Only for use by HWMN
[Gintama 493 Translation by Kewl0210]
Tae: Thank you so much, sensei.
Well, see you next week.
Insert: Could it be that those girls also...?
Kyuu: How did you like it, Otae-chan?
Tae: I should expect nothing less from the best shamisen player in Yoshiwara. The sounds were just lovely.
I'll do my best. Thank you so much for introducing me.
Kyuu: I'm glad to hear it. But I had my misgivings about bringing you to Yoshiwara, Otae-chan. I think I'll come with you next week, too.
Tae: Oh, it's fine! This red-light district is protected by Tsukuyo-san and the others. I feel much safer here than out there where the Gorillas live.
Oh, since I'm here, I should go say hi to Tsukuyo-san.
I wonder what that smoke is.
Gin: What is all that smoooke?!!
T... This is bad. The Aizen Kou...
The scent of that huge quantity of the love drug is...!!
We've gotta do something fast or something really bad is gonna happen!!
Tsuku: E-Everybody, hurry'n take shelter!!
Don't breath in tha smoke!
Just one whiff of it'll have a really bad effect!!
Shinpachi, Kagura, sorry, but could ya go borrow some water from someplace nearby?!
Kagura: Let us hurry, yes, Pattsan?!
Shin: Huh?! Where's Gin-san?!
Kagura: Excuse uuuus, but there's a fire nearby!
Could we borrow some wa...
Woman: Hey, when can we see each other again?
Gin: Sorry, but... I'm the type that never goes back to sleep with a woman after doing it once.
You don't wanna get lost in your dreams... Just forget about me.
Woman: I understand... I know you said you just weren't feeling well...
but I won't tell anyone that you didn't perform. It's forgotten.
Tsuku: Shinpachi, Kagura, where's tha water...?
Shin: Can we just use our tears?
Tsukuyo: What happeeeeened?!!
What'd ya see?!! Jus tell me!
Ya, ya don't mean...
Gin: Hey, boomerang honies over there,
how about instead of gateball you and I go knock some balls around?
T/N: Gateball is a mallet-ball game similar to croquet.
Shin: been beaten.
And of all things...
Gin: How about we take a break in that hotel for now?
It'll be fine! I won't do anything! Just maybe a little back massage!
Shin: he's turned into a real monster hunter!
Tsuku: What're you doin' ya bastaaard?!!
Kagu: Please come back, Gin-chan!! That's not gate ball, that is the gate to hell, yes?!
We can still make it in time, yes?! He instinctively withered right in front of the gate, yes?!
Gin: Ugh... A... After... I inhaled the smoke......
S... Sorry... I'm okay. Thanks to you guys I managed to stop right at the brink.
Shin: No, you were basically just barely out!
Gin: Kagura, Tsukuyo, I think I didn't realize it until now because you were too close by,
but I now know that the two of you are irreplaceable to me.
How about you go to the other side of the Okinawa adolescent Protection and Education Ordinance together?
Both: Are you just completely indiscriminate noooow?!!
SFX: GOH GASHAAA
Shin: Oh, geez...
He doesn't care if it's a mature woman or a loli now,
so from cradle to grave, he just huts on every female he sets his eyes on!
He's become a total lady-killer!!
Boxes: Lust [Top Right]
Debauchery [Bottom right]
Insert: He's become the height of sleeze!!
Title: Lesson 493
The Heavens Do Not Make Beautiful Women Better Than Ugly Women
Author: Sorachi Hideaki
T/N: This title is a joke on the phrase "The Heavens do not make a man better than other men".
Shin: So it's not only the first person you see after smelling the love potion that you fall in love with?!
Tsuku: He probably smelled so much of it that he totally lost his friggin' sense of reason!
At this rate, everyone's gonna end up tha same way!
I'll take care 'a this, you guys get tha hell outta here...
Tsuku: SHINPACHIII KAGURAAA!!
SFX: OOOOO KYAAAAA
Tsuku: N... No way! Where's all this smoke comin' from?!
SFX: GEHO GOO GEHO
There's smoke rising... all over Yoshiwara...?!!
That pink smoke... it's unmistakably Aizen Kou.
What tha hell's going on?!!
Who did this?!
SFX: GEHO GEHOH
Kagura: W... We are all right, Tsukky!!
We inhaled the smoke,
but our eyes are closed!!
Kagura: That hurt, dammiiit!!
Shin: Ah, sorr...
Kagura: Th... This cannot be... P... Pa-Pa-Pattsan is...
The Patssan I've known for so long is...
Tsuku: Only his glasseeeeeeees?!!
Shin: Th... That doesn't make sense... She shouldn't be any different from normal...
SFX: DOKI DOKI DOKI
Kagura: She should be the same person I'm used to seeing, but...
She's so cooooooooooool!!
Tsuku: The glasses is all you can see, toooooo?!!
Kagura: I-I-I-I'm sorry! I just...
Shin: N-N-No, I should apologize.
