Only for use by HWMN
[Gintama 671 Translation by Kewl0210]
Top Right Big: What is a Final Fantasy?
Middle Text: The phenomenon often seen in manga nowadays where when the series is nearing its final chapters, the characters in the manga start to form couples.
Left Insert: Who is this that has appeared before Shinpachi...?
Girl: I finally
Title: Lesson 671 Revolutionary
Author: Sorachi Hideaki
Girl: I've been looking for you
for so long.
I've so wanted to meet you.
Shin: ...It's happened.
Shin: The Final Fantasy
has bared its fangs at meeeee!!!
Otose: My God, Shinpachi!!
Shin: No, don't jump to any conclusions, Otose-san!!
Cath: It could not be, you...
Shin: No, you've got it all wrong, Catherine-san!!
Cath: What do I have wrong?!! At some point in time... when no one was paying attention... you... changed your hairstyle to look more attractiiiive!!!
Shin: What?! What's going on now has nothing to do with my hair style!!
OTose: You certainly have grown up in those 2 years the readers weren't watching, haven't you?
But you did what you did, so you're going to have to take responsibility.
Shin: Noo!!! I don't know anything about...
This is a trap!! The Final Fantasy is trying to ensnare me!!
Cath: Do not try to act dumb! You were the only one doing any ensnaring!
Shin: A... And if anything like that did happen in the past two years,
it would be really weird for the child to be this big already, right?!!
Daddy, is it because I'm weird that you won't be my Daddy?
Shin: No, that's not what I meant! Uh, wait, no, I guess it is what I meant?!
Cath: You are just despicable!! Not only did you change your whole image when nobody was looking, but you are even making children cry?!!
Shin: No, that's not what...
Cath: Then let us see some proof!!
If you will go so far to deny it, then you must have some way to prove your innocence!!
Shin: Er, well...
SFX: PAKU PAKU (Mouth opening and closing)
Cath: Ya see?! I knew you this guy was guilty!!
Shin: I'm a virgin.
SFX: BOSO (WHISPER)
Shin: In these two years... I shifted the part in my hair over little by little to change my image without anybody noticing,
but my lower half...
still has a buzz cut, drinking Ramune at the neighborhood candy store.
Otose: Yeah, we know.
Shin: Then why'd you have to make me say iiiit?!!
Cath: We just got annoyed that you are acting like you grew up in those two years and parted your hair like that despite being a cherry.
Shin: Then maybe I aught to just make that a buzz cut, too, dammit!!
T/N: Cherry = slang for male virgin.
Girl: Mommy~~ They said that man is a cherry!!
Shin: Heyyyyy! Now look what you went and made the kid hear!!
Girl: Hey, Mommy, what's a cherry?
Can cherries not be daddies?
Kin: Well, a cherry is a being that has abandoned the primary directive of an organism which is to procreate. In other words, a piece of junk.
Make sure you add that to your data, okay?
Kin: And like I've told you over and over,
this isn't your Mommy, she's you.
Shin: Tama-san. Kin-san.
In the two years since then
most of the machines that turned into hunks of junk in order to protect this planet
have been repaired and returned to normal,
but no matter how I try to fix her,
that one just won't open her eyes.
Gengai: She's an irregular robot that was originally made by that genius, Hayashi Ryuuzan.
Even with all my skill, there are still probably parts of her I can't entirely understand.
If I were to describe the problem,
it would be that there may be screws that my screwdriver won't reach,
that logic won't extend to, and are invisible.
So she's kind of a different build from us machines that a boorish old man built.
she took as much of the burden on herself as she could
in order to keep the damage done to us machines as minimal as possible.
Otherwise forget hunks of junk, we'd be piles of metallic cinders.
Compared to her, we're a bunch of poorly-put-together plastic models.
She's not the kind of thing you can fix by the turn of a screw.
But while we were pondering if there was anything we could do,
we came up with this little one.
"Fuyou" Unit 01-Mini.
We call her Tamako.
Kin: We placed a copy of Tama inside her.
Of course, we don't have the ability to copy all of Tama,
but because she's been formatted, she doesn't have any memories. So her data is full of holes.
Gengai: But we can't bring ourselves to just let this one sleep.
So we wanted to get whatever out even if it was a copy or whatever.
