Gag Manga Biyori 170

01
top right: D'artagnan
bold: Here comes an incredible tale on the power of friendship!

next to top left, bold line - Title by: masuda kousuke

biggest letters: The three musketeers
tiny: title: masuda kousuke

left middle, non-bold paragraph:
The setting is 17th century France.
This is a story about the the young man from Gascony, D'artagnan, and his quest to become a Musketeer with the help of his friends Athos, Porthos, and Aramis

sign: Musketeer Mansion (now with separate baths and toilets)
bubble: Good morning, gentlemen

box: Athos
bubble: What great weather! A fine day to train our swords!

-Mm. I've been getting a bit rusty lately
box: Porthos

-Oh I know!
-Let's go search for white truffles!!
box: Chotos

02
-What are you saying?!
-Today's a perfect day for training!
box: d'Artagnan

-Truffles!?
-They're not only expensive, but extremely hard to find...
-Quit whining
lower bubbles:
-Hey Porthos, do you know these two?
-Nope...excuse me gentlemen, who are you?

-One of the Three Musketeers!
-Chotos!
-There isn't one by that name!!

-There's no Chotos!! Who're you!?
-Chotos!
-Uh, we don't know you either! You in the white hat!!

-Who am I? D'artagman!
-D'artagman!?
-You know, the boy who formed an unbreakable bond of friendship to the three musketeers!
-We don't know a d'artagman...

03
-Of course I know D'artagnan...not d'artagman...
-D'artagMAN!!
-What!? Stop acting like we know you! uh, chotos...?

-The famous musketeers are Athos, Porthos, and Chotos!
-Quit making things up!
-That look in his eyes is creepy!

-The other musketeer is Aramis! (below pic is aramis)
-And our friend is D'artagnan (same, below pic)

-Right, and I'm the partner Chotos!
-And I'm your friend, D'artagman!
-What the hell! This is going nowhere!
-Just leave!

-I dunno...their persistence makes me feel as if we might be wrong...it's strange...
-It's not strange! Pull yourself together, Porthos!
-They're complete strangers no matter how you cut it!

-But...if you just change the hair...and the face...they look the same!
-It could be we've learned the wrong names all along
-Snap out of it! Am I going to have to hold my own here!?

-Damn...who are these people! why are they trying to pass off as our friends?
-Why not just impersonate them with their real names!?
-I don't understand! What should I do!?

-Normally, I would think you should welcome your friends...
-Yeah! I think so too!
-Well I don't!! Posing as friends...faces I don't know...Fine! Since it's come to this...

04
-What are planning to do, Athos?
-Make them fence one another!
-I see, once we observe their skills we'll know immediately if they're real or not
-Besides, WHITE truffles!? They're the rarest!
-Quit whining!

-Listen, if you're the real d'artagnan, then you should be able to defeat that fake Aramis in a flash
-I'm the real d'artagman!
-Okay fine. If you're the real d'artagman, the you should be able to...

-No wait...just how strong is d'artagman...?
-I'm not an Aramis fake! I'm the real Chotos!
-Okay fine, if you're the real chotos, then you should be able to defeat that fake d'artagman in a flash
-I'm the REAL d'artagman!
-Ah...yeah...uh

-I meant the real d'artagman who's posing as the fake d'artagnan
-and the fake aramis is really the real ara...i mean chotos...

-ENOUGH!!

-BEGIN!!
-you're crying...
-C'mon, you fake Aramis!

-Heheheeee~~ I'm gonna gut your entrails!
-I look forward to killing you!
-Chotos is truly frightening!!

05
-You piece of crap, how dare you! But still, if you really want white truffles, you shouldn't be wasting your time here training...
-quit whining!
-d'artagman has a foul mouth too!

-He licked his sword too!!
-What kind of fight is this!? When do both sides lick their swords!?

-Here I GOOOO
-Gross!!

-Take THIS
-OW!!

-Why you little sh--!!
-Y-yeouch!!

06
-THEY'RE NOT USING SWORDS!!!
-what a surprise!

-Hey you two! You're just using your fists!
-No wonder! Since we can't tell anything about their skills, Athos has turned into nothing but a screaming face!

-Now they started biting each other! Oh no, now they can't use swords at all!

-yoaai... (=weak)
-yoaai...!
-Ah! Chotos is saying something!! Is he going to admit defeat?

-shoppai... (=salty, pun)
-This isn't the time to be saying that!!

-yoaai...
-yoaai...
-You don't need to tell us it's salty too!!

-yokkaichi (pun)
-What the heck!?
-Why's he naming an area in the Mie prefecture in the middle of battle!?

-Nghuaa...I have...no regrets
-Me too...no regrets
-Ah!! It's a draw!
-What's with this anti-climactic ending!?
-You two didn't even use swords!

07
-So you figured it out, huh...I'm just an unemployed kid who always looked up to the three musketeers
-I thought that since my name was close to d'artagnan...i could become your close friend too...
-That's what this was all about? Hey!! Your bleeding tremendously!
-That's because...I lost several teeth on that last bite...

-Me too...I'm just an unemployed kid who looked up to the three musketeers...
-I wanted to be one...and since my name was Chotos...I thought...
-Chotos isn't anything like our names!!