Kagura: No, I... I just...
I'm sorry, Shinpachi-kun!
Shin: H-Hey... W... Wait, Kagura!!
Tsuku: 'Ey, wait! Shinpachi, Kagura, come baaack!!
I managed to get this one out, but...
The city's already wry with Aizen Kou.
And now my comrades and everyone else'll be its victims...
I... I've gotta do something...
Guys: M... Miss.
Wh... What shop do you belong to~~?
She's a beaut~~ Wanna play with me~~?
SFX: YURARI (Tottering) GAH
You guys have the love potion...!!
People: Play with me, Miss!
No, play with me!
SFX: ZOROZORO (Amassing)
Tsuku: C-Calm down, you bastards!!
Get a hold 'a yerselves!!
Guys: That woman is mine!
No, she's mine!
Tsuku: H-Hold it!!
Don't you dare lay a hand
on my woman.
The Shinigami Tayuu is eternally mine.
I won't let anyone lay a single finger on her.
There isn't a single woman that I'll give to people like you that would take a woman by force.
Gin: All females in the universe from the ele****ary school girls carrying backpacks to the old ladies with salonpas on their back
are all miiiiiiiine!!
You brutes are a hundred years too early to play in Yoshiwara!! Go spend the rest of your lives clicking around on porn sites! But remember the women on those porn site are mine, toooo!!
Tsuku: Uh, the brute here is yooooou!!
Tsukuyo: Quit that, GintokI! Those guys're just affected by the love potion!
Gin: I know that honey, this way!!
Gin: Yoshiwara has become a nest of sex maniacs. It's too dangerous to walk around here openly.
Let's take the back streets, Honey!
Tsuku: What're you scheming?! The most dangerous sex maniac around here is you!!
Gin: Don't get the wrong idea, honey. I just want to protect my honey from the sex maniacs.
Try not to do anything that'll make you stand out, okay, honey?
Honeys: Yes, darling!
Tsuku: Uh, this is gonna stand out a whole loooot!!
Where did you get all these honeys from?!!
Gin: Womens have no beauty or ugliness. I don't discriminate between beauties or uggos. My etiquette is to seduce them equally as just holes.
Tsuku: Then you're more discriminatory to women than anyone!!
SFX: ZORO ZORO (Amassing)
Tsuku: I was wonderin' where ya'd wandered off ta. Ya were out seducing women?!
Gin: When you're like me, you don't need pick up lines. You can take 'em down with just your eyes.
Tsuku: You just went around taking advantage of people that were affected by the love potion and brought them back here!!
Gin: Then should I have just left them out there unchecked?
Let's bring 'em to Hinowa. They should be safe there... Just don't touch 'em.
let's take down the ringleader.
This insanity was clearly caused by whomever it was that spread the Aizen Kou around Yoshiwara.
I dunno what their goal is, but effectively he's contaminated Yoshiwara with a love potion.
So there's a good chance it was done by someone internal with a thorough knowledge of Yoshiwara.
Tsuku: For an act of terrorism of this scale, they'll have needed a lot of hands.
But the bigger the organization, the easier they are to trace. If there is a group like that, then they should have showed an open seam in our investigations so far.
In other words, whether the enemy's an organization or not,
pulled off by just one person.
Usin' the Aizen Kou, they're manipulating people like they're their own arms and legs.
Ya hide a tree in a forest. The party that's manipulatin' this enemy is somewhere in that army 'a sex maniacs.
Our only choice is to poke around in there.
Gin: That's reckless, honey. I cannot let my honey to that pack of beasts alone.
When we go, and come, and pass on, we do it together.
Tsuku: D-Don't touch me, you beast!!
As you can see, there's nothin' but beasts around me, so I've got no choice!
Gin: Why are you being so edgy? Don't tell me you're jealous of my other honeys?
Tsuku: Like helllll!! You've been affected by a love potion. But I've known forever that you're an utter ass!!
Gin: I simply treat all humans, young or old, man or woman, equally.
Or do you maybe want me to only be kind to you?
Tsuku: N... No one said anything like that!!
Gin: It's fine, really.
If it's what you want,
I don't mine being only yours.
Tsuku: Th... This is bad. The effects of the love potion are coming back...!!
Somehow, my heart is starting to beat fast for this asshole lady-killer......
Gin: And in exchange, Shinigami Tayuu, you need to be prepared for me to buy your contractual freedom.
Gin: Ju~~~st kidding.
Sorry. I guess you're really not into it.
Yeah, this isn't going right.
When there's a woman I really want to make a pass at
I... can't do it like I usually do.
Tsukuyo: Th... Then
there's nothin' I can do.
If you wanna... then we can go
I... I think I can endure...
just... your hand...
Gin: Oh? Well if it's just hands, I'm okay with any number.
Okay, then let's all get along get going, shall we?!
Okay, you guys use your hands
and I'll use my lips, okay?
SFX: DOH DOH
Insert: Death to the perverted guy...!!