Cyborg Grampa-G 18

The series that makes beating up the elderly (by obviously the elderly themselves) fun returns, and this time, G-chan's going into the ramen making business...which means it probably won't last that long.

Vol. 3: G-chan & Gantetsu’s Story of Friendship!
Chapter 18: G-chan Ramen is the Best!

Author Comment:
Everything about Shigeru Hijikata
Height: 175 cm; Weight: 60 kg
Born February 11, 1969 (Showa 44); Mental Age: 80
Originally from Niigata Prefecture; Hobby: Silent Prayer
Special Technique: Drill Attack
Former Life: Probably an old man
Lifeline: Not that long
Things He Hates: Male Hormones
Place He Wants to Visit: 4th Dimension
And he does the 100m in 13 seconds. That’s all.
(TN: Those of you who doubt the truth about Takeshi Obata being Shigeru Hijikata, compare this information to Obata’s, preferably his Wikipedia entry…the truth shall set you free)

5.
Summary of Last Volume (Character Data the Same):
I’m Ka-chan the scarecrow. My creator is the grandpa of the Kaizou family. He became a farmer by, again, personally turning himself into a farming-type cyborg and using his scientific genius to revive grandma. He came to Tokyo aiming to have the world’s greatest agriculture. But, his old enemy Sharekoube plans to take over the world and defeat G-chan, yet somehow gets tangled up, until finally he revived after 66 years the “Senile Kaijuu Oldzilla”, causing a huge riot!! However G-chan gave judgment with his Young Version!!!

7.
Kei: What~~you haven’t cooked the rice~~
Yuu: I’m sorry, I forgot~~
G: HYO—
G: I’m hungry—when I’m hungry, I won’t move anymore and I’ll die--!
Eiichi: Isn’t he full of energy?
Ai: In that case, I’ve heard we can go to a ramen shop nearby.
G: Ramen!?
Eiichi: Ramen occasionally isn’t bad.
G: Yes! Since it’s decided, let’s head out immediately!!
G & Q: Where the heck is this ramen shop!?

8.
Ai: Next door—
Kei: …
G: Hyo--!?
G: This place unexpectedly is on our turf…
Kei: Amazin—it came this way.
Man: Hi!?
G: What’s—going on, old man!
Old Man: This shop is famous for being tasty...here, it’s in this magazine too.
G: Mu!? Ramen critic Shitako Saotome-sensei recommended shop: Chinchinken. And their ramen is delicious!?
(TN: The article name and the caption is the same as the first line. BTW: “Chinchinken” is Japanese is “super-strange house”)
Kei: It’s randomly crowded—we have to wait 30 minutes in line.
G: No way—I’m so hungry I don’t have the power to wait 30 minutes!

9.
G: I’ll suck it in if I enter from here!
Kei: Aren’t you using too much power--!
People: Wha---!? What are you!
G: I am Cyborg G-chan, I’ve come to eat your ramen!!
Shop Owner: What are you!? If you want to eat my ramen, then get in front of the line!!
G: I’m an old man. Feed me!
Q: We’re hungry—
Shop Owner: You—do you know who I am!!
G: !?
Q: Ukya!!
Shop Owner: I’M THE MAN WHO REFINED IN TRAINING IN FRANCE FOR 20 YEARS AND HAS BUILT UP TO THE HIGHEST PEAK OF RANKING IN THE RAMEN WORLD!! I’M A SUPER TOP-GRADE CHEF WHO POSSESS THE POWER TO BE RECOGNIZED EVEN BY RAMEN CRITIC SHITAKO SAOTOME!!

10.
Shop Owner: I’ve obtained many awards and medals!
G: What’s why we came in!
Q: It’s filled up the stupid old man’s nose~~
Shop Owner: Your eyes!
Shop Owner: With that temper, they’ll eat something quickly and get out!
Shop Owner: OK, thanks for waiting.
Ai: Ah, it’s delicious.
Kei: We got noodles and broth too.
Eiichi: This soup is particularly good.
Shop Owner: Hehe, how’s that, my ramen’s flavor?
G: What, this ramen is really hard!
Q: It is~~it’s really retched—
Shop Owner: Wh…what!?
Kei: Du—mmies! If you eat it like that, you don’t get the flavor at—all!
G: Hyo!?
Q: Ukya!?

11.
Shop Owner: Yo—u, how dare you make fun of my ramen—
G: Everyone!! Don’t be tricked by this gutter ramen!!
Q: He—y—this shop shouldn’t have a line~~~
Shop Owner: What!?
G: I can make better than the ramen in this shop!
G: Starting today, my house will open a ramen shop!
Kei: G…G-chan.
Q: Come in, everyone~~
Shop Owner: Wh…what~~!?
Kaizous: You’re being reckless! G-chan!!
G: We’ll form it immediately! Now I’ll send a signal to Gantetsu; when we get home, the house will be modified into a shop!
G: Hello, is this Gantetsu-kun?
Gantetsu: Shi?
G: When we get home, our house will be turned into a Ramen shop! Fine!
Gantetsu: Shi~~!?

