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Translations: One Piece 929 by cnet128 , Gintama 699 by kewl0210

Gintama 683

Be careful of dick-slips.

+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on Jun 8, 2018 22:07 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 683

What can I say? I never learn.

Hi wa mata noboru only.

Also I have a plurk now, so feel free to friend me there and stuff.

(Side text- The conspiracy deepens...)
???: Edo?
(Bottom text- The newest volume of the manga #73 will be in stores June 4th (Monday)!)
Henpeita: Yes, that is the destination of the ship that Shinsuke-dono is using.
It is likely the Naraku disappeared after pursuing it.
We too must make haste.
Matako: So what happens when we catch up with them?
I...thought I should chase after Shinsuke-sama no matter what happens...
And no matter what he's trying to do...
But after seeing his expression...
Seeing Shinsuke-sama...
Make that face...
I'm not sure about that anymore.

???: Looks like the escort mission was completed successfully.
'Bout time we headed back.
But man, those guys had the Government and a bunch of freaks after 'em...
Boss, you don't think we got ourselves involved in some weird, wrong shit do you?
Boss: Takasugi Shinsuke
He mighta been a hero in the end, but before that he was a source of trouble for the world.
To be frank when he approached me...
I was unsure of his intentions myself.
When I saw the straightforward look in his eye, I started thinking being fooled by him wouldn't be terrible.
And tthen...
When I saw their expressions...
None of that bothered me anymore.

Boss: They had the expressions of two rotten kids.
Not heroes, but two kids up to no good.
Matako: It's my first time seeing Shinsuke-sama make that face...
And now upon seeing it, well, I feel like...I dunno, I'm just getting in the way.
No, it's more like....I feel like...
Just watching him a bit more like this.
(Sfx- Basaaahhh blooorsh)

Gintoki: Dude,
You heard how people say a kid will grow up whether they've got their folks around or not?
Straight up? I didn't expect this place to get back on it's feet to this extent without me around.
Takasugi: And how long has it been since you've been 'round town?
You're the brat who turned his back on his folks and ran away after all.
Gintoki: True.
And then when I finally show up again...
It's with one hell of a bad influence.
If I were my parents, I'd be in tears.

Gintoki: But I don't really have the right to say “I'm back”.
Though I guess for now...
I'm back in your care for a little while.
(Side text- The no-good-brats return home.)
Lesson 683: Be careful of dick-slips.

???: So even after changing into a bizarre form...
A leader remains the leader, hm?

???: I presume....
You weren't able to get the heart?
I wonder when your master...
Will be revived?
In the previous war you accepted Utsuro's blood...
Yet you were completely defeated without protecting your master.
And now that blood has seemingly already run dry....
Before your limbs completely rot away...
Why don't we reclaim Utsuro....your master?

???: While it is a fact we Tendoushuu were annihilated by Utsuro...
We were also revived by his blood.
That power is now our hope. We mustn't allow the past to ensnare us.
If we want to realize the universe's greatest hope –their wish for “immortality” we need Utsuro's entire body.
Should we manage to fully claim those techniques we will be able to save many.
And of course....
that includes Utsuro himself.
So you must act with speedy prudence.
Defeat is unforgivable.
What a useless bunch...
They are really nothing more than a gathering of fools who don't know how to die.
Do you understand? You must get the heard back from them.
It is merely insurance.
If you aren't able to claim the heart of Utsuro yourself...

???: Then we'll create it.
It would appear that Utsuro's newly revived heard is made of crystal...
So if we are able to harvest large quantities of Altana from Earth we may be able to manufacture one artificially.
We need to find a means of attaching his heart –Utsuro's heart to a body...
But as of right now we do not posses the technology to do that as we used our own bodies as materials, and most importantly...
We have Utsuro's body.
We will dissect it until it is nothing but sinus and flesh and we have all of it's secrets.
With all of those techniques and the Altana we were able to steal,
We will have the power to create immortality.
Utsuro, we will be able to reclaim everything...
You stole from us, the Tendoushuu.

???: And....
Where in Edo is this enemy?
Takasugi: Everywhere.
The Tengen Church's teachings have taken root and spread around Edo as we speak.
Neighbors that exchanged friendly greetings yesterday now snap and snarl at each other violently.
This is exactly why other planets were helpless to stop the spread of terrorism.
It honestly wouldn't surprise me if an ordinary civilian turned on you now, stabbed you to death and ran off the heart.
Gintoki: If you ask me, I feel like the guy I'm conversing with now is the most likely to betray me.
So to sum this cheerful conversation up succinctly, we dunno anything other than they're in Edo and are targeting this place now, yeah?
Takasugi: If I wanted you dead I'd just straight up do it.
But these guys? Forget straight up, they don't even let people see their backs.
By spreading their teachings and getting more believers, they're able to increase how much terroism they can cause around the universe's different planets.
And no one knows where the command center of it all is.
Though that's not surprising...

Takasugi: As the head temple of the Tengen church isn't on a planet...
It's on the Moble Temple Kuyou, a giant ship that floats through the stars.
They stand over us looking down at the Earth from distant stars where no one can reach them and act like Gods.
It can't be picked up by radar much less the naked eye, but Kuyou is definitely in the skies of Earth.
We're going to put the kibosh on their terroism and make those Gods kneel to us on earth.
Utsuro's body....
Sensei is up there.
Gintoki: And how do we stop them?
Takasugi: Who the hell do you think I am?

