Hell Teacher Nube 27

The interests of gourmet heir Shuichi may not lie in the supernatural...but in something a bit more paranormal. But when he himself has a close encounter, the paranormal may just turn a tad supernatural...

#27: Aliens, Appear in Doumori Town!

69.
SFX: TATATA
Shuichi: Fu, even I can end up doing a thing like dozing off in lessons. I got detention thanks to that and it’s come to be late!
Shuichi: I must go home quickly! A child with good breeding like I can easily become kidnapped!
SFX: FURI

70.
(Title page…A5, B5, G5, G4, D5)

71.
Shuichi: And then, an orange-colored luminous body passed above my head and left high into the heavens once again.
SFX: WAKU WAKU WAKU
Girls: Amaz—ing, Shuichi-kun! Tell us with more details!!
Hiroshi: What? That Shuichi is awfully popular.
Kyouko: It’s because he saw a UFO last night.
Hiroshi: UFO!? He’s stupid: he believes in that childish thing!?
Miki: There can easily be things like aliens and yet—there are ghosts but…
Kyouko: But it’s surprising that Shuichi-kun, the most bratty in our class, would speak about that dream thing.
Shuichi: Fu, what are you saying, ignorant people?
Shuichi: Aliens have already come to Earth!

72.
Shuichi: Look in front! This is the evidence of the Crop Circle! These are landing remains of a UFO that have been discovered in various parts of the world!
(TN: Though “crop circles” are notable evidence of alien landings as called in the English language, they’re known in Japanese as “Mystery Circles” and are more inclusive in this word of any strange landing site for aliens)
Miki: Ah, I know of this: it’s a common natural phenomenon created by a plasma tornado.
Katsuya: There have been many pranks with those due to the buzz afterwards!
(TN: Yeah, Katsuya knows what they’re saying: a lot of crop circles are merely pranks and are obviously not tied to the landing of an alien)
Shuichi: Mu.
Shuichi: Recently, there has been confirmation of a large number of UFOs even in Japan. Starting at Unzen’s Fugendake to a flap (concentration outbreak) at the foot of Fuji, and so on…
(TN: “Unzen” is in reference to the Unzen mountains at the south-west tip of Kyuushu, with Fugendake the largest mountain of the range. However, while “the foot of Fuji” for the most part works as is, but the Japanese term is “Fuji Susono”, with “Susono” both in “foothills” but also could refer to the town of “Susono”, which is at the foothills of Mt. Fuji)
Voice: These fakes? It was misjudgments of meteors!
Shuichi: So then, how about this: a UFO of an Ummo Seijin taken by me in Kyuushuu! It’s a magnificent thing!
(TN: “Ummo Seijin” is a notable and possibly infamous “alien sighting” based on a picture taken by a Japanese tourist in Spain in the mid 1960s, between 1965-1967. The picture, taken around Madrid, involved the sighting of a disc with the kanji of “King” in the center of it, such as the one Shuichi is showing off here)
Hiroshi: That’s an ad balloon for a ramen shop.
Kyouko: It’s a signed ball for that long-ago player Oh.
(TN: Kyouko’s reference is in regards to Sadaharu Oh, a baseball player of Chinese and Japanese lineage who is perhaps one of the most famous players of the Japanese game, most famous for holding the record for most home runs of any players…anywhere in the world!)
Shuichi: Listen seriously, you two!
Shuichi: I’ve entered into “APRO”, the oldest UFO organization in America!
(TN: “APRO” or “Aerial Phenomena Research Organization”, is a UFO-sighting organization notable for using researchers to authorize the existence of extraterrestrial bodies. It was active from 1952…to 1988, which means the group was no longer in existence when the chapter was written in 1994)
Kyouko: The hobbies of the rich.
Miki: He’s a geek, a UFO geek!

