Sket Dance 72

Dear Lord, I don't think I've ever translated so much Sket Dance in such a short space of time. And just so you know, it nearly killed me, but at least I did it (which is more than I thought I was going to manage), so I guess you could say one good thing came out of a certain bunch of evil assholes coming out of nowhere and trying to steal my series in a surprise attack of unprecedented bastardliness. Don't bother thinking this takes them off my death list, because they're still on there until every trace of those goddamn scanlations is wiped clean off the internet, but if they would stop releasing the series RIGHT NOW, then that would at least be a nice start ^^

Now, without further ado, I present translation number one of my fifteen-Sket-Dance-translations-in-about-three-days marathon.

Guidelines For Using My Translations

1
Shinzou: I... // ...am abandoning the way of the samurai.
[Insert text: A shocking confession?!]
Bossun/Himeko: ............... // Huh...
Bossun: Well, I don't see much wrong with that, really. / I mean, just between us, it's not like you were ever really a samurai to begin with, you know?
Switch: You weren't serving under a master, after all.
Himeko: Aren't ya really just like a cosplayer?
Shinzou: ...............
[Sket Dance]
[Chapter 72: Fashionable Samurai]

2
Bossun: Oh... a pen-pal, huh?
Himeko: An' you're gonna be meetin' up with her?
Shinzou: Precisely.
Bossun: And what the hell's that supposed to mean, samurai-man?! // Since when did you turn into Mr. Popular Socialite, huh?! // You're totally after a girlfriend!
Himeko: Yeah, you really aren't a samurai at all, are ya! / You're just a plain ol' guy in a kimono!
Shinzou: N... No! It started as just a hobby, a way of passing the time! I never had such grand intentions from the outset, I swear it! // It is the path of the samurai that I ultimately follow! // ...or so I thought...
Bossun/Himeko: ...............
Shinzou: You see... as it transpired, the lady with whom I was exchanging emails, one Megumi-dono...

3
Shinzou: ...was in fact a remarkably charming woman...
Bossun: Whoa!! // That "Megumi-dono" is a total hottie!!
[TN: Really? I'm not seeing it.]
Himeko: Damn right!! How'd ya pull that one off?!!
Shinzou: Though it shames me to admit it, I fell for her beauty at first sight, to the point where I now spend my every waking hour in anticipation of her next missive. // Even my mobile phone's wallpaper has been replaced by an image of Megumi-dono.
Himeko: ...No, that's just creepy.
Shinzou: And since one of the images I was sent was in a landscape format... // ...even my landscape wallpaper has been replaced by an image of Megumi-dono.
Himeko: ENOUGH ALREADY!!

4
Shinzou: And now, it has come to pass that we are to meet with one another... // But when I inquired as to her preferences in men, this was her response......
Bossun: Huh... / You really have been going the whole hog...
Shinzou: A tall and muscular man...
Bossun: Huh... / So far, so good!
Shinzou: Strong...
Bossun: Yeah...
Shinzou: Masculine...
Himeko: Sounds right...
Shinzou: Wild and impulsive...
Switch: That's you.
Shinzou: ...and in with the latest fashions.
Bossun: Gaa~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~hhh!! // Out at the last hurdle~~~~~~~~~!!
Himeko: Sorry~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!! Ya got no chance~~~~~~~~~~~~!! / Not a chance in hell~~~~!! // Too old-fashioned~~~~~~~~! So old-fashioned it's just crazy~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!
Bossun: La~~~~~me!
Himeko: Out of touch~~!
Switch: With the face of a man in his thirties~~!
Shinzou: That will be quite enough!! // I am aware of my shortcomings in this area!! I am a walking anachronism! // That is precisely why...
Bossun: Whoa, whoa, whoa...

5
Bossun: Are you telling me that's why you want to give up being a samurai? // You just want to get more up-to-date with your fashion?
Himeko: I thought the samurai style was somethin' you believed in?
Shinzou: ............... // It is for that reason that I am troubled and unsure. / This style is something that I have always boldly stood by as a matter of pride... // I find myself wondering whether it is right or wrong to deviate from that pride, that belief, purely for the sake of a lady... // In truth, it was to hear your thoughts on this matter that I came here today... / Bossun-dono... what is your opinion?
Bossun: ...............

6
Bossun: Oh, just forget about those beliefs or whatever!!!
Shinzou: !!
Bossun: I mean, come on... "pride"?! Screw that already!! // It's not like you're ever gonna be a real samurai! // The Way of the Samurai... / ...or the love that lies before your eyes?!! // What do you think being a high-schooler is all about?!! Who are you trying to fool?!!!

