Afros of Love and Hate
Only for use by HWMN
I forgot I was gonna put these here.
[Gintama 489 Translation by Kewl0210]
Title: Lesson 489
Afros of Love and Hate
Insert: The purger rings the bell again and again
SFX: PINPO PINPO PINPO PINPO PINPO PINPO PINPO PINPON
Zura: That Master Tsurube-like silhouette...
SFX: PINPOON PINPOON
T/N: Master Tsurube is the nickname of a Japanese actor and comedian. He sometimes has a big afro.
Zura: There's no doubt about it, that's Captain Af-ro!
I can't believe he's been trailing me, Runaway Kotarou, without me so much as suspecting it...!!
Kagura: So he has finally figured out your identity and come for you, yes, Zura?
Gin: Hey, do something. Given the situation, we might get confused for being accesories to terrorists.
Zura: What are you saying, Gintoki?! We are Afro Brothers bound by curly hair, aren't we?!
Gin: Who's hair are you calling an afro?!
SFX: GISHI GISHI
I don't see that afro silhouette any-
Shin: He forced his way in through the other side?!
Gin: Hide Zura! Now!!
Gin: Wh-Wh-Wh-What's the problem, officer...?!
And isn't it kind of... rude to barge into people's houses with an afro like this?!!
Gin: H... Hey, what are you doing?!!
SFX: GARARA KYORO KYORO (Looking around)
Gin: First, please take off that Afro...
Gin: W... We don't grow any suspicious afros in this house!! Please, stop!!
Gin: Hey, you!!
SFX: ZUN ZUN
Gin: Hold it right there.
Gin: I don't care if you're police or whatever, but in the Sakata House, we go by Sakata House laws.
So if you shed any more gross curly hairs in another person's house,
you won't get off with just a pai*n, general.
T/N: They censor out the word "paipan" which means "shaved pubic area."
SFX: DOKUN (Heartbeat)
SFX: DOKUN DOKUN
SFX: DOKUN DOKUN
Guys: He just took a dump and leeeeft!!
What did that guy come here fooor?!!
Kagura: I suppose it was hard to understand because he never talks, but it seems he just came to use our bathroom, yes?
Shin: How more misleading could you be just trying to use someone's bathrooooom?!!
Guy: I guess it was true about how silent the guy is. What he was searching all over for wasn't Zura, it was a bathroom, huh?
Man, how ready-to-burst was that guy? What sorta policeman breaks in like crazy, says nothing, poops, and leaves?!
Kagura: It seems it was not just a poop smell that he left behind.
Note: Written Request
To the Yorozuya-san
Shin: He came to give us a request for a joooob?!
Gin: H-Hey, Zura, is this...
Zura: It looks like Gintoki and the others managed to fool him, but...
That man... it's without question that he is drawing closer to discovering my identity.
Zura: Unit Captain of the Covert Investigations Unit, the Shinsengumi Third Unit, Saitou Shimaru.
As he never talks, I cannot predict what he's thinking.
He is truly... not someone to be trifled with.
Unless I take the initiative, he's certain to eventually expose my identity and purge me.
I must hunt before I am hunted...
Shimaru: To the Yorozuya-san
Please forgive the sudden letter. I am a civil servant working in the capital. I am known as Z.
I send to you this letter anonymously, hoping that you resolve something that has frustrated me and I have kept to myself, not speaking a word of it to anyone, for many yearZ.
Shin: Uh, anonymous? It was pretty obvious who he was. Quite a lot was rather out in the open, actually.
Shimaru: For quite some time now, I've been called taciturn, cool, someone who doesn't engage in idle chatter,
but that is not so. I...
Shimaru: What will happen if I slip up when I'm talking? What if people think my voice is weird? What if people think I'm full of myself if I just suddenly start talking after being silent all this time?
I just get scared and keep quiet because of all the negative things I think of before even opening my mouth. To be honest, I'm just a precious boy that wants to enjoy talking with everyone.
Shin: He's troublllled?! I don't believe it, Captain Af-ro is actually really timiiiid!!
Shimaru: But the more I think about talking with people, the more nervous I get. Just the thought of confronting a person makes my stomach start to hurt and I go to stand in the bathroom Z.
Shin: So that's why he's pooping all the tiiiime?!!
Shimaru: What if everyone thinks I'm going to poop all the time? What if they think even though I keep my mouth shit, that THAT mouth is always talking? What if even though my name means "end" they think I have bad "endings"? I think about all those things and I can't talk Z.