73.
Shuichi: If aliens have come, then the history of mankind will greatly change. By way of their over-technology, technology will rapidly progress and the curtain will rise on the space age!
(TN: Note the flagship of “Space Battleship Yamato” in Shuichi’s insane imagination)
Hiroshi: That’s right~~at most I thought that there was a show in the Tokyo Dome and the boom went away in about a year but~~
Sign: GREAT ALIEN (TN: Can’t really read the last kanji)
Hiroshi: If you haven’t emphasized it until now, then show us the picture of the UFO you saw yesterday.
Shuichi: Well, since it was sudden, I hadn’t brought my camera…
Hiroshi: What a fraud…
Kyouko: Let’s go, let’s go.
Shuichi: Hold on, Gentlemen!
Shuichi: Tonight actually I’m planning a channeling meeting that will come to contact the aliens once again.
Sign: TALK TO ALIENS TONIGHT
Hiroshi: Do it alone.
Shuichi: Since it’s for my high-class restauarant…I will be entertaining with the most supreme dinner. Even if I can’t communicate with words, I should communicate with them the heart of a gourmet.
Shuichi: Now if the UFOs don’t come, all of you will have the dinner.
Hiroshi: Yosshaa, I’ll be there.
Miki: Banzai to aliens!

74.
Sign: STAFF OFFICE
Nube: HUH? HELP YOU SUMMON A UFO!?
Shuichi: Of course!
Shuichi: You are a quack spiritualist. I think you could be strong with telepathic abilities. If we’re successful, it will be a historical exploit. You’ll have an honor that’s more than a common teacher who can’t go up as a udatsu deserves!
(TN: An “udatsu” is a small pillar on a beam to support a ridgepole. I guess if you were to have an equivalent in English, then Nube would probably be a “keystone”)
Nube: (to himself) He’s as cheeky as ever~~(out loud) I don’t believe in UFOs!
Shuichi: Ah, Rokurokubi is over there.
(TN: We’ll be learning a bit more about Rokurokubi soon so I won’t go into it here…heck, we may just find out in this volume!)
Nube: Yosshaa, leave it to me with my certain-kill Oni no Te!
Shuichi: You believe in Rokurokubi and not UFOs? (What? Why?)
Nube: But I a—m a spiritualist.
Shuichi: Chie, fine then. I won’t ask you!

75.
Narrator: And so that night, Shuichi’s group gathered on the school roof…
Shuichi: Uwa.
Shuichi: Well, the time has finally come to take a new step in human history. I, as expected, can’t stop being excited!
SFX: WAKU WAKU DOKI DOKI
Shuichi: I’ve prepared the best things for dinner and…GYO
SFX: GATSU GATSU HISHA HISHA
Miki: Yep, delish.
Kyouko: I’ll have some here.
Katsuya: If he had just some beer for after…
Shuichi: WHY DID ALL OF YOU COME HERE~~~!?
Kyouko: Sorry, it was a bit of tasting for poison…
(TN: Kyouko makes mention of a term “dokumi” which is “foretasting” or “tasting for poison”)
Hiroshi: Well, well, they won’t be coming tonight at—any rate!
Shuichi: That isn’t so! As long as we have this…
SFX: SA
Kyouko: That’s Nube’s…
Shuichi: Spirit crystal! It has the power to amplify our thought waves! If we use this, I’m certain a UFO will come!

76.
Shuichi: Now, everyone, pray silently! UFO-san, UFO-san, please come by all means. UFO-san, UFO-san.
Hiroshi: Oh brother…
Narrator: As such, the channeling of Shuichi’s group began…
Narrator: 10 minutes passed
Hiroshi: (to himself) Nothing—we can—do.
Narrator: An hour passed.
SFX: IRA IRA IRA IRA IRA IRA IRA IRA
Hiroshi: Hey…we can’t do this forever.
Kyouko: We came out here for dinner.
Hiroshi: DA—ENOUGH ALREADY—
Shuichi: Y…you!
Kyouko: WE CAN’T KEEP COMPANY WITH YOU ANYMORE!
Kyouko: A—ah, it’s completely cooled down!
Hiroshi: I’ll have a bit of this and a bit of that.
Shuichi: N?
Shuichi: E…everyone! THERE!

