Gintama 676

[Gintama 676 Translation by Kewl0210]
Page 1:
Inser: A fated (?) clash!!
SFX: GAKIIIIN
Kanna: You
were not being serious, yes?
Title: Lesson 676
If Boys did Mogumogu Time, People Would Get Angry
Author: Sorachi Hideaki
T/N: Mogumogu Time (Chewing Time) was a segment shown at the 2018 Olympics where the Japanese women's curling team were shown eating snacks.
SFX: GAAN GYAAN GIN
Okita: If there's a kid I need to get serious against, they're not a kid anymore.
But
whether you're a woman, a kid, or whatever, I'm not so senile I can just sit quietly when there's someone strong in front of me.
And you came here in place of her, right? ["her" in italics]
So going easy on you is unnecessary.
Kanna: Was it you? The one who tried to use Mucchy to call Mommy here?

Page 2:
Kanna: Mommy told me that the Yorozuya broke up because of her,
so there was no way she could come back to Earth after all this time.
So I came instead.
What in the world are you trying to do collect together people like that?
Okita: You're not the ones we were calling.
We wanted to use you to call back a certain main.

Page 3:
Okita: Sakata Gintoki,
where are you now, and what are you doing?
SFX: GAKIKIIN
Matako: ...........!!
SFX: DOON DON
Matako: SHIROYASHAAAA!!
!!

Page 4:
Mata: Who the hell
are they...?!
SFX: ZA ZA ZA ZA
Guys: Shiroyasha,
there's no escape for you!

Page 5:
Guy: Let's
get that back.
Gin: Damn.
Did I stay in one spot for too long?
Man, ya can't get much busier than this!
SFX: GAH

Page 6:
SFX: DON
Gin: !!
SFX: DOPAA
Mata: SHIROYASHAAA!!
Don't get the wrong idea!!
I just don' wanna lose my one lead on Shinsuke-sama here!!
SFX: DOON DOON
Gin: Darnit. Nobody asked you to help!!
Don't come over here!!
SFX: DOON DOON
Gin: Don't start acting rash when you don't even know who the enemy is-
SFX: SLIIIP
SFX: DOOON
Gin: APPAAAA!!
SOmebody help meeeeeee!!
Mata: What happened ta the you from three panels ago?!

Page 7:
Takechi: I heard once about a weakness of the Shiroyasha. Due to a strange fruit he ate as a child, he was cursed to sink like a hammer whenever he goes in water.
Mata: Huh?! We're establishing something like that this late in the game?! Wait, hold on, fruit...?
T/N: This is a reference to One Piece, where the Devil Fruits do this if you eat them in exchange for giving the eater superpowers. Luffy got rubber powers.
Takechi: Yes. During a watermelon-splitting challenge in which he was trying to find it based only on the scent of the sugar content...
and then in exchange for not being able to swim, he gained a slovenly personality like droopy-droopy rubber...
Mata: Wait, what does that have to do with the fruit?! He's just a useless asshole who sinks like a lead weight!!
Gin: What the hell are you waiting for, Matako?! I'm telling Takasugi on you! I'm gonna let him know you were drinking Fanta with another man in the live action!
T/N: Suda Masaki, the actor who played Shinpachi in the live action movie, starred in a Fanta commercial. Also apparently him and the actress who played Matako, Nanao, are dating.
Handwritten: GYAAAAAAA
Mata: I take that last statement back, Senpai! I think that guy ate the making-me-sick-sick fruit!
Guy: Matako-san, intervening any further would be dangerous.
Mata: Wait up. I think I can get a headshot on him son...
SFX: DON DON DON
SFX: DOSHAAA

Page 8:
Gin: BUHAH! Goddammiiit!
I'm at my limit heeere!!
SFX: SWAAY
SFX: ZUBOOO
SFX: DOOOOON

Page 9:
SFX: GAKIIIIN
Okita: Did your mom not tell you?
SFX: GIRIRI
Okita: The Yorozuya boss disappeared from Edo two years ago and nobody knows where he's been since.
Nobody even knows if he's alive or dead.
SFX: GIRI GIGI
Okita: But if the enemy we fear appears,
we're gonna need the boss's power.
SFX: GUNN
Okita: What's wrong?
SFX: DOU
SFX: DAN
Okita: Your movement suddenly got sloppy.
SFX: HYAN
Okita: ...Hey,
no away, you...