Shin: How delicate is this guy?!
Shimaru: Ironically, I've been chosen due to my tacit nature to conduct covert investigations within our ranks.
And as my levels of silence have increased, the only one I can talk to now is my diary Z.
Within it, I've secretly created a "People I Zestfully Want as my Friends Register". Or "Z-Register" for short, which has been seen by other officerZ.
[Same thing from last week in the panel]
Shin: That's what the Z meaaaant?!
Shimaru: These officers read too deeply into it deserted the unit, and so the people whom I was finally almost able to talk to had to be face judgement Z.
Shin: You're catching stupid and shady people!! I feel bad for you, but you're really well suited to secret investigations!
Shimaru: Even if they are people who've broken the unit's rules, I don't want to cut down comrades anymore.
All of that made me not want to try to make friends anymore.
I gave up on talking, and decided to live a silent, isolated life Z. But then...
that man appeared before me Z.
That man was not timid around me despite my constant silence. And tried bluntly to talk to me on numerous occasions.
That man did not mind at all that I have such a cowardly heart and outspokenly enters into the hearts of people again and again Z.
While the man may be shameless, he is strong Z. When I look at him, I feel reassured Z.
[The text spanning these two panels is Hashira Afurou Z]
This is the only many I can converse with Z. The only one who has ever become my friend is
Hashira Afurou Z.
GUys: Uh, that guy's a Joui Patriot, somebody you seriously should be cutting down right away!!
Shimaru: But I've come to realize I have no idea how to talk to him Z.
I could not converse face-to-face so I would be forever grateful if you could give me advice by letter...
Guys: What's going ooon?!! Forget purging Katsur-san,
this guy hasn't even realized he's an enemy and he's trying to make friends with him!!
Kagura: The person he thought he could finally be friends with turned out to be Zura of all people... I feel bad for Af-ro.
But, I suppose just telling him would be best, yes? And how that idiot has bad intentions and is infiltrating them.
Shin: B... But then Katsura-san will get purged!!
Kagu: But if we do nothing, Af-ro will be erased by Zura, yes?
Shin: Gin-san, what do you think we should do?
Gin: Hmm... This really is a conundrum.
Handwritten: He also attached quite a lot of money to that letter...
Gin: But he did say he didn't want to cut down any more friends.
I don't think we can let Zura or Af-ro get cut down.
So I think the fastest way would be to really get those two to be friends.
Gin: While their groups may be enemies, if we can stir up some emotions in Zura,
he might give up on causing trouble and withdraw from the whole thing.
Shin: C.. Can we do that? They're the Shinsengumi and the Joui Patriots.
And one of them can't talk well while the other one's trying to destroy the organization.
Gin: Who do you think you're talking to? I'm a man who was born from a mouth. A lower one.
Shin: So is everyone!!
Gin: Also, I'm pretty familiar with Zura's personality. I'll manage.
Go get me a paper and pen.
I've looked at your letter and it has conveyed to me your many years of loneliness to me to a painful degree.
However, I feel you may be putting a bit too much pressure on yourself. For someone such as yourself that has maintained silence over many years to suddenly want to become loquacious is a rather unreasonable request of yourself.
And it sounds to me that you haven't heard much of Zura this person'sx story. ["Zura" is X'd out.]
Perhaps rather than wondering what to say, you should first begin by listening to what the other party has to say?
Zura: Captain Saitou.
It's rather low-grade, but I've poured us some tea.
Why not take a short break soon?
...No matter what it takes, I must remove this quickly person and gain the real power of control of the Third Unit.
It's a bit of a dirty tactic, but I'm serving him poison.
This is for a just cause. I'll do whatever I have to.
There's no way he'll suspect his life is being targeted from within the police station.
There's no need to worry. The effects won't start until tomorrow morning when I'm not here. They'll never detect that it was poison.
So rest easy and go to your death, Af-ro!!
Handwritten: Here you are.
Gin: ----Rather than issuing forth words,
listen to what another person has to say, smile and nod.
That alone will establish a conversation.
A smile is, above all, an excellent form of communication in any sort of situation.
Gin: If you're nervous, smile.
Please do not forget that.
Zura: Wh... What the hell is that smilllllllle?!!
C... Could it be that this man...... has figured it oooooout?!!
That can't be... There's no way.
This poison is supposed to have no taste, no scent, and cannot be sensed by the human eye...
B... But that smile.
He knows!! He definitely knows!!
Zura: He's seen through my scheme
Zura: And with a smile, he's openly picking up the gauntlet?!
