Hell Teacher Nube 48

With everything they've learned and been through, 5-3 has got a nice grip to show off a bit on their youkai love. But when some mean intruders decide to contend for real scares, Nube may just need to bring back a few old friends...

#48: The Great Youkai Gathering!

127.
Policeman: Here was a highway long ago.
Policeman: Here…there’s a large stone over there. It was a place where travelers sat down and rested. Spirits appear every night over there and threaten the passer-bys…
SFX: HOOOO
Policeman: !

128.
Policeman: He…hey they appeared! Pl…please hurry and exorcise them!
Nube: They seem like long-ago travelers but…
Nube: They aren’t spirits.
SFX: ZA
Policeman: Eh?
Nube: These are the memories of the stone.
SFX: SU | FU
Nube: Memories remain in objects, particularly in an old stone like this. Spiritualists make apparitions of people’s property well on TV and correctly guess the owner. Similar to that, the stone can regenerate memories like a tape recorder.
Policeman: Right…
Narrator: The memories of a stone: this strange phenomenon will be greatly helpful this time…
Nube: That is all.

129.
SFX: DON DON
Top Sign: FOUNDING COMMEMORATION FESTIVAL
Right Sign: DOUMORI ELEMENTARY FOUNDING COMMEMORATION FESTIVAL

130.
Narrator: Today is Doumori Elementary’s Founding Commemoration Day. On this day, there occurs a founding commemoration festival with the combined planning of students and teachers.
SFX: DO—N PAN
Signs: (right to left): CREPES | TAKOYAKI (200 YEN)
Principal: Hmm, these are magnificent programs that every class devoted to by their schemes!
Nube: Even in all of Japan, this is done just here—huh.
Sign: 5-1’S LIFE OF PLASMA CLASSROOM
Principal: Well…and Nueno-kun’s class…is
Principal: A haunted house—this is the only—thing you’d do after all—with no talents—no performance—nothing you can do.
(TN: “Haunted House” in Japanese is “Obake Yashiki”, with “obake” as “monster” and “yashiki” as “mansion”, thus literally translating into a “monster mansion”)
Sign: 5-3’S HAUNTED HOUSE | ENTRANCE
Nube: That guy is bad.
Nube: Haha…however, it’s pre-eminent in reality. However it’s hitched, you’ll see the real deal and it will look good in your eyes.
SFX: KARA…

131.
Kyouko: WELCOME TO THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF NUBE’S CLASS~~~
SFX: PU

132.
Principal; GYAHAHAHAHA EHEEHEEHEE FUHEHEHE
Nube: Y…you’re kidding~~
SFX: BATA BATA BATA | BAN BAN BAN | MUKKA
Nube: I…I always see the real deal with all of you. With this—work.
Hiroshi: I don’t have the ability to study~~
Kyouko: What! Excuse us! We eagerly did it together and yet!
Miki: Right—right—in spite of using eyebrows that are like Prime Minister Murayama!
(TN: Miki is referring to Tomiichi Murayama, the Japanese prime minister at the time of this chapter’s publishing. He was the ruler in Japan between June, 1994 and January, 1996, mostly notable as the Prime Minister who apologized for Japan’s WWII atrocities during the 50th anniversary celebration of the war’s end in 1995)
Katsuya: If you’re complaining, then send out real monsters.
Hiroshi: Do…don’t speak stupidly. Shouldn’t we be using real monsters?
SFX: BU—BU—
Nube: Oh, wasn’t this Zashiki Warashi made well?
Makoto: I’m not wearing makeup!
Kyouko: Really, enough!
SFX: BUTSU BUTSU…
Hiroshi: In spite—of not getting a decent budget.
Voice: He he he……
SFX: ZA

133.
Bully: Hey, look, they’re doing something interesting--!
Glasses Bully: Heh, those grade schoolers~~
Bully: They’re brazenly putting on heirs with a school festival.
Pomp Bully: Ora ora~~
SFX: DOKA
Students: Kya~~~
Ritsuko: What are you all doing? Please look at this quietly!!
Pomp Bully: Uoo~~a nice woman! Let’s touch her! Let’s strip her!
Ritsuko: KYA~~ (out loud) That’s all my use has been recently!
Glasses Bully: Mi~~ssie, get me some sake~~
Bully: Oh