We wanted to show her the Edo she protected.
That's why Tamako was born. While Tama is sleeping, she'll be Tama's eyes.
Someday when she wakes up, what Tamako has seen will become what Tama has seen.
It would be unfair for her to be the only one not having any memories from all that time.
Shin: Well I wish you'd just said so to begin with... She mistook who I was and was calling my Daddy or something...
Gengai: That's not necessarily incorrect...
Tama the machine was mad by Ryuuzan,
but Tama the friend was made here with you all.
I have no idea what screw Tama is missing right now,
if that noisy bunch were here in Edo now,
she might actually wake up, bein' unable to sleep with all the ruckus.
Someone: I know.
here in Edo anymore.
And even if they were, something as convenient as that probably wouldn't happen.
But still, we're lucky.
In this city of Edo
there is still someone who will solve whatever trouble you might have;
Shin: ---So in the end,
it's like I really did suddenly have a kid.
Um... so what exactly did Gengai-san want me to do?
Tamako: While Fuyou Unit 01 is sleeping, you are to gather as much data for me as possible.
When Unit 01 awakens, that data will be restored into her memory. To summarize, shoe me lots of different things, Daddy-sama.
Shin: Um, could we nix the Daddy thing? Also, you really do talk like Tama-san, don't you?
Tama: My apologies for earlier. That was a plan to leech off you to get oil to eat for free.
It was Kintoki-sama's suggestion, but it would seem the "nobleman's illegitimate child" plan would not work on you, Cherry-sama.
Shin: And would you knock it off with the cherry stuff! And I can't believe they did all that just to save some money on their oil bill!!
Tama: But he told me you would definitely take me in.
He said because the Yorozuya is a bunch of perverts that always keep have a girl with them.
Shin: What the hell does that guy think of us?!
Tama: But it is quite strange, when everyone talks about the Yorozuya,
even when they're disparaging, they sound somewhat lonely.
I heard that you broke up, but please give me data as to why.
Shin: How about you add this to your data? Don't ask such blunt questions to people you only just met.
Tama: Then would you please give me data on the chances of the Yorozuya reforming?
Shin: Did you not hear what I just said?
Tama: why is that?
Shin: ...Because everyone had things they needed to do.
Tama: So did all of the others leave here because they had something they had to do besides being Yorozuya?
And the reason you stayed was because you did not have anything besides being a Yorozuya that you needed to do, Shinpachi-sama?
the ball's in your court.
Is there anything
you want to do?
Yeah, there was.
I wanted to help out with restoring the city,
to train myself in the sword,
to keep active in Otsuu-chan's Imperial Guard,
I want to
restore my father's dojo!!
So you're finally gonna follow through with that, huh?
sure is a lot, ain't it?
I'll be okay.
Shin: Go ahead, go do what you need to do.
---I had lots of things I both had to
and wanted to do.
I thought I did,
why am I still doing things like this?
Guy: Ah, you there, hold up.
Guy: Pardon me,
could I talk to you for a minute?
Um... are you two... siblings?
Guy: Then are you father and daughter? That's not it, is it?
Shin: Uh, well... we're sorta friends I guess?
Guy: With that big a difference in ages?
Shin: Huh? I'm being questioned by the police just for walking around with a little kid?
Guy: Ah, I'm sorry. Supervision has been very strict since the new government formed.
Just as per regulations, would you mind blowing into this a bit?
Shin: Huh? But I haven't been drinking.
Guy: And we'd like to see some identification please.
Shin: Um... I'm sorry, but the thing is, this girl... is actually a robot girl.
I'm just sorta temporarily taking care of her, er, no...
Guy: The hallucinogenic symptoms seem to be progressing quite a bit.
Yes, no doubt about it, this guy's using.
Shin: Uh, how much exactly am I being suspected of?!
Guy: Ah, you're past the specified value.
Shin: Uh, but I really haven't been drinking. Or doing anything strange.
Guy: Do you understand? When you go past this grade it means
you're a virgin.
Shin: What kind of examination is thiiis?!!
How can you tell the power level of my lower half by me breathing?!
Guy: Over the age of 18, going around with a small girl you're not related to?
Arrested for unlawful possession of being a pedophile.
WAAAAAIT!! Just how heavy-handed are you police?!!
You're not serious, are you?!!