-Well, well...this has turned out to be a colossal waste of time
-But surely you realized that the real two would eventually come back here
-Yeah, your story would've never worked then

-Sir D'artagnan? He won't be coming back
-He dashed off after I told him his lover Constance was floating on top of the Seine river...
-Your lies are terrible! ...and you're bleeding terribly

-As for Sir Aramis...when I told him the other three of you went on a journey underground, he ran off half in tears hoping to catch up
-Your lies are extremely cruel as well!

-Aaah...I wanted...to be...a musketeer
-Me to...just for a day ..to live as one...

08
-The sky sure is blue
-Guess it's back to being unemployed...

-Young fools! Just find work that you want to do! Get a job!
-If you can't be a musketeer, surely there's something else you like to do?
-Like to do?
-hmm

-I like truffles...
-Me too...especially white ones
-Even though you're unemployed, you want food worth a fortune!? Are you crazy!?

-Well, whatever...if you like them then why not work hunting for them?
-But can someone like me really find them?
-huh?

-C-could it be?!
-No way!!
-It's not possible!

-This is a dog's...
-I thought it's supposed to smell!
-I guess I'll go get D'artagnan over at the river, while you can follow the trail of tears after Aramis
-Was he really crying that badly!?

09
-The next day
-Yesterday was terrible!

-After searching everywhere I finally found my girlfriend eating tangerines under the kotatsu...
box: d'artagnan
-This country even has kotatsu!?
-I'm glad she was fine...but...she ate tangerine after banana after tangerine!

box: aramis
-If it hadn't been for Athos following my trail of tears on horseback,
-I was just about to travel to the center of the earth!
-and then I would have hung myself in front of everyone...
-Y-you were offended that badly?! how frightening...

-Well, what great weather today!
box: Pikulus
-Why don't we go dig up some potatoes, gentlemen?

-Another one showed up again!?!

-Eh? Who am I? The great musketeer, Pikulus!
-You know, the three musketeers, Athos, Pikulus, and Aramis! *Gnwahrrg!*
-Where is Porthos!? Spit it out!

-Somewhere in the woodlands of Bourgogne
-Where are you, Athos!?
-Calm down!! Your mustache isn't ugly!
-Don't kill yourself, Athos!!

left: The three musketeers are too gullible...
(end of this chapter　although they aren't numbered...?)

10
Exploration to the center of the earth
title: masada kousuke

bubble: Get a move on, you stupid kids!
bold: A mysterious world is about to be revealed!
bubble: You can't call us that! We just came because you live on our block! I'm telling dad!

-Woah...it looks like this tunnel goes underground! Let's do it, you midgets!
-Now it's midgets? You're mean, mister
-Why are you searching underground anyway, mister?

-I have to find the subterranean people!
-Otherwise, who in the world would be friends with a useless old man like me?
-How pitiful!

-No confidence? Why don't you have any confidence at that age?
-Throughout your whole life you haven't found any? What have you been doing!?
-Well...I played a lot of pachinko...

11
-I've never won once
-What!? Then why did you keep trying!
-It helped relieve my stress...I'd just play about $100 a day...
-Stupid old man!

-in the underground nation
-Your highness, we have a problem
-It seems the terrestrials have started searching for us!
-After all this time!? Those stupid dirtbags!
-Poking around, they piss me off!

-But we believe there is a nation even further underground than us
-So since we've sent a search party I guess we have no right to judge those humans...

-Deeper underground...
-Your highness, we have a problem
-The underground nation above us has begun searching for us!
-So they finally figured it out! Those blockheads!
-Search all you want!

-But still, since we too believe that there's a nation even further underground than us,
-We don't have the right to judge them since we sent out our own search party

-Deeper deeper underground
-Your majesty! The nation above ground
-has started searching for us!

-This is bad! Those balls of lard!
-Go ahead and search, you imbeciles!

12
-There's probably no nation deeper down than us
-No, definitely not...If there was anyone who even wanted to try, they must have nothing better to do

-Aw, shucks. Just another dead end...
-I guess there is no country underground
-There isn't, stupid!!
-I'm tired. Time for some pachinko

-Thank you for coming with me, even though I did bribe you 10 bucks each...
-No prob! Bye!

-Go
-go
-gooo!!

-Hiya!!

18番台格言突入 (?? 18th proverb assault ??)
-Congratulations player number 18
-Ah!! This is the first time I won!

-Yess! Here it comes! Today's proverb!
-Finally, can't believe it!

-Hooray!
paper: You can go higher than above
bold: proverb...get!!

(end of this bizarre chapter)

13
big: LET'S GO - 2 PANELS!
bold: Let's "Gag manga biyori" in 2008 as well!
title: masuda kousuke

top left:
Thanks for the meal (gochisousama)

-Thanks for the meal!
-Come on, now, wipe your face before...

-.......it's blood

lower left:
Sumo wrestling

-Ready, ready
-Man, my loincloth is tighter than ever today
-It just about hurts...
-But..

-GO!!
-It's better than being loose!!

lower right:
Duel

-Why won't you take me seriously! You were purposely dodging my face!
-This is a duel!
-There's no fun in winning through a person's weak point...

-You've got 'em right? Cold sores...
-You...you're too kind!!

-end-