Only for use by HWMN
Seriously, how can the gorilla keep writing this long...
[Gintama 491 Translation by Kewl0210]
Insert: From Shimaru's internal investigation diary---
Shimaru: Month ○ Day ×
I heard a noise coming from the mess hall in the middle of the night, so I went to investigate Z.
Insert: ☆The June issue of Saikyou Jump on sale 5/2 (Fri.) at a retail price of 500 yen (tax included)
will come with a Miracle Cardass "Sakata Gintoki" card!!
Kondou: Hm, I guess I just make a cut right here.
Shimaru: The Chief was cooking buck naked Z.
Handwritten: This isn't working.
How many of these things have I gone through now?
Shimaru: The next day on the mess hall lunch menu
there were konjac gels with a strange cuts in them.
But everyone enjoyed eating them...
T/N: Konjac is a plant that's made into a gel which is used for cooking things like oden.
Kondou: I will now pass judgement.
Saitou Shimaru is innocent.
Court is adjourned!
Guys: LIKE HELL IT IIIIIIS!!
What the hell did you do to those konjac geeeeels! Chieeeeef!!
Don't tell me that you used those konjacs for...
Okita: Weren't you bastards listening? He said the court's adjourned.
If you keep raising suspicions about Big Bro Shimaru, we're not just gonna sit quietly about it.
Hiji: Y-Yeah. It didn't sound like there were any particular violations of unit laws in what he mentioned earlier, either. And he seemed quite diligent about performing his duties.
I don't see anything that could be inquiring about.
Someone: Why're you suddenly on Captain Saitou's side?! You violated unit rules in front of him, didn't you?! You've been slurping mayonnaise night after night, haven't you?!
Okita: We've been Big Bro Shimaru's allies from the beginning.
I do hope you're not saying that you seriously doubted Big Bro Shimaru... your own comrade? What a despicable bunch you are.
Guys: Well, we've got one despicable guy around here that tries to poison his own comrade!!
Kondou: Would you guys quit it...? That's enough fighting among comrades... We've scarred each other enough with this whole affair.
Guys: And you scarred those konjac gels enough yourself!!
No, seriously, my major gripe is with that konjac thing!!
Cough it up!! What the hell were you doing with those konjac gels?!!
Zura: Guh... Damn you, Af-ro.
SFX: GYAA GYAA
Zura: I did not expect you to use the weaknesses of your allies which you learned through your internal investigations to make them your allies.
You've evaded the issue. Now everyone has lost interest in this man's crimes. I never suspected that this man was this cunning.
Zura: But I cannot let it end like that!
It is as everyone says!! This very state of affairs is proof of Captain Saitou's wrong doing!!
This man has used the privileges of secret investigation and the title of internal investigator to grab hold of officers' weaknesses! Now, even the top brass are putty in his hands!
The root of all evil is this man, Saitou Shimaru!!
Let us all pass judgement on him together! Him, the dirty traitor to the Shinsengumi!
It is true that my job of secret investigations allows me to have information on everyone which no one else knows.
Howeeever! But I have no such thing thing as use this information to threaten others!
These things which I have said in this court of law I have only said because I have been told to do so.
In all honesty, I would rather have never spoken them aloud and kept it all to myself.
However, if the court is going to continue,
I will have to speak in order to prove my own innocence.
That includes the secrets of those over there
as well as yours, over there...
Guys: Okay, great job everyone! Dismiiiissed!!
SFX: Good job!! ZAH
Zura: Just how shady are the secrets you guys have?!!
Guy: The Chief is right. Even if we keep attacking each other,
it's just us that're going to get hurt, not Captain Saitou. All that'll happen is the Shinsengumi will fall apart.
Zura: What the hell kind of police are you?!
I will not accept this!!
Zura: This man called me a Joui Patriot of all things!!
For me to back down now would be to disgrace myself as a warrior!!
Chief!! Please order me to purge this traitor!!
Kondou: C... Calm down, Hashira-san!!
I know it's hard to accept, but this man's head will stay attached!!
And Hashira-san, it hasn't been decided that Shimaru is a traitor or anything like that...
Hiji: Then why don't you give the order to the other side?
Hiji: And tell him to purge the traitor.
Hiji: I'm tired of hearing all this jumbled shit.
Hiji: Everyone here has the resolve to live and die by the sword.
So no one's going to accept a decision if it was made on someone just speaking better.
If you have something you want to say, then tell it with the sword.
