Sket Dance
143
Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle!
-> RTS Page for Sket Dance 143
ch 143: Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle!
pg01:
INTRO:
What's this show?!
SIGN:
Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle!
[ TN: A tsukkomi is a jab at something for comedic effect. ]
KANASHIKATA:
Let's begin, the Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle! I'm your host, the one
whose group blind date went poorly yesterday, Kanashikata Takashi!
MOMOKA:
And I'm the assistant that doesn't talk much, Kibitsu Momoka!
KANASHIKATA:
Momotan! I was so disappointed that you didn't come to yesterday's group
blind date! Anyway, aren't we looking forward to seeing celebrities duking
it out in tsukkomi battles?
MOMOKA:
Mmmm, yeah, I guess...
KANASHIKATA:
Okay, we'll introduce the contestants for today!
pg02:
KANASHIKATA:
One of the best in tsukkomi in the Kantou region!
KANASHIKATA:
The MVP in yesterday's group blind date! The Prince of Tsukkomi!
KANASHIKATA:
Komiyama Tsutomu--!!!
SIGN:
Tsukkomi Chief
Komiyama Tsutomu
KOMIYAMA:
Yesterday was a piece of cake.
KANASHIKATA:
And his opponent! / Not a pro, but a total beginner!
KANASHIKATA:
Momotan's recommendation! Her tsukkomi potential is unknown, the Kansai-ben
female high-schooler!
SIGN:
Beginner Female High-Schooler
Onizuka Hime
KANASHIKATA:
Onizuka Hime---!!!
BOSSUN:
Erm, Switch-san... /
What in the world?
BOX:
Dragged to watch a live filming.
SWITCH:
Let me explain.
pg03:
TEXT:
It's a new programme, "Laugh Out Loud Tsukkomi Battle!". /
The staff will look for new contestants every week. /
Then Momoka said:
TEXT:
"I know someone who's really good in tsukkomi!"
TEXT:
Then Komiyama rebutted: "No way there's a commoner who's better than a pro".
"Nee-san's really really good!"
"Ridiculous."
"It's not ridiculous!"
"Then bring her here to challenge me."
"It's on!"
And so Himeko was invited on this show.
BOSSUN:
Momoka...
TEXT:
To save Momoka's pride, Himeko agreed to participate. That happened yesterday.
BOSSUN:
I got it... Thanks for the summary.
BOSSUN:
But why a tsukkomi battle?! And who let Himeko on TV again, d'you still
remember that fiasco with the Pelocan commercial?
SWITCH:
I'm worried about that too.
pg04:
KOMIYAMA:
You're so cute when you're nervous <heart>
HIMEKO:
B-Back off!
KOMIYAMA:
And I thought which arrogant brat came to challenge me, kekeke.
KOMIYAMA:
Hahaha, don't think your jokes in school works in a TV show.
KOMIYAMA:
Just try not to make this too awkward, okay?
SFX:
Whew
HIMEKO:
Thanks.
KOMIYAMA:
Huh?
HIMEKO:
For calming me down.
KOMIYAMA:
...
BOSSUN:
Looks like she's fine.
SWITCH:
She's pumped alright.
MOMOKA:
I'll explain the rules. /
Each contestant will earn points for each good tsukkomi. The one with the most
points wins!
pg05:
MOMOKA:
The first game is "Tsukkomi at the TV!". Just give witty comments to
whatever's showing on the monitor and the panel will award points accordingly!
GUY:
It chased her after all!
GUY:
Why did you let her off in the first place!
BOSSUN:
What...?
MOMOKA:
Both of you, on your mark! Nee-san, all the best!
HIMEKO:
Bring it!
KOMIYAMA:
That's favoritism!
KANASHIKATA:
This time it's a documentary about the police!
KOMIYAMA:
Kekeke, this one's not for beginners.
HIMEKO:
Just be natural, just be natural!
KANASHIKATA:
Ready, set...
KANASHIKATA:
Go!
TEXT:
The Police
Under observation for 22 hours/day!
HIMEKO:
Just cover the remaining 2 hours, dammit!
KANASHIKATA:
Onizuka drew first blood just on the title screen!
TV:
Crime never stops in this city. In this 22 hours, let's see what the police
have to deal with.
pg06:
POLICEMAN:
2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!
TV:
Fistfights are common.
POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!
POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!
POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!
POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 drunks are fighting in the 4th district!
HIMEKO:
How many times is this guy gonna repeat?!
POLICEMAN:
I repeat, 2 punks are writing in the cost retreat!
KOMIYAMA:
It changed?!
POLICEMAN:
I repeat, two trunks are flying in the Lost repeat!