134.
Bully: Look, a haunted house.
Pomp Bully: Isn’t that interesting? (Kukuku…)
Bully: Hey, is this scary?
Makoto: Yes, ah, I think it’s scary.
Bully: Really? Thanks.
Bully: If this isn’t scarry, then we’ll get violent~~
Glasses Bully: Ke, this was made cheaply!!
Kyouko: U~~ra~~
SFX: DORO DORO DORO…
Bully: URAAA!
SFX: GIRO

135.
Kyouko: Kyaaaa~~~
SFX: BAKI BAKI DOTE
Bully: You were scowling at me. You’re 10 years too soon…ke
Bully: ORA ORA ORA ORA! This isn’t scary at—all!!
Girls: KYAAAAA~~~!
Miki: Wa—all—of you, are you being stupid~~!
Hiroshi: Hey, you, stop that!!
Hiroshi: This was made with the eagerness of a lifetime!! Don’t go breaking it!!
Bully: Shut it—you should pay me 50 yen. I’m the customer, the customer!
Bully: You didn’t have the money since it’s so cheap! If that’s mortifying, then show me one that’s much more real and seriously scare us!

136.
SFX: BORO
Nube: ……!
Students: E—N E—N | GUSUN GUSUN
Principal: Are they still in the school? I’ll contact the high school immediately and call the teacher.
Hiroshi: We’re sorry…we can’t win against high schoolers.
Kyouko: We stayed until late every day and made this and yet~~
Katsuya: This is mortifying~~
Akira: Mortifying~~
Student 1: There’s…nothing we can do, teacher; we’re closing the shop.
Student 2: Let’s clean this up…
Nube: No.
Nube: Did they…say they wanted to appear monsters that seem much more real? And they seemed to say they want to be seriously scared?

137.
Nube: Then shouldn’t we answer their expectations……! From here, we’ll have a real Haunted House of Nube’s Class.
Bully: Heey! Get us sake, sake--!
Sign: 5-2: (CABARET) RITSUKO’S SHOP
Ritsuko: NOO~~
Zashiki Warashi: Giggle giggle giggle…

138.
Bully: Wh…what is that? Is it Zashiki Warashi…?
Glasses Bully: It’s transparent…
SFX: TATATA…
SFX: FU
Voice: Customers~~
Bully: Wa
Pomp Bully: Ah—it’s that haunted house from earlier.
Bully: What do you want now?
Hiroshi: Please come, since we’re having a remodeled grand opening.
Katsuya: We have quality that seems quite real.
Pomp Bully: About that, what—are you planning to do if it’s not scary?
Bully: Will we destroy it again—
Katsuya: You won’t go doing that this time.
SFX: SHARI SHARI SHARI

139.
“Voice”: UNFORGIVABLE…CRIMINALS WILL BE BEHEADED~~
SFX: SHARI SHARI SHARI
Bully: Huh--? What exactly is this?
Sign: HATAMONBA RUINS
“Voice”: UNFORGIVABLE
Hatamonba Youkai; CUT OFF YOUR HEAD, HEAD HEAD---!
SFX: SHARI SHARI | SHAAAAA
Bully: UWAAAAA
Bully: Wh…what was that!!
Glasses Bully: How is that moving?
“Voice”: IT WON’T OPEN—
Sign: BATHROOM

140.
Hanako: IT WON’T OPEEEN~~
SFX: GIIIIII…
Bullies: WAAAAA!! HA…HANAKO-SAN~~~
Hiroshi: It’s too late even to repent~~Nube has summoned the real things. You can’t leave even by fainting anymore—
Bully: Wh…what?
Nube: Kukukukuku…
Bully: That brat—you’re lying—hey you, wait~~!!

141.
SFX: BOTA BOTA
Kyouko’s Doppelganger: Don’t go mocking Nube’s Class. Live and you may not leave from here.
SFX: OOOOOOH
Bullies: DOWAAAAAA, TH…THE RED CLOAK~~!!
(TN: Yeah…remember that “A” used the “Red Cloak” Model)
SFX: HI HI HA HA

142.
Anatomy Mannequin: WAIT~~WAIT~~
SFX: DOTA DOTA DOTA
Bullies: WAAAAAAA
Teketeke: DO YOU HAVE LEGS~~
SFX: SHAKA SHAKA SHAKA SHAKA
Bullies: HIIEEEEEE!!
(TN: That bully really should remember Teketeke…well…if it’s the same guy)

143.
SFX: GOGOGOGOGO
Bully: This isn’t a trick, it’s…for real~~!!
Pomp Bully: Uoo~~if this is a dream, wake me up~~!!
Bully: Aooo, miss! We…where’s the exit?
Kuchisake-Onna: I?

