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Sket Dance 143

Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle!

en
+ posted by thewrong as translation on Apr 11, 2011 21:56 | Go to Sket Dance

-> RTS Page for Sket Dance 143

ch 143: Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle!

pg01:

INTRO:
What's this show?!

SIGN:
Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle!

[ TN: A tsukkomi is a jab at something for comedic effect. ]

KANASHIKATA:
Let's begin, the Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle! I'm your host, the one
whose group blind date went poorly yesterday, Kanashikata Takashi!
MOMOKA:
And I'm the assistant that doesn't talk much, Kibitsu Momoka!

KANASHIKATA:
Momotan! I was so disappointed that you didn't come to yesterday's group
blind date! Anyway, aren't we looking forward to seeing celebrities duking
it out in tsukkomi battles?
MOMOKA:
Mmmm, yeah, I guess...
KANASHIKATA:
Okay, we'll introduce the contestants for today!

pg02:

KANASHIKATA:
One of the best in tsukkomi in the Kantou region!
KANASHIKATA:
The MVP in yesterday's group blind date! The Prince of Tsukkomi!
KANASHIKATA:
Komiyama Tsutomu--!!!
SIGN:
Tsukkomi Chief
Komiyama Tsutomu
KOMIYAMA:
Yesterday was a piece of cake.

KANASHIKATA:
And his opponent! / Not a pro, but a total beginner!

KANASHIKATA:
Momotan's recommendation! Her tsukkomi potential is unknown, the Kansai-ben
female high-schooler!
SIGN:
Beginner Female High-Schooler
Onizuka Hime
KANASHIKATA:
Onizuka Hime---!!!

BOSSUN:
Erm, Switch-san... /
What in the world?
BOX:
Dragged to watch a live filming.
SWITCH:
Let me explain.

pg03:

TEXT:
It's a new programme, "Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle!". /
The staff will look for new contestants every week. /
Then Momoka said:

TEXT:
"I know someone who's really good in tsukkomi!"

TEXT:
Then Komiyama rebutted: "No way there's a commoner who's better than a pro".
"Nee-san's really really good!"
"Ridiculous."
"It's not ridiculous!"
"Then bring her here to challenge me."
"It's on!"
And so Himeko was invited on this show.
BOSSUN:
Momoka...

TEXT:
To save Momoka's pride, Himeko agreed to participate. That happened yesterday.
BOSSUN:
I got it... Thanks for the summary.

BOSSUN:
But why a tsukkomi battle?! And who let Himeko on TV again, d'you still
remember that fiasco with the Pelocan commercial?
SWITCH:
I'm worried about that too.

pg04:

KOMIYAMA:
You're so cute when you're nervous <heart>

HIMEKO:
B-Back off!
KOMIYAMA:
And I thought which arrogant brat came to challenge me, kekeke.

KOMIYAMA:
Hahaha, don't think your jokes in school works in a TV show.
KOMIYAMA:
Just try not to make this too awkward, okay?

SFX:
Whew

HIMEKO:
Thanks.
KOMIYAMA:
Huh?

HIMEKO:
For calming me down.
KOMIYAMA:
...

BOSSUN:
Looks like she's fine.
SWITCH:
She's pumped alright.

MOMOKA:
I'll explain the rules. /
Each contestant will earn points for each good tsukkomi. The one with the most
points wins!

pg05:

MOMOKA:
The first game is "Tsukkomi at the TV!". Just give witty comments to
whatever's showing on the monitor and the panel will award points accordingly!
GUY:
It chased her after all!
GUY:
Why did you let her off in the first place!
BOSSUN:
What...?

MOMOKA:
Both of you, on your mark! Nee-san, all the best!
HIMEKO:
Bring it!
KOMIYAMA:
That's favoritism!

KANASHIKATA:
This time it's a documentary about the police!
KOMIYAMA:
Kekeke, this one's not for beginners.
HIMEKO:
Just be natural, just be natural!

KANASHIKATA:
Ready, set...

KANASHIKATA:
Go!

TEXT:
The Police
Under observation for 22 hours/day!

HIMEKO:
Just cover the remaining 2 hours, dammit!
KANASHIKATA:
Onizuka drew first blood just on the title screen!
TV:
Crime never stops in this city. In this 22 hours, let's see what the police
have to deal with.

pg06:

POLICEMAN:
2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!
TV:
Fistfights are common.
POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!

POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!
POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!

POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!
HIMEKO:
How many times is this guy gonna repeat?!
POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 punks are writing in the cost retreat!
KOMIYAMA:
It changed?!

POLICEMAN:
I repeat, two trunks are flying in the Lost repeat!
KOMIYAMA:
That doesn't make sense!
HIMEKO:
Trunks can fly in Lost?!