KOMIYAMA:
That doesn't make sense!
HIMEKO:
Trunks can fly in Lost?!
POLICEMAN:
*open*
HIMEKO:
He ate it?!
KOMIYAMA:
Oi oi! Wait! What did he do?!
HIMEKO:
Who made an edible wireless mic!?
TV:
Some weird man cosplaying as a policeman, yelling on the street was taken
into custody.
HIMEKO:
So he's just some random idiot!
KANASHIKATA:
Both contestants are really into this!
TV:
But before that, he was sent to the hospital to dislodge the mic.
HIMEKO:
So it's not edible?! He's just some random idiot! Oops, I said that before.
BOSSUN:
What's this contest...
pg07:
TV:
A bank robbery occured at 3pm.
TV:
The robber has the manager at gunpoint.
GUY:
Don't move!
GUY:
Or the manager eats a bullet!
MANAGER:
Seriously guys, please don't move!
HIMEKO:
You're the manager?!
KOMIYAMA:
You're the manager?!
HIMEKO:
Then why did you say "the manager" instead of "me"?!
POLICEMAN:
To the criminal: Don't do anything rash! /
Your mother is here with us.
CRIMINAL:
D-Don't lie!
POLICEMAN:
To the criminal: /
I'm not.
CRIMINAL:
R-R-Really..? Then let her say something!
POLICEMAN:
To the criminal: /
I'm passing her the mic.
HIMEKO:
Is the "To the criminal:" bit really necessary?
KANASHIKATA:
Onizuka's really nitpicking here.
pg08:
MORI:
Madam...
KOMIYAMA:
Why Mori?!
[ TN: Mori is a character in a really popular cop drama in Japan. ]
MORI:
Say your son's name. Before you say anything else.
HIMEKO:
Mori's out of character man...
WOMAN:
...
WOMAN:
He's Criminal.
HIMEKO / KOMIYAMA:
She's a fake!
KANASHIKATA:
Aaaaand that's the end! /
It ended with a dual synchro tsukkomi!
BOSSUN:
What's with this show...
KANASHIKATA:
And their points...?
pg09:
KANASHIKATA:
45-40! /
Onizuka-san is somehow in the lead!
HIMEKO:
Yes!
MOMOKA:
Oh yay, Nee-san!
BOSSUN:
Himeko did it!
SWITCH:
Yeah. Her nitpicking must've netted her more points.
BOSSUN:
She'll win if she keeps this up!
SWITCH:
....
SWITCH:
Hmm...
BOSSUN:
?
KOMIYAMA:
D-Dammit! I underestimated this brat! She actually beat me, a professional!
KOMIYAMA:
Am I actually gonna lose?!
KOMIYAMA:
Wait...
TEXT:
It'll be fine. /
I won't lose in the next round. /
Hehehe, watch out, little girl!
pg10:
KANASHIKATA:
Onto the next category, the Two-Man Act! Ogura-san will be your partner,
so do your best for 3 minutes!
OGURA:
Nice to meet you!
BOSSUN:
Huh? What d'you mean, she can't win!
SWITCH:
Yeah, most likely.
BOSSUN:
Why?!
SWITCH:
Himeko's tsukkomi is the everyday situation type. It's perfectly natural
in our normal conversations, but. /
In a professional two-man act, where they stage jokes, she flounders.
SWITCH:
Even though it's technically adlib for this category, it's still really
similar to a pro two-man act. /
This is really bad news for Himeko.
TEXT:
She can't win!
KANASHIKATA:
Starting off with Komiyama-san, go!
KOMIYAMA:
Okay, let's get the show on the road!
pg11:
HIMEKO:
They're really good.
HIMEKO:
I know it's adlib, but it sure doesn't feel like one!
HIMEKO:
I can't do that!
KANASHIKATA:
And Komiyama-san gets...!
KANASHIKATA:
95 points! What a really high score! /
The pro, Komiyama Tsutomu has made an incredible comeback!
pg12:
KANASHIKATA:
Next, we have Onizuka-san! To the stage please!
HIMEKO:
Oh no...
HIMEKO:
I can't do this unless it's with a clumsy person like Bossun!
KANASHIKATA:
Will Onizuka-san be able to match a pro?
SWITCH:
The act just now... The timing was too perfect, even for Komiyama./
That means...
BOSSUN:
Yeah.
BOSSUN:
That bastard...
KOMIYAMA:
Kekeke, it's great that we rehearsed this beforehand.
TEXT:
And that's not the end yet. I'll admit she has skill, so to seal my victory...
OGURA:
Hey, I have an idea!
KANASHIKATA:
Yes, Ogura-san?
