Cyborg Grampa-G 4

Even with their grandfather as a loony cyborg, the Kaizous just wanted to live a normal, ordinary lifestyle amidst malfunctioning weapons and killer scarecrows. For younger son Kei, that means having an ordinary school day...until the day of inspection!

Chapter 4: Class Inspections are Life-and-Death Too!

83.
Kei: Eh--!? Mom caught a cold!? But today is class inspection day.
Kei: I’m finally entering a new school and have my first class inspection, so you must come---!
Yuu: But…
Eiichi: Well didn’t she say it’s impossible? Your mother needs to have a rest!
Kei: So, can you come dad!
Eiichi: Don’t be stupid. I have important company work.
Kei: Then, big sis?
Ai: I have to go to school.
Kei: What~~if none of you come, I’ll go delinquent~~~…
G: Kei!

84.
G: I’ll………
Eiichi: Of course! How about asking your aunt!?
Kei: Ah, that’s cool!
G: I’ll………
Ai: Well, how about the old tobacco lady!?
Kei: Ah, that’s cool!
Eiichi: Huh?
Kei: Uh, I feel sick………
G: You didn’t know that I could easily release agrichemicals when I get angry!

85.
Eiichi: No way—you—never will!!
Kei: I won’t let gramps go to inspection day!!
G: By whatever it takes, I—will be going to the class inspection!!
Sharekoube: Fufufu, of course. G-chan should go to school. And if he does, even if I don’t attack him immediately……today will be the day G-chan’s life will end---!!
G: Hyo!? Was that Sharekoube’s voice now!?
Sharekoube: Ha
Caption: Sharekoube’s Secret Base: G-chan’s House Branch

86.
School: Higashiyamanoshita Elementary
Students: Talk talk rustle rustle
Teacher: Alright! Today is Inspection Day. Since we all have to look normal, we’ll have an unchanged class as always.
Student: Teacher looks different from usual--!
Teacher: Hey
Kei: I…I’m safe…It seems that gramps hasn’t come…
Students: N? What’s that……

87.
Everyone: ……………
G: Am I at class 5-2 of Higashiyamanoshita Elementary!
Teacher: Wh…what are you…
G: I AM THE GRANDFATHER OF KEI KAIZOU: CYBORG GRANDPA G!!!
Kei: F…f**king gramps~~

88.
G: So then, does the teacher have any requests!!
Teacher: Ye…yes…
Teacher: Well then it’s time for arts and crafts. We will be finishing our puppet dolls today.
(TN: The puppet (and the shirt of the kid) are references to the famous children’s manga/anime icon Anpanman)
G: You make these things in this grade school!! I won’t allow it!!
G: OK! I’ll show you how to make an extremely precise modified human!!
Teacher: Ka…Kaizou-san!
Kei: Stop that, grandpa, please stop--!! Run away Takashi-kun---!!!

89.
G: First you cut the head open—
G: Then replace his brain with an electric one without delay.
G: The person won’t even notice it!
Takashi: ?
G: Now I’ll show you the fruits of the modification!!
Takashi: 2,180,520
(TN: Yes, the answer is correct)
G: I’ve handed the materials to all of you! Now, do it to your seatmate!
Teacher: Everyone please st—op!!
Teacher: Ah…it’s already hopeless…
G: Hyo!? Are you alright, teacher!!!
Students: Ah—are you alright, teacher--!?

90.
Sharekoube: Gufufu. G-chan, you don’t even know that I’m hiding in this locker...my chance to cause trouble begins!!
Sharekoube: Gufufu, with this perfect disguise, not even G-chan will realize…becoming a student, I’ll find a chink in G-chan!
G: Muu…
G: We have no choice. Since your teacher has become this—I’ll be leading the class!!
Students: Wa—stupid—Gya—We’re doomed
Kei: Stop—grandpa. By doing this, I’ll be stuck getting embarrassed—
G: THIS WILL BE FINE FOR YOUR PARENTS TOO!

91.
G: So then, solve this problem!!
Students: WE CA~~N’T!
Kei: Can it be done--!!!
Sharekoube: Gahahaha, the chalk G-chan has a super-tiny bomb inside. I created it this morning!!
G: Shut up over there!
Caption: SCIENCE
G: This is nitro-glycerin! With this I’ll show you the way to make dynamite!
Blackboard: How to make dynamite

92.
Sharekoube: Gufufu, I’ve done it…this will blow up G-chan!!
Sharekoube: Fu—my eyes are tired. I need eyedrops…
G: Idiot, that’s nitro!
Sharekoube: Next is phys ed! The grounds are surrounded entirely by mines and electric shock traps! This is the end of G-chan!!
Sharekoube: Ha
G: YOU DUMMY!! HOW COULD YOU BE LATE!! YOUR PUNISHMENT: 5 LAPS AROUND THE GROUNDS!