The one that loses is the traitor.
And the one that wins is in the right.
That makes it all really easy to understand, right?
With that sword,
prove your own justice.
Prove the justice of the Third Unit Captain.
Insert: Which is the true Afro---?!
Title: Lesson 491
Afurou and Af-ro
Author: Sorachi Hideaki
Hiji: That's how
the Shinsengumi is.
Zura: Hmph... Interesting.
Zura: Now we can settle
our match from back then, I suppose.
Shin: Gin-saaaan!! This is bad!!
Hashira-san and Saitou-san are......
They really started sword fighting!!
SFX: KAAN KAAN KAAN
Shin: Hashira-san is being serious!!
And Saitou-san is...
fighting a defensive battle!!
SFX: GA GOH KIIN
Gin: What is that bastard doing? Don't tell me that even after all this time...
SHimaru: This is the only many I can converse with Z. The only one who has ever become my friend is
Hashira Afurou Z.
Gin-chan, what are you doing? Lend me that, yes?
Kagura: We need hurry and say the right lines here... He's still promised to move in a way that goes with the words we say.
Gin: Huh?! So the reason he's not fighting back is because he's waiting for our lines?! Is that guy an idiot?!
Kagura: Never mind, just give it!
Fuhahahaha! Hashira!! Is that all your sword is?!
That sword could be stopped by a fly! You won't be cutting a fly or me with those techniques!
Shin: He moved!! He finally moved!!
Kagura: Just watch! Now it is my tuuurn!!
Shin: This isn't the time for cutting fliiiiies!!
SFX: BUUUN (BZZ)
Shin: He somehow misinterpreted that line!!
Gin: Oh, sorry. I mistook a big fly like you for a household fly.
Gin: There's no big difference between you and a fly to me.
Zura: Just how much do you intend to mock me?!!
Gin: It is your turn next!!
Shin: No, it's not Katsura's tuuuuurn!!
Why're you joining into the fly-swatting thiiing?!!
Zura: I've won. I cut three of them.
Shin: What the hell sorta contest is this, you guys?!!
Gin: Now that we've tidied up those annoying flies,
the real battle will begin!! It is now time to clean you up!!
Zura: I guess we can bury it around here.
Shin: What the hell are you two cleaning uuuup?!!
Zura: We don't want to step in poop in the middle of our battle, do we?!
Or so I'd have you think~! Your back is wide open, Saitoooou!!
Shin: Dammit! It was a trap!!
Gin: Too bad! It is not me who is wide open!!
Zura: Ah, you're right. This is wide open so it'll be easy to bury the poop.
Shin: There's a lot of wide-open space inside your skulls!!
Zura: But the one who will be buried in a hole in the ground will be you, Saitou!!
Kagura: We can win this here!
Let me have that, yes, Gin-chan!!
You've fallen for my trap, Hashira!! Now suffer the Af-ro-style secret technique...
The Z Cuuuut!!
...Uh, from where I'm standing, it looks like he doesn't know how to use the Z Cut.
Kagura: Take this, the Z CUUUUT!!
Yeah, I really don't think it's gonna work. Uh, Kagura, did you discuss what this Z Cut thing is with him beforehand?
Kagura: The Z Cut is the Z Cut.
Gin: Could you explain it in a way that's a little easier to understand?
Kagura: As a souvenir to bring with you to the underworld, I will tell you! The "Z Cut" is a Z-sort of cut technique.
Do you think that you can dodge the Z Cut?!!
Gin: Uh, he can't use that. Now the enemy knows what he's going to do before he even uses the technique.
Kagura: Then take this, the Z Wave!!
Gin: Uh, okay, what's the Z Wave?
Kagura: As a souvenir to bring with you to the underworld, I will tell you! The Z Wave is a technique where a Z-like wave that comes from your hand!
Gin: Uh, he really can't use that! Even the Z Cut would be better than that!
Kagura: Then eat this, the Z-kai!
Gin: Will you just make some seeense?!! What is the Z-kai?!
Kagura: As a souvenir to bring with you to the underworld, I will tell you! The Z-Kai is the where one rids themselves of all of this world's worldly desires reaching a Z state of nirvana!
Gin: He's already using the Z-Kaiiiiiii!!
T/N: The "kai" comes from the first kanji of "gedatsu" meaning "reaching nirvana".
Shin: Your explanation of special techniques took too long and he entered Z-Kai!! This is really bad!! Now he's totally open to attack!!