SFX: ZUZUZU (DRAGGING)
Shin: Someone, help-
Someone: Please wait.
Someone: What are you people doing?
Do you know
who that is?
Nobu: That is one of the heroes that saved this country.
That's not someone you newcomers can judge.
Nobu: Will this end in seppuku?
SFX: PARA PARA
Nobu: Or will it end with you being cut down by me,
Director of Police, Imai Nobume?
Make your decision, pedophile hero.
Soyo: While we've arrived at a new era, Edo is still bound by some old customs.
First on that list is the low social status of women.
In this upcoming era, I want to make a society of people that can each flourish on their own
so much that the women aren't beat out by the men.
Soyo: And most of all, I'll need at least that much resolve
for a girl like me to run this country while contending with crafty political enemies.
Nobume-san is a symbol of such women.
As the first female director of police, she has been handed the task of strengthening the foundation for our new era.
I'm going to sweep away all of the powers and violence used to oppress women
in order to pave the way for a world where everyone can be free.
What do you think, Shinpachi-san?
The new government's police sure seem reliable, don't they?
mind if I ask a question?
Is there no police in the new government that'll sweep away powers and violence that oppress men?
I kinda wanna call 110 right now.
T/N: 110 is the emergency number in Japan.
Soyo: I'm not entirely sure I understand what you mean.
Shin: Look at me, isn't it obvious, you natural sadist?!
I got treated like a pedo and arrested just for walking around with a little girl!! Please, do something!!
Soyo: Huh? You were arrested? I think there must be some mistake.
Nobume: We have no jails for putting pedophiles in. Deposing of the criminal immediately after arrest is the law of the new government.
Shin: What kind of law is that?!!
Nobume: I heard about the circumstances from Tamako. As an apology, we requested he clean the windows.
Shin: I-I'm undergoing this punishment as an apology, you bastards?!! There's no future for the men in this country anymore!!
Tamako: So this is the Edo that Unit 01 protected...? I will add it to my data.
Shin: Heeey! Don't show Tama-san stuff like this!
And anyhow, Nobume-san, are you really cut out for a job like director of police?!
Nobu: I have no interest in power. But I could not simply abandon the princess.
Shin: You look like you're getting pretty used to the whole power thing to me!
Nobu: We fought through the war and crushed Utsuro's ambitions,
but this country has not escaped destruction yet.
We're still a weakened country facing pressure for foreign countries,
and there's discord with remnants of the former government.
If we let our guard down, the country will fall to pieces again.
Especially if we throw the princess alone into that band of old foxes in the Bakufu.
The new country we fought so hard to raise would be snatched away then and there.
Against opponents like them... yes.
and having a cynical disposition is best.
So until those foxes settle down,
I intend to put up with sitting in this chair despite how uncomfortable it is.
Shin: Um, how are the Shinsengumi doing?
They did so much, I would think it's reasonable for them to be on the course for success, right?
SFX: FUKI FUKI (WIPING)
Shin: I know Kondou-san married a gorilla and resigned,
but what about everyone else?
Matsu: It is certainly true...
Matsu: that their swords cut open the pathway to a new era.
But while a sword that cuts too far is strength in turbulent times,
it's always hated in peaceful times.
Shin: Sir Matsudaira!!
Matsu: It's quite ironic.
Though they opened the door to the new era,
Matsu: they were hated by that new era.
they were thrown away by the fearsome man chosen by that new era.
Shin: What's this...?!!
Matsu: This is a summary of the measures the new government handed down to the Shinsengumi over the course of a month.
Give it a read.
Shin: Hijikata Toushirou,
Matsu: All the top brass got it.
Kondou's gorilla-marriage was just the beginning.
just suddenly appeared in the world.
SFX: GOUN ZAZAAZA
Matsu: He expanded his power in the blink of an eye
and coolly eliminated his political opponents
in a way unlike anything I've ever seen or heard of before.
Screen: Parliamentary Broadcast
It's not just the era,
he changed government itself.
And before we knew it,
he was standing there at that podium.
Yes, his name is...
Someone: ----And here is our first prime minister...
SFX: KAH KAH
Someone: Donald Zurump-kun's greeting...
Zura: It's not Zurump,
this country's done for.
Insert: The curtain raises on a catastrophy...!!