Gintama 629

It's almost ironic how that chapter title doesn't fit with the most illogical manga currently running in Jump.



Also I have a plurk now, so feel free to friend me there and stuff.

GINTAMA
(Side text- The Yato’s aim is…)
???: So you’re Hiraga Gengai?
It would seem you deserve most of the credit for the Earthings being able to drive the liberation front out.
We are aware of what was born from your hands.
If one were to look around the entire universe they’d be unable to find someone who sunk as many ships as you.
As such you are the only one who can return things to what they were.
Gengai: You’ve captured an old fart who doesn’t have paper to clean his ass…
And yet you’re asking him to clean yours?
You guys who watched your buddies get their asses handed to them from high up spectator seats..
Are now asking me to give you a hand? Then weren’t you all scattered from the start?
002
???: We had no intention of fighting alongside fools who would belittle the enemy and try to wage war alone when contact with the headquarters had been lost.
If rotted appendages do not fall off, then eventually the whole body –the liberation front will be poisoned.
We will not underestimate you.
This planet that was able to quell our brethren…the night king..
We will defeat you lot after we have reassembled our army.
Gengai, stop that nanomachine virus.
Shinsengumi: We’re in deep shiiiiiiit!!
Old man Gengai has been….

003
(Sfx- Garaaaahhh *clatter*)
Hijikata: The enemy has kidnapped Gengai!!
(Sfx- Kuuhhh *dsssh*)
(Sfx- Donchannn *clkk*)
(Sfx- Doshaahh *thuuud*)
Tsukuyo: Huuuh?
You say somethin’?
(Sfx- Hikkuh *hic*)
Hijikata: Nope, not a thing.
(Sfx- Suuhh *sshhht*)
(Sfx- Pataan *slam*)

004
(Side text- The silent Edo castle…)
GINTAMA
Lesson 629: Logic is essential for deductions.
SORACHI HIDEAKI
(Side text- Volume 69 of the manga hits stores on April 4th.)
Matsudaira: Good work…
but keep an eye on the enemy’s movements, and be prepared to act.
This night’s got me uneasy.
It’s ominously still as death out here.
This is a perfect opportunity for those guys who were tossing about feverishly to cool off their heads.
It ain’t like they can’t move..
What they should do is to make it seem like they can’t.
Still their breaths and just wait for something to happen.

005
Matsudaira: The bonus stage ain’t something that’s meant to last long.
So we oughtta rest while we’ve got the chance to…
Soyo: So you couldn’t sleep either,
Nobume-san.
Nobume: I was dragged down by my injuries, so there’s no way I could shamefully sleep now.
At the very least I can keep guard while you sleep peacefully, princess.
Soyo: I’m sorry to worry you like this..
But I’m fine. You should be the one who rests Nobume-san.
Nobume: Princess, once you are asleep, I will sleep Z~
Soyo: Um, you’re already asleep though, Nobume-san.
I’m sorry, you’re so tired while I’m here wide awake it seems…

006
Soyo: If it’s a bodyguard, we have the one the Yorozuya left here so I’ll be okay.
He’ll be sure to properly guard my room, so please go ahead and rest Nobume-san.
Ah, It’s fine! Please just let him rest…
Nobume: Ngh, this feels so good, Z~
Soyo: Nobume-san, I’m sorry but I’m not sure how to be the straight man here…
Ah, but it does really feel nice…
If I lie down here maybe I might be able to sleep..
(Sfx- Mofuuh *fuzz*)
Soyo: Actually…
Something like this happened before didn’t it?
I was lonely and couldn’t sleep so I selfishly…
Came to sleep with everyone.
Back then I never thought a night like this would ever come…

007
Soyo: I knew nothing about how lonely a night…
Could actually be.
Nobume: Princess…
It was us of the Hitotsubashi faction…
That caused you siblings to suffer so.
If we hadn’t done meddlesome things…
Shigeshige-sama would be…
In all honesty…
I do not have the right to be by your side.
Soyo: Tonight was the first time in a while I’ve felt so sleepy.
Back then it was the same.
You were my envoy who was always by my side, wren’t you?
I don’t quite get the complicated things, but you forgot your status…
In order to protect us siblings many times.