93.
Sharekoube: Oyo--!!
G: So we’ll start class!
G: Since today is inspection day, I’ve specially prepared a game to give you the sensation of sweat! Your parents can participate too!
Students: Waa---!!
G: The rules are simple. You circle the grounds once while clearing the obstacles at certain points.
Sharekoube: You~~~If that’s what it is, I’ll have to cause a diversion for my only chance to aim for you!
G: It’s called “Triatholon, G-chan Style”!
Kids: WAAAA!!
Kei: OK—G-chan had a good idea!

95.
G: The first barrier!
G: 50-M Field-Tilling Run!!
Sharekoube: This slingshot missle will get G-chan…
G: Watch out for the scarecrow!
G: The second barrier going through that ladder!!
Sharekoube: Fufu, when G-chan is diving, this 100V Electrogun will………
G: There’s a million volts of electricity flowing through!!

96.
G: And the third barrier!!
G: Daikon-pulling contest! Be careful of the rare landmine.
G: Kids these days! Kids these days can’t go through that—How could you already be tired? You haven’t done it! Here’s where it gets interesting!
Mother: Is this what you call a class! Stop it at once!!
Kei: How’s this a game sensation---!!
Sharekoube: That’s right! You’re mean, G-chan!!
Sharekoube: Ha!?
G: Hyo!? You’re Sharekoube!!

97.
Sharekoube: Gahahaha, G-chan! You didn’t know I became a student today of all daysso I could aim and finish you--!! Take this--!
Sharekoube: OGYO---!?
Sharekoube: Gufufu, I’m more stubborn than last time. If that’s where it is, I’ll use my final option!!
G: Hyo!?
Student: Wa—an earthquake—
Sharekoube: Gahahaha, see? This is my reserves!!

98.
G: Hyo--!? How unexpected……
Sharekoube: Gahahaha, I modified it before the kids arrived—a self-propelled armored grade school fort--!!!
G: Hyo--!?
Sharekoube: And you’re my target—

99.
Students: WA—THE SCHOOL IS MOVING--!!
G: YO—U, YOU MONSTER!!!
Sharekoube: Those things are nothing to my large-missile storage gym opposing you--!
G: Hyo--!?
G: MUOOOO!?

100.
Kei: Aah…G-chan!!
Student: Dummy! Kaizou!! If you go now, you’ll die too!
Kei: But G-chan is…G-CHAN IS---!!
Sharekoube: Yes
Sharekoube: I did it—I finally defeated my old enemy G-chan---!!
Banner: CONGRATULATIONS SHAREKOUBE
Kei: Wa—G-cha—n. Don’t die---!!

101.
Sharekoube: OK! Behold the power of world conquerer Sharekoube!
G: Boys…this may be my end……I strained the last of my power saving you and what I’m fighting against is……I am fine with that though my eyelids are burning…
Sharekoube: Gahahaha! What can G-chan do now that he’s turned into merely a senile old man--!!
G: I’ll use my life for this one blow!!
Sharekoube: Where are you going!!
G: Boys, I’ve listened to your meager request! Long ago, there was proof of the one hero who helped out boys……They put up a bronze statue of me! In reality, there was a missile launcher attached to him!!

102.
G: RAGING SENILITY KI—CK
Kei: G-CHAN!! I…I’D DIE BEFORE I BECAME A CYBORG----!!!
Narrator: However, the goddess of victory had not given up on G-chan! Suddenly, that kick that was sent out had added the vibration of senile limbs with the power of a normal kick—the destructive power of the kick amplified increasing its power several ten-fold and damaging the school!!

103.
G: Hyo!?
Sharekoube: Oyoyoyo---!?
Kei: F…F**king gramps……
Teacher: Wha!?

104.
Narrator: That shock made Kei sleep three days and nights—
Voice: GYA—UO~~~!?
Narrator: From that moment, his spirit had already crumbled, having surpassed the extreme—
Narrator: The result made him
Kaizous: KEI!?
Narrator: DELINQUENT!!
Kei: Since I’ve recovered, I’ll be a cool cyborg!!

TN: Well Kei probably called it at the start: he knew he was going to go bad with no one proper supervising him...and of course with G-chan, he's finally done it! (though somehow as you'll see, his "bad side", which sticks around for the rest of the series, looks a lot like Yusuke Urameshi for some reason...and before you say it, "Cyborg Grandpa G" ran at the same time as Togashi's first serialized work "Ten de Showaru Cupid"...which is a fun series in itself that I own entirely and that also needs to be done whether by me or someone else...but is obviously prior to YYH) Sure Kei looks nothing like an 11-year old anymore but I guess that's probably Obata's point...or it's just the sunglasses. Aside from that, the chapter just felt like one weird episode of Loony Toons, with G playing the role of Screwy Squirrel and Sharekoube playing Wile E. Coyote. There were some really funny bits (G trying to make the whole class lobotomize each other, the obstacle course and of course the school mech), but it did feel rather cartoonish even compared to the last chapter. Interestingly this chapter does continue to set up the world and progress it slightly...and the next will do the same where...nah, won't get ahead of myself.