Zura: Th... This is Z-Kai?!
He seems to be sleeping and defenseless, but he is actually in an "empty stance" that can swallow any attack!
SFX: YURARI YURARI (swaying)
Shin: He read way too deep into it!!
Kagura: Come at me however you please! I'll see your next move even with my eyes closed!
Zura: Somehow it feels like he really can see me!!
Th... This isn't good. He may seem open, but he actually has no openings at all.
Shin: No, he's really got nothing but openings!
Zura: If I attack, then I will be swallowed up by the emptiness and lose my life. Then in that case...
This is my only choiiiice!!
Shin: What the hell's gonna happen if you go into Z-Kai, too?!!
Guys: Th... That's a battle between two masters... It's so quiet it's almost like the two of them are sleeping.
Shin: No, these guys are seriously just sleeping! What the hell kind of showdown is this?! How are we gonna know who won?!
Darn... I can't sleep.
Shin: Well, yeah!! You're on a battlefield!
Zura: I'll have to Z-Kai this as well.
Shin: You can Z-Kai thaaaat?!
Zura: Mm. Now I feel like I can reach the state of Z.
I think I can see some good Z's.
Guys: Oh, we get it.
SFX: ZAH ZAH
Guys: Then you can just
stay in Z-Kai forever.
SFX: GEHO GOHOH GEHO
Zura: Just a little further and I would have taken over the Shinsengumi! How dare you have divulged my true identity!
Shin: You totally just dug your own grave back there!!
Zura: Thanks to your meddling, I could not achieve my first goal, but I have a second formation!
Eliz: All ready, Katsura-san.
Zura: UHAHAHAHA! Elizabeth could never be tamed by the likes of you!
Zura: While your attention was focused on me,
he's been planting bombs all over the police station!
Now with this single detonation switch, all of your efforts with be reduced to rubble along with your station!
Shin: S... Saitou-san... he acted without us giving him any lines...!!
Gin: It looks like
he doesn't need our words anymore.
Have you found the words to say to him,
Zura: Let's go, Elizabeth!!
Leave disposing the bombs to us!
We need you to follow him....
follow the traitor!!
The Third Unit Captain
Shimatu: ---To the Yorozuya-san,
you have my greatest thanks for helping me face these troubles
that I have carried on my own for so long Z.
Shimaru: Taking your advice, I put in a lot of effort in my own way,
but it seems that it's not possible for me to talk unreservedly with someone after all Z.
I just get too nervous when confronting others Z.
The right words just never come to mind Z.
But that no longer feels as painful as it did before Z.
I may have not exchanged many words with others in my life up to this point,
but in exchange for words, I have exchanged
many swords with people Z.
Sometimes with friends,
sometimes with enemies,
sometimes with worthy rivals,
I put the bare, open emotions of words in my sword and we strike back and forth Z.
Thinking back on it now, that battlefield was
a place where I communicated more than I perhaps could have with thousands of words Z.
Therefore, I have decided that I cannot run from the battlefield Z.
So even if I must use this sword to cut down a comrade that has violated unit laws,
Shimaru: or I must use this sword
to cut down the person I thought would be my first friend,
each and every one of these echoing sword strikes
will be the one form of words I speak to them.
SFX: POCHAN POCHAN
You won't be able to keep up with me anymore with that leg.
now my plan has fallen through as well.
Zura: So I suppose... it's another tie.
Hiji: Hey, Shimaru. It looks like we managed to prevent the bombs Katsura planted from detonating.
But we're not done. There's one huge time bomb that's still active.
It's got wires marked from A to Z, but we don't know which one to cut.
You've got to catch Katsura and make him cough it up.
Zura: Cut all of the wires except Z.
It is my job to cut "Z".
I won't let this all end in a tie.
Saitou Shimaru... I promise I will cut the Z that is you with my own hands.
Until then, don't forget to try your utmost to groom that Afro!
Hiji: Hey, Shimaru! There's no time, hurry!
They go from A to Z, which do we cut?!
Hiji: Hurry, tell us!!
Hey, Shimaru, can you hear me?!
Hiji: Say something!!
Hiji: Okay, cut the Z wire!!
SFX: ZUGAGA PII ZAZAZAZA
SFX: GARA GARA PUSU PUSU
Guys: We ended up with real afros, dammiiiiit!!!
SFX: HIRA PASA
Paper: Hashira Afurou Z
Insert: A Z symbol has been added---!!