7
Shinzou: .................. // Bossun-dono... // Yes... I feel my eyes have been opened!! As though I had just swallowed two hundred Frisk at once!!
Bossun: It's time for you to be reborn!
Himeko: Nice goin' there, Bossun!!
Switch: Yes! Let's do it! (this should be fun) // So... in the end, what you would like is for us to help you co-ordinate a fashionable outfit, correct?
Shinzou: Indeed. / I have no confidence in my own sense for such things.
Bossun: Well, I've never seen you in anything but that lame kimono, after all...
Himeko: All right, I just spoke to Momoka! // She had a word with her stylist, and she's bagged us a dressing room at the TV station to use specially for the job!
Bossun: All right! That's an actress for you! // Well, there we go then, Shinzou! You'll be able to try on all sorts of stuff!
Shinzou: I am truly grateful!
Switch: Let us be off! (this should be fun)
Bossun: Right, so it looks like we've got this room to ourselves for the next two hours.

8
Bossun: It's not hard to see we've got plenty of outfits to work with here.
Himeko: So all we gotta do is find somethin' that suits Shinzou out of this lot, yeah?
Switch: Let us try to get through the day without screwing around for once.
Bossun: ...Coming from YOU?! // Right! Come on, then, Shinzou. / Why don't you pick out something to try on for starters?
Shinzou: What? Me, choose an outfit?
Bossun: Sure. Finding out what kind of stuff you're interested in is a good place to start.
Shinzou: Hmmmm... / What would I like to try...? // I am unsure as to whether this will work... // Well, then, how about this... and this... / Yes, that may be an interesting combination... // Excuse me for a moment!
Bossun: My money's on him coming out of there looking totally lame.
Switch: Likewise.
Himeko: Ain't that too obvious? // ...But I'm in, too.

9
Shinzou: My apologies for the wait.
[TN: I like the way the SFX looks like a sword =p]
Everyone: SO LAME~~!!!
Bossun: Whoooooa!! That's... SO lame!! He's got a freakin' ukiyo-e T-shirt!! / Aaaahhhhh~~~~!! Fingerless gloves and everything!!
Himeko: What's with those blatant artificially-faded jeans?!! // And that bandana!!
Bossun: It's like he's "Lethal Crusher Guy"... // All right! All right! We were wrong, we admit it! / We'll handle the outfit ourselves!
Shinzou: I am deadly serious. // Please, do what you can.
Himeko: I'll go see what I can find. // We're lookin' for somethin' masculine, wild an' impulsive, right? / I guess the delinquent look would be a good fit. // Try this on.
Shinzou: As you wish.
Bossun: Bet he comes out in one of those long biker jackets.
[TN: Tokkofuku, the stereotypical getup of Japanese bosozoku biker gangs.]

10
Shinzou: My apologies for the wait!
Bossun: Huh?! / That actually kinda suits him!
Himeko: How d'ya like that?! / I was goin' for a kind of "rocker" feel.
Bossun: Yeah, it's actually not bad! / Nice going, Himeko!
Shinzou: Hahah... I have never worn an outfit like this before, so it is a little embarrassing... // Still, it is an exciting sensation, to step into a whole new world... // Thank you very much for this, Himeko-dono.
Himeko: HOW BIG IS THAT POMPADOUR?!! // SERIOUSLY, HOW BIG?!! / That's HUGE! I mean... seriously! That's freaky!
Shinzou: Well, my hair is rather long, so it just ended up like this...
Bossun: What is it, a hot dog?!! / How does that thing even stay up?!
Switch: I see something poking out of the end.
Shinzou: It is a supporting pole.
Bossun: IT REALLY IS A HOT DOG!!

11
Switch: With such long hair to work with, it would certainly be a shame to waste it. // Leave this to me. // I think the key aspect to emphasise here is the image of a "strong man" that comes so naturally to Shinzou.
Bossun: ...What's he muttering on about now...?
Switch: Hm. / This should do quite nicely.
Himeko: He's really getting into this...
Switch: Let's see what we can do with you!
Shinzou: Very well.
Bossun: Whoa! He's, like, glowing! // Even from behind it's obvious... he's overflowing with confidence!
Himeko: This should be good! / Long hair, an image of strength... what could go wrong?!
Shinzou: Heheheh... // Now, observe... // I'm going to show you something nice and special before you die...

