Hell Teacher Nube 58

Material wealth: while not a solver of any problems, sometimes having things gives you a sense of status (or a chance to pick up girls). In Nube's case, he may finally obtain something of really high value...with a really high price!

#58: Nube, Buy a Porsche

147.
Magazine Article:
-Top: Weekly Nanpa Magazine (Nov. 3rd Issue)
(TN: “Nanpa” is “Skirt-Chaser” or “Flirt”)
-Top-Right: A Man’s Worth is Decided by a Car!
-Caption: The High-Spirited Makura Shou-Sensei, Who Drives a Eunos
(TN: A couple things:
-“Makura Shou” is the writer of “Hell Teacher Nube”
-A “Eunos” is one of three marquees set up by Mazda between 1989 and 1996 for the sale of high-end cars. [the other two are the small-car “Autozam” and the sports-car “Efini”])
-Picture Caption: “Men are their cars after all~~”; Girls College Student A-ko-san
-Bottom-Right: People who don’t own cars AREN’T WELL LIKED

Nube: Mumumu…right! I’m not popular with females because I don’t have a car!? I’ll buy one!!
Caption: Used Car Center
Nube: By the way: my entire fortune today is
Nube: my remaining balance of 50,000 yen…I can only buy a bike…
Nube: Ah~~somehow there isn’t a thing as a cheap car…
SFX: Tobo…

148.
Nube: What~~~!?
Car Caption: Furiously Cheap! Porsche 911 Carrera 2: 50,000 yen
(TN: The Porsche 911 Carrera 2 is a model of the Porsche 964 model; on sale from 1989 to 1994, this Carrera was notable for the availability of an all-wheel drive and automatic transmission [though both optional] as well as the last)

149.
Voice 1: A cursed Porsche~~!?
Voice 2: Seems so.
Katsuya: It was on sale at a used-car center in the next town but it’s possessed by the spirit of its owner who died in an accident and the people who drive it are certain to get in an accident—no one has bought it because it has that rumor and its value has rapidly declined.
Katsuya: Now it’s fifty-thousand yen!
Hiroshi: A…Porsche for fifty-thousand~~
Kyouko: That there is publicity that “it’s got a ghost attached to it”, isn’t it?
Kyouko: Whoever buys that would be quite an idiot or a poor person—(Ahahaha…)

150.
SFX: Gyagyagyagya
Nube: Guwawawawa, it won’t stop!
SFX: Kiki-- | Poka—n | Gyari gyari
Nube: Daaaa~~!
SFX: Burorororo
Nube: Uoo~~!
Nube: It…it stopped at last.
Sign: Garbage
SFX: Shu~~
Katsuya: Nu…Nube.
Kyouko: What’s wrong with that Porsche?
Nube: Well~~I bought it. It was fifty-tho…no, five million.
(TN: The joke probably works better in Japanese: remember that Japanese has a specific counter for “ten-thousand” in “Man”; when Nube fixes his speech, he goes from “5 Man” (fifty-thousand) to “500 Man” (five million), let alone that changing from “5” to “500” keeps it as “five” [except adding “hundred”] while the counter between it is the specific word of “fifty”)
Katsuya: He…hey: it’s that, that.
Hiroshi: Th…the 50,000-yen cursed Porsche.

151.
Nube: Well--!! Don’t you all want a ride!? It’s a Porsche, a Porsche.
Kyouko: N…no, we’re fine. We’ll walk.
Nube: Hoo—right.
Nube: Ritsuko-sensei.
Nube: Well—how about it? Can’t you join me?
SFX: Mu…
Ritsuko: What are you saying! Aren’t you riding with a cute female already!
Nube: Eh?
SFX: Bota…bota… | Ooooooh

152.
Nube: Ah—that girl is my little sister--!!
Ritsuko: Little sister…?
Nube: He…hey, I’ll introduce you to your future big sister.
SFX: Doro~~
Ritsuko: Kyaaaaaa!!
SFX: Kikiki | Gashan | Doko
Nube: Excuse me--!
Kyouko: Amazing: there’s a feeling that it doesn’t have effective handling at all; it’s a cursed car after all.
Nube: Um—so then, any questions—

153.
Hiroshi: Yo—Nube, why did you buy that Porsche?
Miki: Are you scheming to exorcise it, sell it high and make a profit?
Nube: It’s not even possessed by a spirit; it’s an ordinary Porsche.
Nube: Um—since we’re in the middle of class now, I won’t be answering your questions except on your studies!
Voice: Eeh—what’s that about--!
Hiroshi: You’re using your spiritual power for your own selfish desires—
SFX: Boo—boo—boo—
Kyouko: Right—we misjudged you!
Katsuya: You’re not successful in exorcisms for self-interest--!

154.
SFX: Pou
Kyouko: What are they talking about?
Hiroshi: Well, that’s because the Oni no Te can directly correspond with a spirit.
Kyouko: But those eyes of Nube are extremely serious. I really didn’t think he’d do it for wanting a car of his own but
Kyouko: Nube, what’s the situation for that spirit?
SFX: Gasa
Nube: You two…

155.
Nube: This car is a thing of a good-relation couple who should have gotten married in a short while.
Nube: In the middle of driving, the shy boyfriend casually gave her a ring but
Nube: While doing it, they both had instantly died. The boyfriend seemed to rest in peace, but the girl didn’t have the long-awaited ring that she should have received the moment of the accident.
Nube: With no face to join with him in that world, she was left behind as a Jibakurei in this car.