144.
Kuchisake-Onna: AM I PRETTY?
SFX: GYAAAAA
Bully: He hehehe—
SFX: HENA HENA | JO~~~ | SHU---SHU---
Nube: What cowards; are they already down?
SFX: SHU~~SHU~~
Nube: This crystal stone has the memories of the spirits we’ve encountered until now.

145.
Nube: What you saw now wasn’t for real. It’s a “Memory Stone” with the memories of this crystal ball. Because this has strong spiritual power, it can play them back vividly…like a video tape.
Kyouko: Thank you, Nube.
Hiroshi: In spite of always having opposition like that, we collaborate on them well.
Nube: Hahahaha: it’s best that we have a scare for once with company like—that--!
Voice: GYAAAA--!!
Nube: Da…damn: we’re surprising even ordinary people!
Voices: HIE~~GYAAAAA
Kyouko: Q…quickly erase them--!

146.
<TERUSUKE>

Creation: It makes good weather with it’s bamboo hat when children pray “good weather for tomorrow”.

Commentary: This grandchild’s idea was drawn by their grandmother. It’s a really charming youkai. In spite of being like this, Nube-sensei is extremely weak to it.
(TN: The model of this "youkai" is a bit like a "teru teru bozu", a device used to stop the rain and bring good weather.)

TN: So...I guess the question for the haunted house isn't "who did Nube use"...it's more "who did Nube not use!?" Considering that nearly every youkai ever encountered from chp. 1 on was in that thing, it was a massive who's-who of the strange, the weird and the scary! But of course, there probably is a major reason behind why we have this huge reunion of every single threat our group ever face: this was the final chapter of Nube's first year! Basically it spells out like this: in a 52-week year, there are 48 Jump issues, mostly due to four "double issues" for holidays (Christmas, New Years, Golden Week, Bon) Thus, with the 48th chapter, that means we're in the final chapter of the first year of Nube! And what better way to celebrate than to scare the pants off some bullies with every single horrible thing that our class has seen this last year! (well...that and Ritsuko-sensei in a waitress outfit...but somehow I had Carol Cleveland in my mind with her main line when scooted away at that one point) So...considering what is in that haunted house, I guess I might as well list what isn't:

1. The WWII ghost (she was an innocent soul trapped beyond her control, understandable)
2. Angel-Sama (Like we need a naked, pig-faced angel running around freaking them out...)
3. The Boys of the 13th Step (My only real guess: Nube still sees good in them and thinks they can be redeemed someday, even if they want to stay bad forever)
4. The Night Snake (that was the transformed Shugorei of another person, so it was good)
5. The Water/Bathroom Ghost (Yeah...rotting corpses with ghosts emerging in urinals...I think that's what Hanako-san is for)
6. Yukime (Nube is still having massive issues regarding last time considering she nearly killed him for love and the whole thing of actually saving her life as a kid even though she's a yukionna...besides, I think those losers would enjoy having her there)
7. The Ghost of the Locker Room (Nube wasn't there)
8. The cannibalistic Mona Lisa (Freaky killer paintings? Do we want them that scared?)
9. Jimenken (A sad case with the guy redeemed ultimately)
10. Ushi no Koku Shrine Visitor (Remember Nube's words: it never happened)
11. Ghost of the Old Campus (blown to bits by Ootsuki-sensei)
12. Corpse of 20 Years Ago (not really a ghost, even with supernatural control of the notebook Makoto found)
13. The Hiyoku Crows (Innocent merrymakers who fool with love, no real purpose in there)
14. The Mirror Demon (And what would he do...make them look old?)
15. Ghost of the 4th Lane (He just wanted a swim)
16. The Tanuki (OH NO...NOT AFTER LAST TIME!!!)
17. The Evil Piano Teacher (Mostly just a ghost bound to a ghost...besides, Ootsuki-sensei blew it up)
18. Tree-Climbing Ghost (Nube wasn't around)

That pretty much covered all of them. So I guess you can have a shoddy old haunted house and make it scary after all. So until next time...

(suddenly gets a paper in his hand)

Oops, I got something here that pretty much has to be read right now...

Nueno-sensei: I did not give you any permission to use my likeness in some stupid haunted house. As soon as I finish my research on the human condition (and figure out a way to make the Human Transformation Jutsu work), I'm going to burn you for pulling this stunt. Be prepared.

Adios
Tamamo

Well...um...with that said, see you next time.