12.
IN CINEMASCOPE
Gantetsu: Shi shi shi~~!! (FOR THAT~REASON~~!!)
Subtitle: Natsue Toda (Alias)

13.
Gantetsu: Shi? Shi?
Z: What’s wrong Gantetsu?
Gantetsu: Shi?
Gantetsu: Shi~~shi shi shi. (caption: G-chan Ramen) Shi shi shi~~
Z: Eh---!? Wh…what the~~!
Z: That’s terrible---! Just hold on a bit longer!!
Gantetsu: ?
Z: Eh?
Z: Can’t you pee?
Gantetsu: Shi…

14.
Shop Owner: Fufu…Interesting. Which will be better, your or my shop? Which will have more customers? This is for a match!
Kei: That f**king gramps~~
Ai: We don’t know him…
Kei: What will you do, your opponent’s a pro!
Ai: G-chan, can you make ramen!?
G: That’s not it!
G: Mu, Gantetsu! Did you make the shop?
Gantetsu: SHI SHI SHI--!!
G: Hyo—that’s not cool at all, Gantetsu--!
Kei & Ai: Ah~~our house~~

15.
G: You’ve done it, Gantetsu.
G: OK! Let’s open shop immediately--!!
Girl: The ramen here is delicious.
Ai: Hold on! Do you really want that ramen shop?
Man: Bu…bunny girl!! What a gorgeous ramen shop!
Girl: A~~h, so cool!!
Couple: Enter, enter, enter---!!
Ai: Why do I have to be in this outfit!

16.
G: WELCOME---YOU’VE FINALLY COME!!
Girl: Hi
Q: You can’t escape anymore--!!
Man: !?
Couple: What are you doing!
Man: Eh!? U…m…I’ll have the “Hi no Maru Ramen”.
(TN: “Hi no Maru” is another name for the Japanese flag, literally translates into “the circle of the sun”)
G: Putting in a jumbo umeboshi…here’s your Hi no Maru Ramen!!
(TN: “umeboshi” is a dried plum used in many Japanese cuisine, particularly on top of a bed of rice to emulate the flag of Japan, therefore the joke behind “Hi no Maru Ramen”)
Girl: Then…I’ll…have Hot Dog Ramen…
G: The Hot Dog Ramen!
G: Hyo!? We ran out of hot dogs!

17.
G: Well, Gantetsu! We’ll use you!
G: I don’t remember you raising those dogs!!
G: As punishment, this customer will eat you! Here’s your Hot Dog Ramen!
Girl: So it’s~~~!?
Boys: Hey—mi—ssy, your address and phone…
Ai: Hee hee…I live here.
Shop Owner: Uuh…damn this. That gramps is pulling the customers with sex appeal…
Shop Maker: That bunny girl is fine…
Shop Owner: Watch, gramps! You can’t take this shop…

18.
Customers: HIII~~
Man: Hey hey, what’s going on here! Ah!? The customers of this shop are eating roaches!!
G: Hyo!? Th…that’s!!
G: You~~that’s from that guy next door!
Q: Ukya--!!
Man: Hey! How above giving our money back!
G: You’re fussy!! In that case, I’ll put in a roach motel!!
Man: Hiii!?
G: You’re rude!
Q: It’s tit for tat~~

19.
Shop Owner: Hey, here you go!!
Man: ?
Man: A HAND GRENADE!?
Shop Owner: !?
G: Mission accomplished!
Shop Owner: N…NO THANKS FOR WAITING—GRAMPS--!!
Q: Ukya!
Man: Damn—will we come back here again!
Cook: Wh…what will we do, manager!
Shop Owner: Unununu—
Cook: This is no good.
Shop Owner: Ununuu—

20.
Cook: Uoo—today we’re inviting Shitako Saotome, the ramen critic called the cooking empress…
Shop Owner: !
Shop Owner: Of course…Saotome-sensei is coming real soon. Kuku, I think this will be a good hand for that gramps!
G: What, a taste test!?
Shop Owner: Of—course. It seems the great ramen critic will be here soon. She’ll evaluate which ramen is better.
Shop Owner: The condition is the loser will move out!!
G: That’s what I want!!
Eiichi: Wha—this has gotten terrible.
Kei: G-chan,, can you win against a first-class chef!
G: Shut up!
Shop Owner: Fufu…I’ve caught you, gramps! If this is taste, then I’ll be chosen better. And then my popularity will return.
Cooks: OK—

21.
G: Mu!?
Shop Owner: Welcome!! SHITAKO SAOTOME-SENSEI, RAMEN CRITIC FOR 50 YEARS STRAIGHT! ALSO KNOWN AS: TASTE GRANNY!!
Eiichi: Well well…take a seat here, sensei…
Cook: No no, sit here…
Shitako: My skill is to eat ramen!!
Shitako: I’ll eat the ramen that both of you made. By my honor as gourmet, I will decide this honestly!