POLICEMAN:
*open*
HIMEKO:
He ate it?!

KOMIYAMA:
Oi oi! Wait! What did he do?!
HIMEKO:
Who made an edible wireless mic!?
TV:
Some weird man cosplaying as a policeman, yelling on the street was taken
into custody.
HIMEKO:
So he's just some random idiot!

KANASHIKATA:
Both contestants are really into this!
TV:
But before that, he was sent to the hospital to dislodge the mic.
HIMEKO:
So it's not edible?! He's just some random idiot! Oops, I said that before.
BOSSUN:
What's this contest...

pg07:

TV:
A bank robbery occured at 3pm.

TV:
The robber has the manager at gunpoint.

GUY:
Don't move!
GUY:
Or the manager eats a bullet!

MANAGER:
Seriously guys, please don't move!
HIMEKO:
You're the manager?!
KOMIYAMA:
You're the manager?!

HIMEKO:
Then why did you say "the manager" instead of "me"?!
POLICEMAN:
To the criminal: Don't do anything rash! /
Your mother is here with us.
CRIMINAL:
D-Don't lie!

POLICEMAN:
To the criminal: /
I'm not.
CRIMINAL:
R-R-Really..? Then let her say something!

POLICEMAN:
To the criminal: /
I'm passing her the mic.
HIMEKO:
Is the "To the criminal:" bit really necessary?
KANASHIKATA:
Onizuka's really nitpicking here.

pg08:

MORI:
Madam...
KOMIYAMA:
Why Mori?!
[ TN: Mori is a character in a really popular cop drama in Japan. ]
MORI:
Say your son's name. Before you say anything else.
HIMEKO:
Mori's out of character man...

WOMAN:
...

WOMAN:
He's Criminal.
HIMEKO / KOMIYAMA:
She's a fake!

KANASHIKATA:
Aaaaand that's the end! /
It ended with a dual synchro tsukkomi!
BOSSUN:
What's with this show...
KANASHIKATA:
And their points...?

pg09:

KANASHIKATA:
45-40! /
Onizuka-san is somehow in the lead!
HIMEKO:
Yes!

MOMOKA:
Oh yay, Nee-san!

BOSSUN:
Himeko did it!
SWITCH:
Yeah. Her nitpicking must've netted her more points.
BOSSUN:
She'll win if she keeps this up!

SWITCH:
....
SWITCH:
Hmm...
BOSSUN:
?

KOMIYAMA:
D-Dammit! I underestimated this brat! She actually beat me, a professional!
KOMIYAMA:
Am I actually gonna lose?!

KOMIYAMA:
Wait...

TEXT:
It'll be fine. /
I won't lose in the next round. /
Hehehe, watch out, little girl!

pg10:

KANASHIKATA:
Onto the next category, the Two-Man Act! Ogura-san will be your partner,
so do your best for 3 minutes!
OGURA:
Nice to meet you!

BOSSUN:
Huh? What d'you mean, she can't win!

SWITCH:
Yeah, most likely.
BOSSUN:
Why?!

SWITCH:
Himeko's tsukkomi is the everyday situation type. It's perfectly natural
in our normal conversations, but. /
In a professional two-man act, where they stage jokes, she flounders.
SWITCH:
Even though it's technically adlib for this category, it's still really
similar to a pro two-man act. /
This is really bad news for Himeko.

TEXT:
She can't win!
KANASHIKATA:
Starting off with Komiyama-san, go!
KOMIYAMA:
Okay, let's get the show on the road!

pg11:

HIMEKO:
They're really good.
HIMEKO:
I know it's adlib, but it sure doesn't feel like one!
HIMEKO:
I can't do that!

KANASHIKATA:
And Komiyama-san gets...!

KANASHIKATA:
95 points! What a really high score! /
The pro, Komiyama Tsutomu has made an incredible comeback!

pg12:

KANASHIKATA:
Next, we have Onizuka-san! To the stage please!
HIMEKO:
Oh no...

HIMEKO:
I can't do this unless it's with a clumsy person like Bossun!
KANASHIKATA:
Will Onizuka-san be able to match a pro?

SWITCH:
The act just now... The timing was too perfect, even for Komiyama./
That means...
BOSSUN:
Yeah.
BOSSUN:
That bastard...

KOMIYAMA:
Kekeke, it's great that we rehearsed this beforehand.

TEXT:
And that's not the end yet. I'll admit she has skill, so to seal my victory...

OGURA:
Hey, I have an idea!
KANASHIKATA:
Yes, Ogura-san?