008
Soyo: Isn’t that good enough,
Nobume-san?
Just like you know my “pain”…
I too know your “pain”.
Isn’t that enough of a reason for us…
To spend this evening…
With each other?
Nobume-san..
Let us both get through this nice together….Z.
Nobume: Princees, I’m not sure of how I should be the straight man here…

009
(Sfx- Gagagagagaaa)
(Sfx- Pikuhh *poooit*)
(Sfx- PIiiiii *beeeeep*)
Nobume: What is…
(Sfx- Zazaaah *dssft*)
Nobume: A wireless radio?
The broken wireless radio that the guards left is…
(Sfx- Zazaa zazaaa *ssshhhh*)
(Sfx- Zazaaa *sshhh*)
???: R---
--Re…
Respond…
d…
(Sfx- Zazazaaa *sshhhhh*)
Soyo: It’s transmitting?
But all of the machines in Edo with transmission capabilities should have been shut down…
Moreover..
This voice…
(Sfx- Zazazazaa *ssshffft*)
???: Wh—are you….?
R—respond..
Soyo: Yes…
???: Connected…
And you are…
Who…

010
Soyo: I am Shigeshige’s little sister, Soyo.
This is…
Nobunobu-sama, right?
(Sfx- Zazazaaa *sshhhhh*)
???: This is…??
We’re through!!
The communication channel to earth has been restored!!
It’s just as the report’s findings said. The enemy’s nanomachine virus didn’t destroy all of the machines after all!!
(Sfx- Wai wai)
It just struck down the central nervous system of the machines. Then if we move the system to another location..
Damn those clever bastards! To think they thought of a countermeasure in such a short amount of time..

011
Enshou: AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LUNKHEADS SO OVERJOYED?!
We still haven’t settled anything!!
And we still can’t get any closer to that planet!
Not only that, but the ones down there are still in danger!!
So get off your asses, find out the status on earth, and prepare our next measures!!
Soldiers: Yessir!
(Sfx- Girii *Grind*)
Enshou: Damned Earthlings…!!
HIjikata: What?! Communications have been restored?!
No way…do you think Gengai who got caught by the enemy did this…?
And it ain’t just the communications…if the enemy’s weapons and machinery gets back online, we don’t have a chance in hell of defeating them!
Hurry! No matter what you have to do, find Gengai, and rescue him form the enemy!!

012
Gintoki: Calm down assheads…that old geezer ain’t the type to blabber his guts or do what the enemy tells him. I’m sure he took his secrets to the grave.
Shinpachi: DON’T KILL HIM OFF?!
Gintoki: It’s all good man…despite his looks he’s an awesome communicator.
Even if it’s space, or hell, he’ll find a way to reach out and touch us.
Shinpachi: BUT HE’S STILL GOING TO BE KILLED!
Gintoki: But before we can do anything first thing’s first.
We gotta drink some Heparize, get out kitarou bags ready, and sleep..
(TN- Heparize is a stomach medicine, while kitarou bags are air sickness bags.)
Gintoki: Ah wait, don’t shake so much, I don’t feel so good…
HRNNNNGHHHH
(Sfx- Gyaaaaaah!!!)
HIjikata: Heeeey! What the hell are you doing drinking enough to get sick when we’re in the middle of a war, asswipe?!
Gintoki: Even I thought I was standing before the final save point before the last boss..
And I was hoping to head in with my HP at full…
(Handwritten- Um, could you wake up already and knock that off?)
Gintoki but when I woke up, I had rolled into a poisonous swamp..
And my HP was piss green color.
Hijikata: LIFE DOESN’T HAVE SAVE POINTS!! LIFE’S THE KIND OF THING THAT EVERY TIME YOU TAKE A STEP FORWARD THE DAMAGE YOU TAKE INCREASES!
Gintoki: In any case we don’t have any proof that the enemies kidnapped the old geezer.
Okita: It seems he got caught in a place with no paper and his pants down, literally.
Gintoki: Well ain’t it just dandy if that old guy kicks the bucket?
Okita: There was p**p at the scene of the crime but there were no traces of wiping left over.
So it’s safe to say his ass is still a poop zone.
And he was taken somewhere.
Gintoki: And what the hell is up with that reasoning? It’s the most pointless in this whole world. That’s what you wanna hang the old dude’s name on? Don’t you think he would be embarrassed about that?

013
Shinpachi: Even supposing that’s what happened, I’m sure Gengai-san would have left us some sort of clue…
Okita: Clues, huh…
It seems luck has rolled into our laps then…
Shinpachi: Rather than luck, it looks like shit, Okita-san.
Okita: Take a good look.
Shinpachi: It’s a trail of P—s**t….
Okita: This has to be the clue Gengai left for us.
He was taken away by the enemy but he had no means of telling us where he was…
So to point us in the right direction he left these signs for us.
Shinpachi: The hell kind of Hansel and Gretel is this?!
Okita: If we follow these we’ll reach where Gengai is being held!
Hijikata: Hey Sogou…is it really okay to associate this with the old man? Should we really bet on this?
Gintoki: It’s probably some wild dog’s droppings.
Shinpachi: Isn’t that against the law?
Hijikata: More like can a single human drop this much?
Okita: This might end up becoming dangerous…we should hurry…