Takasugi: I'm the Jou Patriot who's raged through this country like no one else has.
Seeing through baby terrorists is something I can do with ease.
Gintoki: Oh? I'm totally reassured now.
I've got a super idiot here that scares regular idiots.
Takasugi: There is something I need to handle before they get moving...
So if you have anything you need to take care of, best to do it now.
Gintoki: Huh?
Takasugi: It's the first time you've been back in two years, don't tell me there's no one you want to see.
Gintoki: You dumbass, how the hell can I go see them now?
“Oh, Me? Just here to save the very same monster that nearly slaughtered us all.”
You'd have to be thicker than Jump SQ to think that'd actually work.
Takasugi: So basically if you saw them again....
your resolve would take a hit, huh?
Well, it's your life. Do what you want.

???: The man who once tried to destroy Edo...
And the man who tried to protect Edo from him...
have both arrived here together.
There's no doubting it now...
Boss Yorozuya...
Has fallen into the darkness.
According to my data, when the plot takes this kind of turn toward the end of the series...
Where the protagonist who protected humanity starts to despair about it's foolishness and everything goes to naught...
This is the Devilman pattern.
We'll need to prepare Satan's army for war soon, or we'll have the Angel's army to deal with too.
The way things are, we're headed toward an irredeemable ending.

Hijikata: Zaki, I'm not here to hear you wax delusional.
So do me a favor and shut up before I despair over my subordinate's idiocy.
And your paychecks will end irredeemably.
Zaki: A subordinate's idocy huh? But who do you have to thank for being able to track them here?
Hijikata: Yeah, about that. You said you could fly....
So I hopped on your back and we started to follow their ship...
(Handwritten- Lets' goooo Mob cop!)
Hijikata: But then you ran out of gas and you literally grabbed ahold of the ship.
Pretty sure my life flashed before my eyes at least 5 times thanks to you.
Yamazaki: That was an issue with my inability to refuel due to my anpan getting mushy underwater.
Hijikata: Why does Robocop use anpan for fuel?!
Zaki: Moreover they weren't using fine-grained bean paste in those things, it was coarse grained stuff. You can't get any power from those, Tony.
Hijikata: Who's Tony?! Your Mech specs and mental specs aren't agreeing with each other!
Listen I know you're tired from the trip, but don't lose sight of them. We'll let them walk about freely and pay attention to their movements.
Zaki: Huh? If you're too careless and allow them too much space the demon and satan's armies are...
Hijikata: Armageddon ain't happenin'.
Zaki: Then you believe in the boss, Hijikata-san?
Hijikata: That's not it. I just want to find out what exactly his goal is.
Zaki: And what about after that?
What if boss does do something terrible?

Hijikata: We cut him down.
The job of the Shinsengumi he saved, right?
Zaki: Hijikata-san...
The Shinsengumi no longer exists...
Hijikata: I said don't lose them.
Yamazaki: They're on the move!
Going in different directions?
Hijikata: We'll split up and follow them!
(Sfx- Daaah tmmph)

Zaki: Got it! I'll follow Takasugi...
While I'll follow the boss!
Hijikata-san buy me more anpan, 'kay?
Hijikata: The coarse grained ones right?
My ass.
Why the hell did you split in half and when the hell did I become your bitch?
Zaki: I'm sorry I'll do my best in your stead, so please buy me anpan.
(Sfx- Meki meki grndd)
Hijikata: If you follow them looking like that, you'll not only be noticed but become some kind of urban legend!
Can't you blend in with the ground more?!
Zaki: Ah right, I do have a mode for trailing others...
When using this mode my body absorbs information from the surroundings to create the perfect cover.
This'll allow me to blend in with my surroundings automatically, so it's perfect for this.
(Sfx- Kyuuuunn veeeeen)
Zaki: I'll buy some anpan!
Hijikkata-san go buy some anpan over there okay?
Hijikata: Yeah, gotcha! The ones sprinkled with seasame seeds right?

Zaki: It's just whenever I think of Hijikata-san I see someone on Anpan duty. That might need a disguise too.
Hijikata: Did my anscesors do something to anpan?! Did they just eat the bean jam and toss the bread/!
(Sfx- Meki meki grrind griind)
Hijikata: Whatever! Just go like that!
Just do your best to act like Hijikata-san and go after the Yorozuya all without doing anything stupid! Act like a natural, normal Hijikata-san!
Zaki: Gotcha.
A natural, normal Hijikata-san right?!
(Sfx- Doooooohhh fwhoooom)
I got the anpan, so for the love of all that's holy stop this.
Please stop natural, normal Hijikata-san!
Put on some clothes!! We'll get something from the clothing store and...

(Sign- bathing suit sale/Special offers!!)
Gintoki: Say....
(Sfx- Pikuhh point)
Gintoki: Gran...
(Sfx- Kakuuun tok)
Gintoki: The bathing suit mannequin...
these are boxers....
and on the swimsuit mannequin,
this is a dick-slip.
Gran: This is the recent trend of fashion....this year flaunting what you've got is in.
Gintoki: Seriously?
Gran: Hmm...when did I decorate these two? Ah oh well...
(Sfx- Jiiii stare)
(Sfx- Jiiiii staaaare)

Gintoki: Nah, that's enough of that.
Even I did see someone I doubt glasses would hide much.
(Sfx- Dodododododo thmtmthm)
Gitnoki: Gran, I'm buying these undies so would you mind helping me out?
I'm beggin' ya!
(Sfx- Kara tmpt)
Tae: Oh? They've got bathing suits on sale?
That's really cool!
Perhaps I'll buy one for Shin-chan?
(Side text- Chaos!!)
GINTAMA LESSON 683..............END.

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