TL and decided to post some little fixes I thought should be made. These are just suggestions which I thought would help the dialogue flow better, and apparently Binktopia will be doing this weekly from now on...
Suggestions have been placed in bold brackets <>
From the summary:
"The group <would have been> wiped out, had it not been for their unexpected saviors, the grown-up children of Elmore Wood!" -This was the correction I thought would keep the most amount of original translation text intact, an alternative was
"The group <was> nearly wiped out, <but avoided destruction thanks to> their unexpected saviors, the grown-up children of Elmore Wood!" - As you can see, much more drastic change but I think it captures the spirit of the message well.
Page 02
-You're such a perv!
-I <AM> NOT! -Present tense, should be am.
Page 07
-You sure we weren't followed? Some Tavoo might spot us!
-It doesn't matter if they <do>. This is just the entrance, anyway - "are" doesn't make sense, it would make sense if the line before said "Some Tavoo might be following us"
-This is the 7th <deleted 'out'> of 10 different entrances we've established - The out just doesn't seem necessary from my point of view, it's really more of a stylistic flow thing than a grammatical issue.
-Try as they might, no Tavoo will be able to get inside the "Root" -This sentence seems a little awkward but I think it's fine.
Page 09
-Welcome <to the> secret base, Ageha! - Sentence doesn't make sense without the addition. -_-
Page 10
-So be aware it takes some time to adjust to <-- Something doesn’t seem right
Page 12
-There <are> 32 other survivors besides us who've been living down here -"32 survivors" is a plural subject.
-There <are> even kids who were born here - Once again, plural.
Page 13
-This is the underground portion of that hospital you and <I> were treated <at>, remember? - It's "you and I" not "you and me" and the addition of "at" gives location.
-Granny basically used all <of> her connections with the geezers in politics to construct this thing! - Not 100% sure if this is necessary but I think it makes it better.
Page 14
-Tell me, what've you been up to all this time? We wanna hear it from your <deleted 'own'> mouth! - "Your own mouth" seems redundant.
Page 15
-Nah...best not to risk it. But, it looks like the kids have some kinda idea <of> what's going on...
Thanks!
And thanks AscE for taking the time to point out the interesting points.
Nice idea.
Accepted all your critiques save two:
-own mouth kept because that is both the literal reading in the raw and lends extra emphasis (kyle is happy to see ageha in person, stressing this fact)
-Is not "kinda" an abbreviation for "kind of"? thus, a second of is redundant.