Page 10:
Okita: Is your dad...
Kanna: I do not have one of thoooose!!!
SFX: GAKIIIn
Kanna: I am a duplicate of Mommy...
I told you I was only born from one parent, yes?!!
Okita: ...You're not just saying that to cover up the misconduct of the worst protagonist in Jump history, are ya?
No wonder the boss and your mom can't show their faces.
Kanna: I told you...
that's not what happeeened!!

Page 11:
SFX: GAKIIN
Shin: THat's enough.
There's no point in fighting anymore.
And on top of that,
I cannot allow the Yorozuya to be insulted anymore.
That person,
Gin-san,
not only is he not a pedophile, he has so much sugar intake he practically has ED...
Kanna: What are you talking aboooout?!!
SFX: GOFUH

Page 12:
Kanna: I did not come here in Mommy's place in order to revive the Yorozuya.
If that is what you want, try somebody else!
Okita: Then why did you come here?!
Just sight-seeing and pleasure-seeking? It doesn't look like it.
Whatever the reason is,
SFX: SQRRRSH
Okita: if you're gonna try to be hands-off,
then try to tear these hands off by force!!
SFX: DOFU
Kagura: You do not need
to tell me twice!!
SFX: GOH
Okita: Do you think something like that
SFX: GOSHAAA
Okita: would be enough to shake you free of my hands?! ["my" in italics]
SFX: DOGOO

Page 13:
Shin: Ummmm!!!
I'll ignore the fact that you're now using a human being as a weapon,
but at least hit your targets!! So far you're been nothing but beating me up and not each other!!
SFX: BUOOOO HUNUNUNUNU
Handwritten: HUOOOOOO
SFX: BUN
SFX: ZUSHAAAAA
Okita: 68 meters 20 centimeters.
Okay, my turn's next. This record's toast.
Shin: When did the rules change?!
Okita: Man, I haven't felt this sensation of my skin stinging in such a long time.
Kanna: Heh?! What nonsense are you saying now?!!
SFX: GAAAN
Okita: Your mom used to fight with me like this all the time.
Shin: I can't even tell what the rules are anymore!!
SFX: DOGOO
Kanna: I think we have crossed swords more than we have exchanged words.
SFX: SHAAAAA
Okita: But sometimes, a sword can be more eloquent than words.
Shin: Are you guys even fighting each other at this point?!
SFX: SHAKA SHAKA SHAKA
Okita: At the moment of that flash where you exchanged that pack of lies you came up with out of nowhere, I mogumogu
Kanna: I do not quite understand but I suppose so, ye~s?
Shin: We don't need a mogumogu time!!
SFX: MOGU MOGU (CHEW CHEW)

Page 14:
Okita: Your mom,
is actually already here on Earth, isn't she?
She's probably right now
watching this scene play out.
The truth is, she couldn't help
worrying about the people still here on Earth.
But she felt ashamed for having left earth so she couldn't show her face.
So she decided to send in her daughter so she could secretly watch from the shadows, right?
She's gotten pretty shrewd in the short time I haven't seen her.
Is that the type of person you are?
I thought if I tormented your daughter she'd come out of hiding,
but it looks like you're still being stubborn.
Hopefully you can't hold back much longer.
Who knows what might happen to your daughter.

Page 15:
SFX: DOH
Kanna: Who the hell
have you been blabbing on with?!!
SFX: OOOO
SFX: DON
Okita: Call her.
Scream out
for your mom to help you.

Page 16:
Shin: Kanna-chaaaaaan!!!
SFX: DOH
Okita: No, maybe this one
will get some results?
SFX: GOPAAA

Page 17:
Gin: BUHAA
SFX: ZAU
SFX: GEHO GOHO GOGOGOGO
SFX: ZUBAA

Page 18:
SFX: DOBOON

Page 19:
Gin: How's it going,
mastermind?
SFX: GO GO GO GO
Handwritten: GEHO GOHO
SFX: PARA PARA
Shin: K-Kanna-chan?
Okita: Nope. Looks like
she's finally come back.
Our beloved stubborn brat.
Insert: That form...?!
Bottom: Gintama
...Lesson 676
/ End