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Gintama 600

Your Abs Won't be Ripped but Your Ass Will Be

en
+ posted by kewl0210 as translation on Aug 22, 2016 06:07 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 600

Only for use by HWMN


And 2AM this time, yay... Slightly better...

[Gintama 600 Translation by Kewl0210]
Page 1:
Title: 'Gintama'
Insert: To the negotiation with the Liberation Army...!!
Amanto: Did I mishear?
Do you perhaps believe you could have finished off the Tendoushuu without our help?
That is simply...
Nobu: They could.
I've tasted it from my own experiences.
And they were quite bitter experiences at that.
Saying it as their enemy, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt.
I'll give you my advice,
do not
make these people your enemy.
And
could I use your bathroom......
SFX: MISHIH MEKIH

Page 2:
Both: Clench your butt hole. This is do-or-die for both you and the Earth.
Guy: ------Hoh.
You seem to hold your country's people in quite high esteem.
So essentially, your country could take care of the Tendoushuu on your own,
so you want us, the Liberation Army,
to get lost,
is that correct?
Insert: Who is this...?!
Title: Lesson 600
Your Abs Won't be Ripped but Your Ass Will Be
Author: Sorachi HIdeaki

Page 3:
Zura: Admiral Shijaku.
One of the leaders that first started the Liberation Army and an expert Admiral.
A major one's come out of the woodwork.
Nobu: A major one's gonna come out of me, too!
SFX: GUKYURURURURURU
Shi: But we cannot withdraw. The issue of the Tendoushuu is not a problem of your country alone.
It is by their hands that many of the planets of my comrades here right now were destroyed.
This battle for ending the Association's long rule and taking back our freedom
is the dearest desire as well as the thesis of we, the people of the universe.
Would the best way to deal with this problem not be to join hands and form one unit,
people of Earth?

Page 4:
Shi: Or do you perhaps intend to ally yourselves with the Tendoushuu
and fight our Liberation Army as well?
The Tokugawa Bakufu has long been puppets for the Tendoushuu.
After that long rule, I thought they would have already lost their backbone,
but the fact that they've come here show that they have a surprisingly decent amount of pride.
----But
they are not even trying to hide their fear.
I can't blame them. Turning the entire universe into your enemy and pleading a case for your country
is not something anyone could do.
Is it okay to take your lace of a response as an acceptance of us?
We are not trying to devour your country. We wish to win its freedom alongside you.
Surrender yourself to your fear!
You should know how meaningless trying to resist will be.
In the end, no matter how far you go,
it is your fate to keep dancing as a puppet.
Nobu: ......What freedom?
Shi: !

Page 5:
Nobu: Is the freedom you seek
to steal the freedom of other planets
to purely advance your own?
That is not the fight we Samurai engage in.
That is not the freedom we seek.
True freedom
is the ability to go
to the bathroom whenever you...
Saka: Just let it our whenever you want.
We've got spare pampers here for you.

Page 6:
Shi: Has he lost his mind?
At this point, he still hasn't backed down from his confidence?
So in other words, you intend to make enemies out of our Liberation-
Nobu: My god you're long-winded!!
Do not... make me say the same thing over and oveeer!!
If you want to cooperate with us in defeating the Tendoushuu, then be my guest!! But if you want to have your way with our country under the name of cooperation, then we will defeat you, too! Okay, that's it!! Yes, we're done here!!
SFX: ZEE HUU ZEE HUU
Shi: Not only is he not asking for help,
he's trying to halt negotiations himself?
Nobu: Okay then, we're leaving!
Yes, let's go, men!
SFX: BURU BURU (SHaking)
Shi: Is he not afraid?
...No, he is undoubtedly afraid. But that is......
SFX: GAH
Saka: Not yet.
Zura: Spit out everything, not just from your ass.
Shi: a fear pointed not at us,
but at something else.
Shi: Wait! Shougun-dono!!
Nobu: Enough alreadyyyy!!
SFX: GATAH

Page 7:
Nobu: If you...
try to keep me here any longer
I'll... fire.
Guys: F...
Fire?!
Did he say firrrrrre?!!
You bastard, what are you... You don't mean?!!

Page 8:
Guys: D-Don't mooove!! Arrest those men!
You have been concealing something!! What are you planning?!!
Nobu: Hmph.
It's no use.
It's too late... for everything.
There's no stopping it now.
No one can... Not even me...
Guys: Wh... What?!
What is he saying?!! What's he intending to fire?!!
Missiles fired on a timer?!! Interplanetary ballistic missiles?!! A-Answer!!
Guys: No.
It's poop.
Nobu: Planning? The ones that drove me to this are none other than yourselves.
Shi: Everyone, calm down!
Guys: Admiral!!