156.
Kyouko: But will she rest in peace if you find the ring? Did you search for it?
Nube: Yes…but this is a tale that was already 5 years ago…can we find it or not even if I search for it?
Hiroshi: But will that Porsche continue to cause accidents as long as she isn’t resting in peace!?
Nube: No, I have an idea…don’t concern yourself with the exorcism this time. I’m doing this alone.
Caption: After-School
SFX: Dododododododododododododododo

157.
Nube: Well, let’s go—Namusan!!
SFX: Dodododododododo
SFX: Ga
SFX: Gyagyagyagya

158.
SFX: Vaaaaa
Nube: Ku…what the heck; this handling isn’t effective as said…As…as is, it truly is dangerous!
Kyouko: Wh…why were we riding to here?
Hiroshi: We’re riding with our worry, but it’s better if we stop this after all…
Kyouko: This can’t be: this is his method for resting the spirit in peace...
SFX: Ha

159.
Kyouko: No…I’m certain it is!
SFX: Nita—
Kyouko: That spirit is drawing in strangers without resting in peace with her sadness of not finding her ring. By harmonizing with the feelings of the woman now without her ring.
SFX: Zuzuzuzuzu
Kyouko: She’ll rage to her heart’s content…that’s the only thing.

160.
Kyouko: With a rampaging car manipulated by the ghost, the woman will run it until it’s she’s satisfied; that is Nube’s thoughts.
SFX: Kikikiki | Hi~~~hi
Hiroshi: Dummy! If it does that, then it will collide and we’ll die before the spirit is satisfied!
Kyouko: We have no choice! Nube is that sort of person!
SFX: Kira
Kyouko: !!

161.
Kanji: Ki (Fear)
Hiroshi: It won’t stop!!
Kyouko: Wait---!!

162.
Kyouko: It fell beneath the seat. With this, you can rest in peace.
Ghost: Oooh…
Ghost: Thank you. Thank you.

163.
Kyouko: This truly is “it’s dark beneath the lighthouse”. How could it be that it fell within the car.
(TN: The expression that Kyouko uses is “Toudai Moto Kurashi”, which essentially translates as is and essentially has a meaning of “even the obvious places have places where it’s not obvious”, such as a lighthouse which still has areas which are not lit up even with it’s blaring light)
Hiroshi: Well—I didn’t want to die with this young body.
Nube: What have you done…
Kyouko: Eh?
Nube: I made a promise with that ghost: if she’d protect me such as not getting this car in an accident…no, if she helped my driving until I became skilled at driving, then until then…I would find her ring and she would rest in peace…It…it was that and yet…
SFX: Puru puru
Kyouko: Wh…what are you saying?
Nube: I’m poor at driving.
Kyouko: Bu…but, you drove a bus before!? In Vol. 2…
(TN: Yeah…a bit 4th wall there considering that Kyouko pulls a Nube volume out of nowhere)
Hiroshi: But he immediately was substituted in driving with me.
Kyouko: It…it’s a lie, you’re joking.
SFX: Fura—fura—
Hiroshi: So…the dangerous driving of that car is the fault of the spirit……
Nube: That’s why I said it…

164.
Nube: I really am poor at driving. I was helped by that spirit and driving at last.
SFX: Hiku hiku…
SFX: Gogogogogogogo
Kyouko: Hi—Nube, the brake! The brake!!
SFX: Kikikikiki
Hiroshi: That’s the accelerator, fool!
Sign: Danger
Kyouko: Wa—we’re going to crash—

165.
Sign: Danger | Rental Boats
SFX: Dobo—n
Kyouko: Enough—idiot, dummy, you’re the worst man!!
Nube: Aah, the Porsche…
Hiroshi: That guy won’t have a car in his lifetime—huh.

166.
6th Place: YUKIME (YUKIONNA) (2,129 VOTES)
The yukionna who has yearned for Nube since he saved her life. She was going to encase Nube in ice and take him back to her mountain, but she gave that up and now is living in Doumori town. She has short hair but is a cute 16-year old.

-SHE REALLY HATES WEAK MEN! (#49: The Midsummer Yukionna)
-When she gets warm she transforms into a snowman.
-Her powerful freezing power can freeze even the Oni no Te. If she, perhaps was an enemy, Nube may lose…
-Even Nube is overwhelmed by her seduction attack!

TN: So...do you think Nube probably could at least get a boat or something to pull that Porsche out of the river? Yeah he can't drive it anymore and it's essentially going to be sitting on blocks for the rest of it's existence picking up rust but...it's still his Porsche whether it's driving perfectly or a piece of scrap metal! Strangely enough, the concept of Nube having a haunted Porsche was something brought up back in the first pilot, where it for the most part was used to attract the "madonna of the school" (who wasn't Ritsuko) and still screw up. But somehow...it was way funnier here, especially the last few pages after the exorcism was completed and the truth of Nube's driving status (and why he never stayed behind the wheel even of the bus back in vol. 2). The whole thing was just for picking up chicks, so of course he didn't care that it was haunted and of course he was getting along rather well with the ghost girl before Kyouko screwed it up. While this chapter really didn't have too much outside the obvious, it was still a fun ride with an insane ending. We may never really know what Nube was planning with the Porsche (yeah I still say he wanted it for driving, not to just exorcise it and then sell it and make an extra buck), but...whatever it was, it probably just is going to stay drowned in the river now. (BTW: all this talk about cars made me think so much of KochiKame...and yeah, I know I need to get to vol. 3 but I've been busy with all these other projects as of late)