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Translations: One Piece 901 by cnet128 , Gintama 679 by kewl0210

Gintama 493

There is no heaven above the ugly woman created by the pretty ones.

+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on May 14, 2014 23:15 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 493

I suppose if I shipped...anyone, that I'd probably enjoy this more...but to me Gintama is just one big love fest where anyone and everyone can join in and...

...I'll stop talking now.

Hi wa mata noboru only.

(Side text- No way…not those girls too…)
Tae(?): Sensei…thank you so much.
Until next week.
Kyuubee: How was it Tae-chan?
(Sfx- Haah)
Tae: I expected of course that Yoshiwara’s number one Shamisen player would be able to produce a splendid sound but that was incredible.
I’ll have to do my best. I appreciate you introducing me to her.
Kyuubee: That’s good. I am a bit hesitant about just bringing you here and going Tae-chan, so next week I’ll accompany you and wait as well.
Tae: Oh don’t be silly. There’s no need for that. Tsukuyo-san and her protective flowers are here, and look, there’s even a Gorilla living outside. I’m perfectly safe.
Kyuubee: That’s true. Oh! Since we’re here anyway why not stop by and say hello to Tsukuyo-san…
Tae: Oh my.
What could that smoke there mean?
(Sfx- Zufuooooh *fwooof*)

Dude: Gyaaaaaaah!!
It’s a fiiiiiiiireee!!!
(Sfx- Ooooooooh *roaaaaaaaaaaar*)
Dude: What the hell is this smoke?!
Gintoki: O—oh shit! The Aizen incense…!!
Now there’s a huge cloud of that love drug incense in the air….!!!
If we don’t hurry up and do something, it’s gonna go to hell in a hurry around here!
Tsukuyo: Y—ya’ll get out of here quickly!!
Don’t breathe in any of that smoke!
Sniffin’ it is gonna lead to all kinds of trouble!!
Find a place above the wind current and run!!
Shinpachi, Kagura…I’m sorry but Imma need ya’ll to find some water nearby!
(Sfx- Datsh *dash*)
Shinpachi: Y—yeah!!
Kagura: Pattsan! We have to hurry, yes?!
Shinpachi: Huh? Where’d Gin-san go?
(Sfx- Gararara *clatter*)
Shinpachi: Excuse us!! There’s a fire nearby!!
Could we borrow some wat---

Old lady: So…when are we going to hook up again?
Gintoki: Sorry toots. I’ve got a rule that I never shag the same woman twice.
I can’t go having you get caught up in dreams about me…so just forget us, this, and me.
Old lady: I understand. I’m sorry for being so needy but…
I won’t tell anyone that you weren’t able to get it up. I’ll forget this..
(Sfx- Pan *slam*)
Tsukuyo: Shinpachi. Kagura….where’s the wa—

Shinpachi: Are tears okay?
What did ya’ll see? Tell me!
No—way…no way you ain’t sayin…
Shinpachi: Gin-san’s already…
Gintoki: Hey there my boomerang shaped sweetie…
How about you and me forget the Gate ball, and have a zestful game of billards together?
Shinpachi: Been got…
And he’s everywhere…
Gintoki: Lets take five at that hotel over there, shall we?
Don’t worry ladies. I’m harmless. Just want to give you a nice back massage…
Shinpachi: He’s become a terrible Monster hunter…
(TN- The Kanji reads ‘hot for women’ but the katakana reads ‘monster’. Which is no doubt a reference to the games of the same title.)
(Sfx- Gohh *thok*)
Tsukuyo: ‘The hell ya doin foooool!?
Kagura: Gin-chan. Come back!! That is not Gate ball, but the gate to the demon world, yes?!
Can you still make it back? You can make it back from the gate, yes? Before your instincts are completely withered away!?
Gintoki: Ugh…I—breathed in that smoke…
M—my bad. I’m okay. Thanks to you guys I think I just barely managed to avoid stepping foot in a pretty nasty place…
Shinpachi: Uh no, you’re pretty much barely out!!