Page 9:
Shi: Is this what you were so afraid of?
Shogun, was this your trump card all along?
Nobu: I gave numerous warning signs.
You all simply failed to notice them.
Shi: So this was a last resort you did not want to use?
What will happen when it fires? Is the target this mothership, the Amenotori Shop? ["it" in italics]
Nobu: Knowing would not help a thing. I just...
could not wipe away that stain no matter how hard I wiped. It will probably remain with me even into the next life.
Guys: He cannot take responsibility.
A weapon that will leave a scar even in the next world?
Does he mean...
a nuclear bomb?!
Guys: No.
It's poop.

Page 10:
Guys: Th... This can't be! We searched every nook and cranny of the ship they came in on and we've been monitoring them!
Earth's main weapons and armies should be suppressed. Just where is something like that...
Nobu: There's 3 minutes left until firing.
Guys: !!
Nobu: 1... 2... 3...
Hurry, get out of here!!
Guys: !! It-It can't be!
It's inside his stomach?!
I've heard of this.
The Earth samurai have weapons in their stomachs.
They say it's used when they're prepared to commit suicide and it rivals the power of a nuclear bomb!
Shi: I see. So that is the lethal weapon of the Samurai?
The Bowelcut.
Guys: No.
It's a bowel movement.

Page 11:
Guys: Bowelcut?! Wh-What is that exactly...?!!
I don't know the specifics, but
sensing from that posture, there's some transformation happening with something building up in his stomach. It makes it seem like this is a weapon that is going to come out from his anus in some form.
Guys: No,
that's pretty much poop you're describing.
Guys: Then how in the world do we stop it?!
I can't say for the specifics,
but it would seem that if you get a lot of fiber in your diet, because of how smoothly is passes through, the force of each burst can be abated.
Guys: No,
that's literally poop you're describing.
Guys: It... It's a bluff! There's no way something on the level of a nuclear bomb could come out of a dumb-looking pose like that!
Ignore the threat, capture him!!
Nobu: Stop, not there!
SFX: GAH
SFX: PUSU
SFX: DO DO
Guys: J... Just by getting close to him...
It... It's the real deal!! It's a real Bowelcut!!
SFX: HI-HIIIIIH!!

Page 12:
Shi: Take shelter immediately!!
SFX: WAAAA
Guys: Sound the primary alarm!!
Alert all ships to distance themselves from the Amenotori Ship at once!
SFX: GASHAN
Guys: A... Admiral!!
What are you doing?!
Shi: Go, quickly!
An admiral cannot abandon his ship and flee.
Guys: Admiral!!
Shi: Shogun, It seems that we underrated you earthlings.
I never imagined you came to these negotiations willing to end your own life.
So you came here risking your life to stop a meaningless conflict?
It is for that reason you recommended that we, the Liberation Army, withdraw from Earth.
And that is the reason that while you were prepared for death, you feared using the bowelcut.
That resolve is truly admirable.

Page 13:
Shi: I did not show proper respect to someone who possesses such resolve.
On my planet it is proper attitude to answer those prepared to risk their lives with risking one's own life.
So I, too, will risk my life in an attempt to stop a meaningless conflict,
to stop your Bowelcut.
The true negotiations
start now.
SFX: ZAU
Guys: Admiral!!
Is... Is that a reverse Bowelcut?!
Guys: Wh-What's a Reverse Bowelcut?!
I don't know the specifics, but it seems that most likely he intends to use a Bowelcut to collide with the other Bowelcut so they cancel them out.
The Admiral can use the Bowelcut?!
I don't know, but...
Right now... it definitely looks like something is going to come out!!
This is... This is...!!
SFX: OOOOOOO

Page 14:
Guys: No,
it's poop.
SFX: BURYU MORI MORI MORI MORI MORI (LEAKING)
Guys: ..........
...Admiral?
What did the Admiral do?
Did something happen?
Shi: ..........Um,
could I...... ask you something?

Page 15:
Shi: What is
a Bowelcut?
Nobu: I dunno.
Shi: R-Right!
I mean, I knew that! Yup. Of course that's not anything real, yeah.
Um,
it looks like they still don't know.
Please don't
say anything, will you?
Nobu: ...I don't mind.
But in exchange...
Shi: I know. I will talk over the matter of the negotiations with everyone.
Nobu: No, before that,
please, won't you let me use a bathroom?

Page 16:
Both: Go use it all ya want!!
SFX: DON
SFX: BURIH
Narr: As a result of today's negotiations
the stance of the Liberation Army has temporarily softened.
The rebellions that had risen all over Edo met with peaceful resolutions.
The armies across the city agreed to various disciplinary measures,
but they did not go as far withdrawing the troops stationed on Earth.
But...

Page 17:
Narr: the greatest boon from this whole affair may have been
that we gained a reliable ally within the Liberation Army.
Shi: ........Don't say anything.
Nobu: Same to you.
Shirt: Rogue Admiral
Shi: No matter what, okay?
Nobu: Same to you. No matter what.
Shirt: Rogue Shogun
Both: So that's how things are here.
We weren't able to completely end the war, but as a first step, I'd say it went okay.
So, what do you think of our negotiating skills?
Shin: No,
they're poop.
Insert: Poop negotiations.
Bottom: Gintama
...Lesson 600
/ End


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