No... That's not right!! It's my imagination!!
This man isn't even smiling in the first place!! There's no way a smile that creepy could actually exist!
Yeah!! I'm sure his face is just convulsing because he's tired!!
This is the end, Af-rooo!!
Gin: If you listen to what a person has to say, eventually there will be breaks in their story.
When that happens, without trying to forcibly create a conversation, try causing a
Gin: Trouble is
a subject that outrivals any words.
Zura: I... I-I'm terribly sorry!!
The tea was too hot!! I'll go pour some more!!
Gin: His smile was too damn scaryyyyyy!!
We totally failed! Forget making friends, now Zura's even more wary!
I thought that sorta thing would be better seeing as how inexperienced he is with words, but I guess he's inexperienced with smiling, too?
Kagura: What do we do? He sent us a dissatisfied letter.
Letter: Ever since then, I've been endeavoring to smile as you instructed, it seems that people are approaching me even less than previously. I've also had non-stop diarrhea. Did I do something wrong? Did my butt hole do something wrong?
Gin: This is bad. He's scattering that smile everywhere... and he's getting even more isolated.
Damn. No choice.
Let's move on to the next step.
It's actually rather difficult to consciously create conversations for small talk, but when met with necessity, conversations can form quite naturally.
A prime example of which is talking about work. As he is a newcomer and you are his superior, there must be many things regarding work he would like to ask you.
Draw him away from work and try answering some of his questions.
There's no need to try to get liven things up, just start with answering his questions.
Shin: Gin-san, having him pull him away from work is a good idea, but Katsura-san is seriously on guard right now.
If he's too wary, he won't ask any questions.
Kagura: By the way, what job does that guy even do outside covert investigations?
Gin: Well, anyhow, if he's gonna be working there, he'll have to talk whether he likes it or not.
Shin: He can't even speaaaaaaak!!
This is awfuuuuul!! Elizabeth-san got captured without us knowiing!!
And apparently Saitou-san is also in charge of tortuuuure!!
Also, uh, why is he also wearing a Shinsengumi uniform?
Was he, uh, also trying to infiltrate them? Did he seriously not think he'd get caught?
Forget talking, now Katsura-san is going to explode!
Zura: What a nice sandbag you've got here!
Shin: He just totally abandoned him!!
Zura: Where did you find this?!
I want one, too!
SFX: GAH GA HN HN
Zura: Damn you, Af-ro. Did you think this was enough to entrap me?!
Did you think that I would expose myself if I saw Elizabeth?
How naieve!! I will not lose sight of my just cause due to such a thing!!
Elizabeth, now is the time to endure!! I promise, I will avenge yo-
SFX: OO OOOO
What is this...?
Sign: Z-Beth's Feeding Duty Schedule
Sun. Hashira [All the days are bold and in the left column. Names in the right column. Last one is cut off on the bottom.]
Shin: He's keeping him as a peeeeeet?!
SFX: MOGU MOGUSOA
Shin: I thought he'd captured Elizabeth and was torturing him, but this guy is keeping him as a pet?!!
Shimaru: Good boy.
Eliz: HE~~Y HE~~Y
Shin: And Elizabeth's gotten really attached to him!!
These two silent-types struck a common bond!!
Zura: It... It can't beeee!!
Elizabeth has won him over even better than me in such a short time?!
Y... You're kidding, right, Elizabe-
SFX: PEH BICHA
Zura: It can't be.
It can't be truuuuuue!!
Shin: What is that guy doiiiing?!
Forget throwing the Shinsengumi into disarray from the inside, you're the one who's in disarray here!!
Well, maybe this is for the best.
It might've been impossible for the Shinsengumi and Joui Patriots to become buddies from the get-go.
Now Zura will have learned his lesson and withdraw from the Shinsengumi.
And Af-ro has probably given up on his goal, too.
It's all good.
Let's get going...
SFX: FAAN FAAN FAAN
Gin: What's all that noise?
Shin: Ah, it's the Shinsengumi.
Was there some kind of incident?
Gin: Maybe some idiot Joui Patriot tried to infiltrate one of their units or something.
Shin: It's been a month since then. I'm sure there aren't any there at this point.
Did the Shinsengumi always have this many guys with afros?
Zura: Shinsengumi Third Unit,
the Afro Unit, charge!!
Right Insert: Next week, the results for the all-character general election for the right to appear on the cover of Weekly Jump will be announced!!
Left Insert: That guy is on the cover of Jump?!
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