Gintoki: Kagura, Tsukuyo…you two have always been so close to me but I never noticed…
How both you ladies are existences that mean everything to me.
How about you two and I go to a place far beyond the child protection act?
Shinpachi: Dear God…
He’s not a ladies man or a lolicon…
He’ll use any method to woo women from the cradle to the grave!!
He’s become a bona fide pervert!!
{No chastity.}
Lesson 493: There is no heaven above the ugly woman created by the pretty ones.

Shinipachi: I thought once you breathed in the love drug that you’re supposed to fall in love with the first person you see right?
(Handwritten- Honeys!!)
Tsukuyo: He probably inhaled so much of tha stuff that his sense of reason has all but flown th’ coop.
If this keeps up, everyone’s gonna end up like him.
(Sfx- Bashaaah *fwaasssh*)
Tsukuyo: I’ll take care of things here. You guys hurry up and ru—
(Sfx- Dodooofhhh *fwoooof*)
Tsukuyo: Shinpachiiii! Kaguraaaa!!

Tsukuyo: Y—you gotta be kiddin me…where’d this smoke come from---
(Sfx- Geho geho *cough cough*)
Tsukuyo: All of Yoshiwara’s covered in smoke..!!
This pink colored smoke is without a doubt tha Aizen incense…!!
What’s going on here?!
Why is this happenin?!
Who’s behind it…?!
(Sfx- Gehoh gehoh *cough cough*)
Tsukuyo: Shinpachi! Kagura!!
Where’d ya….
Kagura: W—we are fine, Tsukky!!
Shinpachi: We breathed in the smoke….
But we’re keeping our eyes shut!!

(Sfx- GOhh *thok*)
Shinpachi: Ah…sor—
{Oh crap….}
(TN- Tsukuyo facepalm makes this whole arc –no matter how it ends, worth it.)

{N—no waaay…Pa—pa-pp-Pattsan is….}
{I mean that Pattsan is…}
{Super coooooooooooollll!!}
(Sfx- Doki doki doki *throb throb throb*)
{Th—this can’t be happening…it’s not like anything changed…}
{Things are still exactly the way I’ve always seen them….}

Kagura: I—I---I’m sorry…It’s just…I…
Shinpachi: N—no! It’s my fault really I…
Kagura: No! I---
I’m sorry for some reason Shinpachi-kun!!!
Shinpachi: W—wait! Wait a minute Kagura!!
Tsukuyo: Wait a minute you two!! Shinpachi!! Kagura!! Come back!
How in the world did this happen..?
I was thinkin’ we could stop it here…
But now the Aizen incense is blowin’ through entire town…
My friends and everyone else have ended up prey to it…
I have to do somethin’…
???: H—hey miss…
What shop do you belong to?
(Sfx- Yurari *wibble*)
???: Ain’t you a hot little thing…wanna play with me?
(Sfx- Gahhh *shfft*)
Tsukuyo: Ya’ll breathed in the love drug…!!!

Dude: Hey lady…come and play with me…
Naww…hang out with me baby…
Tsukuyo: Calm down you all…
Get a hold of yourselves!!
Dudes: That woman is mine!!
No she’s mine!!
C’mon baaaaabbbyyyy!!
Tsukuyo: W—wait I said!!
(Sfx- dogaaaahhh *Thooooom*)

Gintoki: Hey…
Keep your mitts off of..
My woman.
The Shinigami daiyuu is designated for me and only me for all eternity.
And I ain’t letting anyone lay a finger on her.
There ain’t a single woman that you bastards can just take and do what you want with.

Primates like you are a hundred years too early to be playing in Yoshiwara!! Just go home and spend the rest of your damn lives clicking ads on some porno site!! Just remember the bitches you download belong to me too!!
(Sfx- GOSHAAAHH *thooooom*)
Tsukuyo: Gintoki, stop this! They’ve all just been dosed with the love drug!!
Gintoki: I already know that honey! Right this way!!
(Sfx- Datsuh *dash*)
Gintoki: Staying in Yoshiwara is getting to be too dangerous!! It’s a verifiable den of sex crazed lunatics!!
Lets take the low road all the way honey!
(Sfx- Ahaan~)
Tsukuyo: What the hell are you scheming?! You’re the biggest sex crazed lunatic here, aintcha/!