77.
SFX: GO
Hiroshi: Eh…!?
Hiroshi: It can’t be…isn’t that a shooting star?
Kyouko: It’s too big…
Shuichi: It’s the same as I saw last night…our telepathy reached them!
Hiroshi: They’ve headed for the back mountains!
Shuichi: Chase after it!
SFX: KASA

78.
Shuichi: Amazing! It’s the moment the crop circle is occurring!
SFX: ZAZAZAZAZA
Kyouko & Miki: Pre—tty.
SFX: WAN WAN WAN
Shuichi: Stray dogs. They’re surprised and are agitated…
SFX: WAN WAN WAN WAN
SFX: WAN WAN WAN | ZUZU…

79.
Shuichi: They’re the race called “Grey”. They’re friendly to humanity.
(TN: Greys are notable as one of the more notable and popular species of aliens, notable for their gray skin and their abductions of humans. According to a notable abduction incident, the aliens are stated as coming from the Zeta Reticuli star system)
Hiroshi: They’re real…
SFX: NYU~~|WAN WAN WAN

80.
SFX: GASHI!
Dog: GYAN!
Shuichi: !!
Dog: KYAIN KYAIN
SFX: PI—
SFX: DOBA
Dog: GYAA
SFX: GABO | ZURU | KYAI~~ | BICHA… | KYA KYA
Shuichi: Cattle mutilation…the internal organs of an animal become research material and harvested. It is approved by the government in America…
(TN: A bit more: cattle mutilation isn’t just the killing of cattle [as well as sheep and horses] but the surgical nature of the mutilation and unexplained matters such as drawing out blood and removing organs)

81.
SFX: ZURU ZOZOZO ZURUZURU KUCHA KUCHA KUCHA KUCHA
Hiroshi: Oh…hey, where would that be research material?
Shuichi: That’s strange…
Kyouko: They’re eating the organs…
Miki: Those are bad-feeling monsters!
Shuichi: It’ll be fine, they’re friendly to humanity…
SFX: BAKI

82.
SFX: BYU! | ZAZA
Kyouko: KYAAA
Shuichi: W…we’re Earthlings. Let’s be friends…
SFX: PI…
SFX: PI---… | SHUUUU
Shuichi: Aah.
Kyouko: UWAA~~~
Hiroshi: RUN AWAY—

83.
Shuichi: Uh…um…I am an Earthling. I am your friend…
SFX: GASA GASA
SFX: BUKI
Shuichi: Ah…ah…that’s…
SFX: PI
Shuichi: UWAAAA

84.
SFX: DOGOOO
Shuichi: TEACHER~~
Nube: Aren’t you bad, Shuichi, in taking the spirit crystal arbitrarily! And further summoning these things…
Hiroshi: The Oni no Te…did away with them!?
Kyouko: What exact…were those aliens…?
SFX: VU—
Nube: Mu
Shuichi: The UFO
SFX: SUU
SFX: SHUBA

85.
Nube: Watch—out, it’s a suicide attack—Namu Daiji Daihi Kyuugu Kyuunan…
SFX: ZUBA
Shuichi: Eh!!

86.
Nube: --Yes, they weren’t aliens. They were “Critters”.
Shuichi: Critters!?
Nube: “Levitation Creatures”: Creatures that occur as ether bodies (spirit materials) who live within the atmosphere…in other words, youkai. They fly while splitting and fusing as indefinite shapes. Since the movements of UFOs are closer to animals than machines, it has been said they are questionably these Critters recently.
Shuichi: The point is they’re youkai in the shape of UFOs?
Miki: What, I thought so with their elaborate labor.
Miki: How is this “the curtain raising of the Space Age”; that was funny--! (AHAHA…)
Hiroshi: He…hey…
Miki: Ah…

87.
Shuichi: A…aliens are dummies---…
SFX: PON
Nube: No, you’re throwing away your own dreams with this sort of thing.
Nube: It was just an unexpected failure this time. I’m sure that real aliens are somewhere for certain.
Shuichi: TEACHER.
Nube: Because there are many stars like this.
Shuichi: There are…
Shuichi: In spite of it being Nube, he said a good thing.
SFX: GON!
Nube: You’re cheeky after all!