KOMIYAMA:
Kekekeke...
pg13:
OGURA:
I was thinking, maybe it's kinda tough for a beginner to work with a pro, you know? /
How about we get a beginner to pair up with her?
KOMIYAMA:
Yes, let a normal person screw it up for her! Kekekeke!
KOMIYAMA:
Nice idea! /
Right?
KANASHIKATA:
Erm...
KANASHIKATA:
A member of the audience?
KOMIYAMA:
Hey, Onizuka-san! You brought some friends, right? Isn't it easier for
you to work with someone you know?
KOMIYAMA:
Say yes, and you're doomed!
HIMEKO:
Member of... /
the audience?
HIMEKO:
Can...
HIMEKO:
Can I really?
pg14:
BOSSUN:
Eh?
KANASHIKATA:
And she picked her classmate, Fujisaki-kun!!!
BOSSUN:
Back up a moment!
HIMEKO:
You, shut up.
BOSSUN:
Wait, why am I on stage?
HIMEKO:
I said, shut up.
BOSSUN:
No, you shut up! I can't do a adlib two-man act, dammit!
HIMEKO:
Just die already.
HIMEKO:
Just say whatever you like, I'll follow up! Got it?!
BOSSUN:
Where did that confidence come from?! Give me some, man!
HIMEKO:
It'll be fine!
HIMEKO:
I know...
HIMEKO:
that if it's you, it'll be fine.
pg15:
BOSSUN:
Okay... / If you say so.
BOSSUN:
I just have to say something appropriate, right?
HIMEKO:
Yeah. / That's right.
TEXT:
I'm sorry, Bossun.
MOMOKA:
What are you planning, Nee-san... /
He gets nervous easily, you know that...
TEXT:
I'm 100% sure that you...
TEXT:
won't be able to say anything interesting at all!
KANASHIKATA:
And so, Team Onizuka, ready, set, go!
HIMEKO:
Hey, Fujisaki-kun. /
You're on TV now, so say hello!
HIMEKO:
Oi, the camera's rolling, so do something!
pg16:
BOSSUN:
....
HIMEKO:
Whatcha being nervous for?!
KOMIYAMA:
Huh?
HIMEKO:
Great, Bossun!
HIMEKO:
Stay like this!
HIMEKO:
Just be stupid, like you always do!
HIMEKO:
What's with you, man! /
Be normal, dude! Normal!
BOSSUN:
Oh... /
N.O.R.M.A.L....
HIMEKO:
How is that normal!?
KOMIYAMA:
W-
KOMIYAMA:
What?
SWITCH:
I see.
SWITCH:
She's playing to her strengths.
pg17:
SWITCH:
Of course. Himeko's best partner is Bossun.
HIMEKO:
Hey, everyone's staring at you!
BOSSUN:
Say something funny!
BOSSUN:
Oh...
BOSSUN:
Funny stuff...!
BOSSUN:
Poop!
HIMEKO:
The only thing that's interesting is your face!
HIMEKO:
Your upper lip's poking out again, man!
BOSSUN:
Poop?
HIMEKO:
Don't say it sounding like "Oh?"! /
And your face is getting weirder, you know?!
HIMEKO:
Wait! Look at your mouth! /
Draw it back, draw it back!
HIMEKO:
I can't even recognise you anymore! Control it, stupid!
HIMEKO:
No, don't compensate by pulling your lower lip out too!
pg18:
KOMIYAMA:
No way...
KANASHIKATA:
And the winner... /
Onizuka Himeko-saaaaaaaan!
HIMEKO:
Yay!!!
KANASHIKATA:
What an unexpected turn of events!
MOMOKA:
Nee-san!
HIMEKO:
Oof.
KANASHIKATA:
A resounding round of applause for the champion, Onizuka!
HIMEKO:
Don't say anything unnecessary next time, okay?
MOMOKA:
Uweeeeh~ I'm sorry, Nee-san!
BOSSUN:
Bweportgh.
SWITCH:
Bossun, you haven't returned to normal?
KANASHIKATA:
Let's have a word with our new champion. /
Are you looking forward to the next episode?
HIMEKO:
Yes!
HIMEKO:
Ehhhhhhh.
HIMEKO:
Hmm?
HIMEKO:
Next episode?
MOMOKA:
Eh? /
Didn't I tell you?
HIMEKO:
?
MOMOKA:
It's a knockout game show.
MOMOKA:
So Nee-san will be facing new contestants starting next week!
KANASHIKATA:
So! /
A word from the champion, please!
KANASHIKATA:
2, 1,
KANASHIKATA:
Action!
KANASHIKATA:
Whatcha being all nervous for!
OUTRO:
Himeko is the No.1 Tsukkomist!
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