014
Kondo: It had been a while since I saw you guys so I might have drank too much..
I really meant to moderate myself a little more…
But I knew no matter how deep the forest that you guys would come and realize what was going on…
Did you buy me new underwear?
Okita: Ah, just a wild gorilla.
Hijikata: Yeah, a wild gorilla. No humans at all in that alley. Got it you guys?
Shinpachi: That’s all fine and dandy, but are you sure it’s okay to call your boss a wild Gorilla/!
Gintoki: I was wondering why he ran ahead of us like that, so it was so he could wash his unmentionables huh?
Hijikata: JUST FORGET WHAT YOU SAW!
Gintoki: Dude, you don’t think I want to? I’m beginning to feel sick again.
Shinpachi: But now what? We’ve lost our only lead again.
Hijikata: Hey, hold the phone.
Look over there.
Shinpachi: Blood stains…then you don’t think..
Hijikata: This might be the clue Gengai left for us.
Shinpachi: No way, then Gengai-san is…
(Sfx- Datsuh *dash*)
Hijikata: I have no idea, but it means that we don’t have time to sit here and think about it!
Okita: Hijikata-san why are you trying to smear gopuchan’s name?
Hijikata: Why do *I* have to be the guy out to ruin Korean food? Why can’t I join you guys and smear the old man’s name?
Shinpachi(?): The puddles of blood are only getting bigger…!!
Hijikata: Shit, we’ve gotta hurry!
(TN- Gopuchan is the name of a Korean dish made out of grilled cattle or pork intestines.)

015
(Sfx- Pota *drip*)
Zenzou: I drank too much and my hemorrhoids are flaring up…
But I knew you guys would figure out what’s going on and find me..
I can’t move…
So can you guys do me a solid and put this on my a—
(Sfx- Hyuuhh *wffft*)
Hijikata: Hey….
Your drinking social has completely wiped everyone out! More like the focus seems to be on their lower halves!!
Gintoki: Knock off the straight man shit, okay? We’ve deducted you’re hiding some gopchan so bring it out already.
Hijikata: Then make Okita drag out gramps too!!
Okita: Rude much Hijikata-san? My old man has been dead for quite a while. So for him and me, would you please die soon too?
HIjikata: The hell kind of logic is that? You bastards have no qualifications to even utter the word “deduction”.
Shinpachi: Hey, can we like, not do this right now?!

016
Hijikata: Then if it’s come to this then we’ll just have to use the signal channel to alert everyone around here…
Kagura: Over this way, uh-huh.
Shinpachi: Kagura-chan?
Kagura: This is just my intuition, but we can use it for a bit, yes?
It is on nights like this…
That night rabbits become hunters.
Enshou: Old master Son…
I gathered the greatest of the Dakini and Shinra clans..
But it appears only you Yato remain, huh?

017
Enshou: Oh? And who is that man?
Son: Oh?
Enshou: It would appear he still has ears and a nose…
As long as his arms and limbs are still attached, it would appear the rest is unnecessary.
Son: I think by seeing his face you can tell whether torture or other means would work on him or not, no?
Gengai: Oh? SO you’re the head of the Liberation Front?
Nice to finally chat wit ya.
Enshou: And I presume you are the stranger who came out of nowhere..
Causing our battleships, weapons, and even communications to cease functioning?
Gengai: As you can tell your communication channels are back to tip-top-shape.
I was hoping I’d meet the guy at the top of all of this, so mission accomplished I guess.
Though those nanomachine bees ain’t gonna stop.
And I can’t go letting you gents get any closer to Earth.
Why, you ask?
Cause even I don’t know how to stop ‘em.

018
Enshou: Yes…
That’s what I figured.
But let me tell you something Earthling…
We are in the same boat, as we cannot stop either.
(Sfx- Gogogogogo *rmmmmmble*)
Enshou: We the Altana Liberation fornt…
(Sfx- Gooounn *veeen*)
Enshou: Have gathered to liberate planets across the galaxy from the Tendoshuu.
(Sfx- Gogooooh *rmmmble*)
(Sfx- Gashiiin *clank*)
Enshou: But if a planet were to reject the advance of our most holy of wars…
(Sfx- Zuzuzuun *veeereeeen*)
(Sfx- GOgogogogo *rmmmmmble*)
Enshou: And try to pick a fight with us…
Then we would act in accordance to its desire..

019
Enshou: Earth…
May you and the worms crawling upon your surface…
Be reduced to space dust.
(Side text- The worst move is made….!!)
GINTAMA LEESSON 629…………END.