22.
Shop Owner: Fufu, please watch, Saotome-sensei! I’ll make my prided special ramen by my own hands.
G: IDIOT! I’LL FIGHT WITH MY FRESH VEGETABLE G-CHAN RAMEN, WITH A VEGETABLE BASE MADE FROM FRESH, HIGH-QUALITY FOOD WITH NO AGRICHEMICALS!
Shop Owner: Start the match!
Kei: Not like that!
Kaizous: G-chan, make the perfect ramen~~cause if you lose, then we’ll be thrown out---!!
Sign: Best in Japan!! G-chan Ramen; Grand Opening Today
Shop Owner: Oooh, watch!
Cooks: Our leader’s can really handle a knife as we thought! (AMAZIN--)
Kei & Ai: Can G-chan compare!! (Gramps)

23.
Kei: Wh…what are you doing---!!
G: Hyo!? I’m making the vegetables for the ramen.
G: Vegetables grown with soul. I’ll put them in the ramen for family………Chinnen the leek, Hanako the carrot…Kacchin the tomato, goodbye.
Kei: Quickly make the ramen.
Shop Owner: Hahaha, stupid gramps, I’m already done—
Kei: G-chan
G: Muu!
Shop Owner: Ha—haha, are you still plowing your field, gramps!!

24.
G: DEADLY HOE CARVING SLASH!! (NUORYAA--!!)
Shop Owner: What is that guy—he’s using a how in place of a carving knife~~~!!
Shop Owner: Because I’ve finished my trick, I won’t hold back the delicious ramen I made!! Here’s the special ramen of Chinchinken!
Shop Owner: It’s known as Smiling King Ramen! The noodles are kneaded precise and the broth too is enough! The eyes are hard boiled egg! The nose is fishcake! There’s miso where there’s a mouth made of an extra-large pork filet!!
People: So tasty—
Eiichi: Wha~~it’s no use, it’s already done~~
Kei: G-chan, hurry, do something~~

25.
G: Here you go!! G-chan’s Special Fresh Vegetable G-Ramen---!!
Eiichi: Uwa—what is that smell—
Kei: That’s not the smell of ramen!!
G: Idiots! This Fresh Vegetable G-Ramen is perfectly nutritious! I pointed in putting in a roach motel in advance to fight the roaches!! I made the noodles out of carrots and through in anything that would bring nutrition such as plenty of fiber, vegetable cores, umeboshi and misozuke!!
(TN: “Misozuke” is a meat that has been preserved by miso)
Kei: Isn’t that consistent in kitchen waste--!!
Eiichi: ……
Shitako: So then, first I shall eat the special ramen of Chinchinken!
Shop Owner: Fufu…

26.
Shop Owner: Hmph.
Shitako: YUCK!!
Shop Owner: Whaat!?
Shop Owner: Th…that’s silly, please eat it again.
Shitako: Yuck!
Shitako: I judge it directly from the feeling on my tongue!!
Show Owner: My…my ramen is!?
G: Next eat G-chan Ramen!
Everyone: Wa~~I can’t take the smell. What is that smell—
Shitako: MUMU, THIS AROMA……!?

27.
Shitako: DELICIOUS
G: Muu!!
Narrator: What was hidden about ramen critic Shitako Saotome was that she was 99 years old and her taste buds were numb due to old age.
Shitako: This match is won by G-chan Ramen!!
G: Of—course!
Kaizous: Really---!!
Shop Owner: My…my ramen was~~~
Cooks: Please hold on.
Shop Owner: I can’t be here anymore~~
Narrator: --and Chinchinken left town…
Kei: He…hey, G-chan Ramen is in the magazine!
Ai: Really—
Kei: It’s that Flavor Granny!
Crowd: I heard the ramen here is tasty. ONE FRESH VEGETABLE G RAMEN—ME TOO
Q: Thanks for coming, everyone in line~~
Eiichi: We don’t know them.
Narrator: Several hours later, they say that all the customers were carried away by ambulance!
Q: Ukya!?

28.
G-CHAN MODIFIED SURGERY COLLECTION
WIND-SPEED GRANNY (MODIFICATION #1)
Data:
Real Name: Sanae Haruna
Age: 79 Years Old
Business: Sells Tobacco
Feature: RUNS AT MACH 5!!

Box: A Word from Her Family
-Mother really had problems walking in her legs and bottom from the years, but now she’s become energetic…Mother has been revived from her mach 5 speed and now delivers the cigarettes.

This is the granny of the tobacco shop who became indebted to the Kaizous when they lived in the country. She was charmed by a bus and saved by G-chan, but she quickly held a deadly wound. Immediately, G-chan performed modification surgery, powering her up to make her run faster than buses so she wouldn’t worry of being charmed by a bus anymore. However, after she moved at Mach 5, which was faster than the bus, she became called Wind-Speed Granny.
(Refer to Comic Vol. 1 for Details)

TN: You know one weird thought about this chapter: the roach motel bit worked when it was first used, but in the final ramen face off, it just felt...a bit unneeded. But I guess that's what happens when you want a running gag to go on for a bit. On the other hand, this chapter had some really good moments (well OK, Ai in a bunny suit makes everything worthwhile, as did Gantetsu's "cinemascope moment") and a really strange but appropriate ending. (moral of the story: never cater to old people and their food choices)