Gintoki: Don’t get it twisted honey. Unlike those sex fiends I’m looking to protect my honey.
It’s better if we stand out as we move honeys.
Lady: Yes darrrling!~
Where the hell do you intend on takin these honeys of yours?!
(Sfx- zoro zoro *sfft sfft*)
Gintoki: See I don’t discriminate against the ladies. Whether they’re hot or not, ugly or tempting, they’re all just the same holes that I can make my moves on. That’s my official policy.
Tsukuyo: Your policy is the biggest discrimination towards women!!
So what, wherever you walk you plan on hittin’ on the ladies?
Gintoki: I don’t see the problem with that. Look at their eyes. It’s not like they’re gonna object.
Tsukuyo: Because they’re doped up on them love fumes! You’re just gonna use ‘em until they get their sense back?
Gintoki: So should I leave ‘em to take care of themselves?
Tsukuyo: Just take ‘em back to Hinowa’s place safely…and don’t go touchin’ any of ‘em.
Gintoki: What about you hon?
Tsukuyo: Imma beat the mess out of tha ringleader.
There’s no mistakin’ that this whole mess was caused by someone carryin’ the Aizen insense.
I dunno what their motive is, but it’s thanks to the effects of the love drug that Yoshiwara’s been polluted.
Chances that who we’re lookin’ for is somone who was used up and spit out by Yoshiwara and now is workin’ behind the scenes is pretty high.

Tsukuyo: There’s someone out there who’s got it in them to begin a wave of widespread terrorist activity.
But tha bigger an organization is, the bigger their footprint. If a bunch of guys like that existed, then all of the investigatin’ we’ve done up until now would have turned up somethin’.
Basically, the enemy here is someone who’s aimin’ to make an organization but ain’t a part of one.
Alone in startin’ this whole situation…
And they’re gonna use the Aizen incense to control people’s movements.
They’re like a tree hidin’ in a forest. Within this army of sex crazed people is where or enemy is buried controlin’ things from behind tha scenes.
And the only thing I can do is to root ‘im out.
Gintoki: Don’t go overboard honey. No way I’m gonna let my sweet pea head into that den of lustful monsters all on her own.
We’re gonna do what has to be done when it has to be done together.
Tsukuyo: D—don’t touch me ya damn’ beast!
You’re surrounded by them beasts of yours so obviously I’ve got no choice but to go alone!!
Gintoki: What in the world have you been complaining about since before honey? Is it that the other girls are making you jealous?
Tsukuyo: Like hell they are!! Ever since you got tangled up with that incense, you’ve become the worst man ever! Worse than the guy who spread this crap!!

Gintoki: Listen, that’s how I am to everybody…young, old, man or woman.
Or are you saying that you want a special kindness all to yourself?
Tsukuyo: N—no body wants nothin’ like…
Gintoki: It’s fine by me…
If it’s what you wish…
I’ll become yours and yours alone.
(Sfx- Dokiiin *throb*)
{D—dammit!! It’s the effect of the love drug…!!}
{Why the hell is my heart racing over this detestable excuse for a man…?!}
Gintoki: Though in exchange, I hope you’re prepared for me to buy out your contract Shinigami daiyuu.
Just kidding…
Sorry I guess I’m getting a little ahead of myself.
I guess I’m really no good.
I can’t look at the woman I really want to be with…
The same way I always have.

Tsukuyo: I—if that’s the case…
I guess I can’t help it..
If you want to be together…
That badly…
I can put up with…
Taking you hand.
Gintoi: Awwright. If it’s just your hand I can have I hope you don’t mind if I take a crotch or two, okay?
Now everyone, lets get along together.
Now I’ll take your hands…
And you give me your lips~
(Sfx- Dostsu dotsu *thok thok*)
(Side text- Death to the perverted man!!)

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