12
Shinzou: THE TRUE ULTIMATE POWER OF VEGINTA-SAMA!!
Bossun: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!!
Shinzou: It's over, K-Ka-Kakorrot...!
Bossun: Get it right!! // Whoa, whoa, whoa, HOLD it! Sure, he looks "strong"... / But you didn't have to turn him into the member of some warrior race!! Where did you even find that outfit?!!
Himeko: The hair! So TALL!
Bossun: Enough with the screwing around already!! All right, I get it... it's up to me to handle this. / That's the deal, right?!
Himeko: All right! / Go get 'em, Bossun!!
Bossun: Okay, so I've gone for a fur-based outfit to really bring out your wild side. / See how this suits you.
Shinzou: Very well.

13
Himeko: AAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! // WHAT THE HELL?!! / WHAT KIND OF OUTFIT IS THIS?! THAT'S JUST SCARY!!
Bossun: Whew... now that's what I call intense!
Himeko: How stupid ARE you?!! // Where's the good in covering up his whole face an' body?!! / If I was meetin' up with a pen-pal and THIS thing showed up, I'd run for the hills!
Bossun: W... Well, I guess you have a point...
Switch: A rather convincing one.
Shinzou: Oh, I can uncover my face if you prefer!
Himeko: That's just... no!!
Bossun: Look... maybe it would be a good idea for you to cut that long hair of yours? / Yeah?
Shinzou: A... All right... / I would not object...
Bossun: It's always best to go all-out and not hold back with stuff like this.
Switch: That's our Bossun. Merciless to the last.
Himeko: Are you not cuttin' that fringe a little too short?

14
Bossun: That stubble too, you'd look smarter clean-shaven.
Himeko: Yeah, that looks good!
Bossun: Let's get those eyebrows nice and sharp... / I mean, what's with that shape you've got going?
Shinzou: W... Wait a minute... why do I get the feeling you are eliminating all of my defining character traits...?
Bossun: As for the clothes, let's keep them simple. / Just stick to basic black, nothing too fancy. // Try these.
Shinzou: Right. // Ahhhh, I think I like these clothes! They're very nice!
Himeko: The hell?! He's Niizuma Eiji now?!!! // Enough with the Jump characters already!!! / Why?! Why does it have to turn out like this?!
Bossun: I think this is the best one we've seen yet.
Himeko: Yeah, but he doesn't look anythin' like Shinzou in the slightest!!
Shinzou: Pi~~~ng. I'm a great swordsman. I'm the best.
Himeko: How is it you're so good at impressions like that anyway?! // Ahh, pull yourselves together already, guys!! / We need an outfit he can actually wear tomorrow!!
Bossun: Oh - what about this Gin-san outfit?
Himeko: That's just goin' full circle back to the Japanese-style stuff!!

15
Himeko: Ahh! / That's nice... real nice!
Switch: I suppose consulting actual fashion magazines was the right choice in the end.
Bossun: Man, you're so tall you can make anything look good...
Shinzou: I could never have done it without you! I will not forget this debt!
Bossun: Yeah, you better not.
Himeko: You're buyin' us a meal.
Bossun: So... is this Megumi-dono of yours not here yet?
Shinzou: I think she should be arriving at any moment... // Ah! I think I see her!!
Bossun: Huh?!
Himeko: Really? Where? Where?!

16
Shinzou: Ah - it looks like she has spotted us as well!
Bossun: Huh?
Megumi: You must be Shinzou-kun!
Shinzou: Yes, I... / Wha?!
Megumi: Nice to meet you! / The name's Megumi Daigorou!♡
Everyone: A... // A GUY~~~~~~~~~~~~?!!

17
Himeko: Th... Those proportions...!! / What the heck?!! This is "Megumi-dono"?!
Megumi: Oh, my... you're just as smart and wild as I imagined!
Shinzou: ..................
Megumi: Well, then... / Shall we get going?
Shinzou: Ah - no - I am afraid there is something I truly must...
Megumi: Oh, listen to you! That way you speak is so sweet!
Shinzou: B... Bossun-dono?! // Bossun-dono~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!
Bossun: ......... // You know... // I think staying true to your beliefs is the main thing after all. / Beliefs. Yeah.
Switch: Agreed.
Himeko: Yeah, he's just not cut out for this kinda stuff. / Just ain't right.
[Insert text: W - Wait, you three... aren't you forgetting someone?!]