KOMIYAMA:
Kekekeke...

pg13:

OGURA:
I was thinking, maybe it's kinda tough for a beginner to work with a pro, you know? /
How about we get a beginner to pair up with her?
KOMIYAMA:
Yes, let a normal person screw it up for her! Kekekeke!

KOMIYAMA:
Nice idea! /
Right?

KANASHIKATA:
Erm...
KANASHIKATA:
A member of the audience?

KOMIYAMA:
Hey, Onizuka-san! You brought some friends, right? Isn't it easier for
you to work with someone you know?

KOMIYAMA:
Say yes, and you're doomed!

HIMEKO:
Member of... /
the audience?

HIMEKO:
Can...
HIMEKO:
Can I really?

pg14:

BOSSUN:
Eh?
KANASHIKATA:
And she picked her classmate, Fujisaki-kun!!!
BOSSUN:
Back up a moment!
HIMEKO:
You, shut up.
BOSSUN:
Wait, why am I on stage?
HIMEKO:
I said, shut up.
BOSSUN:
No, you shut up! I can't do a adlib two-man act, dammit!
HIMEKO:
Just die already.

HIMEKO:
Just say whatever you like, I'll follow up! Got it?!
BOSSUN:
Where did that confidence come from?! Give me some, man!
HIMEKO:
It'll be fine!

HIMEKO:
I know...

HIMEKO:
that if it's you, it'll be fine.

pg15:

BOSSUN:
Okay... / If you say so.

BOSSUN:
I just have to say something appropriate, right?

HIMEKO:
Yeah. / That's right.
TEXT:
I'm sorry, Bossun.

MOMOKA:
What are you planning, Nee-san... /
He gets nervous easily, you know that...

TEXT:
I'm 100% sure that you...

TEXT:
won't be able to say anything interesting at all!

KANASHIKATA:
And so, Team Onizuka, ready, set, go!

HIMEKO:
Hey, Fujisaki-kun. /
You're on TV now, so say hello!

HIMEKO:
Oi, the camera's rolling, so do something!

pg16:

BOSSUN:
....
HIMEKO:
Whatcha being nervous for?!

KOMIYAMA:
Huh?

HIMEKO:
Great, Bossun!
HIMEKO:
Stay like this!

HIMEKO:
Just be stupid, like you always do!
HIMEKO:
What's with you, man! /
Be normal, dude! Normal!
BOSSUN:
Oh... /
N.O.R.M.A.L....
HIMEKO:
How is that normal!?

KOMIYAMA:
W-
KOMIYAMA:
What?

SWITCH:
I see.
SWITCH:
She's playing to her strengths.

pg17:

SWITCH:
Of course. Himeko's best partner is Bossun.

HIMEKO:
Hey, everyone's staring at you!
BOSSUN:
Say something funny!

BOSSUN:
Oh...
BOSSUN:
Funny stuff...!

BOSSUN:
Poop!
HIMEKO:
The only thing that's interesting is your face!

HIMEKO:
Your upper lip's poking out again, man!
BOSSUN:
Poop?
HIMEKO:
Don't say it sounding like "Oh?"! /
And your face is getting weirder, you know?!

HIMEKO:
Wait! Look at your mouth! /
Draw it back, draw it back!

HIMEKO:
I can't even recognise you anymore! Control it, stupid!

HIMEKO:
No, don't compensate by pulling your lower lip out too!

pg18:

KOMIYAMA:
No way...

KANASHIKATA:
And the winner... /
Onizuka Himeko-saaaaaaaan!

HIMEKO:
Yay!!!
KANASHIKATA:
What an unexpected turn of events!

MOMOKA:
Nee-san!
HIMEKO:
Oof.

KANASHIKATA:
A resounding round of applause for the champion, Onizuka!
HIMEKO:
Don't say anything unnecessary next time, okay?
MOMOKA:
Uweeeeh~ I'm sorry, Nee-san!
BOSSUN:
Bweportgh.
SWITCH:
Bossun, you haven't returned to normal?

KANASHIKATA:
Let's have a word with our new champion. /
Are you looking forward to the next episode?
HIMEKO:
Yes!

HIMEKO:
Ehhhhhhh.
HIMEKO:
Hmm?
HIMEKO:
Next episode?

MOMOKA:
Eh? /
Didn't I tell you?
HIMEKO:
?

MOMOKA:
It's a knockout game show.
MOMOKA:
So Nee-san will be facing new contestants starting next week!

KANASHIKATA:
So! /
A word from the champion, please!

KANASHIKATA:
2, 1,
KANASHIKATA:
Action!

KANASHIKATA:
Whatcha being all nervous for!
OUTRO:
Himeko is the No.1 Tsukkomist!

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