88.
NUBE-SENSEI’S GREAT YOUKAI ENCYCLOPEDIA

21. Aliens

There is a work called “Roadside Picnic”, a SF novel by the brothers A&B Strugatsky. (Since it was made into a movie with the title “Stalker” by the director Tarkofsky, there may be many people who know of this. But then, the novel and the film are extremely different…)

The subjects for this are that aliens come to Earth suddenly one day. And then they did something that wasn’t understood by Earthlings and quickly go home. Here again it was filled with things that weren’t understood for some reason. The story says that there came to be uproar throughout the world as they said what exactly it was. In an interesting section of the actual novel is the scene of the activities of the guides (called “Stalkers”) of the landing remains (Zones), but its best if you actually read it.

By the way: why the aliens had come to Earth was, in truth, simply just to go on a picnic. Since they were casually on our planet and it wasn’t for an invasion purpose or for friendship at all, they had a bit of a visit and held a party. Since they seemed like creatures that walked on two legs somehow, but didn’t think of themselves as similar high-grade creatures as ourselves, they weren’t aware of seeking something at all. It was the exact same as a human talking a walk and not realizing at all they’ve stepped on an ant. And thus, when the party was over, they threw away their trash and left. This trash wasn’t thought of at all as quite dangerous objects to the creatures that lived there.

In truth, this is extremely terrible. For example: by the aliens imitating “invaders” and saying “the Earth is under our control” and acknowledging humanity as high-grade creatures, there would be room for discussion if they insisted. However, if they were aliens who only thought of the existence of humanity in the standard of bugs or bacteria without searching for them…it’s extremely scary. A partner who doesn’t consult for mutual understanding is nothing but scary. This sort of point of view was drawn in “Aliens, Appear in Doumori Town!”, but it wasn’t quite understood by all of you…that is a tad disappointing but…

(TN: “Roadside Picnic” (Пикник на обочине or Piknik na obochine in Romanized Russian), was written by Arkady and Boris Stugatsky in 1972. Since I doubt I did a good job with the translation, I’ll give a bit more of an explanation here: basically aliens landed in six areas, unknown in arrival and unknown in departure for a brief period. These areas that ended up being landed in by the aliens became “zones” where strange phenomenon would occur and weird objects [the trash left by these aliens] were left behind which were completely dangerous to the humans who tried to harness them. The “Stalkers” mentioned above [and which ended up being the name of the 1979 film by Andrei Tartofsky], are people who run within these dangerous Zones to gather the alien artifacts)

TN: So...did anyone really get that meaning the authors said at the end in the chapter? Listen, I believe somehow that "Roadside Picnic" is a fascinating and incredible concept but...the chapter sort of shows that it really isn't reflected by the story that was told. I mean look at what we have:

-What was intended: Shuichi summons aliens, they turn out to have no care in humans whatsoever and we pay the consequences.
-What we got: Shuichi summons aliens...they turn out to act like aliens while eating dog intestines, then decide to make him dinner...until Nube reveals they were youkai all along.

I think the problem is trying to depict a concept of aliens in a series based around supernatural and spiritual phenomenon. We did get that through the "Critters" that ended up being the true identity of the aliens...but they never really explained why the Critters decided to take on Shuichi's concepts of aliens. Maybe it has something to do with them picking up his signal from Nube's crystal, but it isn't quite as clear as it was made out to be. Meanwhile, while this was better than his first appearance, Shuichi just isn't growing on me at all as a character and I'm more interested in the interactions with Hiroshi and Miki than I am in him being a main character. Sure the whole alien and paranormal interest tries to add something but it just ended up making the chapter a mess in the end especially with the attempt at making the aliens like "Roadside Picnic". There probably is a way to make it seem more like that story...but